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Feeling Nostalgic? The archives > "It was a one in a million shot, Doc, a one in a million!"(Richard Gere would <3 this thread)

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message 1: by Dave (new)

Dave Russell Oh, the stories you find on the internetz.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newst...



message 2: by Lori (new)

Lori HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Accidentally sat on. Riiiight!


message 3: by RandomAnthony (new)

RandomAnthony | 14536 comments Holy crap, that made my day, Dave...

Others include a can of deodorant, a cucumber, a Russian doll-and a carnation

Priceless, sir...


message 4: by Dave (new)

Dave Russell Yeah, I was really wondering about the carnation. Isn't that a flower?


message 5: by RandomAnthony (new)

RandomAnthony | 14536 comments Not anymore.


message 6: by Dan (new)

Dan Schwent (akagunslinger) Yup, that's what I thought this thread was about. A potato? I don't even have a witty remark for this. It's slightly less suspect than the cucumber, though.


message 7: by Michelle (new)

Michelle (ingenting) I'm just happy he didn't fall on a gerbil.


Jackie "the Librarian" | 8991 comments Cucumbers must have been out of season.


message 9: by Lori (new)

Lori Yup. Too soft.


message 10: by Cyril (new)

Cyril So much for patient privacy.


message 11: by Meen (last edited Dec 01, 2008 05:44PM) (new)

Meen (meendee) | 1733 comments I'm still stuck (harharhar) on the carnation. Do you think it was like the whole thing, stem and flower and all? Was it prom night? I can't even see how something like a flower (thin stem, soft petals) would be pleasurable...


I have a friend who's an x-ray tech and she always brings home x-ray pics of the various things people lose in the poop shoot. Every visit to her house is more enlightening.


message 12: by [deleted user] (new)

I had a friend that I went fishing with that got a lure jammed into his finger, and we had to go to the hospital to get it removed. While we were there we saw a bowl that had lots of lures in it. We asked what they were, and he said that this was the collection of lures that they had taken out of people, except for one. This guy had gotten a lure stuck in the back of his head and thought he could take it out and nearly passed out, so he went in to have it removed. The doctor removed it from his head and he went to throw it in the bowl, and the guy said no after all that pain he wanted the lure back. So the doctor gave him his lure and he left. But apparently the guy was still upset, because when he got to his car as he was getting in he threw the lure into his car where it hit the passenger window and bounced over and landed on his seat just before he sat down. He had to be really embarrassed when he went back in to have the lure removed from his ass less than five minutes later.




message 13: by Meen (new)

Meen (meendee) | 1733 comments Yeah, but that was from his ass cheek, right? Not from within the ass. ('Cause that would've been most impressive!)


message 14: by [deleted user] (new)

His ass cheek yes, but what a doufus. I don't even want to think how much pain there would have been had it gotten stuck within.




message 15: by Lori (new)

Lori Jim! Great story!


message 16: by Meen (new)

Meen (meendee) | 1733 comments Yeah, it had to be something to do with the prom, I think, Charly. When else do people actually use carnations?


Books Ring Mah Bell Message 12: BEAUTIFUL!

To answer the question above, Mindy, FUNERALS!
"hey, sorry about your grandpa. You wanna go in the bathroom and get freaky with this carnation?"


message 18: by Meen (new)

Meen (meendee) | 1733 comments Ahhhh! That's right! Now, I've got a whole other scenario playing out in my imagination!


message 20: by Meen (new)

Meen (meendee) | 1733 comments Weird how it's all over to the side like that.


message 21: by Sally, la reina (new)

Sally (mrsnolte) | 17373 comments Mod
This is not a spoiler, I'm pretty sure. But that reminds me of something that just happened in The Wind-up Bird Chronicle


message 22: by Leslie (new)

Leslie | 777 comments It's not unusual for peope to show up in the er with foreign bodies in their rectums. I've heard that now people are putting hamsters and gerbils in there!!! Poor creatures.


message 23: by Matthieu (new)

Matthieu | 1009 comments How could I have missed this thread?!?!

Haha, is that true, Leslie? I thought that the gerbil-rectal route only occurred on certain television programs...


message 24: by Cyril (new)

Cyril ...or to certain movie stars.


message 25: by Leslie (new)

Leslie | 777 comments I've never done a chart like that--I do medical coding, so it's hearsay, but I have heard of it. The other foreign bodies, yes, I've done the charts.


message 26: by Kevin (new)

Kevin  (ksprink) | 11469 comments so on the coding do you use code wording like "de-gerbilization" or is a "hamsterochtomy" ? when you say "it is not unusual..." how many times a year would you say you have an incident like this? and also let me say this. that is an exit ramp not a merge lane. EVERYTHING besides what naturally comes out is a foreign body


message 27: by Meen (new)

Meen (meendee) | 1733 comments It is also an orifice with a lot of pleasurable nerve endings, but if you're going to engage in anal play, you have to make sure you have a means to extract what gets inserted.


message 28: by Kevin (new)

Kevin  (ksprink) | 11469 comments exactly, always put a safety harness on any mammals you intend to use for pleasure. or have a Kirby fired up and ready to go on stand-by


message 29: by Leslie (new)

Leslie | 777 comments I've never coded an animal being in someone's rectum, but to code an object, I would code foreign body, then choose natural orifice, as opposed to open wound, then they body system--in this case digestive, then where in the digestive system, since that includes from the mouth to the anus, so I would pick rectum, then I would have to choose if the foreign body was intentionally inserted or unintentionally. So you would get the code for foreign body intentionally inserted into the rectum. Then depending on how it was removed--usually with some type of endoscopy, sometimes surgery, I would code that. As far as frequencey, several times a year, at least--and that would vary by the size of the hospital, how many patients come through the er, etc. Any orifice can have a forgein body, roaches in ears, beads in nostrils, two or three tampons in vaginas, or if anything, such as jewelry, etc, is on the penis, it can come off and get stuck in the woman's vagina. I feel bad for people who come in for stuff like that, it has to be so embarrassing!!


message 30: by Matthieu (new)

Matthieu | 1009 comments Haha, "de-gerbilization"


message 31: by Leslie (new)

Leslie | 777 comments I still don't get what would be so great about having a dead gerbil inside the rectum? It can't breathe in there. Very weird!


message 32: by Chloe (new)

Chloe (countessofblooms) | 347 comments But apparently it's death throes are very pleasurable to the prostate. Not that I know from experience, I'm just sayin'.


message 33: by Meen (new)

Meen (meendee) | 1733 comments Well, yes, the prostate stimulation is always pleasurable in anal play, but I imagine anything involving animals also carries at least a little of its pleasure because there's an animal involved, which is extra illicit.


message 34: by Félix (new)

Félix (habitseven) Leslie -- I'm with you on that one. Also -- these animals have CLAWS and TEETH, all designed to assist them when they feel threatened. Call me a prude, but that goes a bit beyond the pleasure of being more "illicit."

I guess maybe there's a fine line between illicit and goddamned depraved.

Or maybe not ....


message 35: by Matthieu (new)

Matthieu | 1009 comments A very fine line, Larry.


message 36: by Dave (new)

Dave Russell Sally or RA, I just noticed the updated title of this thread. Is that supposed to be a play on emoticons: both a heart and a butt?


message 37: by Sally, la reina (new)

Sally (mrsnolte) | 17373 comments Mod
Not supposed to be a butt, but I now see the resemblance. Hee hee.


message 38: by Félix (new)

Félix (habitseven) Butt maybe I'm missing something on the Gere reference.


message 40: by Kevin (new)

Kevin  (ksprink) | 11469 comments Did he star in the movie Furry Woman?


message 41: by Félix (new)

Félix (habitseven) Ah. Thanks Logan. Now I'm up to speed.


message 42: by Kevin (new)

Kevin  (ksprink) | 11469 comments well, you can't believe everything you read on the internet. i think he did it :)


message 43: by Sally, la reina (new)

Sally (mrsnolte) | 17373 comments Mod
You're telling me that the internet is not the pure vessel of truth I'd always believed it to be?


message 44: by Félix (new)

Félix (habitseven) Say it ain't so.


message 45: by Kevin (new)

Kevin  (ksprink) | 11469 comments well, yah it is. if i come across something especially absurd on the internet i read it out loud to myself. then i can tell people i heard it somewhere. sounds more true


message 46: by Félix (new)

Félix (habitseven) Works for me.


message 47: by Sandy (new)

Sandy (FoggedIn) | 138 comments How pleasurable if the little critter still has its teeth. I mean, it's bad enough that...well...you know. BTW, my mother was an ER nurse ans saw this and many other aberrations we don't see on TV


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