Creative Writing discussion

Let us try discussing the accepted norms of grammar and spelling usage. Kindly correct me wherever I make a wrong mention. Remember it is a group effort towards better writing.



Let me start with some not so good writing :-)

Example 1 : My own attempt .. Message 20 SNOWBIRD

"I am not so sure, the Pillar is so intensly(wrong spelling - intensely) bright!",(wrong usage of comma) replied Karl, "But way up there where the clouds part can you see something circling the Pillar?"

"Hmm!Ye-es!",(wrong usage of comma) she replied hesitantly at first, but then with growing conviction she asked with growing amazement, "Is that a bird? Karl!! Is that a SNOWBIRD??!!"

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EXAMPLE 2 : Message 14 Pass on Stories -20.12.2012

Sagar has this sudden thought," Either these tiny fellows like shiny metal like (bad choice of using 'like') we humans and have run those pieces of wire around as decoration....OR!!! ...they realize wire conducts vibrations and they're using it to network !!" (excess ellipsis usage)

"Wow!" ,(wrong comma) he thought, " If I drop in a couple of nano transceivers linked to wire bits and set up a workstation to monitor signals (include comma?) I just might get to know"

He absent(missing hyphen) mindedly picks up his pet cat Grammar and strokes her. He always found a cats (cat's)purr very soothing and (this purring?)helped him think...

Sagar picks up 12 nano transceivers with their tiny link wires and dropped(drops - sudden 'tense' change from present to past) them down the hatch of the ant farm and waited(waits), continuing to stroke Grammar.

Deep down in the ant farm AlphaQ picked up the vibrations(little realizing it was Grammar's purring) that normally meant their Creator was sending them materials. Ants all through the colony placed their feelers along the wire and realized it was time to go to the pick up zone...

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Now on to some great writing..

EXAMPLE 3:

Despair (Free Write)

bracketed - alter/include/delete options :

Dear Diary,
I'm going insane. The wait is killing me. I keep replaying the events in my head, I don't deserve to live my life as he has to live his sleeping and unliving. He's not dead, but he's close to it. I'm reassured he'll live, surface conciousness (consciousness 'alter') one day(,'include') but I can't help but torture myself about it. Sometimes I can't help it, they live in my dreams. Those haunting words and memories. They feed off of('of'-'delete') me, day and night. I can't fuel them so I stopped eating. I know he'll kill me when he wakes up, if I survive 'till then.

I wrap myself in my blankets, blocking the world out. I hate being vulenerable(vulnerable 'alter'), I grew up so strong and respected. But if there's not (no 'alter') world to threaten your strength, can you be vulenerable (vulnerable 'alter')?

The shadows haunt me, they contain whispers and memories. I often visit memory hall, looking at the hereos (heroes 'alter'). I feel shamed, they gave their life defending the innocent. I give my life hiding from the innocent. But it doesn't matter. When I give in (, 'include') it's horrifying, but it takes away everything else.
Though I still feel responsible for my siblings, they urge me to eat and I brush them off. I'm to (too 'alter') deep to resurface, and I my thoughts are dark. If I'm ever exposed to light memories (, 'include') I'm afraid I might shy away in the process.

I think that it is kind of you to correct the stories. But please refrain from doing so. Grammar is just a guide line and not required here. We all make mistakes and now, grammar will be confronted to single persons instead of a group as a whole.

If you notice anyone using improper grammar ON PURPOSE or their grammar is completely butchered, then Message me and I will be the one to talk to them privately.

Please Respect the new grammar rule.