MormonReads discussion

I have an announcement to make and I'm sick of my non-LDS and some LDS friends here thinking it was a bad decision to make when I know otherwise (see, I have 3 kids already one of which just turned one years old). They respond with "oh, what are you going to do now?" or "Did you mean to do that?" What I want from you guys it to whoop it up with excited congratulations and enthusiasm for my future. The announcement is that I am 3 weeks pregnant!!!!

Congrats! I love kids. If it were possible I would have a ton! I especially love babies.

Enjoy, I so hope you have a good healthy (non-morning sick) pregancy!

Way to go! I will go and whoop it up just for you! Lots of happy vibes coming your way. Congrats to you and your family on the coming addition.

That is great. I have three and one of them is a one year old as well. We are trying to get pregnant right now. I think it is great that you want to live the gospel so fully. Who cares what some of those zero population prudes think. They're wrong!

Congratulations, Asia. A new life is always good news. Thanks for sharing with us.

Having your kids close together will help them to be better friends with each other, too, or so that has been in my experience.

My Mom had 4 children.

The first two were 13 months apart
My sister and I were 11 months apart (I was born 2 months early).
My younger brother is two years younger than I.
I am glad my Mom decided to have all her children close in age and that's the way I am planning it too. :)

Congratulations on all of your children.

Wow! What a crowd of support! It's so wonderful to feel the strength being sisters in the gospel brings.

I just started taking an institute class (the first time since BYU). It's so amazing to feel the love immenating from a room full of sisters all enthused about the gospel--just dying to study it in more debth. I wasn't going to take it at first because I spend at least $10 in gas to get there and back each week not to mention the other costs in childcare, class fee, and class books. My husband said we couldn't afford the $80 per month it will cost but when I prayed about it I felt like I should make it work. So, I decided that I could save $5 each week by taking the baby with me. He's 12 months old and very rambunctious but I am able to listen anyway.

The spirit is so strong there and I feel it all week as I study for the next week's class.

The scriptures are so incredible! It's a good thing there are classes such as institute and Sunday School to keep me motivated to study. Because the blessings sure abound!

How many children you have is a personal issue. Sorry that others knocked you down about your decision.

I was one of the ones who went to BYU and couldn't get pregnant. So I know how it feels the other way. We ended up adopting through LDS social services.

Asia - You might look into carpooling with someone else there. That would help save some money too.

I tried to comment earlier, but I think it ate my post. Anyway, I just wanted to suggest that you might try carpooling, Asia, to save a little extra. My husband is carpooling to work and it is a big help.

Congratulations to you and your family for the wonderful addition! I'm sorry that you've experienced opposition from those around you regarding such a personal decision. How few or how many children a person has, and how close together they are, is between wife, husband and God. There is no room for judgment either way. I'm always amazed at the audacity of people who intrude into such matters, LDS or not.

congrats!!!!!

don't listen to anyone who doesn't want to celebrate. If you wanted another kid, that's great!!!! if you weren't really planning on it, well, its a surprise blessing!!

*celebration dance here*

anyway, that's great- don't let other people get you down!!!!!!

Thank you for your support and suggestions. As it turns out, the closest person to carpool with lives over half of the way there and when I contacted her, she said she already goes with two other women and wouldn't be able to fit me and my 2 kids. I immediately thought that it wasn't a problem to go in my 7 seat Durango but thought that she was just saying that part about there not being any room because she'd rather not deal with me and my kids so I just said "thanks anyway."

So, get this: last night at our Branch's way cool Halloween Party, my loving older friend who is the RS president said that she had heard something about me. I immediately glowed and piped out "yes! I'm pregnant!" I was so surprized at her response that she hopes I can handle it. Granted, a few months ago I confided in her that I was feeling miserable and cried like a baby for about 1/2 hour but I actually have it quite together. I guess I just am open about my feelings and don't hide sadness as well as others. Anyway, I responded "hey, I get this response from the LDS Relief Society President? Just because I'm not a perfect mother, doesn't mean I can't have more kids."

I can be that frank and open to to her because she's wonderfully secure. But this did make her fumble with her words a bit and hopefully realize how innapropriate her response was. She knows I love her, though and I know she loves me.

Let me just say this: no matter how young someone's other's kids are, how many they have and even if they weren't trying to have another one: I think the appropriate response to anyone's announcement that they are pregnant is one of joyful congratulations.

I guess there are always exceptions like raped in juvinial jail or something ;) but generally a new life is always a joyful experience. My husband and I have a great marriage and home. I love being a mother and am way excited to be one to another of God's spirits.

My sister has 8 kids and her oldest is 12. When they lived in Verginia, they were just starting their family and were having a baby every 18 months. When I would announce to others about thier wonderful accomplishments as parents (how many kids they had and how young they all were), my sister seemed immbarrased. I was really bothered by this since I was in awe of it. I wanted her to be so proud of it. But now that I've had this experience of people saying rude things and giving me that horrified look because I'm having another one so soon and my family is larger than most, I haven't been so keen on sharing the announcement even though I'm proud to be a mother.

Good for you standing up for yourself. I agree that a child brought into this world is such a blessing one that I am glad to have. I see my sisters in-law and the problems and struggles they go through to get pregnant and carry a baby full term that it makes me so thankful that I am able to concieve really when ever I want.

I have 4 kids 5 and under and when I had my 4th my first two were 4 1/2. That's right my oldest are twins and then I have a two and half yr old. I know that when we announced that we were having a third baby we got looks like "are you sure you can handle that you can barely handle what you have?"

I try to keep in mind when having kids that I need to make sure it's what the Lord wants from me. Whether I have a kid ever 10 months or not is between my husband, myself, and the Lord. I decided a long time ago that if the Lord wants me to have a baby that no matter what I am doing to prevent it from happening it's going to happen. So embrace the fact that the Lord trusts you to bring down another sweet spirit and you get to have that sweet spirit in your family forever.

Also I am a very open and honest person which some people don't look to highly on and I think it's great that you have decided that's who you are also. So keep telling people how it is. One of my best friends is the same way as us and I think she's one of the greatest people in the world.

I agree that the right response is ALWAYS - "Congratulations! I'm so happy for you!"

Congratulations! Children are life's greatest blessings.
In my future explorations class, my teacher asked us if we really wanted children. I was the only one in a class of 23 that said yes. I was shocked, and I got made fun of, but I don't mind.
Do not forget your patience when your gift comes, and good luck!

I am still shocked at the response! There are several families in my ward & neighborhood (which my neighbors aren't LDS) who have lots of children. But children are such a blessing. I wish I had more!

I think it goes the other way too. I have 3 children and always wanted more. I haven't felt it as much as those I know with only 1 or 2 children, but there is the pressure sometimes to explain why you don't have children yet, or why you only have 1. That can be very painful as well.

you are totally right. My neighbor only has one but it was very challenging for them to get pregant and she desires more. Very hard.

Cindy, where do you live? I probably could look it up on the introductions. But I was just wondering because I couldn't imagine feeling that way except in a suberb in Utah, Arizona or another highly populated LDS state. I think that's great you want to have more. But I just love babies (and when they grow up too:) ). If it's right for you, I hope you are able to have more through your womb or adoption.

I live in a very liberal town which might explain the citizens responses being worried about over-population. It seems everyone, even LDS, are having less children nowadays. I'm sure birth control has a lot to do with it but maybe more. My friend in Texas lives in a quite saturated with LDS apparment building but still gets wierd (not supportive) remarks about her amount of little ones. Good thing it's what God thinks that counts and He said to go forth and multipy (of course that means different amounts for everyone and one must do as the church counsels and go before the Lord with one's spouse to decide). Take care.

I live in Utah. And I'm afraid my family is done. It took me a while to accept that 3 was the number the Lord intended me to have because I really wanted more. I did get to tend my nephew for his first year, which was very sweet. I'll just have to wait for grandkids. Which better take a while, as my oldest is only 16!

I am in the same situation Cindy. I just enjoy holding all the new babies at church. And begging my sister & brother in law to start their family.

Yesterday I had some bad cramping especially from 10-11am when I had to do my Lamaze breathing in order to calm down. Then at 2pm I started bleeding heavily. I went to the hospital and after tests and hours of waiting in the hospital bed, we got to see the baby in an ultra sound move and its heart beat. The baby was fine but my uterus was cramping and bleeding. So, I'm on bed rest right now for a few days (they said they don't put mothers on bed rest this early on for the duration of the pregnancy although I'd be willing to) and I’m threatening mis-carriage. I'm only 10 weeks pregnant so they say there's not much to do to help this early (but my Dula has put me on some herbal teas and has me taking vitamin E). But the baby is still doing great just my uterus is bleeding so please pray for the baby.

All day before I started bleeding I was preparing my talk for Sunday about Faith. I was so excited as my study provided me with so much better understanding of what it means to have faith and how much difference there is between that and belief. Faith is based on proof (see Hebrews 11 esp. verse 1). We get our evidence from the Holy Ghost and scriptures, prophet's words, etc. Being able to feel the spirit all day and think about more eternal perspective insights prepared me so much for this trial. I have faith that all will work out because I know the outcome, the final destination of all of us. I know that we live again after we die and that we can all live as families forever if we repent of our wrong doings and try again to live righteously.

We were planning on driving home to UT for Christmas but we'll see if my body can handle it. My parents are going on another mission in January and they want us to go to their farewell party on Dec 27th. This time they are going to Argentina Spanish speaking. They are going to be vocational welfare service missionaries. They have to get their own place and furnish it too. My mom's all worried about going again. But I know she'll love it once she's there. My dad can't wait, as always. His Spanish is sounding great (but what do I know, the only other language I know is French).

Oh, Asia, I'm so sorry! What a thing to happen. I hope the baby will be fine. I know it's trite, but every day really does make a difference. It's not totally uncommon to have some bleeding. I hope that this will pass soon and you can be feeling better, and baby can stay put.

(Hugs)

Asia I am so sorry. I will pray for you and your sweet little one. I lost a baby 9 years ago and I so feel for you. lots of prayers!!!!!!!!

You might also talk to your doctor about going on progesterone until you get to week 13 or 14. Often people miscarry (or threaten to) around the middle of the first trimester simply because of a hormone imbalance. I lost one pregnancy that way, but thankfully the doctor didn't take any chances when I threatened to lose another one. He's four now. :)

Thank you so much everyone. I finally stopped bleeding early Friday morning and no more cramping. I feel sicker than ever so the baby must be fine!! I'll talk to my midwife about progesterone as soon as I get one. Perhaps because there aren't nearly as many births here as in Utah, there aren't nearly as great of choices for people to deliver babies here. I already checked out 3 of the big cities around here and their options are terrible (like just whatever OBGYN that is oncall when you go into labor will show up and "catch" the baby even though you've never met him). I'll probably have to deliver in Eugene which is an hour away from where my husband works. Long drives for doctor visits too.
One more perk about living in UT: great midwives!

Very good sign if your sick! Take it easy still.

I'm so glad to hear that you are doing better.

Okay I know this is really late but that's how I usually am. CONGRATS!!!! I had 6 kids in 8 years. We had another pregnancy during that time but we lost the baby, so I think having a big family and having them close together is a great thing. Where we live it is not normal so we get comments all the time. I have decided that it doesn't matter what anyone else says and most of the time now when people say things to me I just respond (with a smile on my face in a kind tone) "mind your own business". We lost one baby at 14 weeks and I had another one that I was bleeding a lot at the beginning and my doctor said that I was miscarrying but that he knew I believed in God and so I should go home and pray, she is now 5. My last baby they told me 90 percent chance he would be still born and if he did live he would have brain damage, heart damage, and a lot of other problems. I had a blessing at that time and was told that no matter how things turned out it would be what God wanted. He was born fine. He did have to stay in the NIC unit for a week but he is perfectly fine today and is 17 months old. Just remember that whatever happens is what the lord wants and that he loves you and he loves your willingness to bring his spirits into this world!

Your fabulous family looks so great. How proud a mother you must be. I hope that having a large family is right for us (my definition of large is at least 6). The only thing that may hold us back is my ability as a mother. I want to be everything for my kids but I lack so much. So maybe the Lord won't see it fit for us, who knows. We'll know someday. We just keep them coming one at a time and pray each time (well, I pray and my husband is supportive of my prayers).

Please welcome Emilee and Kathleen Dalton-Woodbury as new moderators to the group MormonReads

Way to go Asia! I live in a family of 8 and can't imagine how horrible it would be if my family were any smaller.

Thanks Pat!

Ruth- did you all get along well growing up? If so, what's the secret?

Asia wrote: "I have an announcement to make and I'm sick of my non-LDS and some LDS friends here thinking it was a bad decision to make when I know otherwise (see, I have 3 kids already one of which just turned..."

Is it baby time yet? Boy? Girl?

We had a baby girl after 3 boys last week and named her Zaharah. She is so amazing. We don't need to worry about people thinking we are over populating anymore because we surprisingly moved to UT. The Lord had a huge part in us moving. We just closed on selling our house yesterday.
She is


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Congratulations, Asia! I'm so glad that she's safely here. And welcome to Utah!

Welcome, welcome, to your family here in Utah, Asia, and especially to amazing little Zaharah.