Chicks On Lit discussion

Hi ladies!
I come to you with a request for advice! I am expecting my first baby next June, and I could use every tip on things I need or need to know!
And name suggestions!

I like Faith and Hope for girls' names. Also I like the name Chastity. And Cherish. So I may be kind of a whacko.

What to Expect when you're Expecting - and all of those books, including What to Eat when...., What to Expect Your Baby's First Year - I HIGHLY recommend ALL those books.

baby socks never stay on... never
You can never have enough wet wipes.
Dont buy too many 0-3 months because it goes by so fast and they are mostly in nighties and onsies especially in June in Texas!
Burp rags are most underrated object out there.
Bag balm is the best non diaper diaper creame out there.
A big diaper bag just gives you an excuse to carry unneeded crap. Go small stay sane.
Do not for the love of all that is good and holy turn your diaper bag into your purse too. You deserve a pretty girly bag not a diaper bag with cheerios stuck to your check book.
If you nurse your boobs are going to HURT at first. Keep at it and they will toughen up. Get a lot of nursing pads. Nothing is worse than being out and realizing you're leaking in front of your boss/neighbor/mailman/cashier/you name it.
Sleep when the baby sleeps. RULE ONE!!! Do NOT try to get the laundry done, make dinner, catch up on reading, mow the lawn. Sleep when baby sleeps!
Baby food bananas taste darn good.
Baby food mac and cheese does NOT.
Play music now for the baby. I swear it helps.

Baby names are so personal.
I say don't go too trendy but dont go too wild.
Do NOT name your child Bronx Mowgli.
Do NOT name your child after the spot you conceived them. (I think my name would be Backseat of GTO)
Think of acronyms of their initials when naming. Especially girls that may one day grow up and marry. For example, Alison Sue Brown is a great name now A.S.B. But if she grows up and marrys a Stewart her name is then Alison Sue Stewart... A.S.S. You then made your daughter an ass.

Most of all enjoy it. I know it can be tiresome and you can feel gross at times but what a magical time it is when you think about it. Life inside you. It's magical and I think it's awesome.

Wow! Tera covered all bases beautifully!

My opinion on names (and the 'guide' we used to name our kids)...will it be a suitable name when they're 40? Will it be a suitable name for a professional career (if they choose to have one)? The acronyms are sooo important, too. The name we originally chose for our daughter would have given her S.A.S. for initials - someone we weren't too fond of said "Great name! We can call her Sassy!". We went back to the drawing board. We ended up with a Sarah and a Geoffrey.

Congratulations on your new adventure! Your life will never be the same! Like Tera said...it is magical and in a blink of an eye they're grown...my baby Sarah is now married and having her 3rd baby in Feb...my baby Geoffrey just proposed and is getting married in June....I swear they were toddlers last week!

I only did the pregnant part but I've watched lots and lots of friends go thru it all and I'm going to re-state some of Tera's here ;)

Bring nursing pads to the hospital with you in your bag...it is so embarrassing when your milk comes in and you were not at all prepared.

Socks never stay on, O-3 months clothes last for about 2 weeks or not at all depending on how big your baby is when they come out.

Yes your butt is going to ache right now in a way that you never thought possible. It took me forever to figure out that my hips were spreading and causing that!! LOL

To breast feed or not is a very personal decision and don't let anyone influence you or sway you from what you want to do with your child. Every mother and child are different and no one can know what your child needs but you.

I have heard that the bottle warmers are a waste (just what I've heard) but the sleep positioners and boppies are a godsend.

You won't need a high chair right away and some babies hate the swings. The Johnny jumpers are super cool and most moms love them.


AS for a name.....very personal and you should take your time choosing it. Whatever you pick will be perfect for your baby because its your baby and you will always know what's best for them. I'm partial to Chloe....that was my daughter's name.....Chloe Liane. And she was beautiful :) And your baby (who will be beautiful also) will have a perfect fitting name for he or she.


PS. I have seriously predicted the sex of all of my friend's babies (how I don't know) but I go by what I instinctively want to call them and I keep wanting to say he for you. Don't know if that's correct or not but "he" keeps wanting to come out when I say the sex. ;) Who knows!!

The best diaper rash cream ever invented is triple paste. It's expensive, but worth every penny. We got one giant jar when our little guy was born. It took us nearly three years to use the whole jar! Seriously! You don't need a lot of it, and it clears up the diaper rash instantly.

Breast feeding is great if it works for you. This is one of those decisions that is ultra-personal. I tried to breast feed... but my little guy kept giving me painful breast infections. I nursed and pumped through it, but it was stressing me out so much it affected my milk supply. I was a much better mother once I decided to stop. But that's just my story!

As for the "What to Expect When you're expecting" book... that book will lead you to believe you will be this horny momma-to-be... I sure wasn't!!! I couldn't get over how much there was in there about sex when you're expecting. And I'm hardly a prude!

The names stuff is also personal to your taste. But naming a child is a great responsibility. Tera had some great points. Just remember that your child has to live with whatever name you give him/her for the rest of his/her life. So what you may think is cute/sassy/trendy right now, may not be when the child hits the 20s and starts looking for jobs. Picture the name on a resume.... or put doctor or professor in front of it. If it sounds ridiculous, then you may want to rethink it.

Congratulations! Enjoy every minute of the pregnancy! And make sure you and your honey spend lots of time together now... because dates will be few and far between that first year! :-)

I heard a commment on the radio that is so true--cleaning your house when you have kids is like shoveling your drive way before it snows.--I have a 3 year old and the last 2 years I think it's just great that we have clean clothes and dishes. Good Luck & Congratulations Emily. Oh, try not to dwell to much on those around you who will immediately start asking you when you will potty train and when you will have an other baby. I swear people started asking me when I was only 6 months pregnant!
Laughter is a great stress reliever. ;^D

A-FREAKING-MEN about the nursing thing.

Good gravy train I delivered all 3 of my babies at the first recognized breast feeding hospital in the US. Some international recognition that had never been given to any hospital in the US until that one. And they were quite proud of it. Consequently the pushed breast feeding down my throat. (figuratively not literally) The pressure! Making it feel if I didn't stick with breast feeding I was poisoning my child.
Well you've seen me and as ironic as it seems with boobs the size of mine I was conviced they were not made for nursing. B nursed for 6 weeks before we both looked at each other and realized this was not working for us. I cried he cried everyone cried, until I just made the damn bottle and we were happy again.
E nursed for like 2 weeks and I produced NOTHING and she sucked at sucking. Our ped looked at me all worried and guilt ridden and said, 'do you want to give her formula' .... 'yes' I said through tears of guilt. 'Then damn woman do it. Why do you think you need permission to feed your daughter.' Best pediatrician EVER! She was on formula and I let go of the guilt to the point that with C. I was really not even going to nurse at all and skip all the hassle. However, the little stinker latched on like it was a life vest and didn't let go until he was about 15 months which i did NOT plan on doing.
So make the choice that is right for you and the baby and if it doesnt work out the way you planned don't beat yourself up and roll with it.

Congratulations, Emily! How exciting! I can't give you any advice as far as the pregnancy since my daughter is adopted but after the baby comes - you will think each new venture or stage they are in is just the most exciting time ever! And they don't stay small for very long, they'll be grown up and out of there before you realize it. My daughter is in college now, but I swear she should still be in kindergarten! So SAVOR those moments! I also agree with the others about names. Bronx Mowgli? Moon Unit Zappa? I know a local couple who recently named their baby girl Jerzee. And of course the first thing that comes to mind, at least here in Nebraska, is a COW! Let me tell you, there were a few raised eyebrows and looks of disbelief the first time many of us heard that name! COME ON! These are precious little beings! What might sound cute when the baby is little isn't going to sound all that great later on. There are many beautiful names out there!

Congratulations!!!

Here are two of the most frequent questions you will hear.....
"are you going to find out what you are having?" (be prepared for the many possible reaction faces if you are not)
AND
"Do you have a name picked out?"

I got so tired of those. I just wanted to post a sign on my belly that said "We don't want to know and are not sharing name ideas. Why? Because I don't want to you hear your opinion on the name that I like.

Tips: (off the top of my head)
1. If you choose to breast feed I highly recommend this book: The Complete Book of Breastfeeding
1a. First BF tip....once they latch, the latch on hard. To unlatch them (no one informed me of this in the hospital) just stick your pinky in their mouth, be ready, they will make it tough, and pop the cute little leach out.

2. Babies heads are way harder then you think. This information will come in handy sooner then you think if you have a boy.

3. Nursery theme's are BS. The baby doesn't give a damn if his sheets match his curtains or his lamp for that matter. Don't cave to the pressure! Those crib sets give you way more stuff then you need. An infant doesn't need a bumper because he can't go anywhere and he'll probably be sleeping with you anyway!

I'm sure I have a ton more. But thats all my am brain can come up with.

Best of luck.

So I just re-joined this group to offer my advice.

You will get alot of it too. so filter out what will and will not work for you. you asked for it here, so we are telling. but there will be more people than you know(moms, grandmoms, women and men) who will offer you advice when all you need/want is for said people to shut-up! just ignore them!

I have two or three things to add to what others have said...

breast-feeding: Every woman is different. My sister could feed a village, my other sister just should not have tried to begin with. I tried and could not (my first was allergic, my second just made me depressed). If you want to and can, DO IT!! more power to you!! If you tried and cannot, DO NOT feel guilty! Bonding with your baby is better than breastfeeding.

Sock, burp clothes, etc:

Like other has said...Socks don't stay on. Robeez do but in June you won't need them.
what they say is true..

Dress your baby like you would yourself, then remove one piece of clothing.

Boppies are over-rated. use a pillow.
When you think you have enough burp clothes, get more.
Pacifiers are not the devil!

Names: I agree to about the intial thing..
but remember monograms too. I am expecting my third. in tossing around names, one combo would have given him W W F as a monogram (last name is the middle initial).


most importantly: get a bouncy seat/swing. something safe to put the baby in. because it will not hurt them to cry while you take a shower, eat, etc. this goes along with the sleeping when they sleep!! If the baby is safely buckled in, s/he is safe! Take a Shower (they are few and far between.

that being said...You cannot hold a baby too much!

Emily, I also wanted to say that What To Expect When You're Expecting scared the crap outta me as there seems to be alot of doom and gloom stuff in that book. The best book I had was this one...

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/82...


And also this one.......

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/35...


I even go back into now and look at the things I wrote down about my pregnancy as it was happening. I love that one and the also have a First Year Journal too. :)

Sydney and Tera....that's exactly what I'm talking about with the breastfeeding. I think its a wonderful thing to do if you can and want to do it. If you can't for whatever reason I think that should be ok too. I've had alot of friends of mine as new moms be bombarded with questions and also chastised about their decisions to do it or not. I think that's so not cool. Its a personal decision and not open for debate or discussion. In my opinion of course!

Roxy....LOVE your sign idea!! I also have had friends not share their name choice with anyone as they didn't care to hear other's opinions. I thought that was smart. She named her baby Octavia and I personally thought it was gorgeous. lol

Congrats! Just relax and enjoy the experience! Nursing pads are essential!!!! I never expected to produce milk when ANY child cried in public but I did. You will learn so much from being pregnant and having a child. Looking forward to hearing all about it!

Congratulations Emily! My advice is don't let anyone push you into anything that you don't want to do/makes you uncomfortable. Complete strangers love to give pregnant women advice. Most of it is well-intended but incorrect.
Good luck! Fortunately you have a wonderful support group here on CoL.

Since I'm single/sans kids, I really don't have any advice, but I loved reading everything everyone else posted. I've had many friend have babies though and this is what I've learned from them...

1) Sleep when the baby sleeps. Who gives a crap if your house is clean.

2) Make sure to dedicate time with your hubby, one on one. Tough, yes but essential for the marriage.

3) Enjoy every last minute in the beginning, you will ever get those moments back. The kiddos grow up soooo quickly.

Names - it's your choice. I recommend waiting until the baby pops out then naming him/her. The name you pick out may not work when you see them and it will just frusterate you. I like Jackson, Peter and Patrick for boys. I've never concentrated on girls names because I know when I have them I will have boys - only because I have no idea how to raise a boy...the universe isn't always that kind to me...

Good luck! You will do splendidly!

I've heard that boys are easier to raise than girls are Kristen!! LOL

Is that true you guys?

My two boys are way less hormonal than my daughter, she is six and acts sort of like she's already pms'ing. My boys are diffrent trouble, more ornery than anything. My husband said when our daughter did start her period we were moving out! Each child brings his/her own form of trouble daily!

That's funny Rachelle.....and quite true I would believe. :)

Oh, as you get closer to your due date, people will regale you with delivery room horror stories. Not sure if this is some twisted rite of passage. It drove me nuts. I finally got to the point where I refused to allow someone to finish said horror story unless it happened to them personally. And even then, I told them I was scared enough, I didn't need any other scary thoughts clouding up my mind!

If people do this to you, remind yourself that everyone is different. There is no right or wrong... only what is right for you! (actually, if you keep your attitude like that before, during, and after pregnancy, you'll be in good shape!)

The which is harder to raise boys vs. girls is a trade off, from what I can see. I have a 3 year old boy but have several friends with girls around the same age and as first born. Here it is,
boys are harder when they are little.....they are (generally) more physical and won't sit still for anywhere as long as girls seem too. You will be a nerves wreck watching your boy run and climb. But let me say I'm glad I had a boy first, he really broke me in.

girls are harder as the approach the teen years. Damn hormones. from what I hear boys become less maintenance.

my parents had 4 girls, then a boy. they swear the one boy is harder than all 4 girls combined!

as for names, my favorites are charles (after my dad) and emmerson for a boy, isabella (too popular right now) and madeline (pronounced Lynn, not Line) for a girl. a little old-fashioned, but not boring.

I only say I wouldn't know how to raise a boy because I was such a girlie-girl growing up and I'm an only child. I know what girls like. I'd be afraid to raise a boy to like girlie stuff then when he gets to school all of his friend make fun of him...This is why I have no kids...

I have heard that boys are harder at first and that girls are he-l-l when they grow up. My parents always say I wasn't that bad. But I had a fear of my parents and getting in trouble with them. I would have hated being known as the "bad child". I was always the one that followed the "rules"...boring I know. All that changed when I grew up...LOL

Thanks for the advice everyone! My husband is the oldest of eight kids, and he says the same thing about boys - harder in the beginning, but much easier as teenagers. That makes a lot of sense with what I know about teenagers.

I'm just taking things one day at a time right now...the first trimester has been rough on me. I keep expecting to feel better the next day because I've rested or whatever, but I'm still tired, and still sick to my stomach. I heard that the first trimester is as physically demanding on a woman's body as climbing Mt. Everest! That made me feel better about having no energy!

I'll keep you guys posted!

Hey,

I loved what Melissa said about knowing which is the front and back of the diaper! Some days, that is really all you should worry about too! I mean it, dont take any of the stuff too seriously. Lighten up and trust your instincts because the worst advice will come from other parents who think they are the experts on all children (and they sooooo ARE NOT!)

The one thing I will second here is about playing music for your baby. We liked classical, it helped my son sleep and it helped the whole family calm down every night. I have played music at night time ever since. Enjoy!

so as far as the boy girl dilemma,

Boys are much harder physically and girls are harder mentally.

I have two boys with a third on the way. A new mom recently asked me when I stopped worrying. I told her I finally reached a point when I stopped trying to prevent the boo-boos and fixed/kissed them when they happened. I have been to the ER more with my 2-year old than I personally have been in mt life.

boys will turn ANYTHING into a gun or sword. and girls will play house with tanks and gi joes if she has to. It is just natural!!

Sarah - LOL!!! My son hit the sword stage this summer. Then the neighbor boys showed him about guns. things I never thought could be guns have become guns and swords.....well even eating pretzles sticks even turns into a sword fight!

we are dealing with the "KILL" word lately. who knew a 3 year old could know what that means?? I let a lot slide (with boys you have to) but not that!! fun times!

Congrats Emily!
Just enjoy each day. I think that's the best piece of advice I ever got.

P.S. I think boys are easier. I have 3 of each sex. :P

6 Kids, Shelby. Wholey Crap. A modern day Brady Bunch huh? You are my hero - I don't even think I could handle one.

How about Emmie for a girl or Brockton for a boy... Love those names...

Congrats on the pregnancy! I have two myself who are 10 and 12 and a girl and boy respectively AND we are considering adding another one soon. I have to wait until my spouse is in the same room with me of course, since right now he is not even on the same continent as I am!! haha

But one thing I know that I would do different is to not get bogged down with all the 'stuff' that is marketed for babies. It is totally ridiculous in my opinion and way to much to keep up with. I look at what my kids own now and it is completely ridiculous. So much so, that for Christmas this year, we ar doing something completely different. No gifts, instead the kids and I are going on a cruise and making memories instead so we don't bring anymore 'stuff' into the house.

I am meandering here.... in a nutshell, save yourself a ton of money and time by not buying into everything that is marketed for babies which you would be throwing or giving away shortly. And then beating yourself up for what you spent on it.

Great news Emily! Enjoy your pregnancy..it's a wonderful time to be a woman.
My advice would be to borrow as much as you can. Babies go through every thing so fast.

AMEN Paige!!

Whoever said "This is the only [Fill in the blank:] you will ever need for your baby" is a big fat LIAR! babies are expensive. every mom I know has had at least 3 or more diaper bags and 2-5 strollers. so don't go over board. on everything!