COOKIES! discussion

We have a few things that qualify for this........

And here I am, opening up with a doozy.

As you may or may not know, I've been dealing with a minor heart condition for a while. It's called hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, and it means that part of my heart muscle is overdeveloped. Yes, in my whole flabby body I have one beefed-up muscle, and it's not one I want that way. Figures. It's either caused by or the cause of my high blood pressure, and symptoms include pounding heart (out of proportion to exertion) and occasional dizziness. Recently I had a barrage of tests done at the Cleveland Clinic: echo, stress test, EKG, MRI, chest X-ray, you name it. The end result: the specialist recommends surgery.

Yup, open-heart surgery. I don't know the details of the procedure yet, but in a couple days I should know when it's scheduled, and I hope to have a consult with the surgeon so I know exactly what I'm getting into. I do know it'll involve a 5-7 day stay at the Clinic, and we're figuring on a few weeks recovery time at home. The up side is, my specialist is one of the top doctors in the country with HCM, the surgeon is also one of the best in the country, and I'll be at the Cleveland Clinic (which, as a friend of mine says, "invented the heart"). So I'm in very good hands.

Kim & I are dealing with this, each in our own way, with varying levels of freaking out. I'll be wigging worse as it gets closer, and she'll be getting better as 'crisis-handling mode' takes over. So between us, we should be okay. We (which will mostly wind up being Kim) will keep you all posted on the progress of things.

We have a date.

May 5.

He will have a full sternal procedure, which means that they will open his breast bone. There may also be a repair done too if they find it necessary. He will be in ICU the first night and in a step down room 4-5 days. He will have a 6 week recovery and may be cleared to return to work after 4 weeks for light duty. He will not be allowed to drive during this time.

He will have to go under another chest x-ray and EKG (which he just had on March 28, but it will be more that 30 days....) and a heart cath which was already ordered by his cardiologist (which is why he was sent to the specialist in the first place!)

I do have some good news today. My newest cousin was born last Friday. Her name is Rose Mary Wenning and she is 7 lbs. and 4 oz. All are doing well.

Yesterday, Narzain had a heart cath and they found 2 blocked arteries, one major one (70%) and one minor (not sure just how blocked) Today, we met with the surgeon who was very nice and he said they will bypass both arteries while they are in there. Narzain's age (just turned 40 in February) is in his favor as well as the fact that his over all health is excellent. The procedure will be 5 hours and we will not know until next Wednesday evening which of the 2 surgery groups he will be in, 5:15 a.m. arrival or 10:00 a.m. arrival.

I will not be near a computer until May 6, but I will let all of you know what is going on.

O.K. my head has been up my hind-end for a few days. Narzain is just fine and recovering nicely. His surgeon said that he may be home by Wednesday or Thursday, and that Narz looks really good. Buddy boy took his first walk in the hall yesterday and spent most of the day in a chair, and by last night, was reading a book, which he has not done since being admitted.

He came home yesterday. He will be staying with me until I and he feel that he can handle being back at his apartment. His apartment is an old house that was split into 4 flats and he must go up 2 flights (short ones like you would find in your home) but stairs all the same. I took him to my salon to have his hair washed and get a shave, both are his first is a week. He felt much better.

I finally slept for the first time in a week last night. I think I can finally get my anxiety to "stand down".

Hey, all. I'm back in the real world. Doing pretty well. I get a rasp in my throat pretty often which makes me couch (no fun at all), but I have very little actual pain. More like a baseline discomfort unless I try to move more than I should (or in a way I shouldn't). And, of course, everything makes me tired. But other than that, I'm feeling well and alert.

Thanks for your support & positive energy!

He means cough, not couch by the way. He walks very well too, so that is a plus. I too thank all of you for positive thoughts and the prayers. I am so grateful to have him home.

So, Narzain is now back at home after spending 2 weeks with me. His landlord has chosen to put the property up for sale instead of making the repairs it has sorely needed for a long time, so now our next task is finding Narz a place to live before it becomes an issue.

I had my first car accident today. I am fine. The car,not so much. Not totaled, but not driveable either. I am shaken up and weather is the very utmost cause. Snow. I was going slowly and was on my way to the library. I turned the corner and car met curb. The right front tire is UNDER the car. See, when I break something, I don't go half-way.

Well, I am fine, the car is back and I have my check from the insurance company. My mechanic was able to fix it with no problem, and it turns out that it was mechanical failure and not driver error that caused my problem. My control arm (for those of you who don't speak car, that is what makes the wheel turn) broke. This is a very delicate part and a good pot hole can fracture one. My mechanic thinks this may be the case and that I must have hit ice or something causing just enough torque to snap it.

All in all, not a bad situation, and now I can make jokes. Saturday, I was shaking and crying throughout the day. I have never had been in or had an accident before. So, as a first time for everything moment, not a bad one.

On Leap Day, Kim Harrison, author of the Rachel Morgan urban fantasy books, came to a branch of my library system. Not only did she Q & A a question for me, we all got meet and greet with her. I too my omnibus of the first 3 books to be signed and got an early b-day prezzie from the boyfriend of the new book that just came out, so I got to have BOTH signed! Not only that, I and the boyfriend had our picture taken by Kim's husband and it is on her site, kimharrison.net, under events, look for the Cleveland appearance, or check out my profile page, and you can see it in my photo gallery.

I have now completed the wedding bouquets and men's lapel flowers for my best friend's up coming wedding. The pictures are available on my profile for those who are interested. Our own co-moderator, Paul, is making the cake, so photos of that will also be available from one or both of us after he makes it.

I got a scary email yesterday. My best friend Karen (I have 3 total, Connie, Karen and Kelley) emailed me to tell me that she found a lump yesterday morning. She is working on getting a mammogram scheduled ASAP. I will be going with her to her appointment and I will keep you posted.

The new avatar is my way of showing my support.

Karen has an appointment for Friday (5/25) at 9:15 in the morning.

Just came from the mammogram. Karen is just fine. If it gets bigger or a problem, she is to come back.

This is very hard for me to type this. I got a call from Kelley last night, to tell me bad news. It appears that one of their dogs decided to make a commentary on the up coming wedding on Saturday. Kelley's fiance raises pure bread Mastiffs. They only have a few at a time, and one female (fixed) is their family pet. The male stud was home from a recent stud out and was in the yard. Their personal dog, Candy was in the basement as she and Max do not get along. (He's a little young for her to keep up with.)

To set the scene, Kelley was worried that I had made her bouquet too long and that it would catch on her dress (which I have not seen) so she and her sister were going to shorten it (I offered) on Saturday. Kelley's future mother in law was also over. Her future let in Max, who looks nothing like Candy, who then promptly worried the bridal bouquet to shreds and then, peed on it.

Needless to say, a new bouquet was ordered on line, her future mother in-law paid for it,and 2 hours of my life are gone with a stupid act by a stupid person (trust me,there is precedent here). Kelley is upset, I am hurt, and the new bouquet is at her sisters house for safe keeping.


At least I have pictures.

Y'all are gonna love this one.

I was telling one of the Y employees on Wednesday what had happened to the flowers as she is quite interested in what I did and how the wedding stuff is going along. Another patron overheard us,looked me right in the eyes,and said, "Well, that should be a lesson in humility for you." and walked away. To say my gob had been smacked was an understatement.

Me,a humility lesson? Am I that arrogant?

Well, the wedding went well. I have posted a few pictures on my profile. I did not get the wedding party as I wanted to because there were no photo ops at the wedding and they did not bring their flowers to the reception. I hope to get a digital photo from the bride when they get home from the family honeymoon.

So, the bride wore a white ball gown with crystals and a sweetheart corset top, strapless dress with a lace bolero and tiara. She was absolutely gorgeous. The bridesmaids all wore strapless floor length satin with a "diamond" detail at the one hip, with bolero jackets. The color was a deep,rich Marine blue. The groom and ushers were in black tuxes with Marine Blue pocket squares and white shirts.

The bride wore a second gown to the reception as the ceremony gown was borrowed from a family friend. For the reception, she wore a strapless satin sheath style gown with crystal detail at the waist and cross-cross ruched sweet-heart neckline and a lace bolero, and the train was pinned up.

The ring bearer and flower girl were both dressed in their First Communion dresses with matching Marine blue sashes and tiny tiaras.

The food was banquet hall food, but the bar! EEEEE! It was cheaper to provide their own liquor than have the hall do it, so it was top shelf all the way baby!

I, who do not drink, had 2 Tanqueray Gin and Tonics, 4 glassed of champagne, Kahlua and cream, and a shot of Cuervo 1800 Tequila with the bride. No hangover, never got sick. (Big grin.) I learned that I like Amaretto Sours but I do NOT like Dewars. (UGH!)

I danced. I shook my groove thing,I shook what my mamma gave me, and I dropped it like it's hot.

I had a blast.



Went to the doctor today for regular appointment.

I am now at 351.2 lbs. I have lost more weight!

I am in need of prayers for myself. I went to the eye doctor on Tuesday and I now need too see a specialist. All my doctor could say is that something is "not right" with my right macular. I need to see a specialist and she can work with my regular doctor to get me a referral to the Cleveland Clinic Eye Center.

Here's the scary part. I can only see 100% out of my right eye. I had a bleeding retina in my left several years ago that left me with a center dead spot. I have peripheral, but not dead center. So, fear is a big part right now.

I am at a day by day thing right now. I must stress that my vision is just fine, and that hopefully this is a normal thing for me that she just hasn't noticed before or wasn't enough of a concern before to be noted.

I will keep you posted.

I will be seeing the specialist on Monday, 12/10. He is THE best and the same doctor I saw for my other eye, so I feel better about that, but still scared.

I'm fine by the way. I was there almost 3 hours, saw the doctor for 5 minutes, and was pronounced just fine.

So... I am having a LOT of pain in my left leg recently, at night. Waking up every two to three hours from the pain. I went to the doctor's office and he diagnosed inflamed bursa and t-strap. He sent me for x-rays and the results posted on mychart. Test results posted on mychart. I now apparently have:
Disk space narrowing, vacuum disk Phenomenon and endplate spurring at the lower four lumbar levels consistent with
degenerative disk disease. Multilevel degenerative facet changes are seen as well. There is mild dextroscoliosis of the lumbar spine. There is mild marginal spurring at the left hip. Mild osteoarthritis at the left hip.

I am going to find a teaching position with insurance how? I am going to work 20 years there how? Color me depressed :(

Oh, man, I am sorry to hear that. Do you think getting financial assistance/HCAP will help?

Again, I say BIG HUGS. We are here for you.

Thank you both... it means a lot :)As to HCAP... not sure as yet. I'll know a little more after I see the doc on the 28th

My aunt Pat is not doing well and I ask for your thoughts and prayers. She is my grandma's last sibling. All of the in-laws are gone as well. She has been in nursing home for over a year now, after living in assisted living for a few years. I am asking for enough time for grandma to get in her goodbyes and for my aunt to go quietly into that goodnight.

Energies sent :)

My aunt passed quietly late Thursday/early Friday. Grandma got her goodbyes in and now my late uncle Hugh has gotten his favorite dance partner back.

My condolences dear friend. Huggies.

Thank you.

As of Saturday, April 27, Aaron's landlord (whom he has had for only 1 year) put the building up for sale yet again. Many of you may recall that the building went up 2 years ago, one week after Aaron's open heart surgery. Well, this coming Sunday, May 5 will mark two years for that and this Wednesday will mark one year since his lease started. Convenient isn't it? No notice can be given by tenants to move out and they will be there until a new owner takes over. Any new owner will have to keep the lease as is until it expires, unless they want to condemn and tear it down, then they must give 90 days notice. Aaron cannot afford more than what he pays now and in order to stay with the low-cost clinic we are a part of, he must not move into the city of Cleveland or he will lose his care. He cannot afford what is offered via his work, so you can see our situation.

On a higher note, we became mouse parents again after losing our remaining two at Christmas. We now welcome a dulche de leche colored girl named Dusty (as in Springfield), a gray and white girl called Pogo (she has a possum face of half gray and white) and Tatianna, a light brown,(kinda like a ferret brown) girl to our lives.

If stress were on a 1-10 scale, I would be at 20 right now. I went to the Y yesterday to be told that my membership does not exist. For some reason the computer says that my scholarship was denied, but my paperwork is in the approved folder. The desk clerk knows me and let me go swimming anyway because 1) she could SEE the paper work in the right folder 2) she knows me and 3) I was the third person with this problem. For me the stress is what if the paperwork is in the wrong place and I really did lose my scholarship.

I won't know anything until at least Monday because (conveniently as usual) the membership person wasn't going to be there until after 3:30 and the main offices close early on Friday.



AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We lost Pogo last night and Tatianna seems to be following her. Dusty seems well. We have had them only a week and one day. I am so stressed that I cannot even cry or grieve.

I am going to the Y this afternoon to see if the mess is fixed and if not, see how it can be fixed.

My stress is nearing Pluto.

Oh no. I am so sorry to hear that :(

Hugs and comfort to you my dear friend.

So, for all of you who aren't in my other groups and haven't seen this, the Y issue is resolved and I am indeed a member. My paperwork was in the wrong place.

As for Tatianna, I am under the impression that she is hanging in there. Narzain has a bug and was too unfocused last night to check. I will be checking in on him later after the Y, so I will find out myself.

We have decided that should Dusty be fine, we will get her 1 roommate. Otherwise, we will try again, but we think we will try to find someone local who breeds mice and rats as a hobby.

Tatiana is doing fine; she's favoring one paw, and isn't as steady on the ladders as she was, but she's active and eating. Dusty is also fine, and has been a wonderful sister to Tatiana, keeping her warm and comfortable while she was sick.

As of last night, Tati is not doing well. She appears to have rallied but is now lapsing back to where she was last week. We are just waiting now.

And in a cruel twist of fate, we lost Tatiana last night. One week to the day after losing Pogo. When I got home, she was laying very still, partly on her side in the entrance to their plastic igloo, and her eyes were closed. I tried blowing on her to rouse her, but only disturbed Dusty, who was sleeping next to her. I went to get the supplies to remove her, but then she drew two deep breaths. At the time I thought she was letting me know she was still holding on. Now I think they were her last breaths. I checked on her just before bed, and she was gone.

Dusty seems mostly okay, if a bit lost and shell-shocked. She was always the most skittish and standoffish of the three, though she will take crackers from me by now.

I am not dealing with this terribly well right now.

I am so sorry to hear about the loss. Much comfort to you my friend.

I am too numb to cry yet. I am going to purchase a companion for Dusty today after I go swimming and rid myself of some of this stress. Narzain is still recovering from whatever he had last week and this has been weighing on us as we have been holding a collective breath.

Dusty's new roommate, Endora, is absolutely adorable! Alas, she is also an escape artist. This morning I found her sitting on top of the cage; she got out, but couldn't get back in to where the food and water live. Fortunately, she is not shy about being handled, and let me pick her right up and put her back inside. Hopefully this experience "scared her straight," so I don't have to wonder where she'll be whenever I leave the room...

A teleporting mouse,just what we need!

All humor aside, Dusty passed yesterday. Endora seems to be o.k. I am going out to find her a companion today.

We now have a total of three mice, and a story. So, yesterday Kim went back to the pet store where she got Endora (who were supposed to be getting more female mice in on Friday) to get her a new roommate. Well, they meant NEXT Friday, sorry. So, option two, the store nearest my place, where she got a nice-looking mouse. What neither she nor the store employee could tell at the time was, that one was a boy. Apparently he was tense & spraying that unique boy-mouse musk on the drive, and his little nuts were a little more obvious then. Oops. Easy mistake.

Not wanting to circle back around, she went to another shop nearer to her place, where she found two adorable girls: Esmerelda, an all chinchilla-grey cutie, and Serena, a study in black and white. They stayed at Kim's place until I came by after work. Then they moved in with Endora, and hit it off immediately. They also started climbing the walls immediately; two ninja mice in the house!

What happened to the errant boy, you ask? We took him back this morning, with many apologies and declarations that he didn't do anything wrong, we just can't have a boy mouse. We're trying NOT to go into the baby mouse business. They took him back no problem; I last saw him heading for the igloo in the store's display cage.

All's (hopefully) well that ends well. Our three girls are active (and staying inside the cage). Perhaps de-stressing can now commence? One hopes.

Any errors in relating this story are all mine, and I apologize on behalf of my brain.

We are excited about the ninja mouse thing,as it is fun to watch them climb. As of Friday evening, the two newbies were climbing upside down. (By the way, Narzain you did a great job of relating what happened.)

I knew something wasn't right when the smell started in the car. I haven't smelled that since Etoille and Sol so I knew that that meant! Unpleasant is one word for it.

On Saturday, while we were at the library, my contact lens was irritating my left eye. I went to remove it, and could not find it. My eye was still bothering me, so I thought my contact had migrated to above and or behind my eyeball. I'm panicking,thinking I need to go to the ER and have my eye flushed out. It was on the desk. It blended in with the desk. They are lightly tinted to bee seen when you drop one, except the desk is the same color as the tint. So, there I am, with only one eye to see with, trying to type.

Not good.

Thankfully, I wear disposable ones, and have backups. We were close to my house and it was quickly fixed.

Sheesh!

Miss Endora is indeed an escape artist. She has gotten loose 3 times this wee, twice in one hour while Narzain was there to catch her. Not in the actual act, but close. The cage is now clamped,covered with parts from the old cage and things have been removed from inside the cage that may have provided leverage for Miss Tiny Henie. Come on growth spurt!

The precautions seem to be adequate, as Miss Endora has since stayed inside the cage. Now if I can just get her and Esmerelda to stop fussing at each other...

Serena just stays out of those arguments. Smart girl.

SAD AND EMOTIONAL POST ALERT





This morning was a sad one, as it saw the loss of our Endora. Just after 7 am, I went by the cage and offered goldfish crackers (the treat of choice) to the girls. Serena and Esmerelda took theirs, but Endora was laying on the second level of the cage with her legs hanging through the bars, not responding. I reached in and supported her legs; she moved over to the side of the cage and lay back down. Within a few minutes, she took two deep breaths which I think were her last.

I took her out and held her for nearly a half hour, looking for any sign of breathing, but she was gone. This hit me hard, as I have become very attached to the cute little escape artist. I don't know if she had a sudden illness (she was fine last night), or if one of her escapes had somehow damaged her inside, and it caught up to her this morning. She did not seem to be in pain, thank goodness.

I think what hits me the most is the fact that she always came back to me. Always. Except this time.