Feelings: How does one define them? How it feels at the time; how others describe them? Within each emotion, there are sub emotions, meaning, while all emotions can be felt individually, they can all be felt together, as well. In fact, it is often rare that one experiences only a single emotion, like anger. For example, with anger come frustration, irritation, and aggressiveness. Jonathan Safran Foer uses shame as a key component in his novel Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close to shape the journey of the characters while they experience the sub emotions that come with it.
Everyone experiences the same emotions, but somehow, it is difficult to explain how they feel. Someone experiences shame when he or she feels bad about who they are, and it is usually self-caused. With shame, people often have feelings of embarrassment, regret, guilt, self-consciousness, and shyness, but it is important to distinguish the differences between them. One feels embarrassment when they believe his or her action is not socially acceptable, not necessarily morally wrong. Oskar gives himself bruises when he feels like he’s done something wrong or wants to distract himself from emotional pain (so he gives himself physical pain). He does not want other people to see his bruises, however, which is why he gives them to himself in places where people cannot see them.
Regret is to wish something happened differently. Oskar feels regret that his mom does not love him. He wishes things would be different between them. He wants her to care and, about his bruises “to ask [him] how [he] got them (even though she probably knows), and to feel sorry for [him] (because she should realize how hard things are for [him])…” (173). Oskar regrets that his relationship with his mother is not as good as his relationship was with his father. Similar to regret, someone feels guilt when he or she feels bad about his or her actions and want to make amends. Oskar’s Grandpa feels guilt for leaving his wife and son. The reader knows he feels guilt because he writes letters to his son (even though the son never receives them) and by the end of the novel, the Grandpa has returned to rekindle his relationship with him. Unfortunately, he is too late, as his son has already died, so instead, he starts a relationship with Oskar.
Self-consciousness is self-awareness, or examination of oneself through the eyes of others. When they were together, Oskar’s grandparents created Nothing Spaces or the areas “in which one could be assured of complete privacy, we agreed that we never would look at the marked-off zones, that they would be nonexistent territories in the apartment in which one could temporarily cease to exist…” (110). Not only did they want privacy, but they also wanted a place where they would not be judged.
Oskar’s Grandpa feels shyness, which is uneasiness or fear, towards speaking. It’s not that he was a shy person before he stopped speaking. He cut out certain words of his vocabulary because he couldn’t say “Anna”. It would not come out, and then all the words that resembled that word were cut out, and then so on and so forth. He was scared to say “Anna”. Often in life, if someone is shy, it’s because he or she is nervous. All the emotions above are very similar, yet the differences are extremely important in distinguishing one from another.
If embarrassment, regret, guilt, self-consciousness, and shyness are combined into guilt, then all the characters in the novel feel shame. Oskar for keeping his father’s messages from that fateful day a secret; the Grandpa for leaving his wife and son and not being able to come back; the Grandma for wanting the Nothing Spaces; Oskar’s mom for her husband’s death altogether.
In this novel, shame is a key component. Perhaps one of the reasons Oskar is so determined to figure out what the meaning of the key is and to talk to every Black in New York City is because he feels like he didn’t understand the meanings of the adventures his dad set up for him, making him want to solve the “mystery” one last time. Another reason shame “makes” the novel is because of one of the emotions within shame: regret. Before Oskar’s grandparents were married, his grandpa was in love with a woman named Anna. She was pregnant when she died, leaving Oskar’s grandpa without her. When he found out Oskar’s grandma was pregnant a few years later, he was scared that the same thing would happen again, so he fled. The fact that the grandpa is a somewhat mysterious character is very important to the story line because it leaves him communicating only through text, which is a big part of the novel.
Feelings: they’re all connected. How people deal with the feelings is different. Oskar gave himself bruises; his grandfather wrote instead of spoke; his grandmother created Nothing Spaces; his mother called each Black she knew Oskar would speak with to tell them to go along with his journey. Although each of these actions is so different, they all stem from the same emotion: shame.
Everyone experiences the same emotions, but somehow, it is difficult to explain how they feel. Someone experiences shame when he or she feels bad about who they are, and it is usually self-caused. With shame, people often have feelings of embarrassment, regret, guilt, self-consciousness, and shyness, but it is important to distinguish the differences between them. One feels embarrassment when they believe his or her action is not socially acceptable, not necessarily morally wrong. Oskar gives himself bruises when he feels like he’s done something wrong or wants to distract himself from emotional pain (so he gives himself physical pain). He does not want other people to see his bruises, however, which is why he gives them to himself in places where people cannot see them.
Regret is to wish something happened differently. Oskar feels regret that his mom does not love him. He wishes things would be different between them. He wants her to care and, about his bruises “to ask [him] how [he] got them (even though she probably knows), and to feel sorry for [him] (because she should realize how hard things are for [him])…” (173). Oskar regrets that his relationship with his mother is not as good as his relationship was with his father. Similar to regret, someone feels guilt when he or she feels bad about his or her actions and want to make amends. Oskar’s Grandpa feels guilt for leaving his wife and son. The reader knows he feels guilt because he writes letters to his son (even though the son never receives them) and by the end of the novel, the Grandpa has returned to rekindle his relationship with him. Unfortunately, he is too late, as his son has already died, so instead, he starts a relationship with Oskar.
Self-consciousness is self-awareness, or examination of oneself through the eyes of others. When they were together, Oskar’s grandparents created Nothing Spaces or the areas “in which one could be assured of complete privacy, we agreed that we never would look at the marked-off zones, that they would be nonexistent territories in the apartment in which one could temporarily cease to exist…” (110). Not only did they want privacy, but they also wanted a place where they would not be judged.
Oskar’s Grandpa feels shyness, which is uneasiness or fear, towards speaking. It’s not that he was a shy person before he stopped speaking. He cut out certain words of his vocabulary because he couldn’t say “Anna”. It would not come out, and then all the words that resembled that word were cut out, and then so on and so forth. He was scared to say “Anna”. Often in life, if someone is shy, it’s because he or she is nervous. All the emotions above are very similar, yet the differences are extremely important in distinguishing one from another.
If embarrassment, regret, guilt, self-consciousness, and shyness are combined into guilt, then all the characters in the novel feel shame. Oskar for keeping his father’s messages from that fateful day a secret; the Grandpa for leaving his wife and son and not being able to come back; the Grandma for wanting the Nothing Spaces; Oskar’s mom for her husband’s death altogether.
In this novel, shame is a key component. Perhaps one of the reasons Oskar is so determined to figure out what the meaning of the key is and to talk to every Black in New York City is because he feels like he didn’t understand the meanings of the adventures his dad set up for him, making him want to solve the “mystery” one last time. Another reason shame “makes” the novel is because of one of the emotions within shame: regret. Before Oskar’s grandparents were married, his grandpa was in love with a woman named Anna. She was pregnant when she died, leaving Oskar’s grandpa without her. When he found out Oskar’s grandma was pregnant a few years later, he was scared that the same thing would happen again, so he fled. The fact that the grandpa is a somewhat mysterious character is very important to the story line because it leaves him communicating only through text, which is a big part of the novel.
Feelings: they’re all connected. How people deal with the feelings is different. Oskar gave himself bruises; his grandfather wrote instead of spoke; his grandmother created Nothing Spaces; his mother called each Black she knew Oskar would speak with to tell them to go along with his journey. Although each of these actions is so different, they all stem from the same emotion: shame.