LDS KIDS discussion
Jokes
ok so there were 3 guys who went out and when the came back to their 600 story hotel the elevator wasnt working so they decided that for the first 200 stories the 1st guy would tell jokes then the 2nd guy would tell a happy story for the next 200 stories and the 3rd guy would tell a sad story for the last 200 stories so when it was the 3rd guys turn to tell a sad story he said "ok heres my sad story: I left my keys dowstairs..."
Once upon a time there was a place where it never rained, the end.
Three boys play hide and seek in an abandoned house. One is named So What, one is named Whatever, and one is named Trouble. Trouble then goes to hide and So What and Whatever get caught by the police. The Police man says, "what are your guys names.." They reply, "So What, Whatever" the police man says..."I told you to tell me your names!" They again reply "So What, Whatever" The police man then says, "Oh I get it... you guys are looking for trouble!!!!" They relpy "why yes we are! How did you know?"
Hey, I know a joke! A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for the winter and now I am dead." Ha! It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.
Anna Chekov de Rouen Fompledump wrote: "Hey, I know a joke! A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for the winter and now I am dead." Ha! It is funny because the squirrel gets dead."Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha. I love that movie :)
me too!!!so a guy walks into a juice bar and says to the worker i bet u a juice that i can bite my own left eye! so the worker says no one can bite their own left eye! its a bet! so he takes out his eye and bites it (it was a glass eye) so he drinks his juice and he says to the worker i bet you another juice that i can bite my right eye and so the worker says no one can have 2 glass eyes! its a bet! so the guy takes out his fake teeth and bites his right eye!
Ouch, even if they were fake, that might hurt!A husband and a wife live in their house with their butcher, maid, cook and planter. One sunday morning the wife awakens to find the husband dead. The wife goes and gets the police. The police investigate and this is what they find:
The Wife was sleeping
The Maid was sweeping the kitchen
The Planter was tending to the garden
The Butcher was getting the mail
The Cook was hard-boiling eggs
The police immediately arrested the Butcher. Why did they arrest the Butcher?
It is a riddle-type-thing. I can't give hints...
I have no clue...Other than, why the heck would the butcher get the mail?
how do you confuse a frog?put it in a round bowl and tell it to take a nap in the corner
how does a frog confuse you?
it comes out of the bowl and says that was a nice nap!
Sarah wrote: "Ouch, even if they were fake, that might hurt!A husband and a wife live in their house with their butcher, maid, cook and planter. One sunday morning the wife awakens to find the husband dead. Th..."
ok ok ok i get it now at first i thought i got it but then a sub. teacher at my school told it to us and now i know the answer... haha
ok so your stuck in a room that only has a mirror and a table in it no windows or doors or anything... how do you get out?answer: you look in the mirror see what you saw take the saw cut the table in half two halves make a whole go through the hole =)
ok so you go into a house and the powers out.. there is 3 doors a red one a blue one and a yellow one... you go through the red one and you find 3 staircases with colored stairs one is orange one is black and one is white you go up the white one then there are 3 more doors one grey one brown and a purple one you go through the purple one and there is a guy holdong a knife and a guy holding a gun and an electric chair how do you choose to die?
Oh! I know this one! My friend told it to me a while ago.
okay so Your in a room with two doors. One leads to death and the other leads to safety but you don't know which is which, the room is running out of oxygen and you need to pick a door fast. Standing by each door is a guard. One of the guards lies and one tells the truth, you don't know who is who. Now you can ask one question to both the guards to determine what door to go through to get to safety, what would you ask?
ugh! i've heard this one and i cant remember the answer!!
I've heard this one too...If it was just the simple idea of finding the one that lies, asking what two plus two is would do the trick....
>Malcom: Dad, when you cut down a ree, isn't it true that a new tree sometimes grows from the tree stump?Dad: Yes, tha's been known to happen.
Malcom: Then if you cut off my pony's tail, will a new pony grow out of it?
>Wilt: You have a stately nose, sir
Mort: Why thank you. I picked it myself.
~Great clean jokes for kids
Great Clean Jokes for Kids
Ha Ha! So you DO want me to tell you the answer to my riddle or do you not?
Okay you need to ask both the guards Which door would the other guard tell me leads to safety. Now the guard that tells the truth would point to the door that the liar would point to. The liar was supposed to point to the other door but since he lies he would point to the same door that the honest one points to. They would both be pointing at the same door so you would know to go to the door they aren't pointing to.
I could have got that!!!!!!!!! Oh well...
ok i know a joke! its a knock knock joke... someone start it!
Imagine you in a cement basement. It doesn't have any doors,windows, or exits. It is filling up with water fast. how do you stop it?
Here is a actual joke.0 to 200 in 6 seconds
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob has been missing since Friday.
=D
ok blonde joke....a blonde is tying to put together a puzzle... she cant do it so she calls her boyfriend and he asks whats wrong she says i cant put this puzzle together! so he askes what the puzzle is supposed to be and she says it is supposed to be a tiger. so he comes over and he looks at the puzzle for a while and he tells her, "ok... lets sit down, and put the frosted flakes back into the box..."
Ken wrote: "Imagine you in a cement basement. It doesn't have any doors,windows, or exits. It is filling up with water fast. how do you stop it?"i dont know... how
wwwaaaaiiiitttt....... if you are in a cement basement with no doors window or exits how would you be in there in the first place and how could it be filling up with water?!?!?! haha
ok i have another one hahaso youre in a house and the power goes out so you go into a yellow door and you find three staircases and you go up the one to the right you find three doors yellow red and blue you go in the blue one you find three elevator doors grey purple and orange you go in the orange one and there is three more doors brown black and violet you go in the black one and you find a guy with a gun a guy with a knife and an electric chair... you have to choose how you die and you have to stay there for an hour if you choose the electric chair which do you choose.....
oh haha i just realized that i already told u that joke... i didnt say the answer so oh well! haha
Police man- Sir your eyes look bloodshot, have you been drinking?Drunk- Your eyes look glazed, Have you been eating donuts.
You can see how that's going to end.
Joshua wrote: "Hey. I've got a joke. If Adolf Hitler, Osama Bin Ladin, Matt, and I were all in a room and I had a gun but it only had two bullets, I'd shoot Matt... twice."That's not very funny... :(
Teacher- Lucas, why did you cheat off of Erwin's test?
Lucas- How did you know I cheated off of Erwin's test?
Teacher- Because Erwin put I dont know on #5 and you put me neither!