Writers Row discussion

Put feedback here, with the story name above it with the person that wrote it. Please don't write on people's writing topics.

World's Fate by Aviva
I really like your story.

:::)

Navy by Eh
I like it! I didn't know you were a poet, E!

…kay. why aren't you supposed to like it?

hmm. I guess…

Desperation - Eh

Cool! Very good, very fast. Makes me want to read more about why, who and what.

Caitlyn's twisted writing.
I love it all. Very…I don't know. very wonderful

ditto

Eh wrote: "Then the Rain Comes

Really does have an Indian feel. But... there is one thing that irks me mythology-wise: Buddha is a separate religion from the Hindu."

i realize this. i just pulled a load of gods out of my arse. i hadn't realized... are krishna and shiva both hindu?

yes. we just studied that in social studies.

Aviva (Dra•ja) wrote: "Caitlyn's twisted writing.
I love it all. Very…I don't know. very wonderful"

Thanks! It's very... out of it. it's inspired mostly by Geroge Harrison and my bestest friend ever Cullen (Cullen's got these eyes, they are sooo beautiful, they look exactly like george harrisons!) I love all of Eh's stuff, it's MARVELOUS, doll!

GH! wut about John Lennon? AND RINGO!!!
but would anyone give feedback on this?
for my story I have a prologue that was just: I saw it coming. The blackness creeping into my vision, the ice coming up to meet me. I tried to fight it, I did.

I lost.

But now I'm thinking about adding stuff so it'd be this: I saw it coming. The blackness creeping into my vision, the ice coming up to meet me. I tried to fight it, I did.

I lost.


“Whoa.”
“Amazing.”
“How is she alive?”
“Maybe the same way we are.”
“Let’s get her back.”
Four bodies walk through an air barrier and pick up another before hurrying back the way they came.


“Now why did you come?” a young male voice asks. “All of you?”
Another male answers. “The war for me. Practically everyone that I knew there is dead. This was the only place I could go.”
Now a female. “The Service.” Those two words were all that needed to be said.


A querl gets off a ship on Kyfi and quickly gets out, telling the pilot to wait. He scampers along an overgrown path to a small hut and steps inside. He stops right in the opening before scuttling back to the ship. “Vlavo,” he says.
anyone?

EXCELLENCE! and ringo's eyes r beautiful 2, but i loove georges brown ones!

Aviva (Dra•ja) wrote: "GH! wut about John Lennon? AND RINGO!!!
but would anyone give feedback on this?
for my story I have a prologue that was just: I saw it coming. The blackness creeping into my vision, the ice coming..."

That sound great!

Sister Grimm wrote: "Aviva (Dra•ja) wrote: "GH! wut about John Lennon? AND RINGO!!!
but would anyone give feedback on this?
for my story I have a prologue that was just: I saw it coming. The blackness creeping into my..."

thnx! then you like the longer one?

Yes, definately!

BOOYA

Yays for Aviva's amazing prologue!

*grin*

*happy dancing time!*

You know the dance George Harrison does in the video for 'Blow Away'?

It starts at about 0:57. We should do that dance.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ddnRtF...

we should do it as a happy dance!

…lol

hehe

that would be funny

Love your poetry EH:)

Eh wrote: "Keany's Fanfic
I can't be a fair judge because I read some of the EU."

Is that talking to me? I'm sorry because I don't understand what EU means.:/

Eh, I love the poem that is last right now... It may be Desperation, it's the one that goes shaa-shaa.

Welcomes ;) It's rather abstract, I like it!

Thanks:)
I have my own whole alt reality:P
I wanted to make it books about it actully:D

Catlyn I love your poems, "Eyes" and "I love her"
There very good to me:)

Aviva your poem "If Only" keeps running threw my head...it was rally good.

thnx!

Not trying to be pushy but could someone when they have time read some of my work and tell me what they think?

Rain by Eh
lovely. very good.

sorry keamy thought i did.i was pretty sure i did. weird
the star wars thing by keamy-sarah
odd but cool. i never really wanted to read after the movies, but its good

Your stuff is alright, Keamy, but it's rather juvenile... Don't take that the wrong way, because it could be amazing, but you need A.) More original ideas, and B.) Work on the smoothness of it all. It's chinky, and sounds a bit young-ish.

wow. just wow. and ac is one of the fun classes.

Aviva (the second Beatlemaniac) wrote: "sorry keamy thought i did.i was pretty sure i did. weird
the star wars thing by keamy-sarah
odd but cool. i never really wanted to read after the movies, but its good"

lol I have a whole book series idea but that was just for kicks:)

Incurable Beatlemaniac wrote: "Your stuff is alright, Keamy, but it's rather juvenile... Don't take that the wrong way, because it could be amazing, but you need A.) More original ideas, and B.) Work on the smoothness of it all...."
Don't feel bad:) I'm still new in writeing and some of it was writen about 3 or 4 years ago:)
I need honest people thanks:D

Keamy-Sarah wrote: "Incurable Beatlemaniac wrote: "Your stuff is alright, Keamy, but it's rather juvenile... Don't take that the wrong way, because it could be amazing, but you need A.) More original ideas, and B.) Wo..."

now i dont feel quite so mean ;)

Incurable Beatlemaniac wrote: "Keamy-Sarah wrote: "Incurable Beatlemaniac wrote: "Your stuff is alright, Keamy, but it's rather juvenile... Don't take that the wrong way, because it could be amazing, but you need A.) More origin..."

You aren't:)
But another thing unrelated is that I've learned on my own is it has to hurt and is supposed to hurt not a lot but a little so you learn and do better:D

Oh, good. Everyone nowadays is so sensitive, you can't hardly say a thing without ofending somebody!

People Watching 1-IB
Awesome. it sounds sort of like a poem, but not.

Thxx!

:D