Love With The Lights Off discussion

What do you think? Does profanity bother you in romances? Or any book for that matter? Do you feel it's necessary to illustrate a particular character's unsavory side or do you feel the author can devise a "better" way to illustrate that character's ugliness?

This is just a "personal" thing for me but when an author uses the "F"word & others to describe certain "moments" or uses the word constantly throughout the book..its a turn-off for me..and not likely III read another by them. I find it not romantic and distracting,and rather ruins the story...am I alone?

You are not alone and I think you described my feelings exactly. But then, overuse of any word in any novel is a turn off for me. With certain words, however, it takes a lot less to feel very overused. (Did that make sense? Sometimes, what I type makes perfect sense to me but not to others.)

:O)

There was an interesting post on this by Suspense/Thriller author Andrew E. Kaufman (also a Goodreads author) about this not too long ago. The comments that follow his post were most informative as well. http://crimefictioncollective.blogspo...

Thanks Linda, some very good points were made there,and ones I totally agree with from the authors point of view.There is nothing worse than picking up a book..the cover looks great..the back jacket info sounds good..you start to read and not even into the first chapter..their "doing it" and the words start.
Im not a prude by any means..Im from the time of the "Bodice Ripper" books and now those seem tame to whats out there now.Give me a STORY that draws me in & holds me,give me the "build-up" to the "moment" of the couple together,dont over do-it & leave some to the imagination..then HEA..balance yes? :)

Ah, I think you've hit it on the head, Sandi. The STORY should be the main focus and what happens and how things are said should flow naturally with the story ... not added just to spice it up or shock.

It doesn't necessarily bother me (I've had occasions where something really bad had happened or somebody did something so stupid that I cursed like a sailor myself...), but I do think it can be overdone which I would find annoying.

I definitely wouldn't want to read the f word (or other curse words) on every single page, but in a storyline ssituation where I can imagine I might let a bad word slip myself if I would be in the situation, it wouldn't bother me.

I keep swearing in my novels to a minumum. In my current series, the main character doesn't swear at all in the first book. In the second book she does it knowing it will shock the others in the room to silence. I find by only having character swear in extreme circumstances, it allows the reader to understand how out of control the characters life is becoming. **The more posts I read in this group, the more I feel like I am finding an online home!:-)**

Beth, I'm so glad to see your added comment there about feeling like you are finding an online home because that is exactly why this group came into being. "Romance" means so many different things to people though the middle ground has been somewhat ignored. We're glad you're here.

As for the rest of your comment and Jasja's, I totally agree ... withing proper context or circumstances it can definitely make the story more believable.

I don't mind profanity as long as it belongs in the story, or as Beth says, to make the characters show emotion.

I don't care for profanity just for the sake of profanity. Many movies do that, and it just irritates me. I can watch a movie and say, "here we go, and again, and again. Here comes another one, yup, there it is".
:))

Thanks Linda!

I don't have a problem with it, honestly. And as an aspiring writer of a romance in progress, I do use profanity. It's generally in conversations between characters, which I think adds a bit of reality to the way friends speak to each other. It's not over board or gratuitous, though.

I do not mind a few "d"s or "S"s scattered about, but at the "f" word, I draw a line. I was involved with a group for years and the language was quite ripe. To this day, I have a hard time with my own mouth. Like a friend told me long ago, "if you don't clean up your mouth, when your son starts talking, the first word out of his mouth will be ----!" Needless to say, I did not listen, and was sad to see that my own stupidity caused something that I not only had to clean up in my own mouth, but also in my son's. I know today, profanity is the new speak, and many movies are full of it, but i know some movies, i could have really liked that turned me off because of the constant use of the "f" word. Take it from someone who knows-LOL!

I don't like the dirty sex words that much. I don't mind profanity that fits the characters. For example, if it's a cop or military person, they tend to have rougher language. I don't like the use of blasphemous terms (Lord's name in vain). I can generally overlook a lot of profanity if it fits the story, but I have read some books that have way too much of it.

I was just thinking of something... I mainly read in English, which is not my native language. For some reasons profanity and graphic descriptions for love scenes probably bother me a lot less when they're in English instead of my own language. Not too sure why, maybe because it's easier to feel more distance with another language.

Before I take out a book or buy,I try to skip through the first couple of chapters,and if it starts off right away with graphic sex(geez they just met)and the language is the same with pretty much in all the sentences..and the"F" & other words are used in lovemaking scenes..well that about says what the rest will be like...so back it goes

Jasja wrote: "I was just thinking of something... I mainly read in English, which is not my native language. For some reasons profanity and graphic descriptions for love scenes probably bother me a lot less when..."

Interesting, Jasja! Something most of us would not have thought about nor experienced but fascinating.

I personally think it depends on the audience the book is tailored for. Erotic romance is just not the same with "clean sex." Although, I do believe it still needs to be done tactfully. I do have some foul language in my books, but I don't believe they are out of character or just thrown in for good measure.

Words hold so much strength for me, and foul language is the worst way to express something, so if I read a book or watch a movie that has too much profanity, I almost feel like I need to Clorox my brain. I'm not a prude, it just affects me to the point of where I can't enjoy a story.

Not into the profanity. I don't mind the occasional swear word when it's necessary to convene the feeling of the story but perfer to do without. That said - I don't let it keep me from reading a book. I just won't enjoy it as much.

I don't like to hear or read people use cuss words.