There is a reason behind Oskar’s grandmother not having a first name. A name gives us an identity, differentiates people, and most importantly a name allows us to be remembered for who we are and what we have done in our lifetime. Oskar’s grandmother is addressed by four names throughout the entirety of the book: Ms. Schmidt, Anna’s sweet little sister, Mrs. Schell, and Grandma. The title she mosts identifies with, however, is the title of being Oskar’s Grandma versus that of Thomas’ “loveless wife” or Anna’s “shadow sister”, both identities which she has outgrown but not erased.
“I came upon them kissing one afternoon in the field behind the shed behind our house. It made me so excited. It felt as if I were kissing someone. I had never kissed anyone. I was more excited than if it had been me.” (Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close, pg. 80)
Grandma’s young love for her sister is one of longing and wonderment. She loved her sister simply because she wanted to be her sister: a proverbial child who was everything and had everything she did not posses. Their innocent childhood intimacy propelled Grandma to fall in love with Anna, or at least the idea of her, and be forever entangled in Anna’s essence. They had shared almost everything, a room, a bed, happiness, sadness, a first kiss, watching Anna kiss Thomas for the first time, watching Anna and Thomas make love for first time, the tragedy in Dresden, and even shared things after Anna’s death. This strangely young and intimate love caused her to follow in Anna’s footsteps before they ever had been made. The life she led was not supposed to be her own, but that of her sister. She stepped in to fill her sister’s shoes because the love she had for her propelled her to try to preserve whatever was left of Anna’s memory. Never having lived a life of her own, she did anything and everything in order to feel close to her deceased family. Instead of marrying Anna, Thomas would marry “Anna’s sweet little sister” and she too would carry on her sister’s legacy by becoming impregnated by him.
“I don’t know if I’ve ever loved your Grandfather, but I’ve loved not being alone.” (Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close, pg. 309)
This dependency and affection for her sister transferred to the next best thing by marrying Thomas. He was, if nothing more, a keepsake from the past. He knew her father, he knew Dresden, and most importantly he loved Anna too. Even still, when they made love Thomas never looked her in the face so that the realization that she was not Anna did not sink in, the same way his sculptures always ended up resembling Anna instead of his wife. No matter how many times he tried changing the sculpture, he couldn’t get it right. The pieces simply did not fit; she was a woman who tried to live in someone else’s life. The nothing places grew when Thomas realized that he could not love anything less than Anna. The something spaces grew enough to realize she wanted something of her own, even though for the better part of her life the younger Schmidt sister would live in her sister’s shadow while failing to fill her shoes. That is, until Thomas Jr. Schell was born.
“Because why?” “Because I changed his diapers. And I couldn’t sleep on my stomach for two years. And I taught him how to speak. And I cried when he cried. And when he was unreasonable, he yelled at me.” (Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close, pg. 276)
Where Anna’s road ended, her sister’s bloomed and her love for her son and then grandson grew until the role became her. This is why she loved Oskar, because he gave her something of her own to love and have. She outgrew her sister’s shadow and could be remembered now as a loving mother and grandmother. In this sense, she was reborn. She was given a new purpose in life and something to love more than Anna. It was a new start, a new beginning, and a new chapter to her life. After Thomas Sr. returns, he sees the change in her and it is almost as if he never knew her. She had changed, was dominant, firm, and even forward. She demanded answers where once the questions never existed. In this behavior, she found closure. Thomas Jr.’s birth acted as the key to unlocking her life.
Some identities are gained from the beginning and some are earned later in life. Without an identity, you cannot be remembered. Remembering the past plays an important part in the novel, especially as the reader experiences identities that unravel to reveal their stories. Foer’s use of vague names such as “The Renter”, “Grandma”, and “Black” are crucial to the books storyline because the identities of the characters are withheld and what is known about each character is limited. This is why the complexity of “Grandma’s” identity is so important, because her character evolves and shifts drastically in the book as she goes through different phases. She stepped out of the darkness of Anna’s shadow and into the light of her own existence.
“I came upon them kissing one afternoon in the field behind the shed behind our house. It made me so excited. It felt as if I were kissing someone. I had never kissed anyone. I was more excited than if it had been me.” (Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close, pg. 80)
Grandma’s young love for her sister is one of longing and wonderment. She loved her sister simply because she wanted to be her sister: a proverbial child who was everything and had everything she did not posses. Their innocent childhood intimacy propelled Grandma to fall in love with Anna, or at least the idea of her, and be forever entangled in Anna’s essence. They had shared almost everything, a room, a bed, happiness, sadness, a first kiss, watching Anna kiss Thomas for the first time, watching Anna and Thomas make love for first time, the tragedy in Dresden, and even shared things after Anna’s death. This strangely young and intimate love caused her to follow in Anna’s footsteps before they ever had been made. The life she led was not supposed to be her own, but that of her sister. She stepped in to fill her sister’s shoes because the love she had for her propelled her to try to preserve whatever was left of Anna’s memory. Never having lived a life of her own, she did anything and everything in order to feel close to her deceased family. Instead of marrying Anna, Thomas would marry “Anna’s sweet little sister” and she too would carry on her sister’s legacy by becoming impregnated by him.
“I don’t know if I’ve ever loved your Grandfather, but I’ve loved not being alone.” (Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close, pg. 309)
This dependency and affection for her sister transferred to the next best thing by marrying Thomas. He was, if nothing more, a keepsake from the past. He knew her father, he knew Dresden, and most importantly he loved Anna too. Even still, when they made love Thomas never looked her in the face so that the realization that she was not Anna did not sink in, the same way his sculptures always ended up resembling Anna instead of his wife. No matter how many times he tried changing the sculpture, he couldn’t get it right. The pieces simply did not fit; she was a woman who tried to live in someone else’s life. The nothing places grew when Thomas realized that he could not love anything less than Anna. The something spaces grew enough to realize she wanted something of her own, even though for the better part of her life the younger Schmidt sister would live in her sister’s shadow while failing to fill her shoes. That is, until Thomas Jr. Schell was born.
“Because why?” “Because I changed his diapers. And I couldn’t sleep on my stomach for two years. And I taught him how to speak. And I cried when he cried. And when he was unreasonable, he yelled at me.” (Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close, pg. 276)
Where Anna’s road ended, her sister’s bloomed and her love for her son and then grandson grew until the role became her. This is why she loved Oskar, because he gave her something of her own to love and have. She outgrew her sister’s shadow and could be remembered now as a loving mother and grandmother. In this sense, she was reborn. She was given a new purpose in life and something to love more than Anna. It was a new start, a new beginning, and a new chapter to her life. After Thomas Sr. returns, he sees the change in her and it is almost as if he never knew her. She had changed, was dominant, firm, and even forward. She demanded answers where once the questions never existed. In this behavior, she found closure. Thomas Jr.’s birth acted as the key to unlocking her life.
Some identities are gained from the beginning and some are earned later in life. Without an identity, you cannot be remembered. Remembering the past plays an important part in the novel, especially as the reader experiences identities that unravel to reveal their stories. Foer’s use of vague names such as “The Renter”, “Grandma”, and “Black” are crucial to the books storyline because the identities of the characters are withheld and what is known about each character is limited. This is why the complexity of “Grandma’s” identity is so important, because her character evolves and shifts drastically in the book as she goes through different phases. She stepped out of the darkness of Anna’s shadow and into the light of her own existence.