Constant Reader discussion

I read Eat, Pray, Love earlier in August and wonder if any of you have read it. It's a memoir by Elizabeth Gilbert, who was a total mess -- marriage crumbling, deep in depression -- when she decided to spend a year seeking balance. Four months in Italy to experience "pleasure," four months on an ashram in India, four months on Bali seeking to balance the two. And, lucky girl, she got her publisher to give an advance that covered it all!

I really enjoyed Gilbert's voice (if you don't, the book would be torture). And, since I've spent a little time in Italy and, like Gilbert, love both the language (I agree -- it's the most beautiful language I've ever encountered) and the food, the Italy section was pure pleasure for me. I found the ashram section fascinating, but if you aren't at all interested in religious exploration (well, more "spiritual" than religious), it might get a bit tedious. The Bali (ok, Indonesian -- just to stick with the "3 I's") section was my least favorite, though I still liked most of it.

I have a feeling this is a "love it or hate it" book. Were there any CR takers?

Mary Ellen

The reviews I read of this were good. I'm going to look to see if it was done on audiobook now that I read your description, Mary Ellen.

And, I agree with you about the Italian language. It is so musical. And, food in Italy was a big surprise to me. It is all so wonderfully fresh and much lighter than what is sold as Italian food here.

Barb

This is a very popular book right now. My library estimates 59 days when it will be available. I put a hold on the audio version. It sounds like something I would like.

mary ellen,

i am one who "loved" this book.

jean

food in Italy was a big surprise to me. It is all so wonderfully fresh and much lighter than what is sold as Italian food here.

Absolutely. And the pasta isn't drowning in sauce.

Okay, back to the book.

Ruth

This sounds really interesting to me also -- it goes on the to read list. Interesting division of the year into the "physical" and the "spiritual" -- it made me think of Rumer Godden's memoir title House of Four Rooms. If I recall the four rooms are physical, mental, emotional and spiritual -- I have trouble keeping the four in mind though so may have something there which is incorrect.

Dottie

Mary Ellen,

Jean S. lent me the book, and it was one of the few that she wanted back. I can see why. There is a lot to think about in this book. Elizabeth Gilbert's life was a total mess before she took the year off to straighten herself out. I enjoyed taking the journey with her. She has some good ideas about how to take care of yourself. I wish someone would pay for me to take the year off! Where would I go?

Jane

I have to say I fall into the "hate it" camp. I couldn't get over the self-indulgent nature of the author. And, you're right, if you don't like her voice (which I thought was smug and self-righteous), it's tough going. I didn't finish it, mostly because I couldn't get over her rationalization, and near glorification, of her infidelity.

Linda

Time to prune! Any objections?

Jane

Actually, I do have a question about this book—I’m new to CR and just noticed the thread.

I am among those who loved Gilbert’s memoir—she has a great eye for detail and a wonderful sense of humor that I found very engaging. I did, however, have some trouble with the section in which she went to her guru’s ashram in India. I’ve spent the last few years researching the problems with the kind of guru-disciple relationship Gilbert recounts, and it makes me uneasy when I see such celebration given to a lineage that has as much scandal in it as her guru’s does.

So I’m curious how other people related to that section of the book. How did you all respond to hearing about her great spiritual experiences? Did it make anybody want to go find her guru for themselves? I’d love to know how people of different spiritual persuasions related to that part.

I have this book on order after seeing the author on Oprah.

Two things stood out for me. First was the wisdom that she need not have gone to India for the meditation. All she really needed to do was smile--even from her liver.

The second thing was changing her thinking from a "wishbone" to a "backbone."

Both these concepts resonated with me as I struggle through my own issues right now. I'm looking forward to the book.

Anne

Lena, I had no idea what "having a guru" meant and was surprised that it is such an impersonal relationship. (I mean by this, that she had apparently never spoken with her guru, and the guru isn't even at the ashram the whole time she was there.) I thought she deliberately didn't reveal who her guru is and the location of the ashram, so I have no idea what kind of lineage or scandal is attached to it.

I am a pretty devout Catholic, so this spirituality with no moral code attached to it is a bit of a puzzler for me! But that made it quite interesting. And when she described -- as much as one can -- her intense spiritual experiences, her encounters with the divine, I thought that it was the real deal. As Benedict XVI said, there are as many ways to God as there are human beings! And I appreciated how she took some of the fruits of her experience into the next phase of her journey.

Mary Ellen

Mary Ellen, thanks for your thoughtful response. Despite my hesitations about the middle section of the book, I admired Gilbert's choice to not name her guru but to instead focus on her own spiritual experiences. Your comment makes me think that’s part of the reason why the book has found success beyond alternative spirituality circles. It was interesting to note that most of the controversy on the Oprah boards after her appearance on that show had to do not with her guru but with whether or not she was inspirational for following her dreams or selfish for leaving her husband. I found that surprising given how unconventional her spiritual journey really was.

I'm currently reading Eat, Pray, Love. I just started it Friday, but I'm loving it.

I started this book last week. Initially I hated it, but now I am loving it. I just wrote a long note only to have it disappear into the Never neverland when I hit post Rats! I will try again tomorrow. Katy H.

Katharine, there's new feature here that will help with long posts. As I'm typing this there are 7901 characters remaining. It shows up very light, however. Look just above the box that says "Add to my Update Feed?" That should help us not lose stuff.

What a coincidence! I hadn't come across this book at all until an American work colleague of mine recommended it to me only this week - she thought it would reasonate with me. It is now on my reservations list at the local library - I'll let you know how I get on with it when it arrives - I'm currently 4th person on the waiting list so it might be sometime

Sheila

Thanks to Mary Ellen, I started reading this two weeks ago. At first I hated it. The author, in the process of breaking up her marriage, came off as a shallow, selfish, superficial twit. I was surprised that it wasn't her husband who was demanding a divorce. After two years of nasty fighting over the settlement, and an affair with another man she was an emotional wreck. Yet somehow she put together a plan for rehabilitation. She decided to take a year off and visit three countries: Italy, India and Indonesia. Each sojourn constitutes a section of the book.
Her first stop was Italy. She went there to immerse herself in the culture and to learn a language that she had always loved. She found a small apartment in Rome and began taking classes. She enjoyed eating good food, meeting new people, and traveling with friends. But it wasn't all self-indulgence; she was utterly disciplined about learning Italian, and became proficient before leaving.
Then it was on to India where she had signed up for a few months at an ashram. She did have some experience of Buddhist teachings and practice, and here she hoped to clear her spirit. A month long retreat is daunting undertaking, but with determination and humility she plunged in. The program: rising at 3:00 AM; prescribed chanting; hours of meditation and study; assigned tasks; a vegetarian diet. Would all this meditation and reflection be followed by enlightenment? In her case, it would. Her stay was so transformative that she cancelled her travel plans and remained four months. She has turned out to be an unflinchingly honest, thoughtful, and courageous person.
Indonesia is next. There she hopes to find a balance between the two extremes of indulgence and austerity. I recommend this book highly.
Katy H.

I agree, Katy - it's a great book.

One note of clarification, though. Gilbert's path is not Buddhist but Hindu.

A friend recommended this book to me and I love her for it. It was wonderful. Although she and I both agreed, and it seems we are not alone here, that the India part of the book (the "pray" if you will) was the weakest part.

I have this book on my to-read list. I think I'll go put it on hold at the library. It might take me awhile to get it!

I agree with you in general, and the first Italian part was the worst in that regard. However, Richard-from-Texas in India does a great job calling her out on that stuff.

Katy wrote: "I started this book last week. Initially I hated it, but now I am loving it..."

I'm coming to this thread very late, but Katy's post describes just how I felt as I was reading this recently.

I couldn't bear the whiny, self-centered prat at the beginning, but then I enjoyed the part about Italy (I decided to read it becasue I live here) and her descriptions of her experiences here.

I had mixed feelings through the rest of the book, but enjoyed her corageous self criticism, and in the end felt that the whole was greater than the sum of its parts and I'm glad I read it.

Hayes wrote: "Katy wrote: "I started this book last week. Initially I hated it, but now I am loving it..."

I'm coming to this thread very late, but Katy's post describes just how I felt as I was reading this..."

Hey, Glad you finally got to it. No question the Italian section was the most interesting for me and the India section the least except for the appearances of Richard from Texas.

Hi Ed! I'll agree with you there. And I liked her description of the "guru" in Bali, too. I'm glad you pushed me, otherwise I might have put it down after the first 25 pages.

Hayes wrote: "Katy wrote: "I started this book last week. Initially I hated it, but now I am loving it..."

I'm coming to this thread very late, but Katy's post describes just how I felt as I was reading this..."

I felt as Katy and Hayes did reading this book--had a hard time with the way it was written, but enjoying Gilbert's message in the end.

Author of MAGGIE: the dog who changed my life
www.dawnkairns.com

Anne wrote: "I have this book on order after seeing the author on Oprah.

Two things stood out for me. First was the wisdom that she need not have gone to India for the meditation. All she really needed to do..."

I wish I'd known, Anne, you could have borrowed my copy! I like the wishbone to backbone part, too. You're not alone!

Author of MAGGIE: the dog who changed my life
www.dawnkairns.com

I'm afraid I am in the camp of those who hated the book. In fact, I look forward to the memoir she writes when she starts to feel unfulfilled with Felipe, parks him in a nursing home (he is 20+ years her senior) and goes off to find herself again. She doesn't have to go all the way to India to find herself next time; if what she seeks is rising early in the morning to scrub floors and work in the kitchen, I offer her my home in Georgia. I won't even charge her for the privilege. ;-)

I, too, have wondered what will happen when the author and Felipe run into the "work" of the marriage...

I thought the most interesting part of the whole thing, after sifting thru the whining and griping, is what she didn't say, which came blaring through in the first part as she's describing her marriage breakdown - the hints about the manipulative money grubbing husband, aided and abetted by her own co-dependent personality, bla, bla, bla... she never did get around to talking about that, did she?

I have this in audiobook form on my iPod. Right now, I think I might just delete it. There are many other more interesting-sounding books to me, to use my time on this one.

I don't know, Sherry... as I said in my first post, the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. It comes together in the end (or it did for me) and I'm glad I read it. It's just when I think about the individual bits that I have negative memories. A really good reader might make this very entertaining, something to listen to in snippets.

Hayes wrote: "I thought the most interesting part of the whole thing, after sifting thru the whining and griping, is what she didn't say, which came blaring through in the first part as she's describing her marr..."

Sherry,

At least page through it. Hayes is right. There are low points and there are high points but over-all, it was worth the time spent reading it. It's a quick read BTW, except where you might want to spend some time thinking about what's being said. There are lots of goodies hidden inside the dross.

I may give it a go, but since it's on my iPod, it will be hard for me to skim. I was curious what all the fuss was about.

I have to agree with Ed, that it is worth reading through the dross to find the goodies.
www.dawnkairns.com

I too think it's a worthwhile read. But I neither hated nor loved it. For me it was simply okay. I thought Gilbert was a little too self involved but I enjoyed her humor and her journey. I think everyone has a least favorite and a favorite section. And for that reason I wouldn't classify it as an easy read. I read the Italy part in a week or so last February, not this, but last. And once I got to India I put the book down for months. Only picking it up every six weeks or so and only able to handle 10 pages at a time. Yoga and meditation obviously are not my forte. But I did love Richard from Texas.

Then I finally made it to Bali and I couldn't put the book down. Ironically, she writes about 12 months of travel, and it literally took me 12 months to read the whole thing. I loved Bali for many of the reasons people on this thread seem to have loved Italy. I lived on Borneo Island for about a year back in 2004. The people and experiences she describes in Bali take me back to my lovely Malaysia.

For me it was worth the "dross to find the goodies," as Dawn puts it. But I'm not running around recommending it to friends.

NerdGirl wrote: "I really enjoyed it. A friend sent it to me as a gift when I was recovering from a surgery last year, and it was a perfect read at the time. I can see how people might have a problem with the Pre..."

Welcome to CR, NerdGirl and I'm looking forward to the film also. I know what you mean about the Pray part but then again -- it's right there up front in the title and the info blurbs sort of set the scene for it so I would assume anyone who has a problem with it would pass before reading. I felt that as with all books of this nature, one can pick and choose what one might take away after having read it -- interpret and transmute the events and experiences to fit and to enrich one's own living.

A lot of people pooh-pooh books like this, but I read it a couple of years ago and loved it. She didn't seem self-absorbed to me. It was a memoir, after all. She sounded natural and honest.
NerdGirl wrote: "I really enjoyed it. A friend sent it to me as a gift when I was recovering from a surgery last year, and it was a perfect read at the time. I can see how people might have a problem with the Pre..."

I also read this book a few years ago. Didn't know who she was nor was I aware of all the hype around the book. I loved it. It's one of my all time favorite reads. I could relate to her in many ways and I love that she really dug deep in herself to move on from a tough situation. I didn't find her shallow either, but nobody else that I know personally liked the book, they all hated it - but they are all also very devout religious people (of the Christian variety) and they felt her book to be "heresy" and "wrong" (their words not mine).

I really disliked the first section (Italy), but stuck with it, liked India, and thought Indonesia was okay, if not great. One of the few audiobooks where the narrator does a good job reading her own work.

I liked the book as well. It was a pleasant read and I could relate to her too. The critics were too hard on her in my opinion.

I thought Gilbert was selfish and thought only of herself. I didn't like the way she dumped her husband. The travel descriptions were were nice, but I felt like she tried to imply that she went from a life of deadly boredom into life in paradise. I don't think real growth comes that way. She just satisfied an "itch."

I felt strongly as you did in the Italian section - a combination of unjustified self-pity, alternating with "Oh how the Italian hunks want me!"
Richard-from-Texas cuts her right down in India.

I listened to the audiobook production which the author read herself. She did an excellent job and, somehow, hearing it in her voice, I didn't find her arrogant. Maybe that would have been different in print. I liked the whole book.

I tried to read this a few years ago and didn't get very far at all. I was simply struck by the fact that this is in no way a normal person when she can walk away from her life and take a year off and travel around the world to find herself. I found it very self-indulgent, but then I quit very early on.

Indeed, Sue, in the Italian section Gilbert's incredibly self-absorbed.

Perhaps I should have tried to manage though but it was, as always, a case of too many other books I wanted to read.

Barbara wrote: "I listened to the audiobook production which the author read herself. She did an excellent job and, somehow, hearing it in her voice, I didn't find her arrogant. Maybe that would have been differ..."

I totally agree, Barb. I loved her reading and found her very dry humor and self-deprecation very amusing. As for the India section--absolutely great.

I find that sometimes being selfish is the only thing that helps you get out of a bad situation (e.g. when you keep sacrificing your life and your time unwillingly, without getting anything in return). It can't be easy, and it might be just temporary but it saves you! That's why I understood why she made that decision and wasn't bothered by her selfishness. I'm not saying it was a great book but I think it had a point.

Bahareh wrote: "I find that sometimes being selfish is the only thing that helps you get out of a bad situation (e.g. when you keep sacrificing your life and your time unwillingly, without getting anything in retu..."

You're right, Bahareh. We need a certain amount of selfishness to survive. There are people out there, psychic vampires, who will take advantage and drain you dry, if you don't look out for your own interest.

It's a matter of balance, like so many other things in life. When you do for others what they could/should do for themselves, you're not being virtuous; you're being a codependent doormat.