--love----to---write discussion

ok, first of all, please put an enter between who is talking cause with all of it in one solid paragraph its very hard to figure out who is talking, where does one person start and another begin especially when you have two sets of quotations right next to each other. thats very hard. and also, were they like at a sleep over or something? and what movie? you need to have more details. you can make it mysterious and still have a lot of details. right now, its like you have a skeleton of the first chapter, basically a bunch of bones. so now you need to add in the guts of the chapter! i know weird analogy but it is the only thing i can think of right now. but don't fill it with fluff. fluff is like just saying ally is a girly girl. she is also a shopping girl. ally is very girly. thats fluff. don't do that. so bulk up your writing!