The US - Germany Connection discussion

Yvette is my favorite so far and I find Little Bee as entertaining as Yvette does, in a subdued, serious way. Sarah's character is a little bothersome to me, as she seems to be rather void of much emotion, both during the time of her husband's death and while they were married. But I'm only on p 100 so i'm not sure if their marriage more emotional than I think.

ALL of those quotes are exactly what is bothering me about her. I'm trying to be more understanding of her, trying to see some redeeming value to her personality!
Unfortunately the book is taking a turn I don't like.. the relationship between Lawrence and Little Bee... It seems rather unlikely that they would be discussing such intimate details upon just being introduced to each other. Not sure yet why this has to happen in the course of the story but I guess I'll find out..

I'm on pg. 128.
I can't bring myself to judge Sarah after hearing about what happened in Africa. There, she was the one who had the strength and perspective to sacrifice herself for the girls when her husband couldn't. I don't see her drinking and depression as being related to self-pity. I think it is brought on by feeling powerless to be able to help when she knows what is going on in Africa. I don't know what I would do in her situation- I'd like to think I could make that sacrifice for someone else, but I don't think we ever really know what we would do unless we actually have to do it. And then, think about how we all felt after reading the Blue Notebook- I know I felt powerless. I think Sarah feels that way, but it's much worse because she actually saw firsthand and experienced a little bit of what is going on in Africa. And she's made donations, just like we did after Blue Notebook, but does it ever feel like enough? Sure she could do more, but she has a child and responsibilities. I do not see her as being self-indulgent and having a lack of emotion for others. I think it's overwhelming emotion for others that is incapacitating her. The problem is that she's not seeking help to deal with it. If anyone is self-indulgent and has lack of emotion for others, it's Andrew. He couldn't put Little Bee and Kindness before himself in Africa, and his solution to dealing with the aftermath is to kill himself, which leaves his child without a father. He puts himself before his own child and can't find the courage to even face life.

I agree with you about Andrew. Anywone who commits suicide is selfish, as well as mentally unstable. That being said however, I had this nagging feeling that Andrew took his own life for a reason Sarah didn't know about (and actually still do). I feel like she didn't know Andrew at all so why would she know why he killed himself? Even as Little Bee told the story to Lawrence I still wondered just how much of Andrew Sarah knew.
Which brings me to my main dislike of Sarah.. I feel very early on she was capitvated by Andrew's conviction and obstinance and that's why she married him (she like the strength he showed in getting fired). But after he failed to show the same strength in Nigeria, she made him pay. She was SO disappointed in his decision and that she was the one who had to stick up for those girls. Not only could she not stand by his decision but years later she would not even try to understand him. Granted, I have no idea what I would do in that situation or how I would feel about my husband if that was his decision. She admired his strength of character but not then. I found there to be a strange sort of dichotomy in her not being able to eventually come around to some sort of acceptance of his decision. Agreed, she needed to seek help after the incident rather than repress all emotions relating to it.

I am not quite finished but am anxious to finish. I am dreaming of Little Bee at night. I love her. Her wholesome practicality is so endearing and she is solid and smart and funny without meaning to be and open and honest and loving. The how would I kill myself in this situation is devoid of any selp-pity and just a realistic, no-nonense practical concern that does not overwhelm or define her.
I was glad to read the comments concerning Sarah, as I too struggled with liking her and trying to understand her motivations. Early on in the reading...she said that Andrew was so big in her life that he dwarfed the ocean...two thirds of the surface of the earth and then a few pages later I was reading that she was having an affair and that she knew, as Suzanne mentioned, within a month that he wasn't the one....I was very confused by all of that and kind of still am about the Andrew/Sarah relationship. I have yet to get a complete picture of Andrew although I felt more compassion towards him than Sarah for several reasons, the affair only being one of them.
Then I tried to conclude that Sarah was someone who just did things without thinking about them very much...the affair, the trip the Nigeria, cutting off her finger...but the one and only time she had to think about something it was when Little Bee, after displaying such a capacity to help both her and Charlie said that they should be together and help one another and wait....Sarah had to think about it???
I don't think, like you mentioned Elizabeth that Sarah feels overwhelmed by what little she can do to help....that is something I think you might feel in your efforts to make the world a better place : ) but I don't get that from Sarah....I even saw her cutting her finger as a disjointed, almost selfish act and did not see it as the rescue of Little Bee or her sister until I read it again.
I think Sarah is someone who needs to FEEL and that is why she had the affair...to feel...perhaps that is why she unlike Andrew could feel the excruciating pain of cutting off her finger...the only consistent feelings she has are for Charlie...the feelings of motherhood. As I said I am not finished yet so...everything is still unsettled.
I very much enjoyed Yvette and her actions and her accent and was sorry to leave her behind.
I felt the tragedy at the beach in Nigeria was a little unbelievable...why would men who were determined to kill every single man, woman and child who might be a witness play games and agree to sacrifice a witness for a white persons finger? I think I am finding that authors do things and books have things in them that may not make logical, rational, character driven sense but they propel the story and the characters forward. This tragedy I believe, for Sarah and Andrew shed light on how seperate they were from one another. I saw Sarah as being seperate and apart from what was going on and even though Andrew was seemingly not willing to sacrifice his finger he was actively in the action by himself, without Sarah. I think this too may be why Sarah needs the "feelings" so that she can feel a part of something.
Ellen's comment about not liking Sarah got me thinking... liking someone is almost as incomprehensible or illogical as loving someone...How many people do you meet...that you truly, deep down like??? For whatever reason?

I just got finished my walk and was thinking about something I was trying to say at The Little Bee discussion but couldn't find the right words. When a character, like Sarah is unclear and their motivations are hard to understand...it seems like a character flaw when actually sometimes I think it may be a flaw in the writing. It would be nearly impossible to find out if Chris Cleeve made Sarah so unclear on purpose or because he wasn't as clear about her as say he was about Yvette or Little Bee. It is probably more often than not intentional that a character not be clearly knowable or definable but sometimes I think it just happens due to nothing not even the writing being perfect and 100% whole.