† Saved by Grace † discussion

This is a discussion where I thought we could tell all our views on dating and discuss it :)

I think dating should be saved for when you're ready to be married - I don't think it needs to happen before that point because our single years are the years where we can best focus on God, and unless we're looking for a possible spouse there is no point (and this is just my view; I realize not everyone will share it) in dating all these different people.

A great book to read on this subject is: "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" - http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/10...

One of my friend is engaged to be married. Her fiance and her didn't date until they were engaged. I think that's a really neat idea.

Yeah, that's really cool! My friend who got married in June didn't date at all.

I don't know if I'm completely AGAINST dating…I mean, I do think it's really dumb to be like, "Ooh, cute guy! Let's go to prom! Next week I'll dump you and neither of us will really care!"

But at the same time, it's not like I see someone walk by and immediately know he's my future husband. He can't just drop on one knee like, "Sandy! Marry me!"

…cuz if anyone ever does that, I'll laugh in his face and walk away. :D

But what I'm saying is, in some cases dating is necessary unless you want to marry a total stranger. It doesn't mean you have to go walk in the park alone while the sun is setting and hold hands, or kiss when he walks you home (>.<), but obviously if you're considering someone as a future spouse, you'll want to spend time with them.

…cuz if anyone ever does that, I'll laugh in his face and walk away. :D

*dies laughing*

Well, to me love between a girl and a guy can wait for as long as it wants....I personally don't like boys to much to unsensitive and romance isn't for me...but I do have a crush on one guy....but I always know that God is writing my story and my life.

Exactly - He's writing our stories :)

I believe in courtship, actually :) Like you said, Sandy, obviously you can't just marry someone you know nothing about.

Raven wrote: "Exactly - He's writing our stories :)

I believe in courtship, actually :) Like you said, Sandy, obviously you can't just marry someone you know nothing about."

Agreed. That's the best course of action because it allows both of you to get to know one another without risking the possibility of getting hurt.

I've learned that lesson the hard way.

Right - I agree.

My intentions were honorable but I made a lot of mistakes that I can't take back now. It sucks.

I bet :/

Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship

There's another book for dating. Changed the way I thought about things.

Ah... well that always helps.

David wrote: "Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship

There's another book for dating. Changed the way I thought about things."

I've read part of that and the parts I read were awesome :)

I highly recommend it.

I just read a book called Before You Meet Prince Charming: A Guide to Radiant Purity. It's aimed mainly at younger girls but it was good nevertheless. I also like So Much More, as previously mentioned. I still have yet to get my hands on to Boy Meets Girl, but I really want to read it. :)

Oh, yeah, Pansy, I have that first book you mentioned and I've read some of it - I recommend it to any girls in this group :)

Hmmmm . . . never read So Much More - I'll have to try to. Aaaaaaand Boy Meets Girl, because judging by how awesome "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" is . . . yeah. I'm just gonna guess his other book is awesome too x)

You should date when you think it's the right man to be with, your whole life. I think you shouldn't kiss when you date, only when you get married. Cause then their is the guy that says "NOW you may kiss the bride" See the NOW, yeah... (;

So I was about to click "like" on your comment…too much facebook for me :D

Sandy wrote: "So I was about to click "like" on your comment…too much facebook for me :D"
lol

Laura♥ wrote: "You should date when you think it's the right man to be with, your whole life. I think you shouldn't kiss when you date, only when you get married. Cause then their is the guy that says "NOW you m..."

TOTALLY agree, Laura :)

Sandy wrote: "So I was about to click "like" on your comment…too much facebook for me :D"

haha, I've been saying we need a like option on here.

I agree with what people have already said, the purpose of dating is marriage. If your not ready to get married, your not ready to date.
But I think the term 'dating' has come to mean alot of things. You can call it 'courting' if you want, but really, isn't it all the same thing? It just makes a difference how you define it.

Question: I read I Kissed Dating Goodbye a while ago, didn't the author (of Boy meets Girl, also) get divorced? I haven't looked into it, I might have heard wrong. But if that's true, it's not very encouraging...

WHAT?!?!?! AAAUUUUUGGGHHHH!!! NO!!!

Haha I actually have no idea if that's true. But it's…just…so…wow.

http://www.joshharris.com/2009/07/jos...

Sandy wrote: "http://www.joshharris.com/2009/07/jos..."

Well, that's good to know. :)

I was actually Skyping when I read your comment, so I was like, "WHAT? is this true?" And Raven found the link :)

I'm really going to have to check things like that out, in the future. I've got to go back and retract a few things I said to a few people, now....

Wow that is kind of frustrating to have so much faith in that book...

My opnion on dating is if your ready. don't do it until you've met the right guy and you are willing to get to know them because you think and can picture yourself marrying the guy. Don't date because you think someone's cute because there are a lot of cute people out there. What's hawt on the outside might not be so hawt on the inside. And i think you shouldn't date until your ready (and when I mean your ready I mean when your at least in high school :P) Because in your younger years who dont know any better...when i was in middle school I was just facinated by the idea of love and dating. But now that I've begun to think about it, all those empty crushes were wasted in my thoughts because now I look back and think "wow I liked him.." or "wow i was gonna date him"
word of advice: date him if he is generally goof for you...dont date him if he's cute and thats all u know abt him. I usually try to become friends with the person and then find out if he liks me for more than that. But I've had a tough time with that. it's kind of hard getting out of the friend stage. u know that awkward part of dating when its just a couple of dates you had but your trying to act all perfect but no one is except for Him and its just not really you? Skip it. Act yourself not a fake identity. If your dating him, you dont want to pretend to be someone your not and end up marrying him and doing that the rest of your life. NO WAY!!

I read the previous opinions and personally this is the stage of finding love: (but is different for everyone; this is just in general)

1. Get to know him better (talk, get the guys #)
2. Try acting more flirty and like he's cute (compliment him more than usual)
3. Wait til he asks you out...if he doesn't ask him. Ignore the "rules" of the male asks the female out always. thats a load of crap. Be the strong independent woman and ask him. If he turns you down, he was never rite for u in the first place. (Dont cry abt it. He doesnt deserve you than. You'll find the one. God gave everyone a spouse. You just gotta keep looking. It's okay to be sad, but dont let it get your mood down. Pray abt it.)
4. Get to know him more inside and better. If your not impressed, leave him.
5. Talk a little more abt your relationship and pray everything will turn out fine. Say those three words every person wants to hear in their life (I luv u)
6. Wait for that special moment when he hugs, kisses, or says it back to u.
7. Get more serious with him abt your relationship. Dont let him blind u. Look for him being in your future. See him as the husbandly figure.
8. Wait. Theres always enough time to marry. Dont rush into it. Love is special and patient.
9. Marry when older and your mentally ready.
10. Have a good life together. Always tell each other once in a while that u love one another even though u already know that u both do. Its nice to hear those words after a stressful day at work.

This is gonna be a personal thing between you and God and what He has planned for you but I don't think you should necessarily write off dating. Or even wait to date for the sole purpose of marriage. I've been with my bf for almost 6 years now and I have no idea if we'll ever get married. I frankly don't care one way or the other. But he has been my best friend for that time, knows me better than anyone else, has stuck with me through a LOT, and even if we split up and have a messy breakup or even hate each other when its over (which I doubt), it would still have been worth it for that time.
There are definitely certain parts of yourself that I would understand wanting to save for the one person you're going to be with for the rest of your life, but I don't think that should exclude you from dating other people you have a real connection with. If you can be with someone and make each others' lives better for that time, even if its not permanent, why exclude yourself from having that kind of relationship?

Yea so true! dont write off dating..its a way to find that special person. You gotta look. they might not necessarily appear right in front of you. Dating is also a way of finding who would be good for you. And find who your "type" is. Not blonde shaggy hair and blue eyes. Sweet, kind, funny, artistic, etc. :)