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Annabelle's writing
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So what do you guys think? Be honest!Brutally honest, if necessary, but I hope it isn't. (:
Wow, that is pretty intrguing. LOL, the first prt reminded me of my sis.
i really like this annabelle. sounds really good. this is a a prologue of some sort right? it just kind of reads that way to me. sad and as amina put it "intriguing" what with all of the death. only thing i want to point out is that you used the word joy quite a bit. i'd mix it up a little. and the name is awesome, makes total sense (ahem... tho i commented on your characters page before i read this). hope you post more soon =)
Thanks! And yeah, this is basically a prologue. I'll definitely look at your suggestions and make some edits. (:I saw your character names suggestions. They're from a different story though, one that I will post the beginning of soon.
This is an awesome prologue! It kinda leaves the reader hanging for more. Do you have more?
Not yet, but I'm working on it! I promise I'll have more ASAP.
Oh, and if you guys are interested, here's the link to two short works I have posted on the general Goodreads writing.More of Annabelle's writing
k i'll read them and get you some feedback if you'd like
WOW:) great job i really like it and can't wait for you to post more!
Thank you so much! The first chapter is almost done, actually. It should be posted by the end of this month. (:
I've just finished writing something little, but I'm really proud of it. I'd appreciate feedback!Apologizing for Love
***WARNING***: This story does not necessarily have a happy ending! If non-happy endings really get you down, this might not be your best choice.
Six MinutesI have six minutes.
Six minutes to tell you goodbye.
How can I tell you goodbye in only six minutes when I feel like I've known you for six centuries?
It is a choice I didn't make.
At the same time, perhaps it is what I deserve in the end.
I was inconsiderate, I was cruel, I was downright mean sometimes. But I loved you.
Is that what love is? Cruelty? Because that's all I felt.
I was awful. I ruined all of our chances.
And now I only have six minutes to tell you goodbye.
Please read this! I'm not sure how good it is, but I'd love feedback.Liar: It explores betrayal and love, it's simple. It's a breakup, but it isn't an easy one. It's different than my other pieces because I've omitted what the guy says and included only what the girl says to give it an interesting point-of-view.
http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/2...
i like it. its very uniquely carried out. i like the line "a girl knows these things" im thinking, however, that that last "liar" could be obliterated where you just leave the question hanging and then the reader would know the answer to it is "liar"...i don't know. im just rambling...
I'll definitely consider it. Thanks!
Oh my goodness, guys. I have finally, finally, finally posted the extremely short prologue of one of my novels-in-progress. You have to read it. Like, right now. And I am dead serious. Go. Now.Perfection
Description: Dominic Andrews was the guy you wanted to be. He was a senior in high school and captain of the football team. He could have any girl he wanted. That's why it was such a big deal when he chose Jalene Adams, a quiet girl who studied hard and rarely looked up. He was the perfect guy. Perfect hair. Perfect eyes. Perfect body. Perfect everything. And then one day, Jalene goes missing. No one knows why. All Dom knows is that he has to find her. And if he happens to meet a French model named Charla, well…who knows what could happen? It's a journey that will ultimately teach him what perfection, and all the flaws behind it, really is.
Link: http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/2...
Chapter 2 of Perfection is up!! I'm sorry that it's so short, but I'll make up for it. Really.http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/2...
Chapter 3 of Perfection is up!! This one is kind of short too, but Chapter 4 is quite long, so prepare yourself. ((:http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/2...
Okay, I want to clarify why this chapter was written from Aria Kira's point of view. I did this not because she is an extremely important character (although she does show up again) but because I felt it was important that the reader gets a perspective that is not Dom's in this chapter. While the majority of the story will be told by Dom, there will be sections told by other characters, and I want to be clear that I do do this for a reason.
I made a decision to post excerpts from my unposted novels-in-progress on Goodreads so that they're available for you to read and review. I'll try to provide background, but it's possible they won't necessarily be in chronological order. So far there should be no problems since there're only three excerpts and none of them are from the same novel, but just for future reference.So, enjoy ;)
http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/2...
Recently, I happened to be involved in what I believe is one of the most amazing miracles I've ever read about or witnessed anywhere. This is my take on the experience, and I really hope you enjoy it.Miracles
Description: Last September, my friend Richard took a gun and shot himself in the head, killing himself. That's what they told me. But they were wrong.
http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/2...
New piece! I wrote it after I discovered one of my closest friends had an eating disorder.The World
http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/2...
She is beautiful. She does not know she is beautiful.
Her name is Velia. Velia Isabelle Schaffer, to be exact.
She passes her days in silence, almost never speaking. Instead, she simply smiles and nods whenever she hears a voice directed towards her.
She is the girl in the corner, the beautiful girl in the corner, and she is all but invisible to the world.
Her life began with fireworks and joy when she was born to parents who were supposedly unable to have children.
What a joyful day that was! The entire city celebrated in happiness, the giddy celebrations lasting until dawn.
But when the two parents chose to name their baby girl, they named her Velia, a name meaning "veiled." Almost as if they knew the future.
As she entered the world in an excess of joy, she lived it with a deficit. Death claimed first her father, and three years later, her mother. She was given to the care of her aunt, but she too soon fell to death. Next in line were her grandparents, and it was not long before they passed away.
Velia was always one to hide in the corner, and the deaths of everyone who'd ever cared for her threw her into shock. Always timid, she became truly reclusive.
But secretly, in the depths of her heart, she never stopped hoping that the day would come when she would experience the joy known to others on the day of her birth. The day she would cease to be invisible.