Michael

“Everyone you will ever meet knows something you don't.”
― Bill Nye

“It's unpleasantly like being drunk."
"What's so unpleasant about being drunk?"
"You ask a glass of water.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“Do they always flirt with biblical quotes?" Asil asked Tad.

In long-suffering tones, Tad said, "They can flirt with the periodic table or a restaurant menu. We've learned to live with it. Get a room you guys.”
― Patricia Briggs, Frost Burned

“Punning is a talent which no man affects to despise but he that is without it.”
― Jonathan Swift