Home Base discussion

This is a story I'm writing. I don't name things till I'm finished with them. And it's going to be written in chapters, short chapters of a short story. I also can't add a summery to it till I'm done 'cause I tend to change courses of what I write. So that's also gonna be added at the end.

I would really appreciate comments, thoughts, reactions, ideas, constructive critism, etc etc! Thanks!

(view spoiler)["Love you too Mom!" I yelled back to my mother as I ran out to join my best friend for life, or bffl, in her car on our way to a party.

Well not just any party, the party. Eric Cubeller, the richest, most popular guy at school was throwing an end of the year party to celebrate all us juniors finally being seniors. Everyone of the class of 2012 was invited. It was supposed to be the party of the year. I couldn't wait.

Savannah and I were wearing opposite colors. Whatever she wore black, I wore white and vice versa. It was a pretty neat idea since we looked opposite. With Savannah's blonde hair, bright green eyes and pale skin and my black hair, crystal blue eyes and tan skin.

"You look great, Savs." I complimented. She did too, being a natural beauty it was hard to look as great as Savannah. "You too, Whit. Ready to go?" Savannah asked with a bright, friendly smile.

"Are you kidding me?" I joked, matching her smile. "I've been ready for three years." I cranked up the radio and put it to our favorite radio station.

We started singing along as she pulled her Volvo out of the driveway, heading to Eric Cubeller's country house. This night was going to be perfect. I could tell already.

*****************************************************************************************

It was about 1 am. The party was almost over and Savannah and I were on the road heading home.

The party had been a blast. We danced, went crazy, typical high school party stuff. But that wasn't the best part. The best part was I had been asked out by Brian Mitch, last years point gaurd on the basketball team and my crush for the past few months. Throughout the party he hang out with me and just as it was ending he asked me out. It was perfect.

Now Savannah was driving me home, knawing at the details about how things were with Brian, where our date would be, when. I answered with a constant blush and smile on my face giving her all the details she wanted.

We were about ten minutes away from home when I saw a black car speed towards ours. I remember Savannah shrieking and swerving the car trying to get out of the way. Then there was a loud bang and everything was black.

And then. . .

I woke up. (hide spoiler)]

(view spoiler)[I woke up to the loud sounds of ambulance and police car sirens. They were everywhere, lights bright and painful to my eyes. I saw Savannah's Volvo, having been crushed in from the side by the other black Honda. It was where I was sitting. It seemed to be a miracle I was still alive.

Then I realized I was lying on the side of the road. What a stupid place to lay me down! I should have been on an ambulance or stretcher. Isn't that what happened? And was I in shock or something? I didn't feel any pain. I should have felt some sort of pain.

Then I heard Savannah. She was screaming, yelling something. I couldn't quite make out the words. I sat up and listened, turning my head I saw Savannah. She was screaming, her face in shock, towards something. I still couldn't make out her words so I read her lips, a talent I had since 3rd grade. She was yelling my name. "Whitney!" What was she yelling about? I was right here. Turn you head Savannah. I'm fine!

Then I followed her gaze. Maybe she thought the other person was me? I heard shock can do that sometimes, make you imagine stuff that's not there. Hallucinate, that was the word. As I followed her gaze I saw a body lying there. That wasn't me. I knew it wasn't I was right here. Couldn't she see? Anyone see?

I got up. My feet felt wobbly like jell-o. I took a small step forward, stumbling, almost falling to the ground. It was weird. I felt as if I didn't know how to walk anymore.

Carefully, taking baby steps I walked towards the body on the side of the road. No one stopped me as I walked by them, pushing them aside. It was like they didn't even know I was there. What was going on?

As I reached the body on the ground I knelt to the ground, slowly, as if something might explode if I sat down too fast.

The body, at least what I thought was a body, was covered in a white sheet. But some hair was sticking out from the top. Black like mine. My face went pale. Could it? Was it? Thoughts raced in my mind the loudest one. Was this girl me?

Was I a ghost? (hide spoiler)]

(view spoiler)[Ghost. They're not real. This can't be me. I'm right here. No, no, NO! My thoughts were racing in my mind as I built up the courage to remove the thin blanket over the body. The hair that looked like mine.

I also had some of the weirdest thoughts that made sense. But I finally understood why people in cop shows would take forever to remove blankets over the body to identify it. It was fear. Fear that this could be someone they knew. They loved. Worse, that this could be them.

It couldn't be me though, I'm right here. I can still feel and touch things. I'm not walking through anything. I can't be a ghost. I'm just in shock, from the crash. I'll get help as soon as I assure myself this isn't me.

Taking shaky breaths, I put my hands on the ends of the white blanket. My fingers brushed the hair and I shuddered inwardly. Taking another deep breath I pull the blanket over the face.

I stared at the face, green eyes and black hair. High cheekbones. For a moment I didn't feel anything. I just stared. Then I had a momentary feeling of relief. This wasn't me. I wasn't a ghost. I was real. Then I felt guilt. This person was dead. Gone, forever. For good and I was happy. Looking back down at the face of the girl. I realized I knew this face, this girl.

She was Reece Evers. My next door neighbor, chemistry lab partner, co-captain of the girls volleyball team and the list goes on. I stared at her feeling numb. I didn't know Reece well. She was just another girl at our school. We never really chatted except at Chem. Yet still I didn't get it. How?

How could she be gone? Just like that? I tried to think back to what must have been a car crash. A car crash I was in. I just remember a scream and crash. It was too foggy to recall. I couldn't think.

Finally I gathered the courage and strength to stand up, though I was still wobbly on my feet as if I had to learn to walk again. I tried to call out to someone, but my voice wouldn't work. It was as if someone had taken away my vocal cords.

I tried to walk but fell back onto my knees. It was weird, because only moments ago I was walking. Sure it wasn't perfect walking but still. Now it was as if I couldn't do anything on my two feet. The only choice I had left to do was crawl. I had to get away though. I couldn't stand to look at Reece or the wreck or anything.

I just needed to think.

Crawling a few feet away, to the side of the road I pulled my knees to my chest and put my head down. I realized there was no longer any warmth on my legs. Even though it was probably 80 degrees out. Then I realized that I actually wasn't feeling anything. I put my hand on the road, moving it around. Nothing. As if my sense of touch was gone too.

First my voice, now this. What had happened to me? And still why wasn't anyone helping me? I didn't get it. What was going on?!

Then I heard a voice behind me. A haunting, quiet, almost distant voice. "Whitney Maria Neil. Welcome to the other world." (hide spoiler)]

So far: That´s amazing!
Mmh... criticism... can´t think of anything.

Thanks! =)