Books I Loathed discussion

Ok, random, but...why do people sign up on this website and not EVER add a book to their shelves!? None, zip, zero books! The website is called goodreads! Do they think this is myspace? 15 friends, 0 books...ARGH! OK, sorry, done now!

Another loathesome thing is when people in Goodreads set their Profile to 'private.' This is a place for public discussion of literature and almost by definition we are a bunch of geeks who would never harm another soul. Besides, there is no necessity of divulging any personal information, so why worry about invasions of privacy? And then to open a new thread of complaint...about loathsome things no less!

:)

Gotcha!

Hm, friendly aren't ya? Well, the thing is that while I love to read, I am not the most technically savvy of folks. SO, I didn't realize I was set on private. Besides, I am not quite sure why I would need to share my personal info, or my book taste even, to have comments with value.

You were flamed for your opinion? My goodness! My profile is public but I had to go back and look at it to see because I couldn't remember if that's how I set it when I first joined. ALthough, I think if someone was flaming me for not liking some author/novel that they liked, and it seemed like they were taking my dislike personally, I would probably change my profile to private. I think the thing that attracted me most about this website was that there were so many different opinions and view points about all of the literature out there. I know not everyone likes what I like. I have even added books to my "To Read" shelf because of what other people said about them and it made me curious about the book.

"I'm not asking anyone to agree with me, but certainly I didn't expect to be flamed for my choice of reading material" -- I agree. I would be apprehensive about my profile being "public" if I was flamed for not liking something someone else liked.

While, yes, Goodreads is a great website and overall is safe, there's still some nutcases out there, like with anywhere on the internet. I was actually happy to hear that Goodreads defaults all minors to being Private, since it's just safer that way. While I'd like to think there are no internet stalkers here, I can't imagine there's not at least one creep out there that has found this place. If someone doesn't feel comfortable with their profiles public, that's their choice. Some people just use Goodreads to communicate with people they already know, not meet new people, and that's fine for them.

Natalie - I almost sent you a message just now saying something to the affect of "You're so pretty you could make angels weep, and I'm looking for someone with whom to hold hands on a beach", but I was worried the context would be lost. Would have been funny though!

Erica, I get very miffed when people don't list any books. In fact, I check now. If someone tries to be my friend, I make sure they have a respectable number in their read list. I don't know why it bothers me so much. In fact, I am going to make sure I don't have any non-readers on my list of friends right now.

Aw, Sarah, c'mon. Are you telling me you turned that gentleman down? But he was a person love u! My favorite part was "(more...)(more...)"

I think I am kinda jealous. No one has stalked me at all. No creepy poems or anyone becoming an engineer for little ole me.

Wow, this thread is a great reminder as to why I've never uploaded a real photo of myself on any social networking websites. ^^ It always seems to bring out the weirdos a little more than random bits of art (even if, like the picture I use, it does resemble me!).

I always check before I add anyone that they're a reader, and that they're not just adding me for the sake of having one more person on their friend's list. I've noticed some people seem to be all about collecting as many friends as possible and not-so-much about the books.

I had this happen a few times over the weekend with authors that were obviously trying to promote their books and were friending every single person in sight. >.> I'm fine with authors trying to promote their books through here, but it gets annoying when they have nothing in common with me and it's obvious I would have no interest in what they've written!

I don't mind if people want to keep their profiles private, but it does bug me when people have no books. I've sent some invites to friends who've joined, but then they don't add any books. I keep reminding them, but it seems they're so busy with Facebook and Myspace.

Also, Karen, you can go back and edit your previous post. ;)

@Natalie:

So much for being unique.... :)

THANK YOU all so much! What great examples of the craziness out there! Great to know that I am not the only one thinking of these things! And Srae, that is what started it all for me, some people I invited initially signed up, and they did, yay, but a month later don't have any books yet, but have numerous friends. I mean, that is what myspace and facebook are for.

Funny thing is, I usually don't make random friends, not on those websites, but here I felt safer, cause it is all about the books right? Not like I am trying to hook up with anyone! Just wanna get some good reviews and such. As for adding strangers, I just compare books with them, and if we have a decent cross section of similar books with similar ratings, then that is good for me! That is what I am here for!

So I was pretty shocked when I got the comment about not being public. Felt kinda like I was being attacked (tip - :) does not negate meanness!). I changed my setting, thinking, oh yeah, I guess I should, but now I think I will just change it back, cause I can!

And to say that because people read, or are nerds, that they are safe is really a, well I will just say silly, statement. I am sure some
serial killers, not to mention psychos, stalkers and just out and out creeps like to read.

So, have a lot of people been flamed? Flaming is such a vindictive little activity, cowardly as well, considering it isn't face to face and all...

I have to admit I don't add all the books I read to my book shelf. I read about 4-5 books a week and sometimes don't list any of them. I go to the library every week though and get a whole new bunch. Sometimes between work and reading, I don't get to come on this board until after I have returned all my books.

Some people do not like to be too public on a website and I honestly do not blame them.

Hey, who has time to put down every single book? I mean, I can't even remember bunches of them. But if you put none, why bother to be around?

Because I can't figure out how to add books. I found ADD A SHELF but where do I click if I want to add a book?

Thanks!

Erica,

I didn't mean to shock you. Sorry for any offense. Having said that, I also admit that I preferred reading your newly-public profile to coming up against the 'profile set to private' message. So it goes.

I agree with you about being chagrined by people who sign up without posting any books read. For me, the purpose of this blog is to share with others the books (hopefully GOOD ones otherwise the site should be called Badreads) we've read and the ideas or responses they've provoked. If people sign up 'willy nilly' with no actual interest in reading, then this becomes little better than a chat room.

After scrolling through the thread, I have two very important questions for anyone out there:

1. What exactly is 'flaming'? I had never come across the word in this context and wonder how it came into use.

2. Should we refer to other members of 'goodreads' as 'goodreaders' or 'goodreadians'?

oooh, so what Erica said before about bookworms and geeks being psycho, I have worked off and on at bookstores for years and I got hit on, stalked and creeped out by more weirdos than when I was a bartender at a country bar. Does anyone on here get accosted by the sexy librarian fetishists?

I have no idea what flaming is, I am too old for new lingo.

I won't add any friends who don't have books listed. I feel that if you're on a site about books and literature, that's what you should be interested in, not meeting girls (it's mostly bookless males who send friend requests). I'm even worse, tho -- I won't add people who have all foreign-language books, either, because I can't read the feed, and I already have 99 friends. I do go through my new friends' lists of friends and request to add anyone who has a few hundred books or more. That is someone I want to connect with!

"if someone is trolling for sex on GoodReads, I'm fairly certain that person is barking up the wrong proverbial tree."

HA! and AMEN!

I also had a freak offering to send me "a full picture of himself", as I was a "lovely doll". (BARF!)

Look buddy, you are on goodreads. All I want to review with you - BOOKS. not your genitals.
Thanks anyway.

Well, Norman, I guess we are cool (as in getting alone fine, not "the fonz" cool :p), you and I. Flaming is just harrassing online basically, but if I am not mistaken it is quite vicious harrassing, from a stranger. I don't know if Encyclopedia Brittanica would accept that definition, but I think it works.

You are right Sarah, goodreadians is more snooty, but I must admit, I enjoy the word more! It makes me laugh a little, and anything that makes me laugh is good for me. Either way.

Erica, I think flaming meant something all together different in our circle, am I right?

LOL yeah, and it still does here in general. You know how it is!

When I received a seemingly random and rather curious friend request I sent a message asking why. Within a few hours the person had sent me a logical answer so I accepted the request.

If someone can't even be bothered to answer your message, they're friend fishing. Sorry but I'm not interested.

Totally unrelated question, but I am wondering why sometimes the books do not have a description. It is very frustrating when I am trying to figure out a book that I have read but I have to go somewhere else to figure out what it is about. Any ideas why that is sometimes the case?

When I receive a "friend request", I figure the person probably saw something I said in one of the threads, and then checked out my book list and thought we had similar tastes so they invited me to be a friend, that's what I think if I send a "friend request" to someone. I like the "friend requests", cause when I receive one it reminds me that I'm not alone in my world of reading, that there are others out there who understand and appreciate the stupendous joy of the written word. (Wow, that was gag worthy! I think that's exactly what I'm going to say when I win some sort of award sometime).

I think I only have 1 friend in my list who has zero books. I invited her via an email to join and she joined, but doesn't have any books. I don't know why. I do like seeing what other people are reading, and it's opened up whole new worlds to me :).

Erica -- I was wondering the same thing about the descriptions. I've started opening a new internet window so I can do a search on a book to get it's description when I see the book listed in a discussion or on a reading list.

Sarah -- I loved the moon land part of that message. So far, and I hope I'm not jinxing myself, I haven't been "hit on" here on goodreads, but I get hit on at work and maybe I'm just picky, but an orange jumpsuit with "DOC" written on the back just isn't very sexy.

Natalie,
that is exactly what I mean. Boys with the fetish see the glasses and books and suddenly, the world goes into slow motion with books flying, glasses coming off and hair that was in bobby-pins is wanton and untamed.

*different Erica*
I think I much prefer goodreadians to goodreaders.
Because goodreaders could be thought of as "those who read well" or "readers who are good people", as opposed to those who happen to be from the land of goodreads.

Also not posting an actual picture of yourself usually helps keep the trolls away.

As for those who flame others for having different taste in books, how sad that the only way they can deal with someone who disagrees with them is to randomly hurl insults. Their life must suck with such poor social skills.

Then my two cents on those with no books is that I have a few friends that I have asked to be on goodreads that haven’t added a book. Mostly I think they are just on goodreads because I asked, and having slightly bullied them into joining I can’t actually get them to add any books. This is quite annoying because the reason I asked them was to compare books. *sigh*

Ok, I’m going to join Karen in lurking.

Nerdy reader girls are complaining that some people find them uber-sexy?

What the f***?

Can we all help that we think smart and talented girls with or without glasses are really sexy, even if they don't fit the standard mold? Did some of us grow up idolizing the mousy librarian with the wicked brain, or the math teacher with a razor wit?

I hear the idea of fetishizing the smart, "nerdy" librarian, a la Van Halen's "Hot for Teacher." But some of us just think Winona Ryder from _Lucas_ is the bomb, and every time we go to the library we ogle the hottest addition out of MLS school.

Not because we think they're going to go from Madonna to Whore, but because they're smart, self-effacing, funny, and cute.

Rock on, Goodread ladies. Rock on, librarians. Rock on, conservatively-dressed teachers. We love you for your hearts and your brains and your glasses and your individualistic styles.

Peace out.

"Does anyone on here get accosted by the sexy librarian fetishists?"

Oh, yes, and it drives me a bit crazy. I've been working at a bookstore for years now, and get really tired of being hit on or flirted with. I think it's great that men are attracted to geeky girls, but I get fairly annoyed when they hit on me. Yes, my wedding band is nowhere near as gaudy and big as a lot of women have, but it's there and easy to spot.

In My circle Flaming means a really effeminate gay guy ...and it's ok I can say that ...since I am a gay guy...although not a flaming one ...unless the mood suits me , which it has been known to do from time to time. (Especially that one time in drag ....but thats another story for another thread.)

Back to the books in common aspect of friends. I did that for awhile, then realized, heck this person and that person has read 2000 and 3000 books. We don't have a single book in common! Why the heck is that? I want to add that person as a friend so I can explore his or her books and figure out what I'm missing out on!

I find the best way to avoid creeps and stalkers is to put up my actual photo (badump-dump).

Re: flame, flaming-- in the (theoretically) gender-and-sexual-preference-neutral world of net forums and message boards a "flame" is a personal attack having nothing to do with the topic being discussed (i.e., "What kind of moron doesn't like Faulkner?" Answer: ME). If the offended party responds the resulting volley is known as a "flame war."

Or maybe it's just a couple of queens bashing each other with Louis V. bags. I dunno.

Whoa whoa whoa, Brendon, this nerdy girl not complaining, just inquiring if fetishist have been pestering the ladies. Because being a bomb-shell geek myself, I have learned a clear difference between someone finding me sexy, and someone with a fixation.

What usually is the tell-tale sign is the lack of similar interests. When an equally geeky guy finds me hot, no question it is great, but as Natalie pointed out, there are the yucky folks who lurk just to lurk.

I've had a number of people ask me to be their friend on goodreads who don't list any books, and I've written back to them telling them I would consider adding them as a friend if they would add some books, since it is a website to share what you're reading! I agree with some of the posters that this isn't myspace (nor does it pretend to be). I'm not into myspace, so I don't want to act like a myspacer. I have some friends with whom I have few likes in common, but I prefer to have friends who have at least some likes in common. I deplore people putting books on this site into their 'read' list just because they heard of a book. Not many are doing that, but it's way too goofy for me to stomach. I also understand why lots of women have their lists marked as private, because of weirdos, but it doesn't do fellow goodreadians any good to see that somebody has marked their list private. Just tell the weirdos to fuck off!

:) I love these threads for the new language I acquire if for nothing else! Karen, I kept meaning to tell you that I too will be using Lurking now. Love it! And bomb-shell-geek! Srae, I shouldn't expect anything less from you, but I assure you, I will do my best to find some appropriate usage for that one too!

Srae -- I like "bombshell-geek"! I like that a lot! Usually, people tell me I'm a dork or pathetic because of how many books I have and how much time I spend reading. I just love reading, and I do own a lot of books (my pile of books to read keeps growing and I just don't know how it got that way, LOL), but I don't see that as a bad thing. So, I think I'm going to start telling people who make fun of me for all the books I read that I'm a bombshell geek and damn proud of it!

i vote for goodreadingos.
it has a nice flare to it.

Clare, I haven't added all the books I own, and they're on the freaking bookshelf right across from my couch where I browse this site. And I haven't done it because I'm lazy, because I want to read what other people have written, and because I have a ton of political blogs to read that take up a lot of my time. So I think there's really nothing wrong with that.

People are entitled to add whoever they like as friends, of course, but joining this site doesn't make anyone contractually obligated to add books. I imagine lots of people join to be able to follow what their (real life) friends are reading, or something along those lines.

Lastly, I'm not sure how this thread is on topic.

Bronwyn~~Thanks!!!

OH MY GOD, the Bunnicula books! I completely forgot about those, what a memory! Thanks! Oh and Bronwyn, I just have to tell ya, I am jealous of your name. I was almost going to be named Bronwyn, but mom and grandma had a falling out about it, and here I am, Erica. Not a bad name, but not nearly as exotic....sniff...

Bunnicula... the one who turned all the vegetables white? I remember!

My profile is set to private because I dislike the idea of having anything about me accessable to anyone with an internet connection. This is my personal preference.

The books I list are for my own purposes, not to impress anyone. I have made enough shelves so that hopefully a friend can look through what interests them without scrolling though things that don't. I'm happy to share, and glad when my lists are enjoyable/useful to another, but what I list, and the way I list them are firstly for my own use.

When looking through other lists I'm bugged when someone has 200 books, and have made no shelves. So they're all just in the "read" shelf and I have to scroll through everything they've read if I want to see if they have anything that looks interesting for me. But I have to accept that their list is their list, and they aren't obligated to make it user friendly for ME.

Although I don't really want to have a slew of "friends", I've accepted requests from people who looked like they had at least some common interest in a catagory. Not necessarily specific books in common.

I denied two people who had zero interest in common with me - not to be mean, but I didn't think they'd get anything from my list. One in fact obviously held a religious view of which I have "anti" books in my shelves - if he'd looked through my books not only did we have zero in common, he probably would have just been offended. Perhaps even sent me argumentative or flame messages.

Don't get me wrong though, I'd probably add someone who had a similar interest in say Young Adult books or Fantasy, if they also held different religious or political views than mine. I'd hope they'd be good enough just to disregard what books I have that hold no interest for them.

They probably just saw I had lots of books listed and were curious to see what I had, or they were just trolling for friends - I don't know. But in looking at their books it seemed to me they wouldn't find anything of interest in mine.

Janis,
"The books I list are for my own purposes, not to impress anyone. I have made enough shelves so that hopefully a friend can look through what interests them without scrolling though things that don't. I'm happy to share, and glad when my lists are enjoyable/useful to another, but what I list, and the way I list them are firstly for my own use."

I could not agree more.

One question, though: how can someone look through your books if you're listed as private? I mean, how could the religious guy have known you had different views if he couldn't compare books with you?

When I started this thread, I had my profile set on private, didn't realize it. Then due to someone calling me out, I changed it to public. Then I realized I did it because I was made to feel bad for being private. Now I have made a compromise. I have it set so anyone can see it, and thus compare lists with me and so forth, but only a friend can send me a message. I think it is a good compromise, in the theme of sharing, but then also protecting myself from random flamers. We shall see.

Sorry, Margo, but to my ears 'goodreadingos' sounds like an Aussie referring to a pack of funky wild dogs that raided his 'barbie' on the beach.

"G'day maiit! Didja knaow a bloody pack o' goodreadingos stole awr weenies frawm the barbie last naight! Too raiit they did!"

Great compromise, Erica! After all that has transpired since I somewhat teasingly sent that message, I hope all of us on both sides of the privacy issue have gained some insight.

Cheers!

Sarah,

You're right, someone not currently my friend cannot look through my books. And the person who requested to be my friend could not have known I was very anti his particular beliefs. I was only explaining why I choose to deny his request, and the main reason was from looking at his lists we had zero interests in common. I wasn't trying to suggest he somehow should have known that and not asked to be my friend in the first place.

I actually almost accepted his request, merely because I didn't want to hurt his feelings or seem mean. But really I didn't think there'd be anything of interest to him in my lists, although you are right that he'd have no way of knowing that. It's even possible that he might of - and I just had no way of knowing that. His books were exclusively either non-English or of his religious persuasion.

I'm fairly open to adding people I don't know to being my friend, so they can look at my list if they want, and I've requested a few friends myself. But I'd like to avoid having 100 "friends" most of which have nothing in common with me :)