Dreamspinner Press discussion

Lori C. Hawkins joins us on Saturday from 1-6 pm EST to discuss her books, share excerpts, and more!

Happy Saturday everyone! Thanks for dropping by. I guess I could start by introducing myself to those of you who don't know much about me.

I'm a New York City native who grew up in the heart of NYC's Chinatown. Even though I was born here in the U.S. my first language was Cantonese and I did not really speak English until I went to school.

When I was in middle school, we moved to Staten Island where I had a rude awakening to being different. It's my experience as an outsider in suburbia that informs most of my writing.

Even though I write full time now, I had a number of careers before settling down to writing M/M. I've been an engineer and a trader for a well known bank in San Francisco. Again, careers that are non-traditional for women and again I was an outsider. Maybe I just have a conformist streak.

Okay so what about my writing? I'd say I started off with something "safe". Finding Forever was my "safe" work. I was mindful of not taking many chances in content or concept and the result was a sweet little romance. Hmmm....maybe too safe.

So in my next story, Solstice Bushes and Hanukkah Bushes I took a chance.

Solstice Bushes and Hanukkah Bushes is the most personal of my stories. It breaks the rules about polite conversation: never discuss sex, politics or religion. Taking a page from Ray Bradbury about what to write (rather than how to write) I decided to write about being an outsider among outsiders.

For this story I pulled in my own experience as a non-Christian in an inter-racial relationship, who's relationship with her own family is burdened by the lack of language skills and who has had to fight traditional gender roles within an ethnic culture.

Hi Lori

Just popping in to say hello!

I see from your background we have something common apart from writing - I used to be an engineer as well :)

So what are you working on next? And is there something you'd love to write that you've not attempted before?

Rebecca

Hi, Lori,

Checked your page. Interesting books you've got. So...not to sound TOO eager, but how about some tasty excerpts? :D

Susan wrote: "Hi, Lori,

Checked your page. Interesting books you've got. So...not to sound TOO eager, but how about some tasty excerpts? :D"

*Waves at Susan* ... I think saw you about on GR last weekend as well :)

Rebecca

Rebecca wrote: "Hi Lori

Just popping in to say hello!

I see from your background we have something common apart from writing - I used to be an engineer as well :)

So what are you working on next? And is there ..."

Hi Rebecca,

Thanks for dropping by! What sort of engineer were you? My degree is in metallurgical engineering and I worked in electronics assembly for military satellites for 18 years.

Currently, I'm working on something lighter. It's a rom-com with paranormal overtones. Comedy by the way is something I've never attempted. We'll see how it develops.

Have a great day :-)

Lori wrote: metallurgical engineering and I worked in electronics assembly for military satellites for 18 years..."

How cool does that sound !!... I was a biochemical engineer - specialising in monoclonal antibodies and vaccines.

Good luck with the humor - its a tricky balance but great fun... I'm sure you'll do brilliantly

Rebecca

Susan wrote: "Hi, Lori,

Checked your page. Interesting books you've got. So...not to sound TOO eager, but how about some tasty excerpts? :D"

Hi Susan,

I'd be glad to post excerpts :D. I have an excerpt planned from my latest release but I'll take particular requests for other titles too.

Lori wrote: "Susan wrote: "Hi, Lori,

Checked your page. Interesting books you've got. So...not to sound TOO eager, but how about some tasty excerpts? :D"

Hi Susan,

I'd be glad to post excerpts :D. I have an ..."

Requiem for a Broken Dream is the latest, yes? I look forward to a sneak peak from this the most!

Rebecca wrote: "Susan wrote: "Hi, Lori,

Checked your page. Interesting books you've got. So...not to sound TOO eager, but how about some tasty excerpts? :D"

*Waves at Susan* ... I think saw you about on GR last ..."

*Waves back at Rebecca* I'm over at GR almost daily checking out what's going on.

Lori, I've never know a woman engineer. More power to you :D

Requiem For A Broken Dream:

I guess one sure thing one can say about my writing is that I like to try different things. Finding Forever is pure romance. Solstice Bushes and Hanukkah Wishes is an mediation on culture, religion and assimilation. Requiem For A Broken Dream is a mystery that happens to have a romance in it.

As you can see from my GR profile old Hollywood movies has been one of my biggest influences. My middle school and high school years were quite lonely. I was one of only 3 or 4 Chinese kids in a suburban school and I experienced quite a lot of bullying. Being a bit gender non-conforming back in those days didn't really help either.

The only kids that would befriend me were the other kids who were also bullied, like the Jewish kids. So my summers and free time were spent watching old movies and reading voraciously. Requiem is my homage to Hollywood noir.

Lori wrote: "Requiem For A Broken Dream:

I guess one sure thing one can say about my writing is that I like to try different things. Finding Forever is pure romance. Solstice Bushes and Hanukkah Wishes is an m..."

An homage is beautiful foundation for a novel, especially for a romance. It speaks of a positive attitude that puts all those bullies in shame.

Great for you, Lori (speaking as one who was bullied in school too).

Excerpt: Requiem For A Broken Dream

First a little background. Nick and Dean meet under the least romantic circumstance you can think of. They meet when, while in a drunken stupor, Dean stumbles into Nick's apartment but ends up being ejected when he throws up on Nick's floor. The next day Dean apologizes and they form a casual friendship that over time deepens into something more.

Nick wants to move forward in the relationship but Dean mysteriously tells Nick that things are too complicated for anything more than just a friendship. But what are these complications and why is Dean being so cagey?

Here is an excerpt. Dean pays a surprise visit to the cafe where Nick works:

“You don’t by any chance have someone named Nick working here, do you?” a familiar voice asked Lyle.

Nick felt a thrill of excitement when he recognized that it was Dean. “He certainly does work here, and that mess you’re making is making him work even harder,” Nick called out in a cheerful voice and made a great show of mopping up the trail of water that Dean had tracked across the floor with his rain-soaked shoes. His efforts provoked a smile that set off a flush of butterflies in Nick’s chest, which became fireworks when Dean lowered the hood of his sopping wet jacket to reveal an adorably wet and tousled head of wavy dark hair.

“Hi. I couldn’t remember the name of the place, but I did remember you saying that it was across from the theater. So here I am,” he said and ran his hand through his hair to comb the dripping strands from his forehead.

With a little laugh, Nick took the tea towel that he had tucked into the waist of his apron and handed it to Dean. “I’d say you came in just in time. You’re just about drowned.”

As he watched Dean run the towel over his wet hair and face, Nick felt a wave of longing come over him. Soaked to the skin and slightly shivering, Dean had that lost look about him that tugged at Nick’s heartstrings.

“You look like you can use a large cup of Uncle Nick’s rainy-day brew,” he told Dean and pulled out a chair for him to sit in.

While Nick worked the espresso machine, Lyle stood close by and watched. “Is that him?” he asked in a low voice. Nick felt the color rise in his cheeks. “Yeah, isn’t he cute?” Lyle tilted his head slightly to steal a look at their latest customer. “Good thing for you I’m straight or you’d have competition,” Lyle quipped and made Nick blush even harder.

“Here we go. Double-shot latte with cinnamon and a pinch of nutmeg.” While Dean drank his hot drink, Nick pulled up a chair and joined him. He watched as Dean took a sip, and when he sighed with contentment, Nick gave himself a little congratulatory smile. Giving his unexpected visitor a fond look, Nick asked, “So what brings you out here on a day like today? Not that I’m complaining.”

“I was on my way home from… you know. It was kind of a rough morning, and I just needed to get away. Then my car broke down. After that, I just started walking and ended up here.

” A familiar knot started to form in Nick’s belly. “Are you all right? I was serious about calling the police.”

“I’m fine; it wasn’t anything like that.”

“Well, I’m glad you found me ’cause I have some good news. I finished my screenplay.”

Dean gave Nick a playful punch on the arm. “That’s terrific. So I guess you’ll be starting that novel you wanted to write.”

Nick felt a crackle of electricity between them with even that brief touch, and he wanted to sweep Dean into his arms. “Not anytime soon,” Nick said with a laugh. “I still need to sell the script.”

“You still going with the idea of getting Stone Carter to make the movie?”

“That’s the plan.”

“You’ll be careful, won’t you? Keep it all business and let your agent handle the deal, especially if you actually get Carter to buy the script. Don’t let him talk you into anything.” Nick gave Dean a puzzled look.

“Well, yeah, of course. I don’t know anything about contracts or any of that legal stuff.”

Dean seemed satisfied with that answer and nodded. Then, smiling brightly, he said, “I have some good news too. I finished shooting that TV pilot yesterday. It’s all up to the powers that be now.”

“That’s great news! When are you going to know if they’ll do the series?”

“I don’t know. Soon, I hope. And if they go for a full series, I’m going to make some changes to my life,” Dean said softly as he doodled an imaginary design on the tabletop with his finger.

Nick wasn’t sure what Dean meant by changes, but a nagging voice in his head told him not to rush to any conclusions about anything. Draining the last of the warm drink, Dean got up to leave.

“Well, I’d better do something about my car before they tow it.”

“Are you going to be around later? We should get together and celebrate. How about we go out to a movie, maybe grab a burger somewhere?” Nick asked hopefully.

“I’m sorry, I’d love to, but I can’t tonight. I have to go back… there. Maybe later in the week depending on how things go,” Dean answered evasively.

Now that's a fascinating excerpt. I want to know what's going on.

Now I'm going to get this on my to-read list :)

How about an excerpt from your Christmas stories? It's dark and snowy here in Finland at 11 p.m. so it would fit the mood.

Lori wrote: "Excerpt: Requiem For A Broken Dream

..."

Great excerpt!

My internet is being patchy, I keep getting kicked off. So just in case I disappear, I'll wish you a great rest of chat and great evening now.

R

Rebecca wrote: "Great excerpt!

My internet is being patchy, I keep getting kicked off. So just in case I disappear, I'll wish you a great rest of chat and great evening now.

R"

Good night to you as well, Rebecca :)

For Susan:

Revelations of the Heart

Later that afternoon when Danny had completed a multi-piece decorative display for CPS Asset Management, one of their new clients on Park Avenue, he headed out into the near blizzard snowfall to make the delivery. He shrugged his leather jacket over the thick sweater he was wearing and wrestled the heavy gold and silver trimmed arrangements into the back of the delivery van. Danny grumbled when wet, fat flakes of snow pelted a bit of exposed neck at the back of his collar. His breath hung heavily in the air and fogged the windshield as he slid into the driver’s seat. As he started the engine and pulled out into traffic, the radio blared out a pop version of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.

CPS Asset Management was twenty blocks away, and in the heavy snow it took Danny nearly an hour to get there.

The lobby where Danny was to install the decorations was an oasis of calm compared to the traffic-snarled, bone-chilling mess outside.
Warm lighting and rich woods exuded an atmosphere of stability and wealth. However, florescent lights harshly illuminated the trading floor where they conducted the actual business of the firm, and its high-energy atmosphere was isolated from the sedate lobby by a nearly floor-to-ceiling glass wall.

When Danny stepped from the elevator, the rows and rows of flat panel screens on the trading floor on the far side of the glass caught his attention, and he scanned the entire length of them before his eyes came to rest on the reception desk on the near side of the glass. A striking woman with skin the color of mahogany was standing in front of it, and she was talking to a handsome broad-shouldered man with a military haircut. When Danny identified himself, the woman greeted him with a warm smile while the man gave Danny a brief, but friendly nod before going inside to the trading floor.

“I’m Susan, the office manager,” she said and “I’ll just quickly go over what we have in mind, and then I’ll leave you to it.”

Susan walked around the lobby as she talked. “I want the poinsettias and flowers scattered around the room. The garland and the miniature Christmas trees go up there,” she said and pointed to a ledge high above the glass wall that separated the lobby from the trading floor.  

Danny looked up worriedly. “That’s pretty high. I’m going I’m going to need a ladder.” Susan chewed on her lower lip for a moment. “We don’t have one handy, but I’m sure I can get one from somewhere.”

While Susan arranged for the ladder, Danny brought up the rest of the decorations and placed them around the room. When all that was left to do was to decorate the high ledge, the ladder was still nowhere in sight, so Danny stood in front of the glass and watched the activities on the trading floor while he waited. He smiled when he spotted the handsome man again and watched as the man larked about with the other workers. When the man got out of his seat to pitch a crumpled piece of paper at the back of one of his co-workers, Danny admired the well-muscled body straining at the crisp blue shirt that covered it, but he tore his eyes away when the man caught him looking and flashed a smile.

Now back on earth, Danny looked at his watch impatiently and wondered about the ladder. The weather outside had worsened over the last hour since he started working on the installation, and he wanted to get back to the shop while the streets were still passable. Spying a small table against the wall, Danny decided to use it to climb up to the ledge. Although barely two feet across, Danny found it surprisingly sturdy when he stood on it. He worked steadily and hummed a little tune as he climbed up and down from the little table with pots of miniature trees and armloads of fragrant pine garland. Danny had just climbed up onto the table with his last armload of garland when he heard someone say, “Oh my God, I’m sorry!”

“Scottie, stop it. I’m trying to sleep,” Danny whispered when he felt someone ruffling his hair. He opened his eyes and expected to see Scott but instead found but instead found himself staring into the long-lashed brown eyes of a stranger. “You’re not Scott. Where am I?” Danny asked with a start and tried to get up.

The stranger kept a restraining hand on Danny’s chest and soothed, “Easy,easy now. You had quite a fall and that’s a real nasty bump you have on your head. Just lie still until the medics get here.” Danny rubbed his eyes and looked in confusion at the man kneeling in front of him. “I’m Sean. Sean Robins, and you’re in my office.

“Oh yeah, right. You were talking to Susan when I came in. I’m Danny, Danny Hillstone. How did I end up here?”

“After you fell off the table, you got up and insisted that you were all right, but you were so out of it we brought you in here. You passed out after we sat you down,” Sean said.

Danny swung his legs over and sat up. “Well, I think I’m okay now,” he said.

Sean sank down on the sofa and raised a hand towards Danny’s head. Danny flinched and pulled away. “I’m just going to check to see if the skin is broken. I couldn’t get a good look at it when you were out. I’ll be gentle,” Sean said softly.

Danny’s breath hitched as he felt Sean’s fingers ruffle through the hair at the back of his head. “Err, I, I, ah, didn’t say anything while I was out, did I?” Danny asked, choosing his words carefully.

“Um, no. No you were out cold,” Sean said, not sounding entirely convincing.

“Well, no broken skin. Now look at me. I just want to check your pupils.” When Danny felt Sean’s warm fingers gently cradling him by the jaw, despite the pain at the back of his head, he felt a flood of great contentment envelope his body.

“You seem to know what you’re doing. Are you a doctor?” Danny finally asked, a split second after he felt himself falling into the depths of Sean’s gaze.

“Not quite. I’m a bond trader, but I was a medic in the Marines. I think you’ll be okay, but you should let a real doctor take a look at you,” Sean continued as he got up from his seat beside Danny.

Danny felt oddly bereft when Sean’s weight lifted from the sofa. Reluctantly he said, “Well, I guess I’d better get going before I get snowed in here.”  

“That wouldn’t be so bad,” Sean said genially. Danny felt a little flutter in his chest and wanted to ask for Sean’s telephone number when there was a knock at the door that was followed in quick succession by a dark, attractive man with
with long flowing hair who darted into the room.

“Hey, I’m here. Ready to go? Oops, I’m sorry. I didn’t expect anyone else in here. It looked like everyone had gone home,” he said when he saw Danny.

Sean quickly looked up and answered, “Oh, hi, Julio. I’ll be a little while yet. I just have to take care of Danny here.”

When Julio gave Sean a funny look, Danny suddenly felt overheated. “I’m fine. I don’t need an ambulance,” Danny said. He then hastily dashed out the door and squeezed past the rescue squad techs that were just arriving at the scene.

That was a great excerpt, Lori :)

And Susan, the office manager, seemed nice, too, just like my namesake should be. *grin*

I'll add this to my to-read list. I love Christmas stories. Sweet.

Could I entice you to give out one last excerpt before the end of this chat...? :)

Susan wrote: "Could I entice you to give out one last excerpt before the end of this chat...? :)"

Sure (iz flattered you asked).

Stay tuned while I post it.

Requiem For A Broken Dream

Dean woke when a soft daylight shone through his eyelids. He did not remember how he’d gotten there, but he definitely did remember where he was and why he was there. He lay there, still exhausted, but for the first time in days he did not feel hung over. Dean finally got up when the soft clink of dishes from somewhere outside the bedroom drew his attention.

“Hey, that smells great. Can I have some?” Dean croaked, referring to a pot of French press coffee that Nick had made a few minutes ago.

Nick turned from what he was doing in front of the stove and looked at his overnight guest with a grin. “Back from the dead, eh?”

Dean yawned and scratched the back of his head. “God, I was so tired. Thanks for letting me sleep. What time is it?”

“Four thirty.”

“Four thirty! Shit, man, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to stay here all day. I didn’t keep you from anything, did I?”

Nick grabbed a cup from the cupboard and filled it with the still-hot coffee. “Relax, it’s fine. It gave me a chance to do some cleaning up around here. My own special blend,” Nick said with a grin and set the cup down in front of Dean.

“Are you hungry? I’m about to make dinner.”

He was still in the process of swallowing his first sip of coffee when he nodded eagerly in response to Nick’s question.

“I’m starved, and this coffee is great. You should open your own shop,” Dean said afterward, his voice still raspy from sleep.

“I might just do that,” Nick said with a light laugh while he pulled dinner ingredients out of the refrigerator.

Dean sat and let the caffeine do its work while the kitchen started to fill with the aroma of tomato sauce and garlic. Revived by the coffee, Dean smiled to himself and enjoyed his view of the jean-clad behind that was darting around the kitchen.

“Well, here we are, linguini with my Grandma Conte’s special sauce,” Nick announced a few minutes later.

“Do you want to tell me what’s been going on?” Nick asked when they had eaten.

Dean played with his fork, scraping it on his empty plate a few times before he sighed loudly and answered, “There’s nothing going on. Just tired. The show really took it out of me.”

“Bullshit. You were a mess last night. What happened? Was it your boyfriend?” Nick answered back in a gentle but firm voice.

“I got myself into a situation and I can’t figure out how to get out of it. I… I just need time to think. I might need to go away for a while,” Dean confessed. When he started to feel a constriction in his chest again, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, but he opened them again when he felt Nick’s hand on his.

“Go away? Why? For how long? What about your TV show?” Nick asked worriedly.

Dean suddenly stood up with a clatter and started to pace. “There may not be a TV show. I don’t know about anything right now!” he said in a loud voice. He was beginning to work himself into such an agitated state again that his breathing began to turn into gulps for air until Nick took him by the shoulders and spun him around.

“I don’t know what to do. Everything’s gone to shit. I just don’t know what to do,” Dean said weakly, his lower lip trembling, tears glistening in his eyes. When Nick gently folded him into a hug, Dean clutched at Nick like a man at sea clutching at a lifeline. The scent and heat of Nick’s body filled his world and pushed away all the pain and guilt that he had been carrying for months. Suspended in that place of calm, Dean knew what he needed.

“I need you. Have sex with me,” he whispered hoarsely.

“What? Dean, I don’t, it’s a—”

“Make me forget everything tonight,” Dean whispered again and caught Nick’s lips in a hungry kiss.

Damn! Way to cut off a girl hungry for more!

Great excerpt - but no fair to stop like that *pouts*

I just bought your Xmas story, and now I'll have to get this too just to find out what's going to happen next. You fiend. Grr...