Fantasy Aficionados discussion

Like the title says do you?

Nope.

Dying maybe, not death.

Nah. I've lived a full life. I prefer to stick around but when it's time I won't bitch. I've far more fear of suffering from dementia or alhzheimers than death

I'll admit it, I sort of do. Fear of the unknown and all of that.. It's scary!

Being helpless due to physical deterioration frightens me. Death does not.

As someone once said that there are only three things that are inevitable in life: death, taxes, and change.

☠The Dread Pirate Grant☠ wrote: "I've far more fear of suffering from dementia or alhzheimers than death"

Me too! I've always said I need to recruit some nurse twenty years my junior so she can assist me out when the time comes.

Mmmm...nurses.

Carol wrote: "Me too! I've always said I need to recruit some nurse twenty years my junior so she can assist me out when the time comes"

Is that a euphemism?

Yeah, I do. I enjoy being alive and don't want to die.

No, Ala; I'm just looking for someone 20 years younger to help me out of the house to go driving...

out to a farm in the country, where I can live free, play in the sun all day and chase rabbits eat chocolate.

Or, you know, spike my juice with potassium.

No reason you can't have your juice spiked and get a massage at the same time is there?

I mean, I'm just saying.....

Lol. Kelly you'll do just fine here

I'm scared of pain. And I have a heck of a lot more that I want to fit in to my life, so I do get scared of dying too soon, leaving things unfinished.

But death itself? It'll either be an endless void of not-knowing, or the next great adventure.

Nah-I beleive in reincarnation so it does not worry me, dying and pain, maybe, but not death

Like J.K. Rowling said: "death is but the next great adventure." I belive that.

Simple answer: yes
But more than death I fear being alone. I'm not married, have no children, and am the youngest of the family I'm close to.
I'm afraid of illness. Espcially those that take my control away.
But above all my fears I'm afraid of not being able to read. Because of blindness, not being able to use my hands, or because my mind can no longer function.
It is a little depressing to think of all the great books and authors we will miss out on.
I need to find a happier discussion now. =)

I went through a bad patch where the idea of death gave me panic attacks complete with trouble breathing. I was dealing with anxiety, postpartum depression, a difficult first birth, the death of my Mother in Law when Nikki was 8 months old and then we lost a baby at 18 weeks. It was a bad time in my head and I freaked about turning 30 soon and how many things I wasn't going to have time to do before I died. The list goes on. Now I have to say I seem to have worked through a lot of it. I turned 30 and it was just another birthday haha complete with a stack of vintage comics and other stuff that certainly didn't make me feel older.The fear of death faded a bit after that. sure I wonder about it sometimes but it isn't taking over my life like it did for about three years there.

Like others have said, the process of dying is much more scary than being dead. In fact it's scary getting older. At 66 a a symptom can be much more significant than at 22 or 33 or 44...

And, all of the little ways your body betrays you add up. Can't see gud, can't hear gud, joints hurt, food has no taste, boredom becomes more common, no one listens...

If one lives long enough cancer becomes almost a certainty. But, aloneness, intractable pain and dementia are the most fearful, IMO. I'm a strong believer in euthanasia and suicide to maintain dignity. If no one's at home, turn out the lights.

I think the 12-step people say it best. One day at a time and It's simple, but not easy.

Thank the gods for books.

Books are a great medicine, it not the cure, Kernos.

I'm only 36, but I fear getting older. I view life as a straight line of rope you hold on to as you walk down its length. You can never go back and the rope is only getting shorter. It also gets rougher, cutting into your hand the farther you go.

It's a depressing wayt to look at life, but I can't help it. If I could, I'd live for at least a thousand years.

But Jason everyone you know would be long gone?

@Jason I'm a few years younger than you & I'd like to add the journey towards the end of the rope speeds up the further along you are. 12 months just doesn't seem the same length as it did when I was younger.

Maybe this topic's to depressing.. *Thinks*

If I had a thousand years, maybe I'd finally be able to get something done...

Traci wrote, "But above all my fears I'm afraid of not being able to read..."

Not counting something terrible happening to my kids, this is my single greatest fear. Almost a phobia really. The college I graduated from neighbored a school for the blind. I volunteered there often. I enjoyed helping but my real reason for volunteering for a year was to learn how to read braile. Harder than you think...maybe more so because of having sight.

Books on tape... a marvelous thing. I've listened to some in my car and have been really impressed--I was always the sort to prefer reading at my own pace, which is faster than out-loud reading. But Harry Potter on tape was quite impressive.

I work in a hospital, and eventually, most of our bodies break down pretty significantly. Usually it's gradual enough that we adapt well, without noticing the subtle changes--when we can no longer pull an all-nighter, or read close without glasses, or trim our own toenails, or a hundred other indignities. But people adapt, and things that are unthinkable to young and healthy arrogance become much more dealable over the course of years.

Just a few grim words of hope.

Savion, I'd rather they die while I was still young and able to deal with the sorrow, rather than old and weak and ready to go myself. That sounds cold, but I don't mean it to sound that way. If I could, I'd take everyone on the thousand year journey with me. :)

Traci, great point. Time does speed up as you go. I've heard it's a matter of perception. The more you experience something, the less time it seems to take doing it. When I was a kid, a year would probably be equivilant to what two 2 years feels like to me now.

Scott, you're also right. This topic is depressing. LOL

Grant, my great grandmother lived until she was 99 years old. She was always spry and youngish of spirit, and her one big love in life was reading. She didn't start going downhill until went blind at the age of 97. Then she just faded away. I think I'd be the same.

@Jason and Scott- it's also a fascinating topic, and to some hits at the heart of what it means to be human. If we discussed it more often, maybe more people would be able to be happy with their lives. We've come a long way from the old days when people held a wake--with the departed present--in their house, and I think many of us suffer from the loss of experience.

I hate elephants in the room.

@ Traci re childless/being alone--never fear, more people than you know will step forward if you need them.
@ Kernos--I'm with you. Books are a great comfort.
:)

I totally agree, Carol! I think about this topic a lot, though. Could be one reason I enjoy living so much.

Sometimes if I find myself freaking out about age, which isn't that often really, I think about a girl I went to school with. We were friendly but not friends. She got into a car accident with her sister killing both of them. So yes I do fear getting old but I keep in mind this girl that died as a teen. And how many more like her who would've loved the chance to age.

That's pretty sad Traci..

Oh Jason my grandfather on my dad's side lived to a 102. My grandma on the same side lived to 99. Dad finally died of cancer at 81 and my uncles died at 91,93 and 89. We're long lived on that side. On my mom's side though, she's the only person in living memory to live past 56. Then all three of my brothers died at 28. Just goes to show you never know. I'd still rather go out big in my 60's than take the chance of going downhill in my actual old age.

Now that I've reached my 60s, I fear my own death less and the death of the people I love more. I figure when you die either there's something after and the adventure continues or there is nothing and it won't matter. As to the pain of dying, I'm a firm believer in euthanasia and assisted suicide or just plain suicide if that's the only way to die with diginity. But the thought of losing everyone I love...that keeps me up at night.

I'm sorry about your brothers, Grant!

No, I don't fear death. I'm not rushing to meet it but it doesn't scare me. I've been around death all my life, it's lost any fear it may have held for me a long time ago. My grandfather and father owned a funeral home, I worked there, 98% of my family is dead, 98% of my friends died young. It's inevitable and it will happen, no point in worrying about it or fearing it...worry or fear won't change the outcome. I prefer to simply enjoy the time I'm given.

With that said, I'd love to live forever, if only to read every book ever written and every book yet to come. It'll never happen...but that's life. We all live and we all die.

You never know problem not in this lifetime but who knows.

@Traci I know what you mean, I've known a few people who died much too young (including a boy who dropped dead in the middle of school).

And I had meningitis when I was four, which brought me within hours of death myself - I'd be gone if the locum doctor on night duty hadn't diagnosed correctly and sent me straight to hospital.

So every day is a lucky bonus, really.

Another aspect of dying that bothers me, is that I'll probably never know how things turn out or what happens after I'm gone.Things like what generations of my family are like or technological wonders I'll miss, or what great scientific truths are discovered, first contact with a sentient extraterrestrial... all the history I'll miss, all the books I'll never read...

Sort of.

I don't fear what happens after death like I used to back when I thought I was probably going to hell. But I still don't like the idea of not being here and experiencing things.

But, as others have said, I'm more afraid of being alone, and of a long, lingering, painful death or losing my faculties - especially my mind.

I fear my loved ones dying more than I fear my own death, but I don't want him to be alone, either. I'm not in any rush for either of us to die - too much left to do.

I'm not afraid of dying... I just don't like what happens beforehand. I'm afraid of immense pain.

I will be 70 this year and so far I have to say that the so-called "golden years" definitely do not live up to their PR!

I am not afraid of death, never have been in fact, just (on the rare occasions when I was in a situation where I thought 'oops, this might be it') irritation that I hadn't done all of the things I wanted to do.

What I am apprehensive about at this point ... and this seems to be very common for people in my age group ... is the possibility being physically or mentally incapable of being able to live independently.

Kernos wrote: "Another aspect of dying that bothers me, is that I'll probably never know how things turn out or what happens after I'm gone.Things like what generations of my family are like or technological wond..."

This is one of the main reasons I don't want to die.

It's not that I'm afraid of death, necessarily, it's that I'm afraid to stop experiencing things, of knowing what's happening.

At heart, I'm an agnostic. So I can't claim to know what comes after death. Most times I suspect that it's nothing. Other times I feel that there might be something. I'm really interested in near death experiences and ghost hauntings. The only problem with that is sifting out the floozies from what's valid.

Ugh...Geez. God forbid, collective consciouness Nicki. There are enough people in the world that I can't stand that the idea of sharing an eternity with their minds is quite horrifying ;)

At the risk of seeming very morbid... I was a hospice nurse for about three years, and had the privilege of being involved with caring for people at the end of life. Some times I was even present as they passed from this life, and it always bordered on the mystical. I'm not religious, but there is nothing cemented my faith in spirit as seeing a body a few minutes after death.

*nods* I've never been in the medical field but between personal tragedy and the military I've witnessed my fair share of death and I couldn't agree more, Carol. Hospice nursing *shudders* You're a strong one.

I've had a similar experience, Carol. This goes back to when I was with an ex of mine about ten, eleven years ago. Her grandmother was dying in an old age home. My girlfriend got the call that the time was near. She didn't drive, so I took her and waited in the kitchen of the home. I didn't want to intrude. There were other family members there, so my girlfriend wasn't alone. I read for four hours and read an entire novel while waiting.

Sometimes the nurse would come and get me to visit the dying grandmother and the family - when she was healthier, she loved me. I remember looking down into her face, her toothless smile as she looked back up at me.

Anyways, when she passed the nurse came for me and I went in the room. Everyone was crying, but the feeling of peace within that room was overwhelming. I went to the window. It was about 2 or 3 in the morning, yet there were birds chirping outside the window.

Overall, it was a strange experience!

I definately believe in souls or spirits or whatever you feel comfortable calling it. I wasn't present when my grandfather died but the doctor kept his machines on until the family said their good byes. He didn't tell us but we could tell. I wish I could find the words but I can't explain it. I'd seen him asleep many times so that wasn't it. And the machines were causing him to breath so it wasn't that either. There's just something missing and a body is just a thing when it's gone. I'm not a very religious person. Some days I believe more than others. Sometimes I believe in an afterlife, sometimes I don't. I think I believe in ghosts but most people on TV are obvious crack pots. But I do have an experience that is a question mark in my life. The night before my grandfather died I dreamed that he told me it was his time and he said good bye. He was very sick and it was a matter of a short time, he had been in the hospital for weeks and we kept expecting "the call" all that time. I know more than likely with my nervous waiting it was my own mind. Maybe I sensed it. But even though I've had dreams where loved ones die I have never had one like this, and haven't since. I guess what I think is, I'm not sure what it was but I also can't say what it wasn't.

Jason wrote: "...At heart, I'm an agnostic. So I can't claim to know what comes after death. ..."

Me too and I consider it the only rational stance. I kinda recall an older SF where when one died one entered another dimension, parallel world or some such. A protag found out how to go back and forth or communicate, dont really remember it.

At this point the starstuff concept is satisfying, except for my identity hich is hard to imagine ending.

Nicki wrote: "Same here, Jason. Reading about NDEs can be fascinating if you have the patience to sort through all the fraud, wishful thinking and general bunk. I spent a fair bit of time on that back when I had..."

Nicki - I'm an animist, and while I also consider myself a theist in the panentheistic and, to some degree, polytheistic mold, I also believe that what I call the gods are, essentially, the same as 'lesser' animistic spirits but on a larger scale. It's more a matter of scope than anything else, imo. (They're also more akin to the kami of Shintoism and less like Western concepts of deity.)

As for after death - I believe in reincarnation, but I believe that first there are steps we go through to throw off the dross of our lives, and we lose a lot of what we consider our identities while retaining our essential natures, which I still believe are individualistic. (I'm a hardcore supporter of individualism. Down with the mainstream, yo!) ;)

I also believe in ghosts; however, I believe most 'hauntings' are impressions that are left over as opposed to the actual presence of a person, though I do believe that the latter happens, just to a much lesser scale.

I'm also sort of fond of the ancient Egyptian belief in the soul which divided it in 5 parts. I don't quite grok it, but I do believe that there's a difference between a person's soul and their spirit, and that perhaps the spirit can stay behind while the soul moves on.

Or that it's the spirit which contains a lot of the indiviudal personality and the soul which houses the essential nature.

I haven't quite worked it all out, yet. ;)

I do believe that, at some point, we merge with what I call the Totality, similar to the Tao, which is sort of like being part of a collective unconscious, but the unconscious of the whole Universe, and not just humanity.

In some ways I guess this is similar to certain concepts of nirvana - but I'm not ready for that, yet, and would quite happy to reincarnate a few times before that happens.

I mean, sure, life is suffering and all that, but it's so many other things, too. I'm in no rush to ascend, or whatever, to the alleged higher realms of spirituality. I'm all about Actualization and living life to the fullest (though,alas, I am not without my regrets).

And I think I just realized that Bill & Ted have the perfect philosophy for life... and I'm trying to decide if that's funny, sad, or awesome.

Colleen wrote: "I do believe that, at some point, we merge with what I call the Totality, similar to the Tao, which is sort of like being part of a collective unconscious, but the unconscious of the whole Universe, and not just humanity."

This is where my beliefs mostly lean towards when I do believe in life after death. I think our essence goes into that cosmic bowl of soup when we die, where it is recycled into a new life. I guess it would be a form of reincarnation.