Erudite Readers discussion

CHAPTER ONE
A video call

Alexis isabella rose woke up
And smiled out the window knowing today is her day all about her
She know what the first thing to do was, she needed to call her birth mother before her real mother woke up and called her for her birthday breakfest. But before she did that she hato get dressed so they can maybe video chat,
She got all cleaned up and pretty just to talk to the person how gave her up
She called her mom
As always her mother had on a big hat to block her face witch Alexis hates that she can't see her mother
And before Alexis could say anything her birth mother asked
"how old are you exactly"
"alexis gave a smirk and said 14"
And her mother said then I think it's time to tell you.
Her birth mother had a serious face that was sorta frightening her
And Alexis said
" you can tell me anything mom"
The mom sigh and said………


CHAPTER TWO
The secret I don't wanna know

"now sweetie what I'm about to tell you might be difficult at first but you gotta understand and love me and your other mom anyways" Said her birth mom
"okay"
"it was November 2 2000"
"when you and your sister"
"wait what I dont have a sister"
"Let me finish"
"when you and your sister were 2 years old a women snock into are house at night and stole you your sister was crying in my room so she only toke you and I count here you screaming or crying and I tried to find you but I thought you were dead"
"dont mess with me my mom would never do that"
"oh really then go ask her and you will get your answer"
...............
Alexis slammed the lap top closed and went down satires to see her mom
"her mom said god morning"
And she said back
"mon can you tell me about the time when you adopted me"
"aaa... All I remember is you were 2 years old and your mother was in a tight spot and had no money for you and that's it"
"oh okay well I had a question"
"ya sweetie anything it is your birthday"
"when you adopted me was there by Any chance more of me like a twin sister an older or younger brother"
"a...where are all these question coming from"
"I just wanted to know because someone told me about november 2 2000"
"where did you here about that night"
"from my birth mother you bitch"
"you shall never talk to me like that you brat and I have no idea what happend the night now go to your room"
"NO now please tell me why did you kidnap me and not tell me I had a sister"
"non of your buissness"
"I can get you aressted mom"
Her mom throw a knife trying to hit her the mom had really good aim she hit her right in the stomach and walked away Alexis cal lapsed and count here see or think about anything.
A girl clime in throw the window put her in the trunk of her stolen car and brought her to the hospital when Alexis woke up after they toke the knife out and stopped the bleeding
And looked up
Next to her what she saw was a hoe with a tight skirt huge bobs and mini tube top and high hells but she had her face
"alexis said tiredly how are u
She answered your sister honey
What are you doing here Alexis said
I spend all of are birthday watching over you
Espically the last week because I know my mom would tell you and you mom whould get crazy

Thanks for the advice tue reason it's bad is because I wrote it on my ipod and I have spelling correct and It corrects me wrong

Interesting... As Brandon said, editing is needed! But don't worry, almost every author starts off with bad grammar in the first draft (if it's not the first, I apologise). It comes with the rush to get all your ideas out before you forget them...

Just a message: Save posting your work for when you've worked out the kinks and have gone through a couple of drafts.

Another message: avoid the 3 name thing. I know that it's difficult to not name your character a pile of pretty names, but it's not relevant and people don't always like it (it is a pretty name though...)

JazzyJams wrote: "Interesting... As Brandon said, editing is needed! But don't worry, almost every author starts off with bad grammar in the first draft (if it's not the first, I apologise). It comes with the rush t..."
it is the first i dint have time to edit it
i have 6 more chapters writtin down but i only posted 2 chapters cause i need to edit everything so i only posted 2

(editing in process

Haylie wrote: "(editing in process"

Maybe asking someone else to edit would also be a good idea, since others might catch mistakes that you miss.

Brandon wrote: "But it's also good to edit yourself so you can get used to editing and you won't have to rely on others to do it for you."

Yes, I know that. She can have someone edit after she edits it. Having more than one person edit your work never hurts.

Brandon wrote: "But it's also good to edit yourself so you can get used to editing and you won't have to rely on others to do it for you."

thanks for they advice

Karina wrote: "Brandon wrote: "But it's also good to edit yourself so you can get used to editing and you won't have to rely on others to do it for you."

Yes, I know that. She can have someone edit after she edi..."

thanks for they advice

Karina wrote: "Brandon wrote: "But it's also good to edit yourself so you can get used to editing and you won't have to rely on others to do it for you."

Yes, I know that. She can have someone edit after she edi..."

thanks for they advice

editing almost done