Quotes discussion

Come on. I'm sure you can remember something you've heard in your life that's made you smile, cry or laugh. Whether you were just at the bus station and picked up on some funny exchanges between a man and his wife on the mobile, or something really stupid your friend said, it'd be nice to know about it.
Please give us a little bit of background information about what was happening, so we know what you're talking about, then quote away.
Happy quoting!

I live in Australia. My friend and I were talking about how strange it is that you don't have Tim Tams in America (wtf??) when suddenly she asked, "Do they have KFC in America?"
I laughed sooooo hard. Kentucky Fried Chicken? IN AMERICA?

Ohhh so many quotes... Uhmmmmm... OH!!!!

Ok, so I'm friends with this guy, and I was on a camp with him for a week. And before camp, he had a cold and after he got over his cold, his vocal chords changed. And so he could do this really good girls voice (MAJORLY high pitched!) that didn't sound ANYTHING at all like any girls voice I know. And we were playing this game, and he won. And so he starts jumping up and down going "OH MY GOSH I WON OH MY GOSH I WON OH MY GOSH!!!!" in a high pitched as voice and clapping his hands. It had me in fits of laughter for the rest of the week that I hung out with him haha and he did it at every opportunity!
Lol :D I'm smiling at the memory haha!
(He can't do it anymore now though, because his voice is too deep!)

Recently, I told my sisters in a hushed, mysterious voice, "Under these clothes... I'm naked." The younger one cracked up laughing. The other raised an eyebrow and said, "...I get it, but how is it funny?" Guess which sister is my favourite? XD Joking.

You got that off me! Who got that off FB. XD

HAHAHAHA! And yeah, why DON'T we have Tim Tams here? >.<

I get most of my funny quotes from teachers. And times when I embarrass myself in public. Like this one time in my Latin class, when we were watching a video on Rome. My teacher asked me, "So, what language were the Romans speaking at this time?"
I answered, "Um... Roman?"
-.- Roman isn't a language, Swifty.

Um I have one, but it's originally in Swedish. So, here, base in chemistry and bass the guitar, is both called the same thing (bas).

So, one day in chemistry class a friend of mine asks our teacher what exactly a base is, and he answers: it's an instrument!

You think that a chemistry teacher would know which 'bas' we were talking about ;)

Lol, these are hilarious XD

Ummmm.....oh!

"I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die...," - Me on my first rollercoaster.

I have another one, from a canoe trip we made in ninth grade. One of our leaders had asked us if we new how to make a Canadian canoe (although she just said Canadian) move without paddling. By rocking back and forth! One of my friends then said: We had a Canadian in our class!

I have no idea what she was thinking… x)

I have another quote.
My friend and I were having a discussion, and we ended up getting confused. So we sort out the confusion, and then she goes "So we're on the same page? ... Of different books!" and I cracked up laughing hahahahaha!!!
:D

XD These are all great.
"She pees like a Lambourghini..." Hahaha RCRC and Miss Silvertongue you guys are crazy.

My family and I were driving in the good ol' countryside. My sister: "AH! Did you see those cows? One of them had its paws on the other one's back!!" Me: "... Uh,um... cows don't have PAWS they have HOOVES, sweetie. And I guess they were just... ah, playing musical chairs..." ._.

Here's a quotes from my very strange family:

My Dad: *telling to my brother when he was four* Do you know chocolate milk comes from brown cows?

My brother (2): REALLY?

Poor boy, he thought that for four years -_-

My brother: *points at girl across from him in a resturaunt* Mommy! That girl has really big boobs!

Note: That was when he was three...

lol

hmm my grandpa says some odd things

"Mother dear full of bear"
"there are two types of stories, once upon a time and now this is no ****"

and some other things that I can't remember right now but will come back to me

Haha I have one like Swifty’s… I was talking to my friend’s friend at her birthday party and both of us weren’t in our home countries so we were talking about that. She told me she was Romanian but her parents left because they didn’t like it there any more and me being my smart little self blurted out “I love Rome! Why did they leave?! Crazy people!!” That’s when our conversation stopped and she started to back away… Took me a while to figure out why as well :/

Hahahahaha!!!! That's hilarious! But it happens, don't worry. :)

Heh. My grandma:
"These days, people don't talk proper!"
I laughed for ages.

Another funny grandma quote:
"This little piggy went to market;
This little piggy stayed home;
This little piggy had roast pork..."
Haha cannibal pigs. It was meant to be beef!

Most bizarre request I've ever received:
"Can I eat your brain?" from my mate through text. Had me a bit worried haha :\

I'd be either freaking out or ignoring it. Depends on who texted me. XD (Yeah, I have a few friends who can be worrisome. :D)

Hmmmmm yes, he's not a creep at any rate lol. ;)

Haha

Did he explain later? =]

XD These are all great.

I was at the beach, and I saw this little four-year-oldish boy wearing overalls chasing after a dog. The sight itself made me smile. What made me laugh was when the boy finally caught the dog, he said in a very stern voice, "Now, dog, I'm a sherrif around these parts..." I was grinning like a loon. IMMD. XD Then my dad broke into a run. Trying to keep up with him, I panted, "Why are we running?"
"The sherrif!" he answered, "He'll catch us!"

HAHAHAHA!

"She's not here!"
In our school, most of the teachers sit at the front of the room, so that when you open the door you can immediately see if the teacher's there or not. Once, my English teacher - who's really strict - broke this informal rule by sitting randomly at the back. Don't know why. Anyway. Some girl, who was five minutes late, opened the door. Thinking the teacher wasn't there, she started dancing across the classrom "Yes!! She's not here!!" She suddenly realised the teacher was right in front of her. She literally fell over. "Cjay," the teacher said, "maybe you'd like to go outside the classroom and try that again?"
"Yes Miss," the girl said in a subdued voice.

OMG That was epic!! Now everyone comes into the room, looks around then starts talking. XD

XD Hey Miss Silvertongue! Do you want to PJRP, RCRC and I kinda need you =)

Um ok then, I'm there already. :)

GSGS wrote: "Did he explain later? =]"

Hmmmmm well not really, but I sorta went along with it and yeah haha :)

Haha... Ha... I'll just keep laughing if you all don't mind.... Hahahaha

I don't mind =)

That's good XD hahahahahahahahahahaha

-In a geography class focussing on the importance of oil on the economy-
Teacher: Oil blah blah blah. Without oil we'd all die blah blah blah
Student: Mrs McNab, if olive oil is made of olives, and vegetable oil is made of vegetables, what is baby oil made of? 0_0
Teacher: No, darling. We're not talking about oil from vegetables, we're talking about oil from the ground, fossils-
Student: ... It was a joke *headdesk*


XD It was hilarious.

wait did he literally headdesk O.o

Question of the day... What is headdesk?!?!?!
:S

Headdesk:
The action of slamming your head against a desk, wall, or other hard object because of complete misfortune. Related to facepalm.

1) Person A: I think I will go play Tetris!"
*begins to play game*
*Person A is 1 point away from beating their high score*
*computer crashes*
Person A: "WHAT!? NO! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! WHY!?" *headdesk*

2) Person B: "Oh My God. It's stopped raining!"
Person C: *headdesk* "It stopped raining 30 minutes ago you idiot!"

(Sweet Urban Dictionary...)

XD those were great examples

Uh, no SHE didn't literally headdesk. But I could see it happening.

"Are you guys leaving?" ((In a classroom)) - random
"Nope. We live here." - Miss Silvertongue
"Sssh... don't tell the teachers. They think it's the rats." - GSGS
"Yeah, my black hair kinda looks like a rat..." RCRC "*looks at GSGS* GSGS is an albino rat!"

*GSGS has dark blonde hair and pale skin. XD*

From-
Half God
Half Human
All Hero
To-
Half Grandma
Half Grandpa
All Pensioner

XD That was epic.

GSGS wrote: "-In a geography class focussing on the importance of oil on the economy-
Teacher: Oil blah blah blah. Without oil we'd all die blah blah blah
Student: Mrs McNab, if olive oil is made of olives, a..."

Didn't someone say
"Mrs. McNab if veggie oil is made out of veggies, is baby oil made out of babies?" O.O
ROFL!!!

...
That's what I said.

Oh you kids go to the same school!!!!

Haha my dad has a great quote. "This might sound a bit random but..." and he mentions something completely off topic haha :)

Yep.

:) Yeah, I go off topic too, sometimes, then forget what the original topic was.

Speaking of off topic.

I swear I'm getting memory loss. I had really good memory then it kinda just disappeared... *tear*

XD As long as you remember that you have memory loss. Otherwise, things get bad.

What? I don't get...wait...OH! got it...hehe bit slow if you haven't noticed...getting slower.

I think you remind me of Dory, RCRC