Horror Aficionados discussion

Something I used to play in a few forums that I no longer visit but it was fun so I thought I'd try to revive it here.

Rules are simple: you make a wish then the person after you grants it, but corrupts the answer.

So, if I wished for eternal life, the next person would say something like:
"Granted, but you get old and remain bedridden for eternity."

So, let the games begin!

-----

I wish I had ten million dollars.

Granted, but you are on a deserted island and therefore can't spend it.

I wish I could read minds.

Granted, but you go insane from mental overload.


I wish I had a new car.

Granted, but you get dis functional breaks.

I wish for world peace.

Granted, but you get it through a massive reduction in world's population. pop:3000 welcome to the new world order!


I wish for a free trip to Hawaii.

Granted, but Kilauea decides to erupt 5 minutes after you land forcing an emergency evacuation of the whole state.

I wish I would win the lottery.

Granted, but you spend that money and what little money you had before and now you're bankrupt and your house is foreclosed on.

I wish I could sing like Adele.

Pissed Off Genie is a fun game.

Granted. You have the voice of Adele but the body of Stephen Hawking.

I wish I could fly.

Granted, but you don't know how to land, forcing you to crash and suffer extreme pain.

I wish I was desired by all women.

Granted, now you're so raw you walk bowlegged.

I wish I had a new Mustang.

Granted, but you lose you arms and legs and are unable to drive.

I wish I would be less raw walking around bowlegged.

Granted, now you're a celibate monk.

I wish Ashton Kutcher would disappear.

Granted, Ashton Kutcher disappears but Carrot Top appears and he is your roommate.

I wish I was 18 years old again!

Granted this time your acne does not disappear with time, overtaking your face, you essentially become a walking cesspool of puss.

I wish monks did not have to be celibate.

Granted, monks don't have to be celibate, they are allowed to take goats as wives.

I wish Halloween was every day.

Granted, but your face becomes a grotesque monster like form wich you will have to live with.

I wish goats had boobs.

Granted, but they also suffer from raging cases of PMS.

I wish I had a personal assistant.

Granted, you have a personal assistant, he is Mr Bean.

I wish I didn't have to go workout.

Granted, but you look like Jabba on a couch

I wish i didn't have to cook.

Granted, you will now eat an unlimited supply of spaghetti o's, and only spaghetti o's.

I wish there was a cure for pms

Granted, but your house reeks constantly of chocolate.

I wish I could relax.

Granted, you will no longer have any emotion, or care...

I wish I liked chocolate.

Granted and you rave about it so much that over time everyone hates you.

I wish Santa was REAL.

Granted, but you will forever be on his naughty list.

I wish everyone loved me.

Granted, and everyone comes over to you to get your attention and tramples you into the ground in the process.


I wish I could understand bird speech.

Granted, but in order to do so you now have only a bird's brain, bird speech is now the only thing you understand.

I wish I were indestructible.

Granted, but you will eventually watch everyone around you die.

I wish I was a Muppet.

Granted, everyone tries to shove their dirty hands up your behind.

I wish everyone I loved would be granted eternal life.

Granted, but they would get so weary from life on earth that they would hate you for making them eternal.

I wish Reese's cups had zero calories.

Granted, but the peanut butter that is calorie-free causes you to become constipated.

I wish I could sing... lallalala

Granted, but you suffer from severe stage fright and will never be able to perform for anyone.

I wish I was thin.

Granted, but you waste away to nothing. (Thank you, Stephen King)

I wish I was taller.

Granted, you grow 17 inches overnight but your extremities remain the same size so you inherit a 'pinhead', and tiny hands and feet!


I wish I starred in the movie Lord of the Rings.

Granted, but the prop ring you wear (your precioussssss!) really has magical powers and slowly morphs you into Gollum.

I wish I could marry Liv Tyler.

Granted, Steven Tyler is now your father-in- law :)

I wish i read faster.

Granted, but you cannot remember anything you read.

I wish I lived in a bigger home

Granted, welcome to PennHurst Haunted Asylum. Glad to have you as our newest ghost.

http://pennhurstasylum.com/

I wish I could travel in space.

Granted, but the window cracks, oh no....

I wish my kids would sleep through the night.

Granted, but they snore so loudly no one can sleep in a 5 mile radius.

I wish I could time travel.

Granted but you travel too far back and find yourself floating in space with no protection...

I wish we could get some snow for christmas

Granted but there's so much snow it's broke the power lines so you sit trapped in your house with no heat, no lights, no...

I wish I could swear freely at work

Granted, but people think you have Tourette's Syndrome.

I wish i could write a novel.

Granted, but you write that one masterpiece and then disappoint your fans and the critics with the books that come after and you're labeled a hack and a one-hit wonder.

I wish I had a live in maid.

Granted, but she sleeps with your husband, befriends your pets and basically steals your life; and then sends out a hit man on you.

I wish I didn't have to work!

Granted but with no income you lose everything & everyone, dying alone and forgotten.

I wish I was immune to the common cold.

Granted, but that opened you up to everything else, how goes your leprosy?

I wish pop did not make me burp.

Granted but now you have a problem with explosive farting.

I wish I didn't have to sweat.

Granted, now all excess water come out in tears causing an unsightly and painful rash along the side of your nose.

I wish crap smelled like roses.

Granted, however roses now smwll like crap.

I wish for dumb people to be sent in a rocket ship headed for the Sun.

Granted but since the definition of 'dumb' was decided by someone else, I hope you have a lot of sunblock.

I wish I had a decent car.