Terminalcoffee discussion

Have you had a major medical procedure? Such as: surgery, colonoscopy, hemorrhoid removal, abortion, etc.? Describe it for us. Quick, before we start to eat.

uh...

I once had a wart sliced off of my shin with a scalpel and some of that freezy-cold stuff from a tube.

I had a sigmoidoscopy*, which is all of the fun of a colonoscopy with none of the anesthesia. I laid on my side on a table and saw my insides through a camera shoved up my ass. It was really something. They squirted water and air during the exam to keep it all lubed up and bloaty for the device and on the way home, my dad took the freaking scenic route (including potholes), even though he knew that I was attempting to hold what would have been a very watery shart.

Also, that morning, I got to administer an enema to myself and almost couldn't do it because I was laughing so hard.

*This procedure was performed after I'd had a fairly significant spell of (still undetermined) rectal bleeding.

Two of my favorite quotes from my doctor:
"Are you sure it's not menstrual?"

And during a rectal exam:
Dr.: "How are you?"
Me: "I've had better days."
Dr.: "Me too."
* EDITED FOR LESS WRITHING

::writhe::

Who is Stina? How does she have 567 comments but we've never heard of her?

Okay, she's obviously someone we know....I'm blanking.

Lg... it's Kristina. I had to change my name because of a potential background investigation. :)

Oh, okay. If they call me I won't say anything bad about you. Unless I absolutely have to.

This thread only has 8 views, and Jim's grocery thread has 37??

ANGRY !!!!

VIEW THE THREAD!!! People, get in here and describe your abortions.

I once broke a toe while demolishing a block wall. I set it with duct tape, and it healed on its own eventually. I also dislocated a shoulder and probably should have had surgery to repair it but didn't. I once stupidly drove a wrench straight through the palm of my hand while changing a saw blade--didn't realize that the saw was still on--and that required some stitches once I pulled the wrench out. Actually, I passed out trying to remove the wrench, not so much because of pain but more because of panic/disbelief at seeing a big piece of metal running clear through my hand.

Hoo boy.

Yikes Jonathan. Was it bloody? Some of those impaley wounds don't bleed very much, which I think makes them even weirder to see.

You're right--it didn't bleed at all until I took the wrench out. Then it bled a lot.

Later, I'm at work.

Stina wrote: "Lg... it's Kristina. I had to change my name because of a potential background investigation. :)"

What potential background investigation? Another sigmoidoscopy?? My friend calls that device Big Bertha.

I'm applying for a job I REALLY want, and there's a background check involved. I've done them before, so I'm not nervous about it, but I don't need anyone stumbling onto goodreads and reading about my sigmoidoscopy or that time my parents found a condom wrapper. :)

PS. I think a sigmoidoscopy is a backdoor investigation, not background.

The device can cover a lot of ground. Good luck in landing that job.

I've never had any major medical procedures. I did spend 11 days in a hospital when I was 4 so doctors could look at my brains and determine I was not epileptic, just quiet.

Nothing here.

My wife had two c-sections, and I was there to view the second of them.

Back in 2001, I had a uh, procedure done to ensure that, er, the number of my offspring would never total more than three.

You had a friend kick you in the 'nads?

Phil wrote: "You had a friend kick you in the 'nads?"

Nope. Got snipped by a Pakistani urologist, who tried to talk me out of it.

I told him, "Cut me, Mick. I'm 43. The end."

Okay, LG, before lunch, but spoilered for the squeamish:

(view spoiler)[In 2003, I had about six weeks of severe pain until it got so bad I went to the ER on a Tuesday afternoon. They admitted me at 5, did an ultrasound on my belly and at 7:30 a.m. on Wednesday a doctor I'd never met before excised my right ovary and an endometrial cyst about the size of a grapefruit.

In 2007, the same surgeon, now my OB/Gyn, performed a hysterectomy at my request, and told me afterwards that the ovary had grown back. (hide spoiler)]

janine wrote: "I've never had any major medical procedures. I did spend 11 days in a hospital when I was 4 so doctors could look at my brains and determine I was not epileptic, just quiet."

How many brains do you have?

I've only ever had one "major" procedure. When I was 16 months old I had an adverse reaction to the MMR inoculation and had a staph infection in a lymph node below my jaw. I had to have surgery to have it drained and that lymph node still swells up when I get sick.

This is not me, directly but my youngest daughter. It's a good story, though and I'm proud of my baby.

My E. is 20 and in college. Last week she got a tearful call from an old friend in a small town nearby. Long story short, the condom broke and a 17-year-old girl is knocked up. She told her mom, but is fearful of telling dad. My E. agrees to drive M, the girlfriend and the mom of the girlfriend to Planned Parenthood.

E. waited in the lobby for girlfriend to have her abortion with mom and M. Turns out girlfriend has miscarried and needed a D & C, not an abortion.

E. meanwhile sees another old friend from summer camp in the lobby. The girl has been crying and will not meet E.'s gaze.

Girlfriend comes out of procedure sobbing and dives into my E's arms. Boyfriend and mom look on, speechless as E. holds this girl like a baby and rocks her and strokes her hair.

E. said later that as she held this girl for a few minutes, she aged about five years. E. also knows that as horrible as this experience was for her friend, she's awful glad she had the legal option to terminate the pregnancy.

*hugs Cynthia*

What a good friend your daughter is, Cynthia. :)

Good one C and E.

I was so proud, thanks guys.

It's horrifying to hear one of the women in my book group talking about a similar venture accompanying a friend pre-Roe v. Wade. Ghastly. So many women died.

I had a C section for the birth of my daughter. A couple of weeks later the cut site became infected, and I made an appointment to see my obstetrician. The cut was swollen and weeping .
I hopped up on the slab so the doctor could take a look.
He pressed near the cut and made a concerned face. Next thing,he whipped out his scalpel and opened the cut to drain the wound.

What are the last two ?

Sarah Pi wrote: "janine wrote: "I've never had any major medical procedures. I did spend 11 days in a hospital when I was 4 so doctors could look at my brains and determine I was not epileptic, just quiet."

How ma..."

I like saying brains instead of brain, probably because in Dutch hersens is also plural.

We use the plural, "brains," a lot in English as well: to refer to the brain as the seat of intellect, as in the phrases "use your brains" or "she's the brains of the operation;" to describe the (preferably non-human) brain as a culinary delicacy; or in a literal sense when discussing a collection of more than one brain, as in the Abby Normal scene from "Young Frankenstein," where Marty Feldman ends up choosing the wrong specimen.

In the sentence you wrote, the singular, "brain," might be preferable, but in a light, conversational context like this, "brains" works too. It just sounds colloquial and informal (also less clinical).

Jonathan wrote: "In the sentence you wrote, the singular, "brain," might be preferable, but in a light, conversational context like this, "brains" works too. It just sounds colloquial and informal (also less clinical). ."

Yeah, there was nothing wrong with your usage, janine. I was just having some fun.

Fun is good.

janine wrote: "Fun is good."

Funs is better. :D

Cat *chilling with the Doctor* wrote: "Lobstergirl wrote: "This thread only has 8 views, and Jim's grocery thread has 37??

ANGRY !!!!

VIEW THE THREAD!!! People, get in here and describe your abortions."

I had an abortion when I was ..."


Cat wins. (I love you Catherine, you are a tough cookie).

Cynthia wrote: "This is not me, directly but my youngest daughter. It's a good story, though and I'm proud of my baby.

My E. is 20 and in college. Last week she got a tearful call from an old friend in a small to..."

I wish I had more friends like your daughter, Cynthia. She sounds amazing. I only know of two people in my life that would have helped me through something like that.

Cat *chilling with the Doctor* wrote: "evie wrote: "What are the last two ?"

I had facial reconstruction of my nose (it was broken many times from fighting, punks used to get in fights in the early 80's, my era..Clark probably had to d..."

My nose has been broken three times (hockey game, car accident, and drunken shenanigans I'm too embarrassed to discuss) and believe me it shows, but never in a bar fight. That's one thing I've always made a point to avoid. You want to step outside? Fine, but I've seen too much horrendous shit go down in bar fights that I wish I could purge from my memory.

Us old-school punks were a pretty passive bunch. Those early 80's hard-core punks? Not so much...

Thanks Amber. My worry for her is she is always the giver. I am concerned that some of her friends will beg off when it's their turn to support my girl. But she is starting to see this, and is better at saying when she's feeling used.

Lobstergirl wrote: "This thread only has 8 views, and Jim's grocery thread has 37??

ANGRY !!!!

VIEW THE THREAD!!! People, get in here and describe your abortions."


Oh LG, that made me cringe...

Be patient with the members of TC, please ma'am. Remember, not everyone is like me and Smetchie (abnormally fascinated with gross stuff). I'm guessing most people have avoided this thread altogether for fear there will be gross or graphic pictures posted. And oftentimes, procedures can be very traumatic - so responding to a question like this one can stir up graphic memories of both physical and emotional pain, even the procedures that are cosmetic.

Additionally, some people would rather talk about the mundane, everyday, boring things to disclosing something personal (referring to your thread title, not your request for abortion stories - I'd consider that to be EXTREMELY personal).

I feel the need to add the disclaimer to anyone visiting this thread that if you feel like sharing a personal experience with this, you may... and other TC group members will likely respond w/ empathy. You don't have to feel obliged to do so, however.

Cat, that was a brave & very personal post, ma'am. All my best to you...

Also, I'm proud of you guys, all of you, for your supportive posts in response to each other. Well done.

Now, with that said, I had a tonsillectomy at 5ish.

I've had 11 sets of tubes in my left ear, 9 in my right ear.

I had all 4 wisdom teeth pulled at the same time.

And I've had a colonoscopy. Stina, I had a colonoscopy that seemed to be without anesthetic, but I haven't had a colonoscopy experience before or since then with which to compare.

All, I know is that when the camera moved, I squirmed.

I call "Bullsh*t."

Hmmph!

"You might experience a bit of pressure" How 'bout A LOT of pressure and extreme discomfort?!!

Heidi wrote: "Now, with that said, I had a tonsillectomy at 5ish.

I've had 11 sets of tubes in my left ear, 9 in my right ear.

I had all 4 wisdom teeth pulled at the same time.

And I've had a colonoscopy. St..."


The first time Mr evie had a colonoscopy, he said he could feel it.
Apparently the nurses were discussing the sale items they
purchased at Target. :giggles: The second time he had the procedure he mentioned he may need extra anesthetic.

A " bit of discomfort" or "slight pressure" in doctor/dentist lingo means pain.

My doctor and her nurse were comparing the different smells of wet dogs... very bizarre conversation during a colonoscopy, IMO.

Cat *chilling with the Doctor* wrote: "evie wrote: "What are the last two ?"

I had facial reconstruction of my nose (it was broken many times from fighting, punks used to get in fights in the early 80's, my era..Clark probably had to d..."

:hugs:

Heidi wrote: "My doctor and her nurse were discussing a comparison of the smells of wet dogs... very bizarre conversation during a colonoscopy, IMO."

:)

Lg, if a pod person has taken your place, blink once for yes.

You said this:

"This thread only has 8 views, and Jim's grocery thread has 37??

"ANGRY !!!!

"VIEW THE THREAD!!! People, get in here and describe your abortions."

Maybe sharing your experiences - not shouting - would encourage others to post.

One woman I dated long ago told me about the abortion she had undergone when she was 17 (she was 23 when we spoke). It had been a difficult choice for her, but she knew it was the right one. When we broke up, she went back to dating the guy who had got her pregnant. I think she may eventually have married him.

Scout wrote: "Lg, if a pod person has taken your place, blink once for yes.

You said this:

"This thread only has 8 views, and Jim's grocery thread has 37??

"ANGRY !!!!

"VIEW THE THREAD!!! People, get in he..."

Am I the only one who didn't think that LG was serious? I laughed when I read her post.