Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry discussion

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Fun and Games > harry potter jokes

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message 1: by Jessica (new)

Jessica | 881 comments hahahahahaa so funny


message 2: by cat, Herbology professor (new)

cat (catalleecat) | 467 comments Mod
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha


message 3: by Bradli, Detention Profeesor (new)

Bradli (thepowersthatbe) | 240 comments Mod
Siriusly guys. Lay off the Harry Potter jokes. It's getting riddikulus.


message 4: by Jen , Headmisstress, Muggle Studies Professor (new)

Jen  | 1576 comments Mod
this topic is strictly for harry potter jokes so I don't know how we can do that!


message 5: by cat, Herbology professor (new)

cat (catalleecat) | 467 comments Mod
yea serious guys wait im not just serius i am serious black


ok i know bad joke bad joke


message 6: by Ashley (new)

Ashley Bradli wrote: "Siriusly guys. Lay off the Harry Potter jokes. It's getting riddikulus."

Umm the joke was in her post (riddikulus) :) lol


message 7: by cat, Herbology professor (new)

cat (catalleecat) | 467 comments Mod
hahahahahaha


message 8: by Simply (new)

Simply (ninjaofthekeyboard) Are you (de)Mentoral or what?


message 9: by Laura (new)

Laura wow amazing guys hey bradli its u whom!


message 10: by Ashley (new)

Ashley Darn i have to go take my dog to the Petter Pet-i-groomer! :)

Wow that one stunk!


message 11: by Laura (new)

Laura amazing


message 12: by Bradli, Detention Profeesor (new)

Bradli (thepowersthatbe) | 240 comments Mod
Laura wrote: "wow amazing guys hey bradli its u whom!"

it's you know whom laura


message 13: by Jessica (new)

Jessica | 881 comments thats why i didn't get it! wow laura your truly amazing


message 14: by Ashley (new)

Ashley haha :)


message 15: by Laura (new)

Laura thank u thank u


message 16: by Ashley (new)

Ashley How many Slytherins does it take to screw in a lightbulb?


message 17: by Ashley (new)

Ashley only one, they hold it up and the world revolves around them. :)


message 18: by Jen , Headmisstress, Muggle Studies Professor (new)

Jen  | 1576 comments Mod
Gasp!


§Lilybear (Hannah)§ Panda Luver ♥ (Pandaz) | 174 comments *glares*


message 21: by Laura (new)

Laura *stares*


message 22: by Laura (new)

Laura ya right


message 23: by Bradli, Detention Profeesor (new)

Bradli (thepowersthatbe) | 240 comments Mod
personaly I liked the light bulb one


message 24: by Jessica (new)

Jessica | 881 comments hahahahhahahahaha thats funny XD


message 25: by Ashley (new)

Ashley haha :) sorry for the slytherin one, i couldn't resist :)


message 26: by Simply (new)

Simply (ninjaofthekeyboard) Knock Knock
Who's There?
Black
Siriously?
Well, Sierious Black to be exact

Wow that was relly bad!
And I love the Sliythein one!


message 27: by Ashley (last edited Aug 23, 2010 12:13PM) (new)

Ashley haha :) I found some good ones:
You know that you are too big a harry potter fan when:


You call your least favorite teacher a Snape.

Your computer says "You've Got Mail" and you run outside looking for an owl.

You mutter "lumos" under your breath every time you turn on a flashlight. (i am so going to do this now!!)

You sort everyone you meet into the four Hogwarts houses.

You were burned when you couldn't get through the flames of your fireplace.

You had to go to the hospital after you broke your nose running headfirst into the wall between platforms nine and ten.

The wand order mistake in GoF drove you crazy, and even after it was "corrected" you still came up with dozens of theories to explain why that happened.

You point a normal things like parking meters and say "Look at the things these muggles dream up!"

You try on every piece of silvery fabric your mom has to see if you turn invisible

Before getting up to get something, you always try to summon it first. Accio TV remote!

You watched "Love, Actually" because two minor Harry Potter actors were in it.

You were reduced to tears when you finally had book 5 in your hands.

You refer to your Chemistry class as Potions, and all your friends think you're mad.

You spend hours tapping bricks in special orders hoping that a secret entrance to Diagon Alley will appear.

When playing chess, you yell orders to the chess players and get upset when they don't move.

You yell into the "fellytone."

Despite being an American, you use the word "wicked" all the time because Rupert Grint does.

You get thoroughly overexcited every time you see a word somewhere that is distantly linked with HP (ie. Saint Hedwig's).

You get in to heated arguments over how much gel Tom Felton had in his hair in the first two movies.

You know that Harry's birthday is July 31, 1980, Hermione's birthday is September 19, 1980 and Ron's birthday is March 3rd, 1980 even though it never said in the books.

You refer to Voldemort as "You-Know-Who", and your friends don't have any idea who you're talking about.

You went out and bought the latest editition of the Webster's Dictionary because they added the word "muggle".

You were kicked out of the movie theater for standing on your chair, throwing your shoe at the screen and yelling "THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN IN THE BOOK!" over and over again, even for the most trivial differences.

You count the days until you're old enough for your apparating license, and everyone else thinks you're talking about driving.


message 28: by Jessica (new)

Jessica | 881 comments hahahahahhaa thats so funny!


message 29: by Ashley (new)

Ashley I know right!


message 30: by cat, Herbology professor (new)

cat (catalleecat) | 467 comments Mod
ok i admit i do accio what ever i tryed it on something i lost with a tube of cardboard it didnt work


message 31: by Ashley (new)

Ashley that's too bad, but from now on, i am definitely doing the lumos thing! We just did a lab in science where we had to use burners, i should have used it then! DARN!!!!


§Lilybear (Hannah)§ Panda Luver ♥ (Pandaz) | 174 comments lol!! I call my least favourite teacher 'Snape' occasionally.


message 33: by Ashley (last edited May 04, 2010 07:36PM) (new)

Ashley haha :) someone needs to find more jokes. I still think my slytherin one reigns supreme


message 34: by Antje གརས པཅ (last edited Jun 15, 2010 12:51AM) (new)

Antje གརས པཅ Parker You were kicked out of the movie theater for standing on your chair, throwing your shoe at the screen and yelling "THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN IN THE BOOK!" over and over again, even for the most trivial differences.
my favorite part in the potter fan joke

how many slytherins does it take to screw a light bulb
1 to screw the light bulb and 4 to say with their fathers connection at the ministry they could screw it faster

Another Slytheryn joke



How many Hufflepuffs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

All of them.

Why did the Hufflepuff charm her hair blonde?

To look intelligent.

-----

Why did the Hufflepuff return his House tie?

It was too tight.

------

Did you hear about the Hufflepuff who gave his Kneazle a bath?

He is still trying to get the fur off his tongue.

------

What do you call a Hufflepuff with one brain cell?

Gifted.

------

What do you call a Hufflepuff with two brain cells?

Pregnant.

------

Three girls, a Hufflepuff, a Ravenclaw, and a Slytherin are all first years- which is the sexiest?

The Hufflepuff because she is seventeen.

------

A blind wizard walks into a pub. He says to the barkeep, "Want to hear a Hufflepuff joke?" The pub goes completely silent. The barkeep says, "Sir, I am a Hufflepuff. I'm used to handling a rough crowd alone. I have my wand drawn. The wizard to your left is an auror with his wand drawn. He too is a Hufflepuff. The witch on your right has her wand drawn. She is a dueling champion and also a Hufflepuff. Are you absolutely certain you want to tell that Hufflepuff joke?"

The blind wizard says, "Gods no! Not if I'm going to have to explain it three times!"

and some hufflepuff jokes

How many ghosts does it take to light a wand?
<>

How many Lockharts does it take to light a wand?
<>

How many Hagrids does it take to light a wand?
<>

How many Dudleys does it take to light a wand?
<>

How many Peeves does it take to light up a wand?
<>

How many Slytherins does it take to light up a wand?
<>


message 35: by Annie (new)

Annie (annieiscool13) Those were good jokes!


Iviana (The Sign Painter) Mʘ‿ʘP (thesignpainter) ...A person I know, *cough*Slytherin*cough* would've said the Hufflepuff jokes. And me, being the proud Hufflepuff that I am, would've slapped her silly...


message 37: by Simply (new)

Simply (ninjaofthekeyboard) They aren't meant to be offensive!


Iviana (The Sign Painter) Mʘ‿ʘP (thesignpainter) No, I mean the way she would've said it....


Antje གརས པཅ Parker They are not meant to be offensive, just to be funny b/c everyone needs a good laugh


Iviana (The Sign Painter) Mʘ‿ʘP (thesignpainter) like I said, it's the way she would've said it.


Iviana (The Sign Painter) Mʘ‿ʘP (thesignpainter) I have to say this: "Hufflepuffs are particularly good finders."


Antje གརས པཅ Parker ya, wasn't Cedric a Hufflepuff


Iviana (The Sign Painter) Mʘ‿ʘP (thesignpainter) yes, and so was Tonks.


Antje གརས པཅ Parker ya, the whole idiot thing is just a stereotype that makes good jokes


Iviana (The Sign Painter) Mʘ‿ʘP (thesignpainter) ya...and when I say something smart, every one of my HP friends sorta stares at me.


Antje གརས པཅ Parker some people can be so naïve


Iviana (The Sign Painter) Mʘ‿ʘP (thesignpainter) I know. It gets annoying when they say I should be a Ravenclaw instead.


Antje གརས པཅ Parker most, maybe even all ravenclaws are really smart but there not the only ones


Iviana (The Sign Painter) Mʘ‿ʘP (thesignpainter) exactly. ;)


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