Future Writers discussion

http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/2...

Here is a link to the story. Read, like, and comment!

Since I'm only three chapters in, I would give it a rating of...maybe three stars. Aside from a few typos, the writing flowed well; your two characters have distinct voices, and so far I like Charley. Emily so excited over Brian, though, seemed stiff and somewhat forced. The flashack also read awkwardly, being put in the middle of Chapter 3 like that. But so far I like it, and I'll probably be reading the next few chapters.

(This has very little to do with the book and is from me being retarded and all, when I read that Charley's mom was named Bonnie I thought of Bonnie from Kim Possible.)

Thanks!

Here is another story.

http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/2...

I have updated Someone Like You, so go check it out! :D