Terminalcoffee discussion

Girl Calls 911 on Self

She told them her life was "spinning out of control" because she'd spent the majority of the past two weeks drinking alcohol.

I have two thoughts on this:

What else is there to do in Bismark?
and
Welcome to the adult holidays!

But both make me a little sad and ashamed.

Reaching out for help for sure. Very sad -- but hopefully a turning point for her.

Good for her for doing what needed to be done. A very good step indeed.

Apparently Fargo is a great city, growing, etc. Bismark...never been there.

I want to go to North Dakota, though. I love isolated places. I read Klosterman's Downtown Owl not long ago and wanted to go even more. I hear some of the grasslands are pretty, too, although maybe I'm easily impressed.

Oh God, RA. Don't go to North Dakota. That is where bad shopping malls go to die. Bad fashion, bad stores, bad food bad weather.

It's really that bad? But they're selling me, Sally!

:)

http://www.ndtourism.com/

My old (as in former), insane landlady got drunk one night--well, she got drunk every night but this one night she got so drunk she called the cops on herself b/c, she said, she was a danger to herself or others. She was dangerous, alright. Dangerously irritating.

I give the girl credit for doing that. Can't be easy.

ha

::chuckles imperceptibly::

Is that in the vein of "so funny I forgot to laugh"?

No.

A Minnesota state trooper pulls over a little old lady and discovers that she has a conceal and carry permit. She keeps pulling out firearms from various places in the car. He asks her what she's so afraid of. She says, "Not a f--king thing!"

It's actually very funny.

I like that lady.

Funny story, Lg.

I can't read Sally's original link but this reminds me of a film at Sundance called "Smashed." It looks terribly sad--a married couple trying to drink themselves to death.

The thing that was shocking to me was the female character, who drank so much that she would Lose Control of her BOWELS. Good God.

I read that as BOWLES, because of the juxtaposition to Sally. Sally Bowles, the character created by Christopher Isherwood who became the character in Cabaret.

I'm not a heavy drinker, so if I lose control of my BOWELS it will be because of chorizo sausage, or rage.

We had a bartender who called in once to say he was going to be late because he had woken on the couch and needed to clean himself off because of the abovementioned issue.
I personally say that if that is an issue, you are an alcoholic.

Lobstergirl wrote: "I'm not a heavy drinker, so if I lose control of my BOWELS it will be because of chorizo sausage, or rage. "

Not that they are mutually exclusive.

Or being executed.

If I ever go to the gallows, I will fast for a couple days beforehand...

Sarah Pi wrote: "We had a bartender who called in once to say he was going to be late because he had woken on the couch and needed to clean himself off because of the abovementioned issue.
I personally say that if ..."

I can honestly say that as drunk as I've been on occasion, I've never browned my shorts.

I mean c'mon... Have a little dignity!

Thanks Clark for ruining the verb "to brown" for me.

Lobstergirl wrote: "Thanks Clark for ruining the verb "to brown" for me."

I'm here for you, LG.

Browning my shorts -- If this EVER happens to me, someone please call the Betty Ford Clinic and tell them to save me a room.

::sets speed dials::

Thanks LG.

Seems like the adult diaper industry could capture a niche market among alcoholics.

But who would be the one to change their diapers, Amber?

Cynthia wrote: "But who would be the one to change their diapers, Amber?"

Depends.

A HAHAHA! Hee.

::feels guilty laughing at diaper wearers::

Poop. Yes. This story makes me angry!

Crappy Teacher Tells Kindergartner Who Pooped Her Pants To Sit On It

http://gawker.com/5903087/crappy-teac...

The girl was going to sit for a test. (In KINDERGARTEN?? The news report says that these tests don't begin until 3rd grade, but the teacher wanted her KINDERGARTEN class to get a feel for it.) The teacher told her to go to the bathroom before the test. But the girl couldn't poop on demand, and when she did need to poop, it was in the middle of the test. She asked to go to the bathroom and the teacher said no. She crapped her pants. The teacher made her sit in her poo for the remaining 15 minutes of the test, then her mother was called to come get her.

Lobstergirl wrote: "Poop. Yes. This story makes me angry!

Crappy Teacher Tells Kindergartner Who Pooped Her Pants To Sit On It

http://gawker.com/5903087/crappy-teac......"

What a bitch. And they wonder why bullying is a problem in our country when teachers can bully students just as much as their peers.

The teacher gave her a garbage bag to wrap around her until her mother got there. It was very messy.

Do you think any kid in that class is ever going to forget about this? Not to mention the girl, who is going to have nightmares about it for years.

In fairness to the teacher, there's only one side to the story in that article. It's also possible the kid was sent to the school with diarrhea, and the bag was for her dirty clothes. I find it hard to believe a kindergarten teacher would act like that.

Well, I watched the TV news clip and the reporter said they weren't allowed inside the school. So the school didn't want the teacher speaking on camera, and my guess is the teacher would have declined to as he/she would have become an object of hatred. The TV clip does present the school's side in that at least one school official was quoted.

Even if the kid was "sent to school with diarrhea," that's all the more reason to let the kid go to the bathroom when the kid asks to. Holy moly.

I know I teach high school and not kindergarten but I rarely let kids go to the bathroom when they ask. I'm sure the teacher in this case wasn't intentionally trying to humiliate the child, but simply teach her some self-discipline.


Granted, she failed. But still.

I hear you, but it's not like high school kids can't get diarrhea too. Sometimes when you gotta go, you really gotta go. The rectum doesn't always respond to self-discipline.

TW . . . oh never mind.

Yeah, but the little fucker should just go during passing period or not ask me in such an obnoxious manner while I'm trying to explain an assignment or we're reading aloud.

One summer during high school I worked maintenance at a local public pool, a job which entailed testing the chlorine and pH levels, making sure the pumps and filters were functioning properly, and a lot of sleeping and girl watching.

Unfortunately, someone kept dumping in the urinals in the men's shower room - someone we quickly dubbed The Mad Crapper. We'd draw cards to see who had to blast it out with a high-powered hose. Whenever some ill-mannered brat did a number in the baby pool, we also drew cards to see who had to fish it out with a long-handled net - a practice we called pearl diving. Then we drained the thing and started over from scratch.

That is all.

A girl named Julie wet her pants in first grade. We were lined up to come back into the classroom after recess and as we came into the room she lost control.

I threw up in kindergarten during story time because my teacher didn't believe I felt sick. After the deed, when she came over to see my pile of sick on the brightly patterned carpet all she clucked was "what a mess." I was horrified.

Sally wrote: "I threw up in kindergarten during story time because my teacher didn't believe I felt sick. After the deed, when she came over to see my pile of sick on the brightly patterned carpet all she clucked was "what a mess." I was horrified. "

I can't top that.

Clark wrote: "I can't top that. "

Don't you have at least one story about a middle school teacher calling on you to write something on the board, but you didn't want to because you were sporting a massive woody?

Was PhilClark hot for teacher?

My story is about someone else.

There was a girl in my fourth grade class who never really fit in with any group. She had a crush on me that was very obvious. One day she peed herself in class.

A year later her family moved away. When they returned six years later, they bought a house on our street. The girl had completely outgrown her awkwardness and dorkiness and was absolutely stunning. If only I had known all those years earlier!

If only.

I'm grateful I never pooped myself at school because I had very high levels of shame. I probably would have killed myself (literally) if that teacher had done to me what happened to that little girl.

My son did it this school year in pre K, but he didn't have diarrhea. Both my son and daughter (Kindergarten) are required to have a change of clothes at school. They had him change his clothes and put his dirty clothes in a plastic bag. The teachers didn't let any of the other kids know, and he's forgotten about it.

My third grade teacher inspected my sewing sample then called for the class to stop work and pay attention. She held up my sewing as an example of a terrible job. She was angry. I was ashamed and humiliated.

We had a librarian called Mrs Young. She wore lace up shoes and had a hip flask in her storeroom. We were all terrified of her. At the beginning of every library session all evil children who had forgotten their library book had to stand up and state their case . I had left my book in my school bag outside the classroom.
"Where's your library book" said Mrs Young. Trembling, and petrified I replied "It's in my young Mrs Bag."
Fear made me screw up but I was a hit with the other kids.