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Truth & Beauty
2012 Book of the Month Reads
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January: "Truth and Beauty: A Friendship" by Ann Patchett
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Adrianna, Owner of Cafe Libri
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Nov 20, 2011 08:46PM
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How does Lucy's struggle with illness and her own body shape her way of dealing with life and with the people around her? Lucy was an enormously talented writer. Did she use that gift as a way to make sense of life? Do you think writers and artists see the world differently, or more clearly, than other people?
Ann chose to write about their friendship in a very frank and intimate way -- to pay tribute to Lucy's life and their whole relationship by recording the moments of triumph and joy, as well as the times of anguish and despair. Would you have the courage to be so honest?
The writer's life seems to require a magical gift or creative spirit and incredible drive and focus. Are these qualities contradictory or complementary? What do you think enables writers to persevere through the years of "night jobs" in restaurants and bakeries while they work to realize their dream?
Mod
SPOILERS!!
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I had a real love v. hate relationship with this book. I found it so disturbing
that I phoned my best friend and insisted she read it so we can talk about it!
1. Ann and Lucy shared a deep and intimate bond. Is it only possible to form a
relationship like that in early adulthood -- before careers are fully formed and
long-term romantic relationships and children enter the picture? In what ways
are our relationships with friends different than ones with our family members?
Are they always different?
Well, one certainly has to have the time to invest in a meaningful relationship,
so that would tend to make you think that these bonds are more likely to form
pre or post child-rearing years. I have only one close friend with whom I bonded
when my kids were young. The others pre-date motherhood.
2. How does Lucy's struggle with illness and her own body shape her way of
dealing with life and with the people around her? Lucy was an enormously
talented writer. Did she use that gift as a way to make sense of life? Do you
think writers and artists see the world differently, or more clearly, than other
people?
I found Lucy to be a seriously unhealthy person, emotionally unstable and
manipulative, and just a bottomless pit of need. I watched an interview on
youtube, conducted as part of the critical acclaim for her memoir, which you can
find here: http://www.charlierose.com/view/inter...
In this interview, she is intelligent and articulate, much as Patchett describes
her, but also calm and centered, and not the least bit as Patchett describes
her.
I don't think Lucy Grealy saw the world differently because she was a writer,
but instead because she was in a constant state of physical malfunction, because
of her lifelong experience with humiliation, and because of her untreated
depression.
3. Ann chose to write about their friendship in a very frank and intimate way
-- to pay tribute to Lucy's life and their whole relationship by recording the
moments of triumph and joy, as well as the times of anguish and despair. Would
you have the courage to be so honest?
I continue to wonder why Ann Patchett wrote this book.
In the first place, this is a gross invasion of Grealy's privacy, from the
disclosures regarding Grealy's sexuality to the publication of her private
correspondence about her deepest feelings to the description of her challenges
with eating. As the old saying goes, "with friends like this, who needs
enemies?" Obviously, Grealy did not give permission for this and cannot respond
from the grave.
I found this relationship to be so dysfunctional, such a classic co-dependancy,
that I wonder if Patchett is not releasing a lot of repressed anger with this
book. I do not think she paid tribute to Grealy as a person, primarily because
she invested so little time on Grealy's strengths in the relationship. There are
references to intelligent conversations, but no real disclosures of such. In
comparison, there are pages and pages of detailed descriptions of Grealy's
weaknesses as a friend, her petty and irrational behavior and her lack of
respect for others. But Patchett she did make me want to read "Autobiography of
a Face." And that surely is a tribute to Grealy as a writer.
Finally, this is one person's memoir about a relationship between two people,
and made me think about listening to someone vent about a divorce, in that it
was so one-sided. And, maybe that too is why I want to read Grealy's memoir?
4. The writer's life seems to require a magical gift or creative spirit and
incredible drive and focus. Are these qualities contradictory or complementary?
What do you think enables writers to persevere through the years of "night jobs"
in restaurants and bakeries while they work to realize their dream?
I love Ann Patchett's novels. I think I have read every one except the one about
the amazon. This book also showcases her excellent writing, imo. But I don't
believe there is anything magical about that. I mean, people tend to succeed at
what they do well, in my experience. And don't we all persevere through bad
jobs because we want better jobs?
Lark
Mod
SPOILERS
I feel very much the same about this book, with the exception that (years ago) I
had read Lucy Grealy's book, "Autobiography of a Face." The Lucy Grealy in
Ann's book is not the same Lucy Grealy in her own book. I was shocked, to say
the least. In Lucy's book, I admired her and her fortitude - having gone
through so much, especially the number of surgeries. I identified with her on
that account, having RA and having undergone 13 surgeries to repair/replace
joints. That's nothing compared to the number that Lucy endured, and she seemed
so stoic and brave. There was not much to be admired about Lucy in Ann's book -
why such a huge difference? And to top it all, in Ann's account, it appears
that she killed herself. What??
I also love Ann Patchett's books - her writing is beautiful. "Bel Canto" is one
of my all-time favorites. I just finished her novel "Run."
Mod
Had Lucy already died before this book was written by Ann? I noticed that it was dedicated to her, and it showed her life as being from 1963-2002. In my copy of the book, it was published in 2004. What do other readers show for the copyright?
I read one chapter, and I'm loving the style. I could see myself writing a book about my best friend in a similar style. How interesting. Not sure if I will keep reading purely because I am supposed to be doing school reading. I hope that I can make time for both because I have a feeling I will enjoy this memoir more than I enjoyed the "Year of Magical Thinking," which was the last nonfiction book I read (that wasn't associated with school).
Mod
From what I've read thus far, I agree.
I also don't see her sexual escapades as something to condone or judge her by. It's just another aspect of who she was, and I also agree with you about it being a way for her to find love. I think a lot of people go through a similar experience.
I find Lucy's letters very poetic. It feels as if she was writing them to be purposefully artistic and creative. I know I approach letter writing differently than how it's portrayed here.
~Adrianna~
--- In cafelibri@yahoogroups.com, Jeffrey Taylor wrote:
>
> I've read through chapter three and see noting Lucy should have to be forgiven for. Her sexual escapades are understandable. She was using sex to find love, was driven by her desire to please her maladjusted boyfriend, her first sexual partner, and by her own needs to find someone with whom she could make an emotional interconnection. It's an old story.
>
> Lucy's letters are the most confusing. She says she cant relate to her experience with cancer, yet she says her past haunts her. She felt detachment about her memories of her father, now deceased. She had a confused relationship with the film company that wanted to use her for a documentary. At first she welcomed it but then couldn't go through with it, saying the really didn't want her as a subject. Lucy was a complex of confused feelings and responses.
>
> Ann tells us that poetry saved and defined Lucy. "Had we managed to keep our lives focused on art, I think we would have lived in a state of brilliant happiness..." Lucy had that firm place to stand from which she could have moved the world. But she also had those fissures of internal turmoil and the external pressures of her relationships that produced fault lines that would destroy the stability of that place.
>
> Lucy is portrayed as a tragic anti-hero. I don't she how her family could held a grievance with Ann Pachett.
>
>
> >________________________________
> > From: Nannie
> >To: cafelibri@yahoogroups.com
> >Sent: Friday, January 6, 2012 4:32 PM
> >Subject: Re: Cafe Libri Re: January Discussion Questions: Truth and Beauty A Friendship by Ann Patchett
> >
> >While listening to the interview that Lark posted, I read this on
> >Wikipedia: Her sister, Suellen Grealy, is opposed to Ann Patchett's
> >depiction of Lucy
> >in *Truth & Beauty*. She claims that Patchett and the book's publisherHarper
> >Collins stole the Grealy
> >family's right to grieve privately.
> >
> >Perhaps it is "not seeing yourself as you really are", but I agree that
> >perhaps Anne was venting some anger over all that she put up with, wanting
> >to make the public more aware that Lucy was not so together and
> >well-adjusted and strong as she was portrayed in those years when she was
> >most famous. If that is true, it's sad and yet, I have had feelings like
> >that when someone is admired for some quality and their public persona
> >becomes all about that ONE superior quality with no mention of their many
> >other flaws. They become super human in the eyes of some and of course,
> >they are just flawed humans like the rest of us. Did AP want us to realize
> >that?
Mod
http://www.charlierose.com/view/inter... Author and poet Lucy Grealy, who was diagnosed with a potentially terminal cancer at age nine, talks about her memoir "Autobiography of a Face", which describes how she came to terms with her disease and discovered that true beauty comes from within.
http://books.guardian.co.uk/departmen... Ann Patchett and Lucy Grealy were close friends, both writers. Lucy died suddenly 18 months ago and Ann has since written an article and a book about her friend. What does such an intimate display of a loved one do to her family? Suellen Grealy, Lucy's sister, describes her sorrow and anger.
I dont think that the friendship between those two was equal. It felt like Lucy always had to be the center never giving Ann a moment for herself. Ann always had to be the "adult" never was in the light to much because she kept worrying about Lucy. Also I just thought some of the things that Lucy did was just weird like sitting on Anns lap like she was a little kid. No one treated Lucy like a big girl. When someone is suffereing from addiction and depression you cant help them unless they want to help themselves.
Mod
Interesting insight into their friendship. Some of the members from Yahoo Cafe Libri felt the friendship was unequal on Ann's part because of how she wrote this memoir about her friend in a seemingly unfriendly light. I'll cross-post a response from Jeffrey in a second. I'm only on chapter 5. My reading has slowed immensely because of an academic conference and the winter quarter starting up again.
Mod
Ann tells us that both women were devoted to a life of writing. As such they were exposed to a new risk, if there work wasn't accepted they would face a new
threat of rejection which would be damaging to them in proportion to their devotion. As writers seeking public recognition they have placed themselves in
the public eye or, at least, trying to get into public sight. I am reminded of books of letters between authors, like Emerson's letters to Carlyle. I don't
think writers have a sense of privacy.
In chapter five Ann, in Aberdeen with Lucy, finds that her letters to Lucy are being shared with the nursing staff at the hospital who are treating Lucy.
Ann seems to take that news without any comment she shares with her readers. I suppose she might have taken that as implied permission to publish her life with Lucy. I don't think either were interested in hiding under a rock and believe there was not a desire for privacy between then.
Chapter five is bothersome to me on two accounts. Ann gives a detailed portrayal of Lucy's trials, financial that drove her away from the burdens imposed by the American medical system, burdens impacting her by serial rejections, burdens destroying her by the facial inserts and the taunting of her bestial bypassers. Ann should have known that Lucy was not someone with a capacity for dealing with any more problems. Nonetheless, Lucy's casual "You'll be fine," seems dismissive. Knowing that Ann was her best, perhaps only, friend should have encouraged her to at least try to listen more receptively.
It's hard to put all that together other than to recollect that we all have out faults.
Mod
"'People talk about having chemotherapy...They don't even know what chemotherapy is.' What she meant was back in the days when she went in for treatment, they burned you alive. Now that the whole business was so civilized by comparison, she thought it only fair that they should come up with another name for it altogether." (91)
Mod
CHAPTER 4
Pages 54-55: I was sad to read about Ann's first relationship troubles and the eventual divorce. It seemed apparent they weren't meant for each other, but neither of them knew when to give up. I can relate to the Catholic guilt she feels because I am Catholic too. We take marriage very seriously, and divorce is not encouraged. I wonder if she was married through the Church, though, because I heard you can get a divorce easier if you were not. Not important but some random musings.
Page 55: "Academia is no place to wear your heart on your sleeve:" Again, I can relate to this statement being in academia myself. I don't agree with the sentiment, though. I see being more open about your emotions a strength rather than a weakness, especially when coping with all the stress and politics that academia entails.
Page 55: Lucy's and Ann's "pinning" was cute.
Page 59: I liked the advice Ann's mother gave her about saving all of Lucy's letters. I also appreciated the support when she said that someday the two of them would be famous writers. It reminds me of my mom.
CHAPTER 5
Page 62: "Writing is a job,a talent, but it's also the place to go in your head. It is the imaginary friend you drink tea with in the afternoon." That is how I feel about writing. :)
Page 69: Lucy's time in Aberdeen sounded horrendous. How does someone pick themselves up again and again when people and life beats you down? I couldn't believe the men making faces at her, and the drunks barking at her at night. She was even so afraid that she wouldn't go out to get groceries. That is sad...she was taunted that much by adults that should know better. No compassion at all!
Page 71: Ann's sister Heather gets married and doesn't invite her Ann to the wedding in Alaska. This showed that Ann was missing important things in her and her family's life by being there for Lucy. It also reminded me of when my sister got married and didn't invite me to the wedding. I was away at school, but I remember thinking that I would have driven to be there with her.
CHAPTER 7
Page 91-92: We've already talked a little bit about Lucy's cancer experiences, and how she felt about others. I don't have more to add.
Page 93: "This is a language problem: the disparity between the two selves, between the two sets of truths, is very real and clear to me, yet my ability to control this knowledge in any sort of narrative or vernal way veers off constantly." Interesting insights about language.
Overall, I don't find Lucy's letters manic yet. I find them "stream of consciousness" style with a lot of deep insights. Will be starting chapter 9 in a few days.
