The Humour Club discussion

Seen any interesting critters lately?

(City dwellers - feel free to discuss any sightings of skateboarders lacking in purple mohawks and piercings. THAT would be an unusual thing to see!)

A pair of red-tailed hawks have been hanging around my backyard, picking off the occasional visitor to my birdfeeders. (They seem to have a taste for mourning doves. I wish they'd nab some of the squirrels.)

This is not going over too well with the family of crows living in the one pine tree. There are exciting skirmishes daily.

The one thing I can't figure out is why the hawks are so noisy. Whether they're perched on a branch or soaring, they're almost constantly squealing. Wouldn't a "stealth" approach work better than announcing, "Yoo-hoo! Hide your daughters! Hawk here!"

the squealing is probably partly about communicating location to the other half of the pair, and partly it may cause small critters to panic, and so make them easier to spot. That second one is conjecture, but pair bonded birds do an awful lot of making sure they know where the other is. Tawny owls for example, are the only owls that actually go "to wit to woo", but its actually one individual that says "to wit", which is a contact call, and the male answering the female (or a rival male) who calls "to woo" (the males territorial call), so when you hear it, you're actually hearing two owls... actually the exact sounds are ke-wick and hoo-hoo-ooo.

The most interesting thing I get in my garden is lots of dunnocks and the occasional blackbird. I saw an urban fox a few weeks ago. And I can honestly say I haven#'t seen any skateboarders with purple mohawks, they mostly have normal hair (albeit with those shitty cover the face haircuts the kids sport these days)

It is actually for communication as you say Hazel although I bet it does cause some panic amongst the critters as a happy bonus.

I was out bat surveying last night so heard and saw Common Pipistrelle bats and a small group of random youths crossing open countryside at 10.30 at night (wonder what no good they were up to). Out again tonight so lord knows what I'll see then.

Did one bat survey last month and was stalked by a fox, think it was a Vixen with cubs judging by the noise.

I had a run in with a racoon a month ago.
I heard some noise outside. Assuming it was some punk trying to steal my garbage can I ran out in my pants (underpants they say in the UK) without any shoes to find a racoon pulling over my garbage.
I tried to 'shoo' it away, but, it ignored me.
I had to run inside get some pant, aka trousers, and shoes on. Go back out and throw something at it.
In this case, a plastic kids shovel. Unfortunately, I missed and hit the garbage can...but, I've been practising every night since. So, when that little thief comes back I'll be ready with my little plastic shovel!

Go ahead and throw it! I'm sure the raccoon will find many uses for that little plastic shovel. They're quite handy with tools, you know.

And if it WAS someone trying to steal your garbage can, what did you hope to accomplish by running outside in your underwear (as we say in the US)???

Not wildlife related, but I have just been reminded of the story a friend of mine told me where he was woken up by a noise, only to find that someone had broken into his flat, so bollock naked he grabbed an ornamental spear he owned, and gave chase, getting half way down the street before realising he should go put some clothes on.

Hazel wrote: "Not wildlife related, but I have just been reminded of the story a friend of mine told me where he was woken up by a noise, only to find that someone had broken into his flat, so bollock naked he g..."

I would've just carried on regardless!!! Although it was probably his nakedness and not the spear that had the thief running ;-)

We came to that conclusion at the time. This friend of mine is pushing 6ft, and has a physique made by wearing heavy armour... and add to that his long hair, and a spear, the nakedness really is the cherry on the cake.

Yet if the cops had shown up, HE would have been the one arrested.

Great story, Hazel!

We spent a week in the genuine wilderness, and the only critters we saw were deer, pikas, and mosquitoes. Oh, and one marmot. Birds, almost none of which we can identify.

OTOH, when we finished hiking we drove through the Tetons and saw moose, elk, and pronghorns. From the road. Sometimes nature is definitely thumbing its nose at us.

I went all the way to Yosemite, and the biggest critter I saw was a morose looking coyote skulking next tot he road while the bus I was in drove past.

I went out to dump the compost in the bin, and almost tossed our eggshells and potato peels on the head of a possum who was sleeping there.
Later in the day, I went out to check if he was still there, and he was - snacking on the stuff I threw out earlier.

You know Melki, I've never seen a possum...even flattened on the interstate when we drive to Florida.

My kids found a worm the other day, surprising me since the ground is frozen.

My kids love worms. Worms are dug up often, given nice 'homes' of grass, and fed rotten tomatoes. Worm Paradise?

Sorry if I'm repeating myself (like the old lady I'm turning into), but I can't remember if I've told this story before...my mother used to have a pet possum. She found it when it was about 3-4 inches long and fed it, and it grew and grew and grew. It resided in our bathroom. You can't say you've lived until you've used the toilet with an overweight possum sleeping beside you.

It's the only furry animal I don't consider "cute."

There's a rabbit hanging around our yard. According to noted wildlife expert Richard Scarry in his definitive book on the subject, I Am a Bunny, they're supposed to be hibernating in their cute little burrows, so what gives?

Global warming...or this bunny is genetically modified and has escaped from some cruel lab somewhere...or, don't you live somewhat near three mile island? Could residual radiation play a role here?

I'm nowhere near Three-Mile Island, though there is a suspicious adult-diaper manufacturing plant not far from here.

I vote for global warming. I saw a hawk a couple of days ago. Otherwise, I'm pretty much stuck in the "wow, a skateboarder with a helmet" school of rereading critter sightings.

Hazel wrote: "I went all the way to Yosemite, and the biggest critter I saw was a morose looking coyote skulking next tot he road while the bus I was in drove past."

Hey, Hazel, where do you live? I'm near San Francisco. Sounds like you are in CA anyway.

Hazel lives in the UK. Maybe it's like CA there. The creators of 'M*A*S*H*' had me believing South Korea looked just like California.

Se said something about taking a bus to Yosemite. Must've been on vacation!

Melki wrote: "There's a rabbit hanging around our yard. According to noted wildlife expert Richard Scarry in his definitive book on the subject, I Am a Bunny, they're supposed to be hibernating in their cute li..."

I hate to disagree with Mr Scarry but rabbits don't actually hibernate, they do become less active in the winter but don't lower their body temperatures or metabolic rates as true hibernators do. So it's not uncommon to see them out and about, especially if their is food around no matter what the temperatures are (obviously they'll try to avoid going out in the cold). You'll probably find that you live relatively close to their burrow as they don't tend to stray far from their homes during the winter hence why you are seeing them so much.

The ice on our pond finally melted and it looks like all the fish somehow survived the winter. And they didn't even eat any of the babies. Now I have a veritable plethora of fish.

You didn't do any ice fishing in the winter?

No, in fact there were two weeks when we couldn't even break a hole in the ice to let the fish breathe.

They must have enjoyed their privacy because I noticed today that we not only have the original four fish and their babies, but brand new baby-babies, each about an inch long.

"Veritable plethora" is a marvelous phrase.

You may use it in your next novel - no charge!

Hmm. I can see that one being used by certain characters in Skunk Corners.

Rebecca wrote: "Se said something about taking a bus to Yosemite. Must've been on vacation!"

yes, indeed, i'm in the UK, sorry I didn't see this earlier. I went on holiday to california in 2000. I was on a bus in Yosemite when I saw the coyote. Same vacation as I discovered that chipmunks seem to really like cheeto popcorn.

In other wildlife news, there is a water vole living round the corner from me, i've seen it a few times now. I know that may not sound amazing, but it is one of the rarest mammals in the UK, and you can't even start a riverside development without a survey to see if there are any there, and its a mahoosive fine if you destroy them or their habitat. This is it:



I also saw a sparrowhawk.

Hey, he's cute!

I believe Sam just finished a book about water voles - http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/...
That makes her our resident expert.

That is incredible Hazel, sadly I live in Cardiff so the only wildlife I get to see is the students on a weekend!!!

Funnily enough it is part of my job to survey for Water Voles and other protected species and was out along a brook the other day looking for them before flood alleviation works could go ahead.

And that I am Melki, that I am :-)

No urban wildlife, Sam? Admittedly we live on the edge of the city (near the point where it is falling into the Pacific), but we have skunks, raccoons, and hawks at the least, right in the neighborhood.

And coyotes in Golden Gate park. Not that I've ever seen one. I have seen a fox when running in the bluffs above the ocean (the part that once held a road and a railroad, before chunks slid into the sea. The problem with being a "new" land is people don't have enough history with the place before they start building. I'm pretty sure if there had been any Native Americans left--or listened to--when they built those things, they could have told them the bluffs are unstable).

Not really, I'm right near the city centre so the most I get is feral pigeon and gulls and the usual mice and rats!! If I was nearer the bay or one of the rivers I'd get a bit more but even the gardens by me are limited nature wise (and I know this as I'm in a third floor flat so can have a nosey into the neighbouring housing estate).

Luckily I get my nature fix through work instead :-)

Hmm, yes, city center is tougher (osprey nests? I think they have them in downtown San Francisco--but that's right by the Bay. I'm guessing hawks where you are, but only if there are enough gardens with mice).

Glad your work takes you out, though! That sounds kind of cool.

Our city hall does have Peregrines that nest there most years, which is only a couple of streets over from the office :-) Ospreys over here are rather rare and only recently been successfully breeding in Wales but hoping it is the start of a good recovery.

It is rather good, I basically get paid to go out and play in the countryside1 The downside is I'm usually surveying areas that are going to be developed in some way but I do get to try and protect as much as I can so it's kind of give and take. There's also the lack of sleep during survey season thanks to bats (speaking of which it's the first bat survey of the year tonight so wont get home before 1.30 never mind to bed!).

There have been peregrines nesting on the rowntrees factory building for years, though I haven't see them in a while, I suspect the local building work going on there will have disturbed them.

Cool, Sam--counting bats! I'd have trouble with the late hours, but still sounds like fun. And sometimes I'm up nearly that late just because I've been at a meeting that was upsetting, which is a heck of a lot less fun than blundering around in the dark counting bats!

It may have done Hazel but I'm sure they'll be back once its all done, you'll be surprised how attached birds get to nest sites!

It is quite fun Rebecca but its the early starts that get me as some surveys are done 2-3 hours beforw sunrise! I hate those ones, they just feel so wrong!

Well, at the right time of year 3 hours before sunrise isn't so bad :D

You'd think that but often they are combined with dusk surveys the night before so we often only get about 2 hours sleep (the worse is 1.5 hours, including travel each way)!!

Now that is cruel and unusual punishment, Sam! Worst I have to do is get a teen up at 6:30.

I'm glad you feel my pain Rebecca, and I'm sure that trying to get a teen up at that time is just as bad!! At least I only have to drag myself out of bed!

I travel more often than I would like. At the end of a recent flight, the flight attendant was doing her "Bye-Bye" gig as we filed off of the aircraft. Shuffling slowly along, I heard her droning in her faux happy voice:
"Bye-Bye!
"Bye now!"
"So long!"
"Have a nice day!"
"Good-Bye!"
"I like Human!"
"Bye-Bye!"

...Wait a minute. I like Human? As opposed to what? Did she mean, in a light chicken gravy? I had stop and hold up the line to get a better look. She looked mostly human. Her eyes narrowed and her lips twisted into a snarl.

I wasn't overly concerned because I get that reaction frequently. Still, it seemed prudent to flee before things got uglier.

I can't prove she was an alien, but I'm pretty certain. Just to be safe, I've started using her phrase at random moments.
"Bubba, do you know how fast you were driving?"
"I like Human!"

I think it will work.

Maybe she was Jamaican and she said, "I like you, mon."

Or maybe flight attendants DO exist TO SERVE MAN. That's where the gravy would come in handy...

Oy. I'm never going to be comfortable flying again.

Oh, wait, I never have been comfortable flying. Not even at 5'5". Those dang sardine cans!

My neighbor just called, at 5:45 am no less, but she knows I'm up, to tell me she had just seen a black bear walking into our yard. I managed to catch sight of him as he was slowly moseying across the back yard. He strolled through our arbor as if it was built just for him. There's often evidence of their nocturnal visits, but it's rare and exciting to catch a long, lingering glimpse of one.