Book Nook Cafe discussion

What: Buddy Read - All are welcome to join in

Book: A Reckoning: A Novel

Author: May Sarton
May Sarton (1912-1995) was an acclaimed poet, novelist, and memoirist.

When: Discussion starts around December 16, 2011

Where: Discussion will be held in this thread

Book Details:
# Paperback: 256 pages
# Publisher: W. W. Norton & Company (May 17, 1997)
# Language: English
# ISBN-10: 0393316211

Synopsis:
When Laura Spelman learns that she will not get well, she looks on this last illness as a journey during which she must reckon up her life, give up the nonessential, and concentrate on what she calls "the real connections."

The heart of the story is Laura's realization that for her the real connections have been with women: her brilliant and devastating mother, a difficult daughter, and most of all a woman she knew when she was young.

Spoiler Etiquette: There are 23 chapters. If you are discussing a spoiler, PLEASE put the chapter number at the top of your post and write - spoiler- .

Amazon link:
http://www.amazon.com/Reckoning-Novel...

This will be my fourth Sarton novel. I find them easy to read and thoughtful about relationships of all sorts.
Looking forward to sharing.

deb

I read a few pages on the train today. It's the first novel I've read by Sarton, though I've read her non-fiction.

I have to say, I was totally captivated by the writing and the sentiments expressed. It seems like a novel that will give one a lot to think about.

Thanks so much for bringing Sarton's fiction to my attention, Deb.

My pleasure, Alias. It's a delight to share her books with you & others here. Alone, i feel i miss some aspects of the prose.

Last night i began the novel. Before i knew it i was on page 102, chapter 10. For some reason the premise hooked me.

(view spoiler)[Frankly, in the past i've wondered about the idea of knowing one is dying. Selfish as i thought it was, i know myself enough to realize i would want much private time, with no one near, to think about the "event". To read that Laura Spelman felt that way, too, was rewarding. The question is whether she can do it, once she shares the truth. (hide spoiler)]

There is some George Herbert poetry in the book. I will share the complete poems on the poetry thread. I've read some of his pieces previously and can see why they mean something to others.

deborah

Madrano wrote: Last night i began the novel. Before i knew it i was on page 102, chapter 10. For some reason the premise hooked me.
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I think I only read about 25 pages. ( I went to the dentist yesterday, so I wasn't up to reading last night) I've made myself slow down when I read because there is a lot there and it's beautifully expressed. I don't want to miss the nuances. In fact, I was thinking of re-reading the 25 pages again as it is the set-up for the whole book.

One thing i absolutely treasure is the way her writing is lucid and nuanced simultaneously. I suspect it's quite an achievement. And the respect her characters display for people who are confident in one area yet puzzled in others is remarkable. This reader learns to understand both angles of those beings.

Now that we've read more of her nonfiction, i can better see glimpses of herself in the fiction. Additionally, i find myself wondering how much of what she shares about non-main-characters are drawn from her own experience. I'm particularly interested in the budding novelist & whether Sarton experienced the doubts the character does.

deborah, finding this a rewarding read in this season, too

Madrano wrote: Now that we've read more of her nonfiction, i can better see glimpses of herself in the fiction.
---------------

I said the exact same thing to myself while reading last night. We often lamented what seemed to be Sarton's guarded prose regarding her homosexuality in her journals. She seems freer to express herself on this count through her fiction.

It's interesting the sentiment that it's not death she is afraid of, it's dying.

I suspect that it true for me, too. I hate the thought of being alone in a nursing home dependent on the kindness of strangers, to quote Tennessee Williams.

Suffering with some painful and disabling disease at the end is another concern.

To lose ones independence and not have the money to deal with it is huge. I just finished the book
Losing Mum and Pup. It's written by Christopher Buckley and the end of his father, William F. Buckley, life. He had a lot of money to be cared for at the end and that made a big difference in the care he received.

Now if I could look and be as active as these two at 108 & 109

http://www.china.org.cn/china/2011-12...

Jin Jifen, 106, and her husband Yang Shengzhong, 109, have a meal at home, Dec 6, 2011. The couple has been recognized as the oldest living couple in the country by the Gerontological Society of China. Living in a village in Southwest China's Guizhou province for more than 100 years, Yang used to be a carpenter and Jin a housewife. They have been married for almost 90 years and the family has five generations.

I up to page 60.

It's interesting that Sarton is almost espousing a Buddhist point of view. Live in the now. Cut out extraneous things from your life. Live simply. Enjoy the simple things in life.

When she visits her mom in the nursing home, I thought she would tell her cousin about her illness, if only to know that her mom would have someone looking out after her. Maybe she felt the cousin would do it anyway.

On page 57 Sarton discusses learning how to live. And the notion that some of us have to come face to face with our own mortality before we appreciate our lives and the joys of simple things. I guess it is a bit of a cliché, but I think it's true.

Alias Reader wrote: "I up to page 60.

It's interesting that Sarton is almost espousing a Buddhist point of view. Live in the now. Cut out extraneous things from your life. Live simply. Enjoy the simple things in lif..."

I suspect Sarton got that part just right for her character. It's interesting to watch the fairly quick way she sheds the less important daily events which have been part of her life. Helping Harriet seems to be the last, other than her family.

I don't know what to think of the Chinese couple. The idea that she still serves him meals is exhausting to Spoiled Deb. ;-) It was informative that Laura, in our book, is relieved her husband isn't there to hover over her as she dies. I fully understand that. Not only would one need to focus on a beloved caretaker (which is why Mrs. O'Brien is perfect for her) but also reassure them they can survive, etc., after your death. So much effort.

Dying alone when old sounds awful. My dad has that fear and he's living with two of his children! Actually, it may be more that he doesn't want to be put in a nursing home, as he's never feared death, from what he tells me. Still, we understand that aloneness, even though the actual end is ours alone.

(view spoiler)[As a reader, i really like the parts where Aunt Minna comes to her house and reads. I could actually stand to hear more about that but i suppose that would extend the book too much. One thing i like about it is the way the prose is as stripped down as she has stripped down her life at the end. (hide spoiler)]

I will be adding another poem or two. It's been a pleasure to read some of them "with" Laura. And i think they are good enough to share, as well.

When we read the last couple of books by Sarton together, i remember thinking that her writing about the feminist movement was more topical than not. In this novel her characters view it in the longer term, as witnesses on how far things have come, not the minutiae issues which made it volatile in its time. There is comfort in knowing Sarton saw this, as well.

deb

I finished the book last night and believe it is one of my favorites of the year. I've posted another poem but after that, there are only the following, which i basically cannot find but want to mention.

I felt some frustration that characters used quotes without referencing the source. "The young men, all so beautiful". I couldn't find those exact words, so have no idea where it arose, although they mentioned the Greeks prior to using the quote. So many "Greeks!"

While googling "His kind velvet bonnet", mentioned in Chapter 21, i found an excerpt from a Sarton book of letters, giving Edith Sitwell as the author but i cannot find any more about it. I'm left wondering if Sarton misquoted her or if it isn't from a poem at all, even though in two books Sarton wrote it out in verse. OR, most likely, it's just not online. :-) Btw, it's about a cat.

I'll reserve any further comments until others have finished the book.

deb

I'm up to page 134

I'm enjoying this book quite a bit. I will definitely read more Sarton fiction in the future. It's absolutely one of the best fiction books I've read this year.

When I tell people I am reading a book about a women who is dying they look at me like I am crazy. Not that that is something new. :)

chapter 7
Page 60 of PB
"I'll be well out of it, she thought, looking around her room: the Graves sea bird she and Charles had bought together for there 20th wedding present to each other; the shelf of special books, poetry mostly, to the left of the mantel; the birch logs in the fireplace...."

I often think about this. Things that have a lot of sentimental value to me, that I know will be tossed when I am gone. It makes me sad.

Page 65
"...one can't close the door against life..."

So true. And how many of us try so hard to do so.
Things change. It can be hard to accept. But change they will whether we accept it graciously or not.

Page 66 to end of chapter 7

Harriet's visit

This is almost the same sentiment we found in her journals. She wants to be alone, but does enjoy the company. And would lament it if no one came to visit. No pleasing us humans. :)

Chapter 9
page 94
Interesting how she has her character love cut flowers. That is very much like the author we found out reading her jnls. I wonder how much of her fiction is taken from her own life.

* comments for the entire novel to follow


I've finished the novel. Here are a few more of my jottings.

This book is copyrighted 1978. I'm surprised to learn at that date a teacher could lose her job for being homosexual.


Markings~Dag Hammarskjöld
This is the book she was reading. I own this book. I forget now who was a big fan of Hammarskjold on AOL and had recommended it. Connie maybe?

I wish she had named the Anthony Trollope she was reading.
I do have one unread Trollope on my shelves.
The Warden

chapter 15 page 156
I've never heard of putting a child into a bath with their clothes on to stop a tantrum. Sounds kind of cruel to me.

Chapter 15 page 157
"It had been Laura's experience that things waited for with dread rarely turned out as expected."

This reminded me of a Steinbeck quote I wrote in my jnl.

"Take things in stride and particularly don't anticipate trouble before it happens. One of my very worst habits is the anticipation of difficulties and vicariously to go through them in advance. Then, if they happen I have to do it twice, and if they don't happen I have done them unnecessarily."
Journal of a Novel: The East of Eden Letters

chapter 18 page 192

I very much like Aunt Minna's sentiment of looking at her dying as an Alpine climb up a mountain. Going towards something. Not descending or falling downward, away from something.

Chapter 19 page 198

The image of the web we weave in life and the undoing of it a strand at time as we die was terrific.

This was such a moving novel and so well written. I think I read the last 30 pages with tears streaming down my cheeks and a lump in my throat.

It's very sad to me that this terrific novel was in the "stacks" at the library and not circulating on the shelves. This book was so superior to much of the drivel on the bestseller lists.

Thank you so much, Deborah, for bringing this book to my attention. I doubt I would have read it otherwise. You mentioned you've read other Sarton nonfiction. Do you have a favorite from the other ones you've read ?

MarkingsMarkings~Dag Hammarskjöld
This is the book she was reading. I own this book. I forget now who was a big fan of Hammarskjold on AOL and had recommended it. Connie maybe?

I'm familiar with Hammarskjold mostly through a quote of his that sort of got me through the turbulent 1960's - "Never, for the sake of peace and quiet, deny your own experience or convictions."

Good quote, Connie.

I wish I had put the name of the person who recommended the book me. I only recall it was when this group was on AOL.

I should try to do that in the future, especially with my bad memory.

Alias, i'm pleased you enjoyed this novel as much as i did. One thing i wondered as i read it was whether one "needed" to be over 35 or 40 to really appreciate it. Intellectually we are prepared to consider dying but only as we creep closer, imo, do we really deeply understand all the loss of those physical, never-got-to items, as well as our treasures.

Otoh, i think people of any age could appreciate those last 30 or so pages you mentioned. The love & goodbyes expressed by her children and others. Attempts to please her are also points i feel are universal.

I do not have that Hammarskjold book but now want to read it. He's a man who intrigued me since his death, a man whose name i barely recognized previously. This is no surprise as i was 10 when he died. Heck, i barely knew what the UN was back then!

And i was unfamiliar with Nightwood by Djuna Barnes. I intend to try to locate a copy of it, as it seems to be a hallmark of homosexual literature. Anyone here ever read it?

ANYway, your question as to whether or not a teacher could/would lose her job if it was learned she was homosexual is a good one because it illustrates how far we've come. This web site cites court cases where some of these decisions were made. http://www.americanbar.org/publicatio... It appears that one of the earliest cases was about whether a gay teacher could legally be removed from the classroom & moved to a non-teaching position. The court said "yes", apparently because the students knew he was gay. Interesting.

And, lest we think this is totally resolved, the link cites a case from '95 in Michigan. And, if we need any more proof, there was "don't ask, don't tell". Even today i suspect there are gay teachers who won't share, fearful of being fired. In this economy, it's probably more likely.

As i wrote, it's neat that we forget so early. Oh, i just remembered the Stonewall Riots in NYC, often cited as the beginning of working toward acceptance of gays in society. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stonewal...

This is the first of 3 posts i'll share on the novel, but i wanted to get the "history" of it out of the way. The rest is about ME & my thoughts on the Sarton book(s). ;-)

deb

Alias, i think you asked about the other fiction i've read by Sarton. Iirc, all the nonfiction by her that i've read has been read with you. The first novel i read was As We Are Now: A Novel, read back in '88. I think i heard about it in Ms. magazine & actually found it in a South Dakota library! ;-) I don't recall much about it now, other than the frustration of a mentally competent woman confined in a nursing home. If you read it, please let me know & i'll join you.

Next i read The Education of Harriet Hatfield, which ended up being one of my favorites that year. It caught my interest because the widow was in her '60s and started a book store. I liked the way the story progressed, although there was a time or two when i felt it was a bit too heavy handed.

Finally, just this year, i read Mrs. Stevens Hears the Mermaids Singing, which i liked. The story wasn't straight forward but close enough that those who don't like jumping timelines wouldn't be annoyed. As usual, it seems her jumping timelines are usually expressed more as memories, which don't get confused when she writes them, imo.

So, your question was whether there is one i like better than the others. Yes, The Education of Harriet Hatfield still plays in my mind. I liked the main character, as well as the way her story developed. And, at least in my edition of the book we just read, it's not mentioned. Oh, i see why. http://www.fantasticfiction.co.uk/s/m... informs me that it was her last novel, published in '89. Actually, looking at the list, i am surprised to see that she wrote many other novels.

deb

Re. putting a child expressing a tantrum into a bath, fully clothed. I think that it's the idea they are fully clothed which is what makes it "work". Who would expect it? I've read in colonial history books that elders threw young children into cold water, fully dressed, in order to assure they remembered the occasion, usually something important like signing deeds to houses or even the Declaration of Independence. A way to make certain the memory retains the events surrounding it. I suppose the same theory goes for putting a tantrum(ed?) 5 year old in the bath. Maybe they'll remember & rethink?

Alias, thank you for the Steinbeck quote. It's one i'm going to share with my sister, who seems unable to cease her worrying. It's angst innervating for me!

Like you, i found the idea of death as something to ascend a good one. It allows for a better frame of mind, methinks. No need looking at it in a way which makes one more depressed than the actual situation, if that makes sense.

Now i have a question for you about the doctor & the character Sarton expressed. Laura said she wanted to die her own way & he agreed. Yet the two most draining events of her dying appeared to be instigated by the doctor--the hospital stay and taking her outdoors. And yet at the end Laura thanks him for allowing her to die as she wished.

While i felt it was genuine, hours later, while thinking of the book, i wondered whether she intended Laura to be grateful but for readers to question whether he didn't, in fact, alter her dying. The hospital visit certainly gave him more insight but she was alright not knowing & it didn't really effect anything. As for the chaise spring incident, i think it was a real attempt to give her a spring. Yet, in the end, it kinda did her in. Am i being cynical? (What? ME?!?!)

And i'm curious to know what you thought of Snab showing up at the end? A bit corny, but also a completion of two tasks for Laura. One wonders if all along she might have suspected that Ella might have the answer regarding L's mother. I didn't sense it as we read but in retrospect, given the fact she did help L in that regard, maybe so. Any thoughts on that?

I noticed you added this book to your favorites for '11. I don't blame you. I am fairly certain i will, too. That without looking through my entire year's reading. The appreciation for things i treasure, such as art, music and words, are wonderfully expressed by May Sarton.

Madrano wrote: "Alias, i'm pleased you enjoyed this novel as much as i did. One thing i wondered as i read it was whether one "needed" to be over 35 or 40 to really appreciate it. Intellectually we are prepared to..."
-----------------

I think that is one reason it affected me so. Having lost both my parents, I was reminded of the time when they past away.

Madrano wrote: I do not have that Hammarskjold book but now want to read it. He's a man who intrigued me since his death, a man whose name i barely recognized previously. This is no surprise as i was 10 when he died. Heck, i barely knew what the UN was back then!
-----------------

Unfortunately my bookshelves are a jumble and I can't locate the Hammarskjold book. But if I recall correctly it is a book of quotes.

Madrano wrote: nd i was unfamiliar with Nightwood by Djuna Barnes. I intend to try to locate a copy of it, as it seems to be a hallmark of homosexual literature. Anyone here ever read it?
---------------

No. I never hard of the title or the author.


Nightwood~Djuna Barnes
The fiery and enigmatic masterpiece—one of the greatest novels of the Modernist era.
Nightwood, Djuna Barnes' strange and sinuous tour de force, "belongs to that small class of books that somehow reflect a time or an epoch" (Times Literary Supplement). That time is the period between the two World Wars, and Barnes' novel unfolds in the decadent shadows of Europe's great cities, Paris, Berlin, and Vienna—a world in which the boundaries of class, religion, and sexuality are bold but surprisingly porous.

The outsized characters who inhabit this world are some of the most memorable in all of fiction—there is Guido Volkbein, the Wandering Jew and son of a self-proclaimed baron; Robin Vote, the American expatriate who marries him and then engages in a series of affairs, first with Nora Flood and then with Jenny Petherbridge, driving all of her lovers to distraction with her passion for wandering alone in the night; and there is Dr. Matthew-Mighty-Grain-of-Salt-Dante-O'Connor, a transvestite and ostensible gynecologist, whose digressive speeches brim with fury, keen insights, and surprising allusions. Barnes' depiction of these characters and their relationships (Nora says, "A man is another persona woman is yourself, caught as you turn in panic; on her mouth you kiss your own") has made the novel a landmark of feminist and lesbian literature.

Most striking of all is Barnes' unparalleled stylistic innovation, which led T. S. Eliot to proclaim the book "so good a novel that only sensibilities trained on poetry can wholly appreciate it." Now with a new preface by Jeanette Winterson, Nightwood still crackles with the same electric charge it had on its first publication

Madrano wrote: It appears that one of the earliest cases was about whether a gay teacher could legally be removed from the classroom & moved to a non-teaching position. The court said "yes", apparently because the students knew he was gay. Interesting.

And, lest we think this is totally resolved, the link cites a case from '95 in Michigan. And, if we need any more proof, there was "don't ask, don't tell". Even today i suspect there are gay teachers who won't share, fearful of being fired. In this economy, it's probably more likely.

As i wrote, it's neat that we forget so early. Oh, i just remembered the Stonewall Riots in NYC, often cited as the beginning of working toward acceptance of gays in society.
---------------------

Thanks for checking this out, Deb.

It's just so difficult for me to grasp that this prejudice still exists today. Sad.

Madrano wrote: ext i read The Education of Harriet Hatfield, which ended up being one of my favorites that year. It caught my interest because the widow was in her '60s and started a book store. I liked the way the story progressed, although there was a time or two when i felt it was a bit too heavy handed.
."
-------------

Thanks deb !

I see my library has this book. I will put in on my 2012 reading list.

Sad to see that both the The Education of Harriet Hatfield and As We Are Now: A Novel are both in "storage" at the library. As was, Reckoning.

I think Sarton should be an author that people would want to still read. I guess, sadly, that is not the case. Well, at least my taking some of her books out of library storage might keep the book in the library in some capacity and not discarded like so many books which one can no longer find.

Madrano wrote:
"Re. putting a child expressing a tantrum into a bath, fully clothed. I think that it's the idea they are fully clothed which is what makes it "work". Who would expect it?I've read in colonial history books that elders threw young children into cold water, fully dressed, in order to assure they remembered the occasion, usually something important like signing deeds to houses or even the Declaration of Independence.
---------
Wow ! I never heard that about colonial times. The things you learn from reading.

It seems more like a torture to me, not a tool used to remember things. But I guess bad experience do tend to be replayed in our memory over and over.

It reminded me of the mother this year that was talked about on the Internet and TV. She pored hot sauce on her kids tongue to punish him. Then in the video it showed her putting the kid in a cold shower. Again, to punish him.

Alias Reader wrote: Alias, thank you for the Steinbeck quote. It's one i'm going to share with my sister, who seems unable to cease her worrying. It's angst innervating for me!

-----------------------

You're welcome. I have a bunch of quotes on negativity, anxiety or fear. Something I always am always working on, too. I'll write a few more in another post.

I even found some stats on fear. :)

University of Michigan study
I don't know how they came to form these stats, but they make me feel better and that's all that matters. :)

-60% of fears are baseless; they never come true

- 20% of fears focus on the past. Remember what happed in the past is our of our control. Let it go.

- 10% of fears are based on such insignificant things that they will not make an important difference in our lives.

- Of the remaining 10% only 4% to 5% could be considered justifiable fears.

- These stats demonstrate that we invest 95% of our time and energy in fears that do not produce anything positive and represent a big waste of time!

Madrano wrote:Now i have a question for you about the doctor & the character Sarton expressed. Laura said she wanted to die her own way & he agreed. Yet the two most draining events of her dying appeared to be instigated by the doctor--the hospital stay and taking her outdoors. And yet at the end Laura thanks him for allowing her to die as she wished.
---------------

As with Sarton's journals, the character of Laura seems to be of both minds. She wants to be alone, yet enjoys the company of people.

I think she wanted to be alone because she didn't want to be dependent on anyone. It's embarrassing on some level to have to be cared for like a child. And she wanted to be free to think and have her last moments as she wished. Reading, music and the gift of silence to think. But this was before she was in the last stages and even those pleasures lost interest for her.

I think the doctor really thought she would like to be outside. But at this point, it was too late. She was already turning inward for the next step of her journey.

As to the hospital, I was perplexed by that. It was clear the hospital could be of no use to her. He was able to treat her by draining lungs at her home. I saw no point in putting her through the x-rays and such. Perhaps, in the end, as a doctor, he was also having trouble dealing with her eminent death and his inability to stop it.

It must be very hard for people in the medical profession to deal with this on a regular basis.

Madrano wrote:
And i'm curious to know what you thought of Snab showing up at the end? A bit corny, but also a completion of two tasks for Laura. One wonders if all along she might have suspected that Ella might have the answer regarding L's mother. I didn't sense it as we read but in retrospect, given the fact she did help L in that regard, maybe so. Any thoughts on that?
--------------

Maybe it was a bit corny, but I am glad she came. Even if I could hardly see the page through my tears!

I guess it gave her a bit of closure. Laura could be who she was in front of her family and not have to experience the critical eye of her mom.

Though to be fair to the mom, this was a different era than today. And it wasn't something that I think many parents of that era would have found to be acceptable.

It was interesting that Laura's own son didn't reveal his own homosexualtiy to her until the very end. Maybe that was a gift to him in some way. She didn't want to be like her mother and have her son bottle up his true feelings. She wanted him to know she accepted him.

I know the painting the son did was too vibrant for her as she was dying, similar to the garden experience, but I sort of winced when he saw the painting was turned to the wall.

Sometimes just reading over a journal with inspiration quotes can turn around ones thinking.

Some quotes on fear, anxiety, negativity.

Some quotes from the book:
How to Overcome Fear: How to Overcome Fear and Live Life to the Fullest~~Marcos Witt

Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood. ~ Marie Curie

We fear things in proportion to our ignorance of them. ~ Tito Livio, historian

The more we know the truth, the greer we wil be of fear.

Fear always wants to see things as worse than they are.~ Tito Livio

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself! ~FDR

A few quotes from elsewhere

FEAR - False evidence appearing real

He who fears that he will suffer, already suffers from his fears. ~ Montaigne

The thing you fear most has no power over you. Your fear of it is what has power over you. ~Oprah

Fear has its uses, but cowardice does not. Perhaps I will not put my hands in the mouth of a serpent. But looking at one should not fill me with fear. The problem is that many times e dies before death comes for us. ~ Gandhi

Alias, thanks for the additional notes on the books Sarton mentioned, as well as the quotes. (Favorite, Gandhi's "The problem is that many times we die before death comes for us.") I'm with you on trying to keep Sarton's work on the shelves. I hope they don't end up discarding them but you just never know what the determining factor will be.

The stats on the study fear were interesting. I smiled when i realized that if i gave them to my sister, she would focus on the 40% of fears that are not baseless. I just don't think we are very lucid when we are worrying.

Like you, Alias, i am drawing from personal memories as i consider this book. Indeed, my dad went through a bit of a crisis just last week, as i was reading, so many more points seemed valid, particularly the helplessness in needing to rely on someone else. And i realized i want to keep her better thoughts in mind over the visit of my children. That it's the time we can spend together, not the decor, food or gifts that will linger months from now.

You make a good point about the human aspect of the doctor. This may be what Sarton had in mind with the hospital stay, objectionable as it was. It was also clear that she was declining much quicker than he anticipated at first, when she thought she'd have another year. Still, at that point...can you tell i'm really torn? I think this comes from the fact my father, too, doesn't want to go to the hospital, particularly to die, which is one of his fears (and thanks for those good quotes!).

I agree with you about the son's painting turned to the wall. I suppose it was to help illustrate that even her pleasure in art and children had slipped away. Still, it almost seemed as though it would take more energy to ask that it be moved, than to avoid looking at it. Spoken by a healthy woman, right?

As for the ending, you make a good point. I, too, was reading through blurred eyes, corny as i knew it was. LOL--i guess that's the thing about such endings! I also appreciated that Sarton was illustrating the eternal aspect of her friendship, in that they hadn't seen each other in decades but "felt" each other at the end.

As i read your thoughts about the mother, and how it was a different era when she raised her daughters, i realized that was what Sarton probably wanted to express. If the reader today is to incorporate the changes Laura & her family/friends discuss about improvements in the quality of women's lives since the feminist movement, then this is part of it. Her mother was apparently a frustrated woman, one who was only "allowed" to express her talents in situations helpful to her husband. In a different era, she might not have been hustled into marriage, nor even thought that was her first/sole option.

This is one of those examples of Sarton's slight of hand. The more i consider the maternal influence in this book, the more i realize Sarton was quietly making more than one point. Very nice. On the other hand, does it tell us anything about Laura's choices as parent/wife?

deborah, still thinking about this book the more we share

Madrano wrote: I agree with you about the son's painting turned to the wall. I suppose it was to help illustrate that even her pleasure in art and children had slipped away. Still, it almost seemed as though it would take more energy to ask that it be moved, than to avoid looking at it.
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Oh, your comment reminded me about the daughter who she told to play the guitar downstairs, while she, Laura, was upstairs. As you noted, even though at the end music was one of the few things she wanted to focus on, even that was now too much for her.

Though like the son and his painting turned toward the wall, I felt a pang when she was told to play downstairs. But her daughter's music still sort of serenaded her on her last voyage. A loved one playing, not Mozart or other grand master.

I guess the more one thinks about it, it was a story of the stripping away to only the self. The garden and flowers, the sons painting, the guitar music at the end were not what was essential. What was essential was setting things right with her son for example, and of course seeing Ella. People not things, even beautiful things which make us happy, are what is key.

Oh how I loved the last few paragraphs. The image of the web.

"There was nothing now, no silent thread to hold her back. She had only to let go, let the tide gently bear her away. She felt light, light as a leaf on a strong current."

I liked the way the last line echoed back the aunt's suggestion of an ascent. In all, a "good" death, to be envied by many. I am impressed that Sarton, who wouldn't die for another 15 or so years yet seemed to zero in on the important things and how interest in them would diminish. Whether or not this is true, i do not know. Yet, it makes a certain sense. Time will tell...

I was reading the February issue of Whole Living magazine and read about a book that immediately brought Sarton to mind. To me, Sarton is all about simplicity and enjoying solitude.

The book in the magazine was:

Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking~~Susan Cain

At least one-third of the people we know are introverts. They are the ones who prefer listening to speaking, reading to partying; who invent and create but prefer not to pitch their own ideas; who favor working on their own over brainstorming in teams. Although they are often labeled “quiet,” it is to introverts we owe many of the great contributions to society—from Van Gogh’s sunflowers to the invention of the personal computer.

Passionately argued, impressively researched, and filled with the indelible stories of real people, Quiet shows how dramatically we undervalue introverts, and how much we lose in doing so. Susan Cain charts the rise of “the extrovert ideal” over the twentieth century and explores its far-reaching effects—how it helps to determine everything from how parishioners worship to who excels at Harvard Business School. And she draws on cutting-edge research on the biology and psychology of temperament to reveal how introverts can modulate their personalities according to circumstance, how to empower an introverted child, and how companies can harness the natural talents of introverts. This extraordinary book has the power to permanently change how we see introverts and, equally important, how they see themselves.

Hardcover, 352 pages
Expected publication: January 31st 2012 by Crown (first published January 24th 2012)

Interesting idea for a book. As often happens when i read about such books, i wonder about the premise. I wasn't aware that "we undervalue introverts". It seems to me that undervalue is the wrong word unless she means that by praising the extrovert, we less appreciate the introverts. As an introvert i've found observing people at gatherings (& when better than this season?) to be enlightening.

I doubt i'd read a book on the topic but i like the subtitle. Wonder how many times she uses the expression, "Still waters run deep"? Over the years i've had those words shared with me when people notice i'm not talking much. I used to consider it a compliment, as in, you KNOW me! LOL

deb, not at all shy with typing!

I'm not very outgoing. I do think that extroverts are more highly viewed than introverts. I guess people think they are more fun to be around.

I think this would be a good companion book to
Bright-sided: How Positive Thinking Is Undermining America~Barbara Ehrenreich

I remember when you told us about the Ehrenreich book, Alias. I was with my SIL who has brain cancer and hesitated telling her about it, even though it sounded up her alley. She broached the subject and we shared much about that positive thinking, as you might imagine.

One of the things which attracted me to my DH in the first place was how out going he is and how at-ease he was at parties. I was vicariously basking in his efforts, too. Now i can hold my own, at least.

deb