UK Amazon Kindle Forum discussion

Sorry I haven't a Clue on Radio 4 has a round called something like Failed Book Titles.

Here are mine to start it off:

Nicholas Manserrat's famous The Insensitive Sea
John Steinbeck's Grapes of Indignation

Two men on a raft?

How about Hemingway's The Aged Person and the Large Body of Water?

Excellent Folks. Keep them coming.

Dr Maybe
Captain Corelli's Banjo

G

The Life of Pie

Edit

Hmmm not very good at this, I think...

Ooo how about

Stephen King's 'The Sit'

King Solomon's Test pits.
Uncle Tom's Cabinet.
And our own Steve Robinson's In The Blurb.
(Do you think I got away with that?)

I need *like* buttons for all of these! :0)

Robert Graves I Clawed dias.

Getting desperate now ;-)

One close to my heart

Moby Duck

G

The Hitch-hiker's Guide to Putney?

Reasonable expectations.

How many mates did you have to poll down the pub to get that one, Simon? ;)
I got

Jane Airy Fairy.

You win.

I failed at this because I quickly realised that my first thought Catcher in the Barley actually sounds better than Catcher in the Rye!

Catcher in the Corn is a bit corny though...

Geoff wrote: "One close to my heart

Moby Duck

G"

That is the best so far!

I agree that Moby Duck is marvellous. However, I do think that 'Grapes of Indignation' is the closest to the perfect pun so far. In my most humble opinion, of course.
C'mon you lot! Do better then!
My offerings have been rather sad. Never mind. They made me giggle!
Isn't it lovely that we can be silly together!

HG Wells - the War of the Wolds
Graham Green - Our Man in Havant
Neville Shute - A Town Like Alnwick

In view of some people's comments here,-
James Joyce's - Useless

A collaboration between Betty Smith and Monica Ali -
A Tree Grows in Brick Lane

These are great, I'm having a real chuckle. I was trying to think of something around war of the Worlds, but couldn't think of anything. Wolds is perfect.

The Thyme Machine
Average Expectations
Of Ice and Men
The House at Dung Corner

G

Joseph Conrad - The Heart of Twilight
Katsuo Ishiguro - The Remains of the Dinner
Jon Rosenberg - The Donkey Crisis (Doesn't work, does it?)

Narwhal?
The Unicycle Crisis?

G

Charlie and the cardboard factory

Ray Bradbury - Celsius 230
Sandy Dumas - the Three Mountaineers
John Steinbeck - of Rats and Women (I've said too much!)

Silence of the Goats

Snow Falling on Shrubbery

LOL. Patti, didn't Thomas Harris do a prequel to that set in the north of England - Manchunter?

G

Oh sorry, that was the film - the book was Red Drag On.

G

He also did 'Plaid Dragon' I think...

Very good Patti. Would that have had a matching dust jacket do you think?

G

Raymond Chandler - The Long Farewell my friend and may your God go with you
Richard Dawkins - The Cod Delusion
Jean M Auel - The Clan of the Teddy Bears

For fellow Jane Austin fans -
Pride and Prune Juice
Sense and Sensuality
Mansfield Breweries

The Silence of the Clams (apologies to Pattie who has already done this one.)

Come on Geoff, keep up!

A few for children,
The Lion the Watch and the Garderobe
The Voyage of the Grape Treader
The Phoenix and the Lino

The Girl with the Dragon Mother-in-law

The Outhouse at Pooh Corner

Frederick Marryat - Mr Midshipman Simples
Katsuo Ishiguro - Never let me go-go

(Patti is awake, I see!)

Little Tent on the Field

Green Eggs and Spam

Man and Supermarket

Alphabet Soup for the Soul

Gone with the Flatulence

Wallace's Dentures in Cumberland

Alex Threw the Puking Lass

Hairy Putter and the Dreaded Holes

Brilliant, brilliant all. Now I must try and come up with some, although I could say that Insomnia put me straight to sleep.

Damp Squib of the Vanities - Tom Wolf
The Sum of all Uneasiness - Tom Clancy
Finnigan's Wake up Call - James Joyce
War and Piecemeal - Tolstoy

G

Life, the Universe and Whatnot

Under the how dumb were we for paying actual hard earned dosh to read such mulch by Stephen King

Lyyne Reid Banks - The L Shaped Rune
Dennis Wheatley - The Car of Gifford Hillary
Nick Hornby - About a Boil

Lastly (for now)
Louisa May Alcott's Big Women (Phwoar!)

How Green was my Grocer
Great Expectorations
Slightly queezy on the Orient Express

Jude the obvious

The book borrower.

Tolstoy's lost masterpiece: Hand Her Career In Here
Baroness Orczy's lesser known: The Scarlet Punpernickel
From Wilkie Collins' reject pile: The Woman In Taupe
Mary Shelley's first attempt set in England: Frank N. Smith
Emily Bronte's paen to very poor torches: Withering Lights
John Buchan's budget opus: 29 Steps

A Clockwork Banana?

Washington Irving’s unlamented “The Headstrong Horseman”
Fyodor Dostoyevsky’s not quite seminal work “Crime And A Police Caution”
Kafka’s “The Preliminary Hearing”
Homer: “The Day Trip”

Jack London's Beige Dentures

From the annals of Fairy Tales


Hans Christian Andersen's "The Unsightly Cygnet"
In the paranormal genre: Goldilocks And The Three Weres
And wolves beware, here comes "Little Red Riding Hoodie"

This is my favourite thread.

Love the titles you're posting, volone!

I've even got Mr Ignite at it - his suggestions were -
Withering Tights (by Nora Batty?)
The Picnic Papers
Goodbye Mr Fish

From me again
Another Dickens - Zombie and Son

And finally - one for Geoff -
David Mitchell's Black Duck Green

PS - Just thought, Nithering Heights would be locally colloquial for perishing cold heights. Hmm. Idle thought there.