We Love Lisa Kleypas discussion

Do you have a funny joke or story that always gets a laugh? We'd love to hear it!

A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam.

The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.

"Breast-fed," she replied.

"Well, strip down to your waist," the doctor ordered.

She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination.

Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said, "No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk."

"I know," she said, "I'm his Grandma, but I'm damn glad I came."

LOL That is great!

Ahaha!! Funny!!

This is such a family favorite that it was alluded to at my Uncle's funeral.

A fella went shopping, and bought himself a pair of chartreuse shoes. He was really happy about it, so as soon as he got home, he put them on and walked around hoping for his wife to notice. He said, "notice anything different about me?"

She said, "Did you get a haircut?"

This really annoyed him, so he stripped naked and put back on the shoes, and returned to strutting around the room. "Now do you notice?"

She asked, "Why are you walking around dangling?"

He replied, "It's not dangling, it's pointing! It's pointing with pride to my new chartreuse shoes."

She said, "Schmuck! Why didn't you buy a chartreuse hat?"

LOL!!!!!!

LOL!!!!!! @ the joke , and at Mollie`s family good sense of humor!! ;)

Did you hear about the agnostic dyslexic insomniac who lay awake at night wondering if there was a dog?

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!! That was priceless!

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did you hear the one about the fat, alcoholic transvestite - All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary.

After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex Bill woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman. That's when he realised he had made it home safely.

Here's an hilarious iPhone auto correct:

A : I am soooo thirsty. Can you buy me a hugh bottle o water on the way home.

B: Yea. Of course. Why are you so thirsty.

A: Way too much sodomy last night.

B: Please tell me that was autocorrect.

A: Oh. Dear. God. SODIUM!!!

B: Hahahahahaha wow. That was bad.

Holiday complaints (genuine comments in a survey carried out by Thomas Cook and ABTA):

"On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food at all."

"There are too many Spanish people. The receptionist speaks Spanish. The food is Spanish. Too many foreigners."

"No-one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled."

funny Carol!!!

thanks for sharing!

Thanks Bekah. You know what they say - laughter is the best medicine.

Carol, I had to e-mail some of those to my best friend and my sister-in-law. LOL!

Lisa Kay, my husband had them emailed to him at work, so I've some more I can share. I thought the 'sodomy' one was just hilarious!

I didn't know iPhones did auto correct. OMG! Too funny. LOL!

Laugh, and the world laughs with you;
Weep, and you weep alone.
- from a poem by Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Paddy says to Mick, "Christmas is on Friday this year." Mick said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th then."

After years of research, scientists have discovered what makes women happy. (view spoiler)[ NOTHING! (hide spoiler)]

Hilarious iPhone auto correct:

A: I just figured out how to use cock slap on my iphone (kinda feel dumb)

B: Ummmmm. What!

A: HOLY SHIT! I mean:CAPSLOCK! (kinda feel realllly dumb now)

B: COCKSLAP

Ha!!! I love it Carol!! Auto correct is a pain, but sometimes, it's sooo worth it!!!

Thought this was funny! My MIL sent it to me in an email.

Harlequin Novel, Updated.... 2011 Version:


He grasped me firmly, but gently, just above my elbow and guided me into a room, his room.



Then he quietly shut the door and we were alone.



He approached me soundlessly, from behind, and spoke in a low, reassuring voice close to my ear. "Just relax." Without warning, he reached down and I felt his strong, calloused hands start at my ankles, gently probing, and moving upward along my calves, slowly but steadily. My breath caught in my throat.



I knew I should be afraid, but somehow I didn't care. His touch was so experienced, so sure. When his hands moved up onto my thighs, I gave a slight shudder, and partly closed my eyes. My pulse was pounding. I felt his knowing fingers caress my abdomen, my ribcage. And then, as he cupped my firm, full breasts in his hands, I inhaled sharply.



Probing, searching, knowing what he wanted, he brought his hands to my shoulders, slid them down my tingling spine to my panties. Although I knew nothing about this man, I felt oddly trusting and expectant. This is a man, I thought. A man used to taking charge. A man not used to taking 'No' for an answer. A man who would tell me what he wanted. A man who would look into my soul and say . . . .



"Okay ma'am, you can board your flight now."

I thought this was funny:-

During a recent password audit by Microsoft & Google,
it was found that a blonde was using the following password:

"MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofyTallahassee"

When asked why she had such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.

FOFLMAO!

Okay, I had to e-mail that one, LOL!