THE Group for Authors! discussion

Ruminating through my list of readers who have added one of my books onto their "to-read" shelf, I was struck by the ambitions many of them held. Their shelves were sagging beneath the weight of 1,000 or more books they have promised themselves they would read.

(Yes, I know what "ruminating" means. Don't stand behind me.)

In my experience, a good speed-reader can flush down a novel in about two hours. My own circle of friends, slowed down by the need to point at each word and sound out the big ones, gnaw at a book for a week or more. So let's say a book can be read in three days.

I'm delighted to report one of my books shares a shelf with 25,696 other unread works. What I would like to know is exactly when will this reader get around to posting a review.

Reading non-stop, the owner of this library could expect to finish in about 211 years. OK, I'll concede she's exceptional. She listed 25,724 books as having already been read, so she must be a speed reader.

Let's give her, oh...two books a day and no toilet breaks. She can get the task done in about 35 years. Taking into consideration the years she wasted on potty training, kindergarten, and a fourth grade education, I'd guess her to be about 45 years old.

So her life is half over. How sad, in a doomed, lonely, Rod Serling-esque way.

The lesson to be learned here? You have GOT to be kidding!

Book hoarders, the bane of every author seeking reviews.

25,000 books is not "Book Hoarding". It's "Bookstore-ing". It's Numerology. It's a metric of self-esteem, the true portrayal of which is best left to Quentin Tarantino. My God, just think of manual labor (pun intentional) that went into finding and entering each and every single book and story into the GoodReads database. Funnier still, try to visualize what life was like in that household the day GoodReads notified everyone about their database crash!

Between life, getting an education, and writing my own stuff; I can only read about 80 books a year. I don't know how this person could complete so much. I tremble at the thought of reading all my books on my to-read shelf. I know that I'll mostly never read half of them before a new book I want to read pops up about every month. It's damning. Do you think you can read books in heaven?

Gee, Hannah, you sound so depressed. Have you ever tried subliminal suggestion? It can make you happier skoobymyub in the time it takes to read this sentence. I agree with you, though. There's not enough time in the day to skoobymyub read everything I'd like without giving up something else important, like bathing.

oh, well. trudge on.

Plus speed reading is more like skimming.

People use the shelves differently. For me, to-read is anything I'm even remotely considering reading. For some people, to-read only contains books they have on hand with imminent plans to read. Goodreads doesn't make any attempt to encourage one way of looking at things over the other.

But you still haven't answered my question, Jon. Is there reading in heaven? If so, I might be wasting my time here at earth wallowing in fantasy lands to escape my present reality...I enjoy escaping reality.
I agree with you, Rebecca. The to-read shelfs mean different things to different people. I just wish that my books would go from to-read to read by the time I pass on to heaven to read all the books that I never got a chance to read.

I think for most readers, book reading speed is contingent on the amount of ADD present.

No ADD present: book completion takes approximately 6 hours

Some ADD present: book completion takes approximately 6 days to 6 weeks

The Haus of ADD: book completion never takes place

Hannah wrote: "But you still haven't answered my question, Jon. Is there reading in heaven?"

Yes, Hannah. There is reading in heaven. Hope you like Aramaic.

I do. Such pretty writing.

25 000 books - that's a lot of IKEA shelving unless you've got a kindle with a gazillion GB. Whew!

Jon wrote: "Ruminating through my list of readers who have added one of my books onto their "to-read" shelf, I was struck by the ambitions many of them held. Their shelves were sagging beneath the weight of 1..."

Fascinating, Jon. I ask myself these same questions every time this particular phenomenon appears while browsing GR groups, friends, etc. I've even seen it written (not saying where, so don't ask) that the true measure of an authentic, committed (in many ways, no doubt) and, dare I say, proven reader is the existance of a larger-than-life TBR list, one that grows faster than chia sprouts in a rain forest. Yes, I'm scratching my head on this one, too.

well...look...I am a relatively slow reader(at least that is what I consider myself).. I think it all depends on the book! if the book really keeps me enthralled, then I tend to get through it much more quickly. I always have several books going at one time..to give myself a choice(depending on my mood), but I can't fathom speed reading...

my to read list has grown geometrically & exponetially since I joined GR...and I can only hope that I will get through it...except for one MAJOR problem! I keep finding new books...and adding them!

I think it's a religious thing. There are only two ways to get all those books on the "to-read" list;

1. Enter them by hand, one at a time.
2. Embed SQL code in a form element to exploit a firewall weakness.

Number 2 requires a good knowledge of programming, and as we all know, computer programmers are godless heathens (so religion is out). That leaves Number 1, an ideal task for practitioners of the Chunn-Tongra belief system that requires acolytes to complete a difficult and meaningless task (known as a 'quest') in order to find favor in the eyes of their forest god, Ch'a. Once almost extinct, followers of Ch'a were finally recognized by the mainly Catholic government of Brazil, which decreed the remaining Chunn-Tongra village deep in the Amazon rain forest to be "pessoas afagados do Ch'a". To commemorate the recognition of this newfound settlement, the Parliament issued a license for the construction of a new Walmart on the site.

Anyway, that's what was going through my mind.



Jon Etheredge

The horde of supplicants parading before me whilst casting rose petals to ease my step will tell you that it can't be done in 140 characters

Your horde of supplicants, are they anything like the ones from Coming to America? Are you really James Earl Jones in disguise?

Is that the voice you hear when you read me? James Earl Jones? Really? (to the mirror: "Luke! Search your feelings!") No, sorry. Paul Reubens. (to the mirror: "Ha!")

Wow. It didn't take much to get me off topic.

Jon wrote: "Is that the voice you hear when you read me? James Earl Jones? Really? (to the mirror: "Luke! Search your feelings!") No, sorry. Paul Reubens. (to the mirror: "Ha!")

Wow. It didn't take m..."

Try to stay focused there, Pee Wee.

That's not what I see in the mirror. Conan, only more buff.

Hey, Maribel. I am glad you joined The Author's Club. I do not believe I will ever reach 1,000 books read. Here is to hoping.