Boulder Book Club discussion

This thread is meant to collect the worst lines and passages in the books we read. If possible, please note the book and page for reference.

It was a slow and laborious process, one that was labor intensive but not altogether illogical. - Boneshaker, pg. 43

I like the idea of this thread! I'll have some to add soon I'm sure! I think Adam's already got dibbs on "exploded slowly..." :(

Leading with her left hand, Briar crept up and out of her hole on leather-soled feet that didn't make a sound to disturb the disturbing silence. -Boneshaker, pg. 136

He spun and stumbled, and slipped and skidded across the scuffed marble floor that was soaked with his own blood. -Boneshaker, pg. 381

Not quite as egregious as my previous example, but still enough to give me pause.

Goddammit!!!!

pg 45 of Handmaid: "explode slowly"

That's twice!

From page 85 of "Pornografia:"

"In the hall we kissed the hand of the elderly lady's, petite and wizened, she gave off the aroma of herbs and medicaments -- and she diligently and carefully pressed our fingers."

Danuta Borchardt, the translator, has a habit of running sentences together, she separates them with commas. (See what I mean?) And here, what's up with the possessive form of "lady?" "Of the" already indicates that the hand was the lady's hand.

How did such poor English get past the editors at Grove Press?

"Blister it Connie, the wench has deserted me, and without a by-your-leave. Don't talk to me about problems I might have faced, when this one's knocked me on my arse."
He ignored Conrad's derisive snort. He stared at the now-empty berth next to Maiden Anne and still couldn't believe Georgie was gone.

Gentle Rogue is full of writing like this passage - characters snort and moan and make "rude noises" and smolder and pierce and growl almost as much as they speak - basically all body language is made explicit. All dialog is super-cheesy and over the top. All feelings are immediate and supraliminal ("still couldn't believe"? She left like two seconds ago, not two years ago). You don't have to exhaust yourself imagining anything, or deciphering any subtleties. Every plot point is laid out tediously in advance, so you don't even have to worry about being surprised. This seems likely endemic to the genre.

Not that I've read another romance novel (except 20 pages of "Fifty Shades of Grey", which was similarly preposterous). I read most of "The Story of O" years ago, and some Anais Nin, both classified as "Erotica" & definitely missing the element of romance.

...It can't be the case that nobody's written a more worthy romance novel. Maybe "Sophie's Choice"?

What about ERB? His novels are very romantic! The best romance novelist, by far, is Jane Austen. She writes in a style that's the opposite of what you describe, where the smallest gesture or omission can have deep significance.

I do enjoy a little Downton Abbey, which is fairly soapy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yoe3Co...

I think the point is that it's too overt & predictable. the formula requires tragedy, and in your beach reads, the tragedy doesn't last long or cut deep: it's like dropping your ice cream instead of watching your lover stolen away. Hypothesis: the "quality" difference is not the formula but only how subtly it's expressed? ERB is romantic in the beach novel sense, but insufficiently salacious to rise to the genere. I think it's a fair comparision in complexity & maturity though.

It does seem under-served. If you're willing to accept just romantic, (not sexy) I'll suggest 1000 Autumns. Time Traveller's Wife. Whipping star. Straight on 'till Morning. Summer of Katya.

Where are the good AND sexy novels?

It just occurred to me that "The English Patient" was pretty good in the romance dept. Pushkin's Eugene Onegin is great, too! But it might be easier to watch Chaikovsky's opera than to slog through a "verse" novel. If you do decide to read it, avoid the Nabokov translation. He was a brilliant novelist and a mind-blowing linguist, but a terrible translator.

How 'bout all those Kundera novels? They were kinda romantic, too.

Here's a Goodreads list: romance novels

Amen, Bill! So sad. BTW I liked English Patient better as a movie, but still. Interesting to try to apply "The Formula" G's proposed articulating to that book or others out of the beach/pulp genre: I think all the parts are still there! Maybe we shouldn't be surprised. In fact I'd say it's the same, except "smarter" whatever that means, and I can't elaborate on that except to say more subtle. That's why I've been comparing this nominally "junk" romance to other nominally "good" books we've read: to try to explore the question: "what the heck is the difference?"