Q&A with Becky Wade discussion

Do you have any questions for me about My Stubborn Heart? Ask away.

I will probably be back a few times as I think of more...but right now just wondering why Hockey for Matt? Are you a huge hockey fan - or is the person who inspired Matt a hockey player?

Can you tell my favorite character is Matt - Why did he respond to Gram and Kate and all their crazy friends. His family must have tried to get him to open up, maybe even friends - why was it them who finally go thru to him?

Kame wrote: "why Hockey for Matt? Are you a huge hockey fan - or is the person who inspired Matt a hockey player?"

You know, it's aways interesting for me to try to think waaaaay back and remember the initial reasoning for a characterization choice I made. I'm not a hockey fan nor was there a hockey player who inspired Matt's character. :)

Here's how I decided on Matt's career:
*The very first idea I had, the one that I built the ENTIRE book on, was the idea of a hero whose wife had died and left him broken hearted. Several years later (when my book would begin) I envisioned Matt as a recluse. In order for him to have a reason to be a true recluse -- in hiding -- I wanted him to have been famous at one time.

*Matt could have been famous for a lot of reasons, but I'm writing fiction and in my fictional world anything's possible. I like to GO BIG. In all my upcoming books, you'll see that either my hero or heroine will be larger than life. So. Since pro athletes are (to me) hottie patotties, I chose to make Matt famous for a sport.

*Now came the choice of which sport. I chose hockey because the men who play it are so incredibly tough. I wanted to juxtapose Matt's outer physical toughness against his inner broken-ness and vulnerability. To me, the contrast was gripping.

Kame wrote: "Why did he respond to Gram and Kate and all their crazy friends. His family must have tried to get him to open up, maybe even friends - why was it them..."

The simple answer? LOL! Can you already tell that nothing about writing novels is simple? :) ...At least not in this head of mine.

The simple answer is that Kate and Gran got through to Matt because God ordained it that way. During the first few years after Beth's death Matt was too devastated to begin recovery... he was frozen in a numb state of grief that well-meaning friends and family couldn't penetrate.

Then Kate came. And God used everything about her --the Holy Spirit within her, her persistence, humor, spunk -- to crush Matt's defenses. God had created her from the beginning to be Matt's soul mate and because of that, poor Matt didn't stand a chance at resisting her.

Is the house in the book modeled off of a house you've seen or been too? Or just from research of houses built in that time period?

I think that is why I really liked Matt so much - the juxtaposition of this sensitive loving guy. Honestly after your description Matt reminds me of Mike Fisher - Carrie Underwood's husband - saw an interview on YouTube they did with Oprah - no he didn't lose a wife before he met Carrie - but he is very spiritual, seems sensitive and a very good hockey player.

Elle wrote: "Is the house in the book modeled off of a house you've seen or been too? Or just from research of houses built in that time period?"

Chapel Bluff, the house in the book, was modeled off of a place I've actually seen and been to! A B&B in Lambertville, NJ called Chimney Hill Inn.

Here's a link so you can peek at the old home I was imagining when I was writing:
http://www.chimneyhillinn.com/

My sisters and I stayed there once on a sister's trip. Chimney Hill Inn, the town, and the surrounding countryside all completely charmed me and eventually inspired My Stubborn Heart's setting.

Imagine we're a book club! I'm going to pull out some of the discussion questions at the back of My Stubborn Heart and ask them of you lovely ladies.

Topic 1:
I once heard the extremely talented author Maggie Osbourne speak at a writer's conference. She said that during the course of her work on a novel she'd always asked herself, 'WHAT IS THIS BOOK ABOUT?' until she had a grip on the answer. She never wanted a long answer. She wanted a 1-4 word answer.

That struck me and remained with me. SO. In my own head, I always try to boil the theme of my books down to just a few words. With My Stubborn Heart, I whittled the theme down to just one. For me, this one word describes what the book is really about. Care to guess what that word is?

Healing?

Kame wrote: "Healing?"

YES! Wow, you nailed it in one guess. Have you considered competing on Jeopardy? ;)

Topic 2:
I used a few different metaphors in My Stubborn Heart to represent the changing state of Matt's character. Did any of you pick up on them? What do you think they might be?

Yeah - I got #1,a sign of a great book is one that stays with you and you get message.

I don't have a copy of the book with me so I will have to think about Topic #2 more.

Becky wrote: "Elle wrote: "Is the house in the book modeled off of a house you've seen or been too? Or just from research of houses built in that time period?"

Chapel Bluff, the house in the book, was modeled o..."

What a cool house!

Becky wrote: "Topic 2:
I used a few different metaphors in My Stubborn Heart to represent the changing state of Matt's character. Did any of you pick up on them? What do you think they might be?"

I suppose the renovation of the house could represent the changes in Matt's heart. Especially interesting since he was the primary one working on the house. And God (with help from Kate, her grandmother, and the seniors) is working on Matt.

That is great - yes the house and Matt's life!

Topic #2: Yes, Brooke and Kame, you're both 100% right. Ding ding ding! The renovation of the house was the largest metaphor for the internal changes going on within Matt.

But there are other metaphors in there (that may require some brain-racking to remember....) :)

Topic #3:
Many readers have told me that they found My Stubborn Heart difficult to predict. Did you feel the same? If so, which twists and turns surprised you?

Difficult to predict - hmm I don't know if I will say that - I think Matt going back to hockey was a surprise - but he needed it.

Anyone else have anymore metaphors...

I thought Morty's transformation mirrored Matt's as well.

Wow - I was trying to think of something with the friends and Matt.

Anne wrote: "I thought Morty's transformation mirrored Matt's as well."

Ooh, Anne is so smart. Can you tell she's an author? ;)

Becky wrote: "Do you have any questions for me about My Stubborn Heart? Ask away."

So one of the things I liked most about this book was the way you discribed Kate and her singless I mean obviously the girl has to be single to meet the guy, but you seemed to get it right when it came to things like how she spent her holidays, dealing with other people asking the "marriage" question, and her spritual struggles. What was your inspiration for Kate's character?

Sunflowerusa wrote: 'So one of the things I liked most about this book was the way you described Kate and her singleness"

Thank you! My inspiration for Kate's character came to me via my single Christian girlfriends. I've known several beautiful, wonderful women who had a desire to find love, but just simply didn't meet "the one" until they were in their thirties or forties.

We authors need to be able to sink into the skin of all of our characters, to become them, to talk/think/move/feel like they do. With some characters this is really challenging for me. With Kate it was as easy as pie! I was able to put myself into the heart and shoes of a 31 year old Christian single girl without any trouble at all.... Perhaps because I had a sense of how nearly *I* could have been in Kate's situation, had that been God's will for me.

Topic #2:
Other metaphors I used for the healing of Matt's character:
*His baseball hats. Remember at the beginning, how he always wore hats pulled down low, shading his face? As the story progressed the hats appeared less and less often until - by the end - they'd vanished.
*His fast car. Driving his car at high speeds, as if racing from something, was a picture of what he was was trying to do internally (race away from his emotions and his love for Kate).
*The cooking lessons. His growing proficiency with cooking was another outward symbol of Matt moving from inability to ability, which also mirrored the journey he was taking emotionally.

Topic #4:
Let's consider the humor in the book. Where did it come from? Did any one element of My Stubborn Heart strike you as particularly funny?

Grandma's friends were hilarious!

Becky wrote: "Topic #4:
Let's consider the humor in the book. Where did it come from? Did any one element of My Stubborn Heart strike you as particularly funny?"in

Funny things in the book: Kate undoing Morty's hair dye, Kate's thoughts about how to respond to Velma's question about why she's not married, i.e. "I'm holding out for Prince Harry" or "Shark attack killed the last prospect." (LOL), Teresa's "celebrity crush" on Matt.

Kame wrote: "Grandma's friends were hilarious!"

Smiling! I'm glad you thought so. Yes - the seniors were a major source of the humor in My Stubborn Heart. I thoroughly enjoy tossing zany secondary characters into a book and letting my hero and heroine be the 'normal people' trying to make sense of the nuttiness around them.

Rebecca wrote: "Funny things in the book: Kate..."

Rebecca, you're exactly right. You've hit on what is (in my opinion) the other main source of humor in the book: Kate's point of view. Kate's thoughts, her way of looking at the world, her way of reacting to the people around her all gave me chances to display her wry personality.

Topic #5:
Do you know anyone who's experienced the loss of their spouse? Did they remain alone? Or did they move on a find a new relationship (like Matt eventually did)?

Becky wrote: "Topic #5:
Do you know anyone who's experienced the loss of their spouse? Did they remain alone? Or did they move on a find a new relationship (like Matt eventually did)?"

I knew a misionary to Haiti and his wife (in their late thirties) and their five children. He was killed in a motorcycle accident there. Here is the story: http://www.opc.org/cfm/MattBaugh.html The church sent support so she could continue to be at home with her children. She did eventually remarry, a man who had never been married, but was willing to take on the responsibility of being a father as well as a husband. God is good!

Rebecca wrote: "She did eventually remarry, a man who had never been married, but was willing to take on the responsibility of being a father as well as a husband. God is good! "

Amen! After My Stubborn Heart's release, a sorority sister of mine contacted me. She lost her husband to brain cancer (just as Matt lost his first wife in the book). She talked to me about the journey afterward and how so many of the things Matt experienced were things she experienced, too. She had a daughter with her first husband. Years later, she remarried and had triplets! Two boys and another girl. It was such a inspirational story of God's faithfulness, of the beauty of His plan for each one of us.

Susan wrote: "Baseball caps, yep ... so subtle. I remember while reading through MSH how the position of the ball cap often reflected Matt's mood.

Cooking lessons? Huh. I completely missed that one. :-)

Well, I don't like to be TOO obvious! I'm pleased that I snuck in a few tricky ones. I guess that's part of the charm of metaphors. Some of them ought to be so subtle that you don't consciously notice them... the various threads should weave together and simply leave the reader with the overall impression of healing and restoration. :)

This Q&A group is drawing to a close, so I wanted to sneak in one final question.

Topic #6: What scene from My Stubborn Heart sticks out in your memory the most? Why?

For me the storage unit clean out spoke to me and motivated me to do something I was putting off since my Dad's death.

Also his return to hockey - it gave me such joy to see him succeed.

And since I just downloaded the book for free and I don't have to borrow it from the library to reread I am so excited I might start it again after I wake up in the AM!

Susan wrote: (1) Matt, in the chapel dealing honestly with God about his anger over the loss of his wife.

Wow, it's *so much* fun for me to hear which scenes have lived on in your memory!

A few other readers have told me that the scene of Matt in the chapel really impacted them. You're absolutely right about that moment (and the other moments you mentioned) representing crucial turning points in Matt's journey.

Here's the thing. I'm a love story girl. I adore the scenes that are full of romantic emotion. To my surprise, though, it's the scenes like the chapel scene, scenes in which GOD MOVES in the hearts and lives of the characters, that give me goosebumps. Imo, the chapel scene has power because God's grace has power.

Susan Wrote: (2) The time Matt spent cleaning out the storage unit.

"No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader" is a saying I once heard. During the writing of that scene this writer definitely had tears in her eyes. I could feel Matt's grief so acutely.

Kame wrote: "his return to hockey - it gave me such joy to see him succeed. "

Yes! It gave me a great deal of joy to see Matt succeed, too. God extended a second chance to him. Actually, three second chances. A second chance at hockey, the sport he was so brilliantly good at. A second chance at love. And a second chance at a relationship with Him.

That's just like God, isn't it?

For me, to see Matt fulfill his potential was like the cherry on top of the sundae.

Three huh - was that on purpose?
When I downloaded my free copy (yeah me!) I reread the last chapter and Epilogue...I still got big feeling of joy.

Kame wrote: "Three huh - was that on purpose?

Yep! And the last chapter and epilogue still give me a big feeling of joy, too. :)

THANK YOU everyone for participating in my Q&A over the past two weeks! I've truly enjoyed asking questions, reading your insights, and answering the questions you posed to me. It's been fun to connect with each of you wonderful ladies.

I appreciate you!