Bookepedia discussion

This is something I just started typing and it turned into this. Let me know what you think.


For the world of love none can describe less they themselves fall into that fateful pit.

Is is courage or fear that compels them to throw their happiness to the mercy of others?
Fear of being forever alone, and courage to even take a chance of loosing in such a game.

Why do they not simply lock their hears away and live as nicely as they can without ever trying?
Because what kind of living would that be? Where no one is truly caring or compassionate.

It would be a hollow life, and just how I could not stop the rain so I cannot stop my love.

It would try to make it ryme more but it is good!

Yeah, I didn't spend a lot of time on this one, just sort of jumped out of my head while I was trying to do something write. Usually I make everything rhyme. Thanks fro the feed back!

If it makes you feel any better I am really dad at writing poems! I could post 1 for you write now if you want me to!

Yeah you should do that! I love to read other peoples style of writing! And I don't mind criticism, I enjoy it. It shows someone noticed what I did not:D Anyways I am unoffendable.

“Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary.
It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body.
It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things.”
~ Winston Churchill

Okay here it goes it is called growing up!
Growing up is a rollercoaster ride it has its ups and downs.
As we wait for the ride to begin
Distant howl’s in the wind,
The sound of the wheels on the track sounds like a melody of a beating heart,
As the memories of my childhood roll through my mind!

As the rollercoaster ascends, the wind in my hair, the sun in my eyes.
Wanting to be free not knowing what will happen- the unspeakable one thinks.
As the rollercoaster descends there is a sense of direction, hope, and relief!!

But wherever our rollercoaster takes us we will be ready to take flight.
Whether we are ready or not we will take our ride,
We will roll and coast to an UNkNowN land and begin our new life!!!

I like it, it does not flow quite right though but I am bad at reading poetry and getting the flow right in my head. I think it is interesting you have versus of three lines. I don't do that. I still like it though, good idea for a poem!

Thanx tha really means al ot! But what do you mean about flow right??

Ok there are two lines that caught my attention, and I am happy to tell you what they are and what I think is wrong with them, but you have to promise not to get offended and to remember this is just my opinion and the writers opinion is more important K?

1. The line "As we wait for the ride to begin distant howl’s in the wind" does not make sense to me.

2. "The sound of the wheels on the track sounds like a melody of a beating heart" I think is should be "The sound of the wheels on the track sounds like (the) melody of a beating heart" but other than that the poem flowed nicely.