Readers and Reading discussion

Dear Diary - It's been a tough month for me, as I've tried to obtain my blood pressure medicine without benefit of a doctor's prescription. I haven't been to a doctor for at least 12 years and would do almost anything to never see one. However- after years of getting my medicine from one source or another, sources dried up the last week in December, and I was going to run out. Actually, I did run out, but not before I discovered an online Canadian pharmacy that promised to send me my medication without a prescription!!! I know and you know that that is a no-no, but I was desparate. I didn't google the company or anything a sensible, intelligent person would do.

I received my confirmation and was told the pills would arrive in 7 - 12 days. I only had pills for 5, so I just quit taking them, holding out two in case I ended up having to go to the doctor. On the 12th day, I tracked my package at the UPS site, only to find it was being mailed from Mumbai, India that day! Then I finally googled the company, and discovered that it's run by Ukrainian or Russian mobsters!

As I realized I would have to go to the doctor, I had a panic attack - sheer adrenaline flooded my system. I took my blood pressure medication and called around to see if I could round up a tranquilizer or two to keep me in order at the doctor's office. I didn't want to go in in that state. A friend had some Xanax someone had given her when she was having panic attacks - she'd only taken one and didn't think it did much of anything but she got them to me in a little baggie with some broken bits and white powder. The white powder looked about the size a couple of decent sized pills would make, so I took it all - licked the bag clean. And I felt great, sailing off to the doctor without a care in the world. I went to an Urgent Care Center near us and said I wanted my pills. It's not that easy - the doctor got more and more agitated the more we talked, and the more history he got out of me. And he didn't like my Xanax laden "vitals". "Don't you know how dangerous it is to just quit your pills?" Don't you know you have to be monitored? Don't you know this, that and the other thing?" I know all of that, but I kept my mouth shut and looked at him in an appealingly stupid little old lady way. He finally gave me a prescription for 10 days, a treating doctor's card and told me to get a primary physician or else! And my friend screamed at me, too - "You took it all? There must have been 15 in there." Sigh. It's a wonder I'm alive.

I made it to the doctor on Tuesday, she was very pleasant, attractive, attentive - wants to examine me from head to toe, of course! Damn. My vitals were fine without the benefit of Xanax :) I was pretty honest with her, behaved myself, let her touch me (I hate that!) - OK.

I got the pills from India, too. Very odd colors. I'm going to take them to the doctor the next time I see her and see if we can figure out what they are.

The doctors seem astounded I'm still alive despite going through 12 years of my life without them. And without all of those tests! She wants me to have a bone scan, an EKG, blood tests, mammagrams, colonostro whatever - all this without a single physical complaint from me. Well, we'll see about all that :)

Bunny wrote: "She wants me to have a bone scan, an EKG, blood tests, mammagrams, colonostro whatever - all this without a single physical complaint from me. Well, we'll see about all that :)"

I am so temperamentally sympathetic to your feelings on this that I cannot believe I have to write this scolding post! Bunny, my mother also shared your antipathy to doctors. She would occasionally comment that she never took anything but aspirin, and darned little of that. So by the time they found her colon cancer, it was too late to stop. In three years she was dead.

Bunny, Bunny, Bunny (imagine that said in a scolding tone) ----how has your loving family allowed you to get away with this? Who has been enabling you all these years?

And why were you taking pills for your BP if you did not know that you needed them?

If I may paraphrase Montaigne - I've known quite a few poeple who have died with a dozen doctors around them. My sentiments exactly. I think if the US were in the top ten countries for healthy and health cared for people, I might consider anything a doctor told me here, but, as we're about 47th in the world, I can't believe all of these tests are helping us - I do believe they're helping the pharmaceutical companies a lot. Oh,you've got high colosteral - take a pill or two every day for the rest of your life. High blood pressure - the same - no other answers explored. I told my son about all of the tests this doctor wanted to run on me, and he, who is the administrator of a large nursing home facility, said, "Oh, someone wants to make a lot of money off of you. You shouldn't have taken your Gucci bag with you."

I have a long, long sad story of that year I had cancer - or that three years I had cancer and was told by many a reputable doctor that the only reason I felt badly was because I wasn't capable of the responsibility of being a wife and mother of 3. I was sent to a psychiatrist (who was so perfectly turned out that I felt like an instant slob next to him - he told me I was in serious trouble with my life and wanted to see me 3 times a week at least!) but I didn't go. I knew there was something wrong with my body. I had always been a sane person - it made no sense that I was suddenly unbalanced.

I finally met a doctor who guessed what was wrong with me, operated, explored, found it, took it away and told me I would have been dead within 6 weeks. Surrounded by doctors and full of medicine. I lost my faith and respect for the medical profession. My family knows all of this, so they let me be. So far, so good.

Sorry to rant - this is one of my pet peeves, obviously. When I saw the hell doctors put my daughter through just because she was pregnant, I knew things were even more screwed up than I'd thought. They kept her in utter fear for 9 months, 3 times. She couldn't take an asperin for a headache, once took a sip of beer and was certain she'd caused her unborn child to be retarded or some other major disability - Endless tests that she was always terrified to hear the results of - oh, it made me sick to my stomach. And the kids are all a bit sickly - I'm not the least surprised with those horrifying pregnancies, always searching her for something wrong and threatening her with lists of ALL of the things she couldn't do. Now that's what they want to do with all of us, all of our lives - search and search for something wrong and threaten us if we don't agree to go along with it. All in the name of good health, and none of us are that healthy - not nearly as healthy as the rest of, at least, the Western world is. Spain, where I spent a week in September, is 4th in the world in low infant mortality - we're 49th. That's how much good all that fear mongering does.

Leave yourself alone. Go to the doctor if you have something wrong with you. There's no need for them otherwise.

Well, Bunny, you posted that initial post for a reason -- a reason only you know. I am sympathetic with your general feelings, but my point was that they can be carried to an extreme. If my mother had had colonoscopies, she would still be here with us, and I sure wish she were. Btw, the main reason any of our healthcare statistics are poorer than some is because of inner-city poverty with poor health behaviors in many different ways. Compare middle class to middle class and this nation is probably at or near the top of any ranking.

Fwiw, here is what I thought after signing off yesterday -- maybe you could do one test every six or 12 months, starting with whatever a doctor you trust (??) thinks is the greatest vulnerability. What do you think? I am afraid that our healthcare of the future will be like your nightmare descriptions -- batteries of tests, with one standard course of treatment no matter what, little to no knowledge of the individual patient and her (or his) physical idiosyncrasies. One thing I agree with you on powerfully is that we know our own bodies better than even the best doctors -- we're in 'em pretty regularly. The good doctors get it, when you start telling them things. How many of those will be left if the profession becomes another branch of the civil service, I wonder.

I agree with Michael that you cannot compare healthcare statistics among different classes in different countries. The poorest people in France have much more healthcare than the poorest people here. But people in France also get tested for everything, due to their national healthcare.

You seem to have been cursed by some crappy doctors, that's for sure. But...... when you know you have high BP and seek out medication on your own as you said you have been doing, you obviously think that high BP med is what you need. So why not see a doctor who can prescribe it?

As for today's young pregnant women, much of what the doctors put them through can be blamed entirely on their fear of being sued. I do not know which is worse....the litigious nature of patients OR the restrictions put on pregnant women.

Delaware is a small state with only 3 counties, but one of those counties does not have even one obstetrician - there is such a shortage of OBs due to their obscenely high malpractice insurance.

I do not understand the connection between the sickly kids and what the doctors did during a pregnancy. Enlighten me. Laura just went through a pregnancy with all those same restrictions, probably more, but it was a happy time, not full of fear. She did not drink caffeine or alcohol, eat cold cuts, and several other things..... Maybe your daughter's doctors were extremists.

I think you should try to find a doctor you like and trust even if it means visiting a few...look upon it as research. Doesn't your son know some doctors he trusts?

I really don't want to get into an argument about this, but I am thinking about our discussion (and thinking about what I'm going to do about it :)) and I appreciate the input very much. Of course I treat my high blood pressure, JoAnn, as I would treat anything that was wrong with me. I'm not anti treating illness. I'm anti treating non illness and spending my time searching for something wrong with me.

This timely article cropped up in the LA Times today : Birth weights fall in U.S., study finds: Quote from middle of article: "An even more dramatic decline was seen among a subset of women at low risk for small babies (women who were educated, married, white, didn't smoke, had early prenatal care and had vaginal deliveries with no complications." The article says no one knows why this is happening (I do!) but smaller babies tend to be sicker babies and sicker adults. They did correlate ceasarean births to lower birth weights - all of my healthy daughter's babies were delivered ceasacean - doctor's choice, I guess.

2. Spain has a large and poor immigrant population.

3. I saw well dressed pregnant women in Spain who were smoking and drinking wine. They probably got to take an asperin when they had a headache, too. And they're having healthy babies. I don't know what this means, but, to me, it's food for thought.

Michael's suggestion of spacing the tests is pretty good :)

Oooops, it's pouring again!

Spain may have a large poor and immigrant population, but they also have a state health care system, like France.

I have a friend who lives in France. She had tinnitus (ringing in the ear) so she went to the doctor. She was immediately sent for an EEG, a CAT scan of her brain, allergy tests, and about ten other tests. They tried nothing else first. She said this is common practice!

I think the low birth weight can be directly correlated to the obsession young women have with their weight. It is an epidemic. I know of two young women (whom I have always suspected had eating disorders) who put wii fitness videos on their baby shower registries!!! I also know so many young women who, for reasons of their own convenience, have insisted on ceasareans. ....but I do not really think that a couple of days makes that much difference in birth weight.

I must admit to feeling a bit snarky when it comes to all these tests and articles about getting such tests that assault us everyday via the media. I know they are being shown for a very good reason but I still feel a slight annoyance.
However,I do force myself to call for and then put one foot in front of the other for the annual gyn visit,the mammogram and go to the primary if a cold turns into a sinus infection.
The reason for my "snarkyness" is that I hate the concept of this doctoring and how it relates to getting older!
I did lots and lots of driving to doctors and tests and hospitals during my parent's 11 year journey to the end. My mother drank like a college boy for most of her life and in her 80's blew out her colon and had to have a colostomy. She bitched and moaned as much the last day of her life about it as she did the first day she had it. I often would say to myself that I wished she would just shut the you know what up. Now I fear if I have a colonoscopy they will find something and I will end up like my mother. Call it a post colostomy stress thing! So I keep procrastinating.....

R. wrote: "I must admit to feeling a bit snarky when it comes to all these tests and articles about getting such tests that assault us everyday via the media. I know they are being shown for a very good rea..."

My mother took years to die, too, and I think she enjoyed it thoroughly :) Martyrdom always suited her style. All of the people who have died in my life were under constant medical care for years, tortured to the end. They all died too young, too, except for my husband's parents, who just suffered and suffered for five years of misery before they died of old age. None of it looks good to me :( No one's set a good example for me for how to grow old gracefully and peacefully and die easily. Sigh.

Anyway, while I'm feeling good, I'd better go to the market, or no one will get a home cooked meal around here this week.

Death does not look good to anyone, methinks. But sometimes it can be staved off. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer (by the very first mammograms ever) at age 44. She had a radical mastectomy and no further treatment. Nothing!!!

Twelve years later, the cancer spread to her lungs and then to her bones. She went through a year of chemo which was pretty bad at times, and died a year after that.

But she had 12 great years after the mastectomy. Had she not had it she would have died 10 years sooner.

R. wrote: "Now I fear if I have a colonoscopy they will find something and I will end up like my mother. Call it a post colostomy stress thing! So I keep procrastinating....."

But the reality, R honey, is that after you have the colonoscopy, you will probably feel tremendous relief. The surgeon will remove any polyps that could one day turn into cancer. Or you will get an entirely clean report and feel even better. In the unlikely event that he does find something cancerous, you will have caught it sooner than procrastination would allow, and put the odds in your favor. Please listen to this reasonable viewpoint and call your doctor today for a referral, and make that appointment. You, too, Bunny! And then we can all compare notes on that amazing anesthesia they give you.

Michael wrote: "And then we can all compare notes on that amazing anesthesia they give you."

I could LIVE on that anesthesia given during a colonoscopy! Wow, what a great feeling...with no memory of what was done. I have had that same anesthesia a few times and am always amazed.

The only bad thing about the colonoscopies is the night before! The anesthesia almost makes up for it. But it is a great relief knowing all is OK.

I had a friend who died of colon cancer at a much too young age- and she was married to an internist who had no idea why her stomach was giving her so much trouble. YOU NEED THE TEST!

I am tired of seeing snow, watching it snow, hearing about snow, worrying, and wondering when things will ever get back to normal. We had 26 inches over the weekend, 6 inches last night, and expect up to 18 inches today. Sue and her area may be prepared for this, but in our part of the country, this is bizarre.

Poor Laura and Ken are even worse off than we are. They live in a lovely neighborhood, but it is in the city and there is nowhere to put the snow. So the city decided not to plow their streets. (I think they should have a taxpayers' revolt). So the homeowners' association made an executive decision and on Monday hired a private contractor to plow the streets..... cost was $20,000 !!!! And after the streets were plowed, all of the homeowners had to shovel their cars out since the plow snowed them in. And now they are going to have to hire this contractor again! EGADS.

The utility company there is not answering its phones so Ken and another neighbor bought a chain saw and are cutting down branches that are threatening power lines.

Bob has used our snowblower so many times - fortunately we have a short driveway. We live on a private street and the guy who does our plowing has kept on top of things. He was out here with a Bobcat at midnight on Saturday, minutes after the snow ended, pushing the snow onto lawns.

Fortunately I went to the grocery store on Sunday and the shelves were pretty well-stocked. Laura's grocery store did not have any bread yesterday! So I was lucky. I also got my hair cut yesterday and went to the library. I am getting a lot of chores done in the house too, but being "trapped" with my husband is making me crazy. Thank goodness this house has three levels and I can escape.

If we lose our power, we will have to get to my sister's house - she has a generator. This wet snow is the kind that tears off limbs and wreaks havor with power sources. Not only that, but the winds are so high that the snow is blowing sideways, so visibility is nil.

The entire state of Delaware is shut down today. No one is allowed on the roads (we do everything in Delaware except live there) or you will get a citation.

We lose our power here in South Jersey a bunch so I am keeping my fingers crossed. So far the snow does not seem to be as much as the 24 inches or so we had on Saturday but we do have hours to go...maybe 6 more before it stops. All the schools are posting closings for tomorrow already. Hubby had to go out in the jeep after he shoveled and cleaned out the gutters but that was this morning...
We did not get mail on Saturday. That is the first time I think that ever happened.
In 2 months I will be in Florida to go on our cruise. My passport came today!Needless to say,I can't wait!

What did hubby clear out of the gutters?

I once had that gutter/ice thing happen --- melting water poured through the windows into my house. I mean, it came right through the window framing. What a nightmare. My husband had already moved to our new location and I was home alone with an 18 month old with the house on the market. Ye gods, I still remember how upset I was and what mess it was.

What did hubby clear out of the gutters?


snow and ice as we did have a tiny leak at a window under there on Saturday night!

R. wrote: "What did hubby clear out of the gutters?


snow and ice as we did have a tiny leak at a window under there on Saturday night!"

I was so freaked out by what happened when we had that "ice dam" (I remembered what it was called) that when we built our next house we had heated gutters put in.

JoAnn/QuAppelle wrote: "that when we built our next house we had heated gutters put in. ..."

The things they think of! I've never heard of such a thing. You've got me wondering if somewhere there are heated highways, dreamed of when we lived in the icy Dakotas. *sigh*

deborah

madrano wrote: "JoAnn/QuAppelle wrote: "that when we built our next house we had heated gutters put in. ..."

The things they think of! I've never heard of such a thing. You've got me wondering if somewhere there are heated highways, dreamed of when we lived in the icy Dakotas..."

Deborah, part of the DC Beltway is the infamous "mixing bowl" where Interstates 95, 395 and 495 come together. It was recently rebuilt with VERY high flyover ramps. Apparently they considered putting in heating elements to keep the ramps from icing over, but did not do so to cut costs. And people have gotten stuck on those high ramps for hours, when we do get ice. Brrrrrr. That was not an issue in our recent storms, which have been snow rather than ice.

Sarah, the 695/95 intersection near Baltimore was just rebuilt and it has one of those incredibly high "flyover" ramps (I did not know that was what they are called). I find it scary to look at, let alone drive on. Being trapped on one of those is my idea of hell.

Deborah, I lived in Pittsburgh in the early 70s and our neighborhood, like most of the area, was very hilly. Many people on our street had heated driveways.

Sarah, thanks for that info. It's the price which would concern me. Still those high crossovers & ramps are frightening even in "merely" rain.

Again, i had no idea, JoAnn. Heated driveways. The cost! But worth the convenience.

It snowed all day here but didn't begin sticking until 4 PM or so. Then it continued until past my bedtime of 1 AM. It looks as though we have a 6" accumulation This is headed east, btw.

We leave at 10 for San Antonio to help in-laws move into an apartment. No snow there. However, i've enjoyed watching it fall & amass. I'm sorry i'll miss the melting.

deborah

I've seen people in NYC put in heated sidewalks. Then you don't have to worry about someone falling on ice and getting sued.

Great idea! I say this since the last time i fell it was on a city sidewalk.:-) However, it was in Portland, where they don't get enough snow to warrant the expense.

deborah

Hey you people out on the east coast--I think you're getting all of our snow!! I'm in Utah and we usually get tons, but not this year. I don't think it has really snowed good since the beginning of January.

Lori wrote: "Hey you people out on the east coast--I think you're getting all of our snow!! I'm in Utah and we usually get tons, but not this year. .."

I think we got yours, New Hampshire's Vermont's, etc.

Where in Utah are you located, Lori? Do you know Shauna?

Never heard of heated gutters or driveways, but it makes sense. The one luxury I would love to have are heated bathroom floors! I see them put in all the time on HGTV. Ah, how wonderful that would be!

I remember reading years ago that Jackie Onassis had heated TOWEL RACKS. Boy, I thought, those rich people are really quirky. Now I see them on TV more and more.

Right now, I'd just like to see green grass in my front yard ...........no SNOW! It has now been 2 weeks since I've left the house.

Donna
more snow expected tonight

We had heated flooring when we lived in ND. It was a brilliant investment our landlady made. We've felt colder here in the Texas house than we ever did in North Dakota!

deborah

To off topic, i know e'one couldn't stand the cold n snow all, but here where I live the weather has reached 36C and it is so hot. Left the hse for the weekend n when we came back grass n plants had
turned yellow. We r expecting water cut in some areas as the dam level is getting lower. For several days now, I bathed even without using the water heater bcos it is just so
hot. The electric bill is gonna shoot up this month since the air con is running constantly in every room.

Leo, it sounds as though Malaysia could use some of our moisture. To be fair, Texas is still emerging from a 9 year drought and i believe the southeast of the US also had drought conditions for several recent years.

None of this makes the heat any easier for you, though. I hope you can keep comfortable for less expense somehow. Thanks for the reminder that there are fortunate aspects of our woes.

deborah

I am still dealing with smeary-ness in the eye on which I had cataract surgery. It has now been six weeks and I am tired of dealing with this and being unable to have the other eye done. Very frustrating.

I went to see a highly regarded retinal specialist yesterday and I did not like him at all. He was very flippant and trivialized my situation.

I am trying to formulate a plan for what to do next. I think a visit to Wills Eye Hospital in Philadelphia is in my future.

Bob and I are at the beach for the next week or so. We do not have "Charlie care" next week because his other grandparents are visiting, so we thought we would take advantage of the break and come down to the beach. I cannot tell you how weird it is to see the mountains of snow along the sides of the road. Many roads and streets are a mess....the entire huge county only has four plows. And no salt.

Anyway, I am relaxing, seeing friends, relaxing, reading, knitting, relaxing, shopping.....and did I mention relaxing? LOL

JoAnn/QuAppelle wrote: "I am still dealing with smeary-ness in the eye on which I had cataract surgery. It has now been six weeks and I am tired of dealing with this and being unable to have the other eye done. Very frust..."

So sorry to read that you're still not fully recovered after your cataract surgery, JoAnn. That must be very worrying. Shame on that eye specialist for trivializing your problem. That should never happen.

We actually had several inches of snow here in Summerville, SC last week. It's the first we've had since we moved here almost ten years ago. The kids loved it! And it was basically all gone by the next evening, except for the stumps of many snowmen.

Carolyn, I read that 49 states had snow one day last week. Incredible.

One year ago, yesterday my father passed away. He was 71 with no major illness except for gout.
I hardly dream when I sleep but I had one http://cryleo30.blogspot.com/2009/05/... .... of him about 2 months after his passing which I remember vividly as if he was there talking to me.
I owe my passion for reading to my father. I was initially forced to spell and read comics. And read I did -grudgingly (at first). While my father's method was kinda rough in today's standard; I was more like a private and he's the army general but it was effective. I was seven and we were living in a very rural, remote army camp in Borneo. Changes of getting good books or any books for that matter were so rare. My father used to bought me books from the city in Peninsular Msia whenever he went there. Not many, maybe two the most for each my brother and me and I would read the books cover to cover many, many times for months up to a year before I can ever get the chance to read any new ones. Bcos of that I treasure each precious words from the books I read.
Thank you for the gift of reading abah. I miss you.

Leo, i am sorry for your loss and know you must still feel it deeply. Your pleasure in reading is a daily remembrance of him, a way of honoring his appreciation for books, too. Take care.

deborah

Leo, thanks for sharing your memories of your father. I understand, as I was very close to my father, who has been gone since 1997. He started me reading the newspaper with him every day when I was about 8 or 9. We always discussed the articles. I still find myself - just for a second - wanting to turn to him and say : "Did you read this?"

As time goes by, the pain of his loss will ease, and the good memories will be your comfort.

I also have an active dream life, and I do believe I have seen him there quite a few time. Just about a week ago, he appeared in a dream, gave me a big hug, said "Hang in there girl," and was gone. I did wake up comforted.

Donna in Southern Maryland

I remember the first time I read, and it was the comics, Prince Valiant which I looked at every week. Then, one Sunday, I realized I was reading it! Absolutely marvelous - I don't know how old I was, maybe 6ish, but I really don't know. Great thing, though :)

madrano wrote: "Leo, i am sorry for your loss and know you must still feel it deeply. Your pleasure in reading is a daily remembrance of him, a way of honoring his appreciation for books, too. Take care.

deborah"
especially now everytime when I encountered a good book, my thoughts wil alwiz go to him. I remembered once, when my mom lectured me for emptying my pocket money savings just bcos I want to be able to buy books for my semester break n she actually directed it to my dad as if saying 'u've created a monster lol

Donna in Southern Maryland wrote: "Leo, thanks for sharing your memories of your father. I understand, as I was very close to my father, who has been gone since 1997. He started me reading the newspaper with him every day when I was..."

have you seen this - I've encountered similar incident when I first learnt about a much awaited promotion n I immediately dialled my dad's mobile phone to share the good news and my mom answered the phone ...I forgot that he's gone :((

Bunny wrote: "I remember the first time I read, and it was the comics, Prince Valiant which I looked at every week. Then, one Sunday, I realized I was reading it! Absolutely marvelous - I don't know how old I ..."

Mine was a local comic called Jerung: translate Jaws. God, how I hated it then. My dad made me read it every night after dinner so he can checked on my spelling progress. I can almost memorize every word by heart. This use to be a family joke during gathering bcos I would teased my dad on how he 'tortured' me into reading ... I wouldn't want it any other way

Leo wrote: "Donna in Southern Maryland wrote: "Leo, thanks for sharing your memories of your father. I understand, as I was very close to my father, who has been gone since 1997. He started me reading the news..."

Yes, in the beginning, I WOULD reach for the phone to call him. It's a hard habit to break. I have just told myself that he's always still with me, and sometimes, I just talk to him out loud! My husband is used to it, and sometimes do it to. Daddy's grave is on the way to the airport - I always tell him goodbye and ask him to help with safe travels going, and say hello when we get back. Yes, I admit to being a little crazy.....:o)

Donna

Leo wrote: "have you seen this - I've encountered similar incident when I first learnt about a much awaited promotion n I immediately dialled my dad's mobile phone to share the good news and my mom answered the phone ...I forgot that he's gone :((..."

First of all, congratulations on the promotion!

Something similar happened to me recently. Let me preface this by saying my mother has been dead for 23 years. However, when i was going finding the speed dial number for a friend, i was struck by one which read, "Mom". My first thought was, "Oh, i can call her?" LOL! Then, faster than i can express it, i realized it was my MIL & DH had entered it in the system. Still, after all these years the yearning continues!

deborah

madrano wrote: "Let me preface this by saying my mother has been dead for 23 years. However, when i was going finding the speed dial number for a friend, i was struck by one which read, "Mom". My first thought was, "Oh, i can call her?" LOL! Then, faster than i can express it, i realized it was my MIL & DH had entered it in the system. Still, after all these years the yearning continues!"

What a sweet story!

My mother has been gone for 23 years also, Deborah. And not a day goes by that I do not want to call her

I understand. We are fortunate that my dad is alive & fairly healthy. And i'm lucky that i can see my family as desired, too.

deborah