Young Writers discussion

Well … I think you know what to do. Just keep it PG-13. ;)

How do you keep a sex scene PG-13?

Darn. I already posted my only sex scene.

Joshua wrote: "How do you keep a sex scene PG-13?"

Um, you don't use the word "penis" in it?
Like, I dunno … not too detailed. No erotica, please.

Lav [where was I when the rockets came to life] wrote: "Darn. I already posted my only sex scene."

You can post it again. I don't think anyone minds.

There's a method called 'fade to black', which means you don't go into every little nasty detail.

HERE IS MINE. It's sort of a sex scene.

“I think my dad has an old Boston record somewhere,” Alan tells me after I’m finished obsessing over the old band I just discovered. He says it like it’s no big deal and continues eating his celery and Sun Chips. I slowly shove my Snickers bar to the back of my lunch sack. I’m not in the mood for a health lecture. . “You could come over after school and we could listen to it. If you want.”

“Alan,” I say grabbing his arm. “You have a freaking record player? Since when do you have a record player? Holy crap, you really have a record player?”

He glances at me like I’m somewhat crazy but he smiles that giant smile of his and nods, slipping his arm around my shoulders. Obviously it’s not that important to him, so I stifle the squeal threatening to escape and pretend to be amused by his friends’ stupid chatter. And I can’t help but entertain the thought of Hayden and how he’d be just as excited as I was.

Gah. No. I can’t let him back into my head. It’s over. It’s over and I need to move on. I have Alan, who tells me I’m pretty and makes me laugh. And I’m happy. I am. Alan is… amazing.

The bell rings and Alan looks at me, and I know he’s wanting a goodbye kiss, but I just hug him because my brain can’t handle anything more than that at this point. And he knows that. He knows that, because I’ve explained it to him at least fifty times and every time he says he understands.

So he shouldn’t be pouting like some stupid little girl because all I did was hug him. I really like Alan, but sometimes he smothers me and I really can’t take that.

We don’t talk on our way out, and I think he’s mad, until he says, “Are you coming?”

“Course,” I tell him, still super excited. Let him think I’m excited about hanging out with him even more and not the record player.

School drags by so slowly and the affect of no music during school is bothering me a lot more than it normally does, as it’s coupled with anticipation. But it finally ends, as all things end sometime, and I rush to my locker and quickly cram all my books into my backpack, ready to go to Alan’s.

I inevitably pass Hayden in the hallway but I force myself to look away from the back of his head. I force myself not to think about the way his hair feels. I force myself not to think about the way I felt so safe in his arms. I force myself not to think about his lips pressed to mine and… and then I’m walking as fast as I can so I don’t tackle him. That probably wouldn’t go over well with Anna. Or Hayden, for that matter.
The feelings are quickly buried when I step outside and Alan’s arms sneak up on me and he captures me, wrapping them around my waist. He smells good. So I tell him that. He laughs and squeezes tighter. I try to pull away, but he doesn’t let go, so I just let him stay like that as we walk to his car.

He won’t turn on the radio so we just talk on the way to his place. We don’t talk about much. Typical boyfriend/girlfriend stuff, I guess. What our plans for the future are (he wants to be a personal trainer and I want to be a psychologist) , what we like most about each other’s looks (I like his eyes and he likes my lips) and by my suggestion what we like most about each other’s personalities (he makes me laugh and apparently he’s always happy around me) and then we talk about music even though he doesn’t get quite as passionate about it as I do.

But as soon as he pulls into his driveway I fling open the door and run inside, not able to wait another second. I need to see that record. I’ve always liked vintage stuff. Vintage music? Yeah, it’s basically the most awesome thing in the world.

He follows me up to his room and tells me he’ll be right back with the record, because it’s with his dad’s stuff. I sit down on his bed, leaning against the mountain of pillows he has built up at the head of his bed. His room is oddly clean. Nothing on the floor, everything on his shelves, clothes actually in the clothes basket. No posters on the wall, and all his CDs are on a rack. I wonder if he cleaned it himself, or if his mom does it for him. And then I realize. There’s no record player in his room. You can’t play a record without a record player.

“Dork,” I say when he walks back in. “You can’t play a record without a…” But he’s not holding a record either.

He sits down on the other side of the bed and looks at me and for some reason I start shivering. “Are you cold?” he asks and when I nod he scoots closer and tries to wrap his arms around me again. But I’ve had enough of that for one day and I push his arms off.

“Don’t touch me,” I snap.

But he just gets closer. “Calm down, Alice,” he whispers. “I just want to hug you. You’re cold. And besides, you like my hugs.”

I scoot over on the bed and frown. “Right now I like my space.”

He ignores me and brushes my thigh with his hand. “Have I ever told you I think you’re pretty?”

“Where’s the Boston record?” I ask him, nervously.
He doesn’t answer me. Instead he grabs my shoulders and kisses my forehead, leaving his face dangerously close to mine. I can feel his hot breath on my skin and my heart starts to pound. I shove him as hard as I can and roll off the bed.

But before I can stand up, he’s on top of me, pressing me down into the ground so hard I can feel the carpet rubbing against my bare skin and I try to scream but his lips are smashing up against mine and I can’t make any sound come out and I can barely even breathe and the way our first kiss happens doesn’t feel like love at all.

He takes a break and I turn my head away, still trying to get up, but he just grabs my head and pulls it back to where he can kiss me again and again and then he’s touching me and I don’t like it but he won’t stop.

Leave me alone. Just leave me alone. Please. Please leave me alone. I don’t want to do this. Stop. Stop. No. You’re hurting me. Alan, you’re hurting me. Please. Please, Alan, stop. I don’t want to do this. Don’t touch me… don’t you dare touch me… not like that…

And he does leave me alone. He does stop. After he has what he wanted.

Kriss wrote: "There's a method called 'fade to black', which means you don't go into every little nasty detail."

A-yupp.

Lav [where was I when the rockets came to life] wrote: "HERE IS MINE. It's sort of a sex scene.

“I think my dad has an old Boston record somewhere,” Alan tells me after I’m finished obsessing over the old band I just discovered. He says it like it’s ..."

Pretty sure I've said this before but AWESOME!! :)

Ummm yaaaay here's my only sex scene and it's not really a sex scene … It's from Unraveling.

At the top of the stairs, he opens the door to his room. It feels like forever since I've been in here. I can't see how much of it has changed, because he doesn't turn the lights on. The only light comes from a streetlight outside the window. Webs of color burst across my vision, as my eyes struggle to adjust.

Elijah closes the door. Before I know what's happening, he has his hands on my shoulders and he's pushing me up against the wall. Somehow, his lips find mine in the darkness. His hands are on my waist, inching up the back of my shirt, traveling the path of my spine. I can't breathe. My mind has gone supernova, exploding and then collapsing in on itself. I'm burning on the inside––a sensation that leaves me feeling both sick and exhilarated.

I have no control anymore. But what surprises me more is that I don't care. I feel like our hands are everywhere at once––in each other's hair, catching on fabric, exploring skin. He keeps holding me against the wall, touching me in ways that drive my mind even further into an indescribable emptiness.

Then he's pulling me away from the wall, leading me a few paces across the room. I feel myself fall back onto the bed, his weight shifting the mattress as he climbs onto it. His fingers fumble, brushing against my stomach before they find the waistline of my jeans.

Finally, the weight seems to lift from my chest. My sanity sputters in one last, dying attempt to save itself. “Wait,” I croak out.

“It's all right,” Elijah says, but instead of comforting me, the softness in his voice only makes the coldness rush through me again.

I try to get up, propping myself up on my elbows. “No, I … Look, I've … never done this.”

He doesn't move. “Hey, don't worry. I've got something. We'll be safe.”

That's when I realize that I don't know him, after all––because I was waiting for him to say that he'd never done this, either. But he seems so calm, so prepared, so … experienced.

The truth paralyzes me. I sink back down again, feeling the fight inside of me die. I watch the ceiling, hear my own jeans snap open, feel the rough fabric rub against my skin as he pulls at them. My eyes start to sting as I wait silently for the pain.

It comes not long after, ripping through me as something inside of me breaks open. I shut my eyes, biting back the cry that tries to escape from my throat. I try to separate from reality, not to feel the discomfort, to feel his body crushing mine. I'm somewhere else, watching from above, seeing myself lying there like a butterfly pinned to a board––body broken, wings torn.

And of all things, I can only think of what he said to me not long ago …

“I never thought that you were like her.”

And I'm not. I'm not like you.

I'm not like you.

It was … a metaphor.

♥ Brigid ♥ wrote: "It was … a metaphor."

Hahaha, this made me laugh :)

Rebekka wrote: "♥ Brigid ♥ wrote: "It was … a metaphor."
Yayayayayay. :D

*facepalm* I hate this. I always get like this whenever I find something NEW to love. D:>"

Uhhh? Get like what?

Jayda wrote: "♥ Brigid ♥ wrote: "It was … a metaphor."

Hahaha, this made me laugh :)"

lol XD

You're fangirling over my sex scene? Or metaphors? Or … what? AAHH I'M TOTALLY CONFUSED. Also it's past midnight and I'm so tired ...

I think she's saying that she's fangirling over sex.

This is the closest this group has gotten to a porn topic. Well, technically it is. But not quite.

SKitts/Cassie [swimming through sick lullabies] wrote: "This is the closest this group has gotten to a porn topic. Well, technically it is. But not quite."

Serouisly?! WTH! My mom is going to ask me about goodreads and I get to tell her about how this is as close this group has gotten to a porn topic and how conundrum looks like condom?!?!?!

Lav [where was I when the rockets came to life] wrote: "HERE IS MINE. It's sort of a sex scene.

“I think my dad has an old Boston record somewhere,” Alan tells me after I’m finished obsessing over the old band I just discovered. He says it like it’s ..."

LAV WROTE A SEX SCENE. WHY DID I NOT KNOW THIS?
Very very good.


I'll read everyone else's soon. I just saw this and felt the need to read it.

Ava Fompledump (Where's my happy ending?) wrote: "SKitts/Cassie [swimming through sick lullabies] wrote: "This is the closest this group has gotten to a porn topic. Well, technically it is. But not quite."

Serouisly?! WTH! My mom is going to as..."

Well, you don't have to look at this topic. I honestly don't want to read sex scenes nor do I want to write any. I just had to comment about the topic itself.

SKitts/Cassie [swimming through sick lullabies] wrote: "Ava Fompledump (Where's my happy ending?) wrote: "SKitts/Cassie [swimming through sick lullabies] wrote: "This is the closest this group has gotten to a porn topic. Well, technically it is. But not..."

Yes.. I know I don't have to. But I have now. Plus personaly, its kinda interesting to read.. hehe..

Hey! This topic isn't that bad. I like it.

I love how Maria hasn't de-birded her title yet.

I love that too!

Maria, are you on your laptop??

That's because Maria hasn't been on WWAC on her computer for aages.

Except for she is now. So now she will. After she yells at Pandora for not working on her stupid computer.

*smiles* Maria!!

Hi Ava!
I think I'm going to go and write after I check this group.

A massive woman, a monstrous whale of a woman, stood, the fat of her breasts rolling on top of the fat of her stomach. Her nightgown seemed to disappear within the creases of her own body. Her hair was not done, and frayed and fizzed in every direction. She was smiling, revealing yellow and black teeth where there were teeth to be found. She stood in front of a small table with a makeshift leg. On the table was something Johnny couldn’t understand. A collection of arms and legs and a head and a body mixed up in a way that resembled a human, but he could not bring himself to call it one. Its eyes were small and far away from each other, and its forehead took up more than half of its head. Its crooked penis was visible and the whale was roughly stroking it with a hand, grunting as she did. The thing on the table made strange gasping noises, almost as if it was choking on its own saliva.

That's about the best I got.

Baxter wrote: "A massive woman, a monstrous whale of a woman, stood, the fat of her breasts rolling on top of the fat of her stomach. Her nightgown seemed to disappear within the creases of her own body. Her hair..."

Well, uh. Very strong imagery. I like it. XD

Truthfully, I think implied sex scene are a lot better than full blown out details. Of course, that is if the writer is not writing just for the sake of adding more words if you know what I mean. Just get this. If the sex scene is more than a page and is not the main focus of you book (why would it be?), you've got too much detail. That's like gross-out right there. Ha. I believe I have unfortunately read some scenes like that where I just skipped the page. :/

Rebekka wrote: "Picture wrote: "Truthfully, I think implied sex scene are a lot better than full blown out details. Of course, that is if the writer is not writing just for the sake of adding more words if you kn..."

Yes, yes, I understand. My advice kind of is for YA fiction authors. Teen audiences. I don't think that it really matters with adult fiction. :) But anyway, there's always that iffy side of it. I myself have never written a sex scene, but I'm talking out of reading experience. I guess it depends on what kind of connection you want between your two characters in your story. In the end, it's the author's decision.

As I'm only fifteen, I wouldn't know. Lol. But your character sounds very moving like someone I would want to read about. Good luck with your story! :)

Rebekka wrote: "Picture wrote: "Rebekka wrote: "Picture wrote: "Truthfully, I think implied sex scene are a lot better than full blown out details. Of course, that is if the writer is not writing just for the sa..."

Agreed. I've learned, more or less, sex scenes are a good way of expressing the personality of your character and then building on it from there. I've also learned that they always need to contribute to the book or plot or character in some way... excluding random erotica :D ... which I don't read, by the way.

Picture wrote: "Yes, yes, I understand. My advice kind of is for YA fiction authors. Teen audiences. I don't think that it really matters with adult fiction. :) But anyway, there's always that iffy side of it. I myself have never written a sex scene, but I'm talking out of reading experience. I guess it depends on what kind of connection you want between your two characters in your story. In the end, it's the author's decision."

I actually think it's more of a problem with adult fiction than it is in YA fiction. Most YA authors stay away from full-out sex scenes because they know it's too controversial. There's a lot more sex in adult books, and a lot of it is pretty unnecessary––which is why I generally find YA fiction more interesting. Adult fiction is sometimes like "Sex sex sex, yada yada ..."

Like Kriss and Rebekka have said, sex needs to have a purpose in the story and reveal something about the characters. For example, I just finished reading the Millennium trilogy, and there's a fair amount of sex in those. The scenes aren't extremely detailed, but the main character does have sex with a lot of people. She's a really great and intriguing character, and the sex-addict part is one of the characteristics that makes her so intriguing. You can tell by the way she's desperate to have sex with anyone––regardless of age, gender, marital status, etc.––that she's dealing with some heavy emotional and psychological issues.

♥ Brigid ♥ wrote: "Picture wrote: "Yes, yes, I understand. My advice kind of is for YA fiction authors. Teen audiences. I don't think that it really matters with adult fiction. :) But anyway, there's always that iff..."

What I meant with that was YA fiction should not have full-out sex scenes. I don't know much about adult fiction. I don't think right now if I'll ever become an adult fiction writer, but I understand about what you are saying. I was just saying that YA fiction should not have full-out sex scenes because it's YA fiction. Nothing you want your twelve-year-old cousin reading. And nothing you want any kid below the age of twelve reading. Uh uh.

But yes, I've never read scenes where sex has a purpose in the story. Usually, the only purpose I find within the book for sex is to irritate the reader (me). Especially in Willow (the cutter girl book) and others books like it. It's just so weird especially if the two characters just met each other months ago. *shudders* Romeo and Juliet all over again. Ha.

Anyway, yes, your reasons for sex make sense. But you have to admit as a reader; it can get pretty awkward to read about such. Sometimes I feel like I'm intruding. Ha. I guess that feeling is a good thing in a way. The characters have become real to the reader and such.

Anyway, I'm just rambling. Anyways, good day! ("Good day" sounds better in a male British accent.)

-Picture Perfect

Picture wrote: "♥ Brigid ♥ wrote: "Picture wrote: "Yes, yes, I understand. My advice kind of is for YA fiction authors. Teen audiences. I don't think that it really matters with adult fiction. :) But anyway, ther..."

Well, that's a touchy subject. Personally, I don't really have a problem with 12-year-olds reading sex scenes. I mean, they've gotta learn about these things somewhere, right? As long as the book doesn't portray sex as something that will solve all your problems; if you're going to put sex in a YA book, it has to be realistic.

I agree about Willow though … I didn't care much for that book, and the sex ticked me off. :/

Oh god. I was like eleven when I read a sex scene for the first time. Really, not all that traumatizing compared to a lot of things. You'd be surprised about what twelve-year-olds know these days.

Mm. I've got that on my bookshelf. Willow, anyways.

The first sex scene I read was in I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings … and it was a rape scene … and I was 12. Haha. I remember being soooo weirded out.

I was... I dunno. All my books totally just blend together in my brain.

... I dunno when the first one I read was. I mostly remembering reading the BJ in Searching for Alaskan... and I was like... "Uhhh... okay o.o" but before that I'd read some sex scenes and hadn't been weirded out o.o

Yeah. I mean, I'm only 14 now, so even if it wasn't that long ago I was still pretty young. Same with you.

Yeahhh. I forget you're only a year older then me, Acacia xD

Kriss wrote: "... I dunno when the first one I read was. I mostly remembering reading the BJ in Searching for Alaskan... and I was like... "Uhhh... okay o.o" but before that I'd read some sex scenes and hadn't b..."

HAHA. Oh yeah. I love that scene.
"… Am I supposed to bite it?"

I think I need to write a sex scene in Breaking Glass in Chapter Twenty. I'm on Chapter Eighteen.

*headdesk*

HOORAY!

♥ Brigid ♥ wrote: "Kriss wrote: "... I dunno when the first one I read was. I mostly remembering reading the BJ in Searching for Alaskan... and I was like... "Uhhh... okay o.o" but before that I'd read some sex scene..."

I know XD it made me crack up.

I just wrote my very first sex scene! It reallllly sucks but it was fun.

Aaand here it is. >.<
By the way, the random turtle is for a dare...




Late one night I heard a note being slipped under my door. I dashed towards the other side of the room and read it.


Dear Elvira,
Tonight at midnight. Meet at my house? If you can sneak out after Watching, please do. I feel like talking to you. Send a response right back underneath the door.

Thanks!
The Person Who Always Sends You Notes


I grinned and rolled my eyes, imagining Danny sitting with his back to the other side of the door. His hair messed up and pressed against the wood, hiding in the corner so my brother didn’t come through the hallway and see him in our house. I was technically supposed to ask before I had a boyfriend, and I would be screwed if they found out.


Sure thing, I scrawled on a scrap of paper scattered on my floor.


Giddy at the thought of seeing him again, I could hardly breathe through Watching. Not that I really needed to breath, all I did the whole time was watch a black cat lick its paw. I had been watching this cat for the past month, and that was all it ever did. Lick, and lick, and lick. Occasionally scratch the mirror and then go back and lick.

At last I was able to bolt away, my heart racing, at 11:30. Time to see him again. Time to feel whole again, to banish this emptiness.


I knocked on his door lightly and he grabbed my hand, turning me around and leading me up the path. My knuckles were locked between his and we strode away from where his brother was sleeping soundly.

It was a slightly chilly night but I refused to let him put his arms around me. The wind curled around our ears and tied a package around our interlocking hands so we could not be separated.

A large oak tree brought both of our eyes immediately towards it. With a glance between the deep pits that were our brown eyes in these shadows, we ran to it. We let go of each other’s hands in time so we could jump on and climb the branches. We settled in a sturdy crook about 10 feet up. Our feet were touching and our hands still clasped over the space between us.

There was a silence held by that space that needed to be broken. It was not an awkward silence, simply an emptiness that was meant to be filled.

And so it was, by the voice of Danny wondering aloud, “I’ve always wondered if you could have sex in a tree.”

“You probably could, if it was big enough.”

“Yeah. Like as big as this tree.”

“I bet that we would be talented enough, even if nobody else could.”

“You confident?”

“I’m positive,” I reaffirmed.

“Let’s prove it. You just better not become positive.”

“Ha. You’re hilarious.”

“I know I am. Let’s see how fast we can take our clothes off.”

“Ready. Set. GO!”

It took about a minute total, my cloak and underclothes falling so many feet down and landing on top of an innocent turtle. I would save him later, after tonight.

Nothing passed through my mind about what my parents would say if they found out. All that I could think of was his skin against mine and us being together forever. After this our love would not be secret. It could not be, no matter how much I wanted to save the heart of Keetan.

I watched as Danny did the same at the other side of the tree, and realized that I had never seen a man completely naked before. It was a curious masterpiece. A beautiful one.

Every singly thought of that was pushed out of my mind as his warm lips began to explore my body and the only thing I could think was and this is perfection…

He pressed his body onto mine, pushing me into the soft bark and I could now cross something else off of my bucket list.

Lose my virginity in a tree in the middle of the night with my designated boyfriend’s brother.

There was no way to judge the amount of time I spent with him in the tree that night. Yet at one point, it ended. At first I just heard a slight shuffling. I assumed it was only the turtle and refused to release myself from Danny. His skin was too soft and everything was too perfect.

Then a voice sounded behind me, “What the hell are you doing with my woman?” I turned and saw the coldest stare I had ever set eyes on.

I returned the warmth and told Keetan with all the icy feeling that I could muster, “I have never been your woman. You do not own me. Fuck off.”

Everything was alright.

I love you, Maria. A bunch.

Hehehe.
CARA! *tackles*