Writers Unite discussion

hi everyone! i'm megan
i have one fan-fiction and one story(neither are finished)
both are fiction(note i'm an awful speller so bare with me)

http://www.goodreads.com/story/list/3...

.........

Is there a specific one that you'd like people to read? And are you looking for feedback to improve them at all?

no theres no specific one and yes i'm looking for feedback

Ok. I'll start reading some now :) It might take awhile till I post some feedback though.

ok thanks:) and i don't mind if it takes awhile i'll be on for awhile:)

I'll read. ;)

Cool!

:) witch one did you read?

I'm going to read the Warrior fan fiction story. I'm gonna start the review soon.

Oh and please don't take it personal if I'm a bit harsh in my review. Just letting you know I'm not being mean or anything :)

its fine i don't mind

Alright, just making sure :D

BD

Alright so here's my review for your Warrior's fanfiction Story, Chapter 1.

First I'd just like to point out that I have never read any of the Warriors books. Don't know why I wanted to do that but yea...so on to the review! :D

Ok so first you might want to start separating sections of this story into paragraphs. It's just a suggestion but it does make it a bit easier to read and helps the reader to understand what's going on a little better. Try separating after bits of dialogue and when you start a new idea. Those are usually the ideal places to create new paragraphs.

Try to capitalize the letters at the beginning of your sentences. Again it's all just a matter of being able to read it a little easier, no biggie though. It just helps your writing to look more professional :)

"...the five squirming kits at his mates belly..."- 'mates' should have an apostrophe before the 's' to make it possessive.

"what should we name the he whispered to his mate wildflower,she said..."- 'What' should be capitalized and have quotations around it to make it clear that a character is speaking. Also, i think the sentence should end after wildflower and her name should be capitalized. I almost didn't realize that Wildflower was a character >.<

"...he nodded in approval and for her brindlekit her tail gently brushed a torritersell and white she-kit..."- I was slightly confused at this part for some reason. Are Brindlekit and Torritersell more characters or do I have to read the books to understand?



So overall I think you just have to put quotations around the dialogue and work on fixing the capitalization. I really liked your descriptions of the kittens though and all their different colors of fur. I'd really like some more description about where Bramblestar and Wildflower are though. Are they in a field? In a barn? Just something to consider :) Other than that I'm looking forward to reading more since you already have a lot posted! Please let me know if this was helpful at all. Really great, Megan :D

Whoaaaaaaaaaaa.

Carina wrote: "Alright so here's my review for your Warrior's fanfiction Story, Chapter 1.

First I'd just like to point out that I have never read any of the Warriors books. Don't know why I wanted to do that bu..."

ok Brindlekit is a kit, torriteshell is what color she is and it would help if you had read the warriors books they are in a forest they live in clans so the more you read the more since it will make and thanks for all you r advice:)

No problem :D

could someone do me a favor and read my story if only in our dreams? i would be really really greatful if i could get someones apionon on it:)

the link is on the first post

I'd love to read it, but I have absolutely no free time so I'll get to it as soon as I can.

thank you:) hey your megan 2:)

haha yeah. when i post stuff i'll b Megan2 :)

Hey everybody! i posted a story! haha i thought since my name's megan too i'd tell you.

i added to my writing:)