Books Without Borders discussion

1. Who was your favorite character? Why?

2. What do you think motivated Hilly? On the one hand she is terribly cruel to Aibileen and her own help, as well as to Skeeter once she realizes that she can’t control her. Yet she’s a wonderful mother. Do you think that one can be a good mother but, at the same time, a deeply flawed person?

3. Like Hilly, Skeeter’s mother is a prime example of someone deeply flawed yet somewhat sympathetic. She seems to care for Skeeter— and she also seems to have very real feelings for Constantine. Yet the ultimatum she gives to Constantine is untenable; and most of her interaction with Skeeter is critical. Do you think Skeeter’s mother is a sympathetic or unsympathetic character? Why?

4. How much of a person’s character would you say is shaped by the times in which they live?

5. Did it bother you that Skeeter is willing to overlook so many of Stuart’s faults so that she can get married, and that it’s not until he literally gets up and walks away that the engagement falls apart?

6. Do you believe that Minny was justified in her distrust of white people?

7. Do you think that had Aibileen stayed working for Miss Elizabeth, that Mae Mobley would have grown up to be racist like her mother? Do you think racism is inherent, or taught?

8. From the perspective of a twenty-first century reader, the hairshellac system that Skeeter undergoes seems ludicrous. Yet women still alter their looks in rather peculiar ways as the definition of “beauty” changes with the times. Looking back on your past, what’s the most ridiculous beauty regimen you ever underwent?

9. The author manages to paint Aibileen with a quiet grace and an aura of wisdom about her. How do you think she does this?

10. Do you think there are still vestiges of racism in relationships where people of color work for people who are white?

11. What did you think about Minny’s pie for Miss Hilly? Would you have gone as far as Minny did for revenge?

Ok, I'm going to just jump in here and discuss.

I adore this book and how she painted each character. It's been a long time since I read a book of this length so quickly and have had it stick with me for so long.

#1 - Oddly enough Celia is my favorite character. I love her innocence. I enjoyed how in a time of warped values she was one of the few to know and savor what she was given in life. From her house to her husband and to the skills a person could share and friendships that she either made or realized weren't worth it.

I'm only going to answer 2 questions even though I think I could go on and on.

#10 I think about this one a lot. Maybe because my family is mixed or maybe because when I was little I thought that by the time I had kids racism would disappear. It's always fascinated me, racism. How people could just hate for no reason.

I was raised in very white small towns, but seemed to gravitate to the few minorities (like the one black kid there ever was).

By chance I met my husband who is black, not because I "dated black guys", but just because he was a friend of a friend and he was super cute. After we started dating I immediately felt the layer of hate that people walk around with and will try and hide or spread out far and wide.

I remember telling my husband that people can change, people can learn to let go of this hate. I now see it differently. That sort of hate is like a stain. In fact, now I am more in awe of those people who grew up amongst that racism and rise above it (Skeeter). It's fascinating that they just know it's wrong and won't give in.

I see it these traces of racism in odd pockets - older people in the grocery store glaring at my kids, people clutching their purse if my husband walks past, stupid STUPID remarks that people don't know they are making "black babies are the cutest little things". It's hard to let go, it's hard to say that we've come so far from the time of this book.

My last statement: It was so difficult to read some parts of the book, to see the mistreatment and how the human soul still moves on. I want my kids to hold on to stories like this. To know that someone in their family survived and was strong. I want them to see how much someone gave so that they could feel free.

It was just a well written book, taking such a complicated and powerful topic and facing it head on. Lovely.