"The secret of good writing," says William Zinsser, "is to strip every sentence to its cleanest components." Easier said than done, of course. But worth the effort.
Crisp, unambiguous writing (Zinsser's sentence is Exhibit A) performs magic. It transfers ideas, images, and emotions directly from the writer's brain into the reader's. Wordy, repetitive, vague writing, on the other hand, confuses and bores readers.
Think of your reader. If you don't want to lose her, make it easy for her.
Or if you prefer, think of the editor who stands between you and the reader. Verbosity makes it easy for him . . . to reject you.
Here are eight ways to strip and cleanse your sentences:
1. Use specific nouns. Dependency on adjectives signals vagueness and imprecision. Clear, sharp images come from specific, concrete nouns: "Wheaties" instead of "crispy breakfast cereal"; "raven" for "big black bird"; "Victorian" for "rambling old house." One word for three in each case.
2. Seek and destroy adverbs. Sharp writing begins with precise, active verbs. Adverbs are neon arrows pointing to weak, vague verbs. Find the strong verb and expunge the flabby adverbs. Instead of, "He moved quickly and evasively," write, "He darted"; substitute, "He yelled," for, "He spoke loudly and angrily."
3. Be positive. Say what things are, not what they aren't. Negative expressions are evasive and imprecise. Write, "He was careless," not, "He wasn't being careful." Instead of, "She didn't move very well," write, "She limped."
4. Be active. The passive voice is inherently vague and wordy. Convert passive sentences into active ones. Instead of, "Pete was stabbed by Joe," write, "Joe stabbed Pete."
Passive sentences that omit the doer of the action are obscure, confusing, and even evasive. In the sentence, "The expensive vase shattered when it was dropped," sounds as if it was the vase's fault. "I dropped the vase, and it shattered on the stone floor," is clearer because it identifies the source of the action.
5. Rewrite sentences beginning with "there." Any sentence that begins with the empty phrase "there were" (or "there" plus any other form of the verb "to be") can be sharpened and shortened by refocusing on the central action in the sentence and substituting a vigorous verb. Instead of, "There was a lot of snow on the ground," write, "A foot of snow blanketed the ground."
6. Show don't tell. Create the action vividly and trust your reader to understand and interpret what you show. "Joe crashed his fist on the table" shows; "Joe was angry and frustrated," tells.
7. Omit redundancy. Say it once, clearly, and don't proceed to explain it. Your reader will get it. If Susan blushes, do not add "in embarrassment."
Use precise verbs, and trust your reader to get what they clearly signify. Write "nodded," and resist the temptation to add "his head." What else could he nod? And please don't write, "He nodded his head in agreement." That is showing and telling.
8. Use concrete language. Vague generalities, bloated language, pedantic phrases, and euphemisms, especially common in academic, political and bureaucratic writing, obscure rather than clarify meaning.
Instead of, "The atmospheric conditions are extremely unpleasant," write, "It's raining." Don't write, "Her face revealed emotions of great happiness," when you can write, "She smiled." "He died" is clearer than "His spirit passed from this world." Notice, in all cases, how many words the preferred sentence saves. * * * Tight writing begins with a positive attitude. Embrace editing. Tinker with your sentences. Strive to maximize clarity and minimize word count. Rewriting is hard but satisfying work, and your readers (and editors) will thank you for it.
"The secret of good writing," says William Zinsser, "is to strip every sentence to its cleanest components." Easier said than done, of course. But worth the effort.
Crisp, unambiguous writing (Zinsser's sentence is Exhibit A) performs magic. It transfers ideas, images, and emotions directly from the writer's brain into the reader's. Wordy, repetitive, vague writing, on the other hand, confuses and bores readers.
Think of your reader. If you don't want to lose her, make it easy for her.
Or if you prefer, think of the editor who stands between you and the reader. Verbosity makes it easy for him . . . to reject you.
Here are eight ways to strip and cleanse your sentences:
1. Use specific nouns. Dependency on adjectives signals vagueness and imprecision. Clear, sharp images come from specific, concrete nouns: "Wheaties" instead of "crispy breakfast cereal"; "raven" for "big black bird"; "Victorian" for "rambling old house." One word for three in each case.
2. Seek and destroy adverbs. Sharp writing begins with precise, active verbs. Adverbs are neon arrows pointing to weak, vague verbs. Find the strong verb and expunge the flabby adverbs. Instead of, "He moved quickly and evasively," write, "He darted"; substitute, "He yelled," for, "He spoke loudly and angrily."
3. Be positive. Say what things are, not what they aren't. Negative expressions are evasive and imprecise. Write, "He was careless," not, "He wasn't being careful." Instead of, "She didn't move very well," write, "She limped."
4. Be active. The passive voice is inherently vague and wordy. Convert passive sentences into active ones. Instead of, "Pete was stabbed by Joe," write, "Joe stabbed Pete."
Passive sentences that omit the doer of the action are obscure, confusing, and even evasive. In the sentence, "The expensive vase shattered when it was dropped," sounds as if it was the vase's fault. "I dropped the vase, and it shattered on the stone floor," is clearer because it identifies the source of the action.
5. Rewrite sentences beginning with "there." Any sentence that begins with the empty phrase "there were" (or "there" plus any other form of the verb "to be") can be sharpened and shortened by refocusing on the central action in the sentence and substituting a vigorous verb. Instead of, "There was a lot of snow on the ground," write, "A foot of snow blanketed the ground."
6. Show don't tell. Create the action vividly and trust your reader to understand and interpret what you show. "Joe crashed his fist on the table" shows; "Joe was angry and frustrated," tells.
7. Omit redundancy. Say it once, clearly, and don't proceed to explain it. Your reader will get it. If Susan blushes, do not add "in embarrassment."
Use precise verbs, and trust your reader to get what they clearly signify. Write "nodded," and resist the temptation to add "his head." What else could he nod? And please don't write, "He nodded his head in agreement." That is showing and telling.
8. Use concrete language. Vague generalities, bloated language, pedantic phrases, and euphemisms, especially common in academic, political and bureaucratic writing, obscure rather than clarify meaning.
Instead of, "The atmospheric conditions are extremely unpleasant," write, "It's raining." Don't write, "Her face revealed emotions of great happiness," when you can write, "She smiled." "He died" is clearer than "His spirit passed from this world." Notice, in all cases, how many words the preferred sentence saves.
* * *
Tight writing begins with a positive attitude. Embrace editing. Tinker with your sentences. Strive to maximize clarity and minimize word count. Rewriting is hard but satisfying work, and your readers (and editors) will thank you for it.