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An Excerpt, Would You Read?
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Oct 31, 2010 10:30AM
The silence broke by a sound of a guitar playing, slowly, gently, in an exquisite but heartbreaking rhythm. She stood in awe, the started walking toward the sound of the guitar, as if she had heard it before. The music, it sounded so familiar. It couldn’t be could it? Her father, her mother, her parents were all dead. Dead, every blood and flesh she’d ever known. Just because of a single mistake done by one person. And that one person was someone quite close to her heart, although she hadn’t known it. It was the Duke.
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Would you read this? If it was a bit more lengthy?
Oh i would read this!!! it sounds soo interesting
Yes!!!!! I would read this!!!! OMG this is really great!!
Hmmmm interesting. Okay, tell me WHY.
I would most likely read this. It's got that mysterious tone to it which always intrigues me :)
Ahan... well this is the work I've been writing, that YOU'VE been reading.
Hmmmmmm.... need more people to say WHY.
Hmmmmmm.... need more people to say WHY.
Well from this excerpt, there's not a lot to say about it. I mean, it's definitely mysterious but I can't really think of anything else to say about it since it's so short.
Okee, well technically, I now have 19 pages with my secret weapon. :D
It's waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay better than re-writing. All I have to do is copy- paste to another document.
Okay, I have this sort of new idea for a story, I wanted to slow down on the other one. Okay this one is about a girl named Olivia, she's like shoveling on a random cold day. Until she sees an owl that is need, cold and sick. She decides to take him in for a while.
Then the owl begins to write, telling her that there was danger, telling her the reason why the snow kept coming earlier every year.
Then the owl just leaves. :O
Later on she finds out he's a knight in shining armor working for a kingdom of ICE! OOOOMMMGGG RIGGGHHTTT? So would you read?
Then the owl begins to write, telling her that there was danger, telling her the reason why the snow kept coming earlier every year.
Then the owl just leaves. :O
Later on she finds out he's a knight in shining armor working for a kingdom of ICE! OOOOMMMGGG RIGGGHHTTT? So would you read?
I think it sounds cool. I have a question though: how is the owl able to write? I mean does he write with his claws or something? Just wondering.
♪♪Fatima♪♪ wrote: "The silence broke by a sound of a guitar playing, slowly, gently, in an exquisite but heartbreaking rhythm. She stood in awe, the started walking toward the sound of the guitar, as if she had heard..."
that sounds so intriuging
that sounds so intriuging
Yep, sounds interesting. Go for it Fatu :)
2 YEARS BACK
I wasn’t supposed to die, that wasn’t a part of the plan. They never meant it. Never even expected it. It was supposed to be a joke, but the joke went too far. They expected me to wake up the next moment, cracking up, ‘it was okay,’ was what they expected. But no, I lay still as a rock, not breathing. They didn’t know what to do, didn’t know how it would effect them and it did affect them. Terribly.
I’m here to tell the story, truth and all.
Would you read?
I wasn’t supposed to die, that wasn’t a part of the plan. They never meant it. Never even expected it. It was supposed to be a joke, but the joke went too far. They expected me to wake up the next moment, cracking up, ‘it was okay,’ was what they expected. But no, I lay still as a rock, not breathing. They didn’t know what to do, didn’t know how it would effect them and it did affect them. Terribly.
I’m here to tell the story, truth and all.
Would you read?
Wow! Sounds interesting. This really makes me want to read more because I want to know what happened to cause this person to die.
Sounds neat. I love suspense-gripping beginnings.
I definitely agree with Carina. It totally does sound interesting!
A new kid moved next door when I was six. I still remember him completely. We were seen together all the time; my mother recalls our friendship as peanut butter and jelly, or just plain glue.
It was a common quote, but as I pry open the lids of old dusty boxes, with pictures of us flying our paper airplanes its hard not to cry. It really is. There’s a ton of pictures there, us going on the merry go round, and sitting on our first roller coaster clinging on each other for dear life, with our mouths wide open, screaming, and probably laughing at the same time.
It was perfect.
Until he moved.
And my life was no longer made to perfection, it was dull and boring. I could pick up the toys we played with in boxes that read Travis and Ally in big sloppy letters. When you turned the box and dumped everything on the floor, you could see the insides of the box, full of crazy artwork. Spaceships, aliens, ponies, and so many drawings with talent and imagination.
I don’t know where it went.
Because I can no longer draw.
It was a common quote, but as I pry open the lids of old dusty boxes, with pictures of us flying our paper airplanes its hard not to cry. It really is. There’s a ton of pictures there, us going on the merry go round, and sitting on our first roller coaster clinging on each other for dear life, with our mouths wide open, screaming, and probably laughing at the same time.
It was perfect.
Until he moved.
And my life was no longer made to perfection, it was dull and boring. I could pick up the toys we played with in boxes that read Travis and Ally in big sloppy letters. When you turned the box and dumped everything on the floor, you could see the insides of the box, full of crazy artwork. Spaceships, aliens, ponies, and so many drawings with talent and imagination.
I don’t know where it went.
Because I can no longer draw.
Awwww :( This is really full of feeling. You keep starting these wonderful pieces and never go on! Please continue.
