If Only... discussion
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If only there was a title...“Chan? Chan? Can you hear me?” a voice called.
“Yes, is that a good thing?” I asked the Voice.
“Yea, No Duh!” the Voice said back. It had an Italian ascent. I smiled. Italy, my favorite place in the whole world!
“Where am I?” I asked opening my eyes. Oh my goodness! I was in Italy! Impossible you say, indeed but I really mean it…It didn’t seem real to me ether.
“Next stop is The Pizza Plaza. One of the most famous pizza shops in Italy.” The Voice! It was a guy-that-pushes-canoes-down-a-ditch or whatever you call ‘em. I could smell pizza and Italian food. Sweet savory! The canoe thing stopped and I got off. The Pizza Plaza was more than I could ever imagine. There were small triangle flags and colorful bricks all more beautiful then the rest…streamers were in every corner! I inhaled everything and exhaled excitement. I couldn’t resist buying some food. When I put the hot, steaming lasagna on my tongue, I was between heaven and earth when everything went black, ladies and gentle men I present the dullest color in the world! That is what I felt like saying, but I could not move, think, or talk.
If only I could say, Wow, that sounds really cool! I'd love to see how the rest of your story plays out!
If only I could agree with her. Oh wait I can! Awesome job! This sounds like an interesting story!
If only I had been to Italy...
“You will forgive me if I am sincere?”
She considered it. “I might.”
“Then I hope you will forgive me when I say, Princess Eshia, that I have learned two things during my recent travels.”
“And they are?”
The prince was abruptly serious. “I have learned that nothing can be trusted to stay the same, that loved ones can die at any time. I have learned…that I do not want to risk my love for you on an elven game.”
“It was a fine game.”
“Love should not be played so lightly,” he said, his black eyes earnest.
“I wonder,” Eshia said after a long moment, “I wonder if you are really so accomplished with those two swords, Kaslim.”
He stiffened for half a second, then the twin swords appeared in his hands and he swung around, catching a blade on the Guard’s waiting one. He was fully prepared to engage the Guard, but in the darkness he had not realized there were two. The second one knocked his blade to the ground, but the prince had already turned his remaining sword toward a different target.
It hung by her pale neck, glinting faintly in the moonlight. Then the prince sighed.
“Princess Eshia,” he said in defeat, sheathing it. He bowed.
She inclined her head gracefully. At a signal from her, the two Guards pulled his arms behind him, closing manacles around his wrists.
“Perhaps,” Kaslim said before they led him away, “I was mistaken. Perhaps you would make a suitable wife for my brother.”
The princess did not reply.
“You will forgive me if I am sincere?”
She considered it. “I might.”
“Then I hope you will forgive me when I say, Princess Eshia, that I have learned two things during my recent travels.”
“And they are?”
The prince was abruptly serious. “I have learned that nothing can be trusted to stay the same, that loved ones can die at any time. I have learned…that I do not want to risk my love for you on an elven game.”
“It was a fine game.”
“Love should not be played so lightly,” he said, his black eyes earnest.
“I wonder,” Eshia said after a long moment, “I wonder if you are really so accomplished with those two swords, Kaslim.”
He stiffened for half a second, then the twin swords appeared in his hands and he swung around, catching a blade on the Guard’s waiting one. He was fully prepared to engage the Guard, but in the darkness he had not realized there were two. The second one knocked his blade to the ground, but the prince had already turned his remaining sword toward a different target.
It hung by her pale neck, glinting faintly in the moonlight. Then the prince sighed.
“Princess Eshia,” he said in defeat, sheathing it. He bowed.
She inclined her head gracefully. At a signal from her, the two Guards pulled his arms behind him, closing manacles around his wrists.
“Perhaps,” Kaslim said before they led him away, “I was mistaken. Perhaps you would make a suitable wife for my brother.”
The princess did not reply.
If only I could read more! That sounds really cool!
If only I could show you the prologue... wait I can. Here it is :D
Prologue
There was a sudden silence. The single flame in the center of the room burned brightly. A poor, condemned creature was crouched in front of the fire with his head bowed to the floor. The silence seemed to be thick and heavy about the small chamber.
Fearful, yet defiant, the creature boldly awaited his sentence. After an endless period of quiet waiting, a deep voice shattered the thick silence like a ripple shatters a flowing stream.
“Under the wings of our forsaken ancestors, we congregate now under the third full moon to uphold our only surviving tradition, of justice and virtue, of boldness and strength, of honor and of valor. We who are here in representation are naught but shadows of our former race. But in the midst of the Sacred Flame, we have gathered to practice and prolong this tradition of which I speak. The Tradition, my brothers, commands that we must Condemn and Cleanse. The first step of the tradition is complete – the condemnation has been wrought – and so the Cleansing must begin.”
The cold, wet voice uttered a guttural chuckle and addressed the trembling creature huddled on the floor.
“In that, Ereverstraya, you know why you grovel before us in the face of the Flame.”
The creature, Ereverstraya, struggled to best his bravery, struggled to remain vigilant as the unlawful charges were being brought against him. The reptilian voice continued to speak, its throaty tone judging and unfeeling.
“You have committed an Unspeakable Act, defined as the utmost Treason. Your betrayal and treachery shall not go unpunished.”
The voice grew louder as its owner let out a roar that echoed multiple times throughout the chamber, reverberating off of every stone that constructed the small dark room. Suddenly the single flame in the center of the room flared up, rising ever higher, gaining more force as the heat intensified; the once single flame soon had become a pillar of light and fire. The surrounding room was illuminated in a flash.
The now brightly lit room revealed six large creatures sitting silently around the wall, each of them facing inwards towards the Sacred Flame. Their scaly wings were tightly wrapped around their thick bodies like a membrane jacket. They were completely still, their eyes unblinking, resembling stone guardians in their vigil.
Then the voice spoke again. “By the decree of our ancient race, we sentence you to persecution, the highest form of Cleansing. From this moon forth, you shall be stripped of your wings and your tail, and of everything else that honors your identity as part of the Divine. You shall lose the right to our Lore, including the right to your very own name. You are hereby banished to Canis Hollow, where you shall take on their animal form and no longer speak in our Tongue. You shall now be known as simply Erever, and you shall never be seen again.”
The creature known as Erever shot a glance at the larger creature who spoke, hungry to look upon the face of the one who so falsely accused him. The surging flame illuminated the gruesome owner of the voice. Dark scales surrounded his sunken yellow eyes, the same yellow as his rotten teeth; large fangs jutted out from his cracked lips as his gums split wide into a greedy smile. His rancid breath created a stench that wafted into the air, creating a scent stronger than that of the burning flames.
The creature gurgled a laugh from the depths of his throat as he boomed, “Be gone!”
Erever let out a terrifying screech as his body began to slowly transform. Violently, his wings were ripped out of their sockets by some invisible magic; in a bloody, writhing fit, Erever painfully heard the popping of his joints and the deep tearing of his skin. As his body pulsed and trembled as it changed its shape from Divine into something more primal and fearsome, he felt the warmth of his blood gushing over his twisting body. His tail shrank to a thick stump; his scales diminished, and in their place dark tufts of coarse hair began to grow over his once smooth skin. This ungodly ritual lasted until long after the sun was high as poor young Erever underwent the damnable transformation – from Divine into Canis.
Newly transformed, the grotesquely transformed creature let out a wailing howl, which pierced the frosty air, victimized by the macabre ritual.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Upon hearing a tormented wail, a dying Elder turned his head to face the villagers of a far-off land. With a wheezing and weakening voice, he reached out his hands to address the simple people.
“Humans, this is the Final Age of Tyrannus. The Gods are reaching the extent of their reign, and will soon wither and be gone, much like myself.” The elder coughed and wheezed, and a young girl reached out to support him in his final moments. “The heavens are collapsing, my children. The ancient temples crumbling! The face of humanity is fading. I sense that corruption is spreading like a plague.” He wheezed out another cough. “Fear and confusion are the instincts that lie with us now…”
The old man laid down his head. The villagers gathered near his cooling body as he drew his final breaths. His voice withered as he issued his last words. “But justice… shall withstand… the end of the world. End this tyranny!”
With that final proclaim, the Elder closed his eyes, never to awaken.
If only I could say sorry for the length!
Prologue
There was a sudden silence. The single flame in the center of the room burned brightly. A poor, condemned creature was crouched in front of the fire with his head bowed to the floor. The silence seemed to be thick and heavy about the small chamber.
Fearful, yet defiant, the creature boldly awaited his sentence. After an endless period of quiet waiting, a deep voice shattered the thick silence like a ripple shatters a flowing stream.
“Under the wings of our forsaken ancestors, we congregate now under the third full moon to uphold our only surviving tradition, of justice and virtue, of boldness and strength, of honor and of valor. We who are here in representation are naught but shadows of our former race. But in the midst of the Sacred Flame, we have gathered to practice and prolong this tradition of which I speak. The Tradition, my brothers, commands that we must Condemn and Cleanse. The first step of the tradition is complete – the condemnation has been wrought – and so the Cleansing must begin.”
The cold, wet voice uttered a guttural chuckle and addressed the trembling creature huddled on the floor.
“In that, Ereverstraya, you know why you grovel before us in the face of the Flame.”
The creature, Ereverstraya, struggled to best his bravery, struggled to remain vigilant as the unlawful charges were being brought against him. The reptilian voice continued to speak, its throaty tone judging and unfeeling.
“You have committed an Unspeakable Act, defined as the utmost Treason. Your betrayal and treachery shall not go unpunished.”
The voice grew louder as its owner let out a roar that echoed multiple times throughout the chamber, reverberating off of every stone that constructed the small dark room. Suddenly the single flame in the center of the room flared up, rising ever higher, gaining more force as the heat intensified; the once single flame soon had become a pillar of light and fire. The surrounding room was illuminated in a flash.
The now brightly lit room revealed six large creatures sitting silently around the wall, each of them facing inwards towards the Sacred Flame. Their scaly wings were tightly wrapped around their thick bodies like a membrane jacket. They were completely still, their eyes unblinking, resembling stone guardians in their vigil.
Then the voice spoke again. “By the decree of our ancient race, we sentence you to persecution, the highest form of Cleansing. From this moon forth, you shall be stripped of your wings and your tail, and of everything else that honors your identity as part of the Divine. You shall lose the right to our Lore, including the right to your very own name. You are hereby banished to Canis Hollow, where you shall take on their animal form and no longer speak in our Tongue. You shall now be known as simply Erever, and you shall never be seen again.”
The creature known as Erever shot a glance at the larger creature who spoke, hungry to look upon the face of the one who so falsely accused him. The surging flame illuminated the gruesome owner of the voice. Dark scales surrounded his sunken yellow eyes, the same yellow as his rotten teeth; large fangs jutted out from his cracked lips as his gums split wide into a greedy smile. His rancid breath created a stench that wafted into the air, creating a scent stronger than that of the burning flames.
The creature gurgled a laugh from the depths of his throat as he boomed, “Be gone!”
Erever let out a terrifying screech as his body began to slowly transform. Violently, his wings were ripped out of their sockets by some invisible magic; in a bloody, writhing fit, Erever painfully heard the popping of his joints and the deep tearing of his skin. As his body pulsed and trembled as it changed its shape from Divine into something more primal and fearsome, he felt the warmth of his blood gushing over his twisting body. His tail shrank to a thick stump; his scales diminished, and in their place dark tufts of coarse hair began to grow over his once smooth skin. This ungodly ritual lasted until long after the sun was high as poor young Erever underwent the damnable transformation – from Divine into Canis.
Newly transformed, the grotesquely transformed creature let out a wailing howl, which pierced the frosty air, victimized by the macabre ritual.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Upon hearing a tormented wail, a dying Elder turned his head to face the villagers of a far-off land. With a wheezing and weakening voice, he reached out his hands to address the simple people.
“Humans, this is the Final Age of Tyrannus. The Gods are reaching the extent of their reign, and will soon wither and be gone, much like myself.” The elder coughed and wheezed, and a young girl reached out to support him in his final moments. “The heavens are collapsing, my children. The ancient temples crumbling! The face of humanity is fading. I sense that corruption is spreading like a plague.” He wheezed out another cough. “Fear and confusion are the instincts that lie with us now…”
The old man laid down his head. The villagers gathered near his cooling body as he drew his final breaths. His voice withered as he issued his last words. “But justice… shall withstand… the end of the world. End this tyranny!”
With that final proclaim, the Elder closed his eyes, never to awaken.
If only I could say sorry for the length!
If only I could read more of your story! I've read the first two chapters, and I'm working on finding (or stealing) time to read more! :D It's very good.
I posted my elf story in another topic, though that particular scene is WAY in the future.
I posted my elf story in another topic, though that particular scene is WAY in the future.
If only I could say... That sounds so cool! Can't wait for you to write more :)
If only I could say thanks!! And I will/am! And diddo for you - I really like your story so far.
Lauren wrote: "If only I could say thanks!! And I will/am! And diddo for you - I really like your story so far."
If only I could say thank you! Oh wait I just did! Thank you!
If only I could say thank you! Oh wait I just did! Thank you!
If only you could post one of your favorite scenes from your story, so I could read it, agree with you with how awesome it is, and post another one of mine :D
If only I could say, Ok! I'll post another one of my scenes. Here it is:
Damius reached out a slightly trembling hand to Amira. She took it willingly, and he pulled her closer to him. They were facing each other, but could sense the stares of the humans, sitting on Amira’s left hand side, and Damius’ right. Damius’ breaths were short. Amira became very nervous, unsure of his intentions. Damius began to speak, his voice thick but quivering.
“Amira. You have been my friend for many years, and your friendship is a beautiful thing that I shall never regret. I hope you feel the same.”
He now held both of her hands in his. His palms were sweating, increasing his anxiety. Amira was flattered by his kind words, but she still did not understand his intent. Damius continued, his eyes vibrant.
“Now, in the more recent times, our friendship has blossomed. I feel more connected to you now than I have been in the past. My feelings for you have grown, but I have not simple words to describe them. Amira…”
His eyes were moist and glistening, bright with the reflection of the bonfire beside him.
“…You are the light of my life, and the fire of my soul. You are beautiful within and without. You are my blessing, and I love you. Amira…”
Suddenly Amira’s heart flipped in her chest. Her breaths came to her in short gasps as she realized what was happening. Damius, holding her hand with one of his, knelt down before her. His eyes were fixed upon hers, wide and passionate. He swallowed. He then spoke in a soft voice.
“…Will you marry me?”
Damius reached out a slightly trembling hand to Amira. She took it willingly, and he pulled her closer to him. They were facing each other, but could sense the stares of the humans, sitting on Amira’s left hand side, and Damius’ right. Damius’ breaths were short. Amira became very nervous, unsure of his intentions. Damius began to speak, his voice thick but quivering.
“Amira. You have been my friend for many years, and your friendship is a beautiful thing that I shall never regret. I hope you feel the same.”
He now held both of her hands in his. His palms were sweating, increasing his anxiety. Amira was flattered by his kind words, but she still did not understand his intent. Damius continued, his eyes vibrant.
“Now, in the more recent times, our friendship has blossomed. I feel more connected to you now than I have been in the past. My feelings for you have grown, but I have not simple words to describe them. Amira…”
His eyes were moist and glistening, bright with the reflection of the bonfire beside him.
“…You are the light of my life, and the fire of my soul. You are beautiful within and without. You are my blessing, and I love you. Amira…”
Suddenly Amira’s heart flipped in her chest. Her breaths came to her in short gasps as she realized what was happening. Damius, holding her hand with one of his, knelt down before her. His eyes were fixed upon hers, wide and passionate. He swallowed. He then spoke in a soft voice.
“…Will you marry me?”
If only I could say how amazing that scene is!! I just had this *gasp* moment! Awesome, Emily!
If only I could say, "Aww, thanks!" That really means a lot to me :)
If only I could say you're very welcome, and apologize for the length of this next scene.
“Couldn’t sleep, poppet?”
Cristina froze.
The voice’s owner appeared just to the side of her, not moving into view so much as appearing. “I thought as much,” he said softly, noting her surprise. Her surprise, and the pack full of her few belongings she had on one shoulder.
“Are you going somewhere?” Talamar asked.
“No,” she said automatically.
He grinned. “Then I suggest you remove yourself to your tent. It is not safe out in these woods, even in the company of elves.”
Especially in the company of elves, she wanted to say. Talamar seemed to guess her thoughts. His grin widened.
“Why do you want to leave?”
No outright rejection, no attempt to stop her, just a simple why. She felt this deserved an honest answer. “I have to find my brother.”
The grin was replaced by gentle seriousness. “You do realize your brother is most likely dead?”
She refused to let the words sink in. “Then I’ll find out what happened to him.”
“You cannot be suggesting—” He shook his head. “You haven’t the faintest idea where he is. He might have found his way back home by now. If he hasn’t, then how are you going to help him?” She knew what he was ever so nicely refraining from saying: how are you, a human, going to help him?
“I’m the only help he is going to get,” she said. “He’s the only hope I have of remembering my home.”
“I’m afraid leaving is not possible,” he said. “It is suicide. And a terrible waste.” He smiled.
She had an idea then. It was dangerous and reckless, but she seized on it with desperation. “A bargain.”
Something flickered in his tawny eyes. He cocked his head. “I am listening.”
“You don’t…consume whole souls? Take a portion of mine.”
His face settled into its usual unreadable expression, but without humor. “To let you go? You would have me face whatever punishment that entails?”
She took a steadying breath. “How much is my soul worth to you? It can’t be very often that you have the opportunity to—” she struggled to keep disgust from creeping into her voice “—sample a human.”
He pinned her in a long, assessing glance. Then he gave the darkness around them a swift search. “Come with me.”
He led her around the perimeter of the camp, picking his way along an invisible that he had clearly familiarized himself with. Cristina kept tripping over dead wood and inconveniently placed bushes. She hoped Talamar’s hearing wasn’t good enough to pick up the wild thumping of her heart, twice as fast as the walk demanded.
She couldn’t get rid of the image of the boy ahead of her leaning down over Vraneir’s neck, a look of anticipation on his face…
They were brought up short by a cloaked figure.
“Talamar,” the elf said, throwing back his hood. “You had the other half of the camp to watch.”
“Juar,” the vampire said, nodding. “I believe this tomte lost her way. Would you do me the favor of conducting her to her tent?”
Cristina started, but by then it was too late. Juar stepped closer while Talamar moved away, giving him room.
“Gramercy,” the traitorous boy said.
“Why?” Cristina said, glaring at him.
Talamar half turned, almost indiscernible with his back to the dark forest. “A terrible waste,” he said, and kept walking.
“Couldn’t sleep, poppet?”
Cristina froze.
The voice’s owner appeared just to the side of her, not moving into view so much as appearing. “I thought as much,” he said softly, noting her surprise. Her surprise, and the pack full of her few belongings she had on one shoulder.
“Are you going somewhere?” Talamar asked.
“No,” she said automatically.
He grinned. “Then I suggest you remove yourself to your tent. It is not safe out in these woods, even in the company of elves.”
Especially in the company of elves, she wanted to say. Talamar seemed to guess her thoughts. His grin widened.
“Why do you want to leave?”
No outright rejection, no attempt to stop her, just a simple why. She felt this deserved an honest answer. “I have to find my brother.”
The grin was replaced by gentle seriousness. “You do realize your brother is most likely dead?”
She refused to let the words sink in. “Then I’ll find out what happened to him.”
“You cannot be suggesting—” He shook his head. “You haven’t the faintest idea where he is. He might have found his way back home by now. If he hasn’t, then how are you going to help him?” She knew what he was ever so nicely refraining from saying: how are you, a human, going to help him?
“I’m the only help he is going to get,” she said. “He’s the only hope I have of remembering my home.”
“I’m afraid leaving is not possible,” he said. “It is suicide. And a terrible waste.” He smiled.
She had an idea then. It was dangerous and reckless, but she seized on it with desperation. “A bargain.”
Something flickered in his tawny eyes. He cocked his head. “I am listening.”
“You don’t…consume whole souls? Take a portion of mine.”
His face settled into its usual unreadable expression, but without humor. “To let you go? You would have me face whatever punishment that entails?”
She took a steadying breath. “How much is my soul worth to you? It can’t be very often that you have the opportunity to—” she struggled to keep disgust from creeping into her voice “—sample a human.”
He pinned her in a long, assessing glance. Then he gave the darkness around them a swift search. “Come with me.”
He led her around the perimeter of the camp, picking his way along an invisible that he had clearly familiarized himself with. Cristina kept tripping over dead wood and inconveniently placed bushes. She hoped Talamar’s hearing wasn’t good enough to pick up the wild thumping of her heart, twice as fast as the walk demanded.
She couldn’t get rid of the image of the boy ahead of her leaning down over Vraneir’s neck, a look of anticipation on his face…
They were brought up short by a cloaked figure.
“Talamar,” the elf said, throwing back his hood. “You had the other half of the camp to watch.”
“Juar,” the vampire said, nodding. “I believe this tomte lost her way. Would you do me the favor of conducting her to her tent?”
Cristina started, but by then it was too late. Juar stepped closer while Talamar moved away, giving him room.
“Gramercy,” the traitorous boy said.
“Why?” Cristina said, glaring at him.
Talamar half turned, almost indiscernible with his back to the dark forest. “A terrible waste,” he said, and kept walking.
If only I could show you my awe! That was really really amazing, Lauren!
If only I could tell you how big you made me smile and how happy that makes me! Thanks :D
If only I could thank everyone for there great support of Machiko and Caius! I suppose I should show you how they act in the fanfic. So here goes.First 2 paragraphs of Prologue
Anime Academy
Welcome to Anima Academy! Here students are free to be themselves in a protected environment that while not totally risk free is certainly a step up from dangerous and a step down from complete hands off control. Here we hope that students will be able to gain the education they need while also having time to themselves and the opportunity to allow their natural talents to grow. We teach all subjects from Math to Magic, English to Elvish, and Physics to Psychic Control. And please do not be afraid to ask our staff for assistance. Allow us to help you help yourself.
`What in the world does that mean?' Machiko asked herself yet again. Each time she looked at the huge sign, all the words meshed together into one meaningless glob. She shook her head to try and clear it.
Last few paragraphs of Chapter 6 (the latest one I've written)
"Now then I think we need to establish some rules and boundaries for living together."
"Oh I don't think we have to worry about that master." Caius chided grinning, "You've never had a roommate like me."
Machiko stared at him in surprise not certain of what Caius meant.
He grinned and began what seemed to be a well rehearsed monologue.
"I have been taught from the time that I was old enough to understand to always be courteous to females. I was also told that a woman/girl is always right. So, whenever you want something, I won't refuse you. I won't complain. We have individual bathrooms so you don't have to worry about me taking your precious preparation time. Your room is off limits unless you say otherwise, but mine is always open. I have to let you win every once in awhile at WII. You get to choose the TV programs. Even after a run I have to put pajamas on for bed. I won't bring any girls back to the room, but you are free to bring any guy you wish. But most importantly I won't ask you out." He finished and gave her a mock bow, "Now if you'll forgive me I will promptly break every rule I just set starting by asking you to the concert on Friday."
Machiko was speechless, all she could do was numbly nod.
"Then with that I bid you a good night m'lady." Caius said taking her hand and bowing before he gently kissed it.
He slipped nimbly into his room, which was located directly across from hers, and shut the door.
Machiko was still awestruck but she managed to choke out, "Good night" before she backed into her room and gently closed her door.
If only I could say how awesome that was. Caius and Machiko are so funny! I loved that 'monologue' and Machiko's reaction.
If only I could agree! That's right, girl power!
If only I could say thanks so much! You guys are so great!
If only i say....................THAT WAS AWESOME!!!
If only I could say thank you in a different language...oh I can! Arigato!
If only, It ilooks like you say aregino
isn't that a spice?
If only I could lol! Arigato, (thank you in Japanese...at least I'm pretty sure it is.)
Here you can. You can post scenes from your stories that you think are really great! They can be romantic, dramatic, violent, sad, or even funny! Let's see what you can do!