Readers Against Prejudice and Racism discussion

How do you feel about Interracial Relationships? I personally don't mind interracial relationships because it would help you be more exposed towards the other person's culture and understand the person from the culture even more.

I think they could work so long as bith cultures are acknowledged. Culture ans spiritual beliefs are such a large part of who we are that living day to day in an environment where only the partner's is displayed may make the other feel lost.

My father and step mother, for example... when i was young the holidays were celebrated with traditionally chinese dishes, get togethers were as they'd always been before dad met mom (my step mom raised me and is usually referred to as mom). It wasn't until my little sister mei was three that mom started asking for pieces of herself. Her religion in the house, for example, and some native american folk lore. Now their relationship is much stronger and while none of us took up her religion, knowing where she came from helps us know and understand her.

That's great Amber! I agree that trying out different cultures within a family can make a relationship much stronger!

I always love seeing mixed race couples. It makes me feel like the world is coming together and the people are able to see beyond the surface.

But it's a great point that it's important that neither race (or culture or religion) gets subsumed by the other.

Ruth wrote: "I always love seeing mixed race couples. It makes me feel like the world is coming together and the people are able to see beyond the surface.

But it's a great point that it's important that neith..."

I agree! I love seeing people of different cultures getting together because it shows how united they are against prejudice and racism.

The more we single out interracial couples, even for positive purposes, the more problematic I believe it is or at least can be. By making interracial couples appear different and special instead of simply regarding them as normal loving relationships between two people (two human beings), we are, I believe, encouraging the idea of interracial relationships being strange, different, exotic (and please remember that exoticism was and maybe even still is an integral part of paternalistic, Euro-centric attitudes towards Native Americans, African Americans, the islanders living in the South Pacific etc.).

Gundula wrote: "The more we single out interracial couples, even for positive purposes, the more problematic I believe it is or at least can be. By making interracial couples appear different and special instead ..."

I agree Gundula. I think that we need to view interracial relationships as being normal as having a relationship between two couples that are alike in race and culture so that way people would not always single out interracial relationships as being odd and strange.

You make a great point. I do feel a little guilty for how much I like interracial couples! They shouldn't be any different (for worse or better) than any other couple, should they?

Definitely not! :D

I agree. And, I hate to confess this, but I still note when I see an interracial couple on the street. It's not the same notice I take of a same race couple and that bugs me that I do that.

Kathy wrote: "I agree. And, I hate to confess this, but I still note when I see an interracial couple on the street. It's not the same notice I take of a same race couple and that bugs me that I do that."

I think many of us do that, and not just white anglo saxon protestants either. Yeah, it would be great if one day, there would be no more talk of interracial relationships, just relationships.

Well said Gundula. It's just two people.

One of my son's best friends (who practically grew up in our home) is in an inter-rational marriage. So far as I can see as long as it's a good marriage race SHOULD mean very little.

Note I didn't mention who was what race. Do I need to? "We all" (sweeping generalization time)still seem to get so hung up on it.

Mike (the Paladin) wrote: "One of my son's best friends (who practically grew up in our home) is in an inter-rational marriage. So far as I can see as long as it's a good marriage race SHOULD mean very little.

Note I didn't..."

I definitely agree with you! I think that race shouldn't matter if love is involved! I have seen some interracial couples and so far, their relationships are very successful!

People are people and you love who you love. My mother was in an interracial relationship for a few years in the early 1980s that wasn't easily accepted by her side of the family. But then about five years later my cousins started marrying interracially and then their children, and now we're this whole melting pot - from Mexican, African, Filipino, Caucasian, Arabian - and this all happened within 15 years. I love how our family is now compared to the way it used to be.

Carolyn F. wrote: "People are people and you love who you love. My mother was in an interracial relationship for a few years in the early 1980s that wasn't easily accepted by her side of the family. But then about ..."

That's great Carolyn! I would so love my family to be a sort of melting pot too!

I think interracial relationships are the norm nowadays. They really shouldn't be a big deal, but they continue to be an issue for some people. To me, it's about finding someone who is right for you and that you want to be with. Doesn't matter if you're not the same color/race/ethnicity.

Lady Danielle "The Book Huntress" wrote: "I think interracial relationships are the norm nowadays. They really shouldn't be a big deal, but they continue to be an issue for some people. To me, it's about finding someone who is right for yo..."

Well said Danielle! I think all that matters in an interracial relationship is that you care about the person you are in a relationship with, not what skin color they have or what religion they support.

Thanks, Ronyell!

You're welcome Danielle! :D

Picture us... trolling around with five kids from a mixed marriage... wife - Argentine (Spanish, Irish, Austrian roots) and me - Korean.

The reactions are incredibly varied. Some fawn over their good looks (like father like son! LOL!). Others stare in horror...

The hardest part is hearing my sons' stories of prejudice. At least I have learned to open up about my trials with this and can give them space to be heard.

Vincent wrote: "Picture us... trolling around with five kids from a mixed marriage... wife - Argentine (Spanish, Irish, Austrian roots) and me - Korean.

The reactions are incredibly varied. Some fawn over their g..."

I'm sorry about your son's ordeal with prejudice. It just seems like some people don't like the idea of interracial marriage, but I think that interracial marriages are really interesting and it's nice to see different cultures coming together.

Ronyell - You don't have to be sorry. This is part of our lives, we learn to deal with it and get stronger from it. And in this way we hope to help others.

But thank you anyways :)

It never fails to amaze me how people can be offended about something that has nothing to do with them. I love seeing interracial couples and diversity. I don't want to live in a world that is one color.

Lady Danielle "The Book Huntress" wrote: "It never fails to amaze me how people can be offended about something that has nothing to do with them. I love seeing interracial couples and diversity. I don't want to live in a world that is one..."

I agree Danielle. And here's the hard part... I find myself sometimes feeling a sort of bigotry against the bigots precisely because I don't understand them. And that is what gives birth to racism and the like... lack of understanding.

So I must work hard to embrace those that I don't understand... even, or maybe especially, the racists.

I know exactly what you mean, Vincent. I have been in that situation myself.

Generally I don't think about it... They're relationships. I pretty much assume that the people in them don't go around thinking "wow, I'm in an interracial relationship." To them that person is their mate, their husband or wife. I figure I owe them the dignity of thinking that way to.

I really don't care what color a person is...really. I pray I can live up to that.

Hey Mike, nice to see you here.

Here's some strange twists... the scars that racism leave upon you distort everything. You end up sometimes terribly self-conscious, arrogant or both. It should be simple, but it is not.

I even have caught myself rejecting the sight of other interracial couples... this is how strong the programming can be. Koreans are notoriously racist (is this racist if I say that about my kinsmen?)

I mentioned before that my son's best friend all through school (who all but grew up in our home) is one half of an interracial marriage and very happy.

I know the view I espouse is an "ideal" but it's what I go for, the "people are people" view. I remember the surprise we sometimes got when people came to our church with us and found it was integrated. People need to grow up.

Vincent wrote: "Lady Danielle "The Book Huntress" wrote: "It never fails to amaze me how people can be offended about something that has nothing to do with them. I love seeing interracial couples and diversity. I..."

I've often felt the same also about how I want to dislike people who are prejudiced against other people since I don't really understand about why they would hate other people of different cultures and race so much. But, I usually just want to find a way to make the person who is prejudice against other people understand that it's not right to be prejudice no matter what the circumstances are and to try to understand more about the other person's culture.

Agreed - but people ought to mind their own business and not worry about what other people are doing.

Ronyell, the psychology of racism is interesting. There aren't any easy answers, except to keep doing our part to educate others and foster an environment of acceptance and respect.

Vincent, I do understand. I have been in environments where I was the only black woman and made to feel very unwelcome--like I was lacking because of my brown skin and being a woman on top of it. I had to work harder than everyone else just to establish myself as someone who had earned their credentials and their right to be there. It does make you hardened and makes you want to strike back, even if logically that is the wrong solution to that problem. It's hard to get past some of those chips that form on your shoulders when you experience that sort of treatment.

Lady Danielle "The Book Huntress" wrote: "Ronyell, the psychology of racism is interesting. There aren't any easy answers, except to keep doing our part to educate others and foster an environment of acceptance and respect.

Vincent, I do..."

I definitely agree with this. I guess the best we can do is to teach others about the harm of prejudice and allow them to see the positive aspects of being in an accepting society.

Lady Danielle "The Book Huntress" wrote: "Ronyell, the psychology of racism is interesting. There aren't any easy answers, except to keep doing our part to educate others and foster an environment of acceptance and respect.

Vincent, I do..."

For a long time I put off dealing with the wounds of prejudice against me. When I wrote my book I dug deep into the issue, and it was painfully liberating. Over the years I've learned many lessons.

What I've found is sometimes I have to take risks. I must move closer physically and emotionally to the ones that exclude or ridicule. If I can break through that external barrier and begin to get to know the person then I can create change.

It's about being an ambassador for my race -- the human race, that is.

Exactly, we are all human being and that's what's important.

In Europe for a while you mostly saw white women with black men, and white men with asian women. I know this created a lot of friction with the group of black women.

The last 5 years a big revolution has taken place, that there are now many black women with white men. Everywhere I look there are black women with their mixed children and white men enjoying life.

I think its fabulous.

Of course there are people on both sides that hate this. But I think its great. The more the better...

I always said to my kids that colour is or should not be an issue. What is in the heart and head which counts.

Maybe sometime we can stop noticing. Black with White, Asian with Black, White with Asian.... Shared love is the thing for the couple no matter what race. I hope we can get there some time and truly be color blind to race.

I know this thread is a little old but I just came across it. I am white and was married to a black man. Most of the time I just ignored people's reactions to us. Sometimes I wanted to just flaunt it in front of them. My husband was basically just used to it. He'd notice people's reactions a lot more than I did. I guess that's part of my privilege.
Mostly I don't understand why anyone cared about my relationship. We were just two people in love. Just like every other couple.
Though that marriage ended, I still date interracially. But it's about the person not the race. People connect on many different levels. Sometimes the cultural differences enhance the relationship.
I know I've grown through my relationships. I've become more aware of prejudices and more alert to subtle racism.

Kathy wrote: "I know this thread is a little old but I just came across it. I am white and was married to a black man. Most of the time I just ignored people's reactions to us. Sometimes I wanted to just flaunt ..."

That's such a moving story! I agree that people should just look at a couple not just because of the fact that they are two different races, but the fact that they care about each other deeply no matter how different they are from each other.