Artie Brumer

“Do you want to tell me what happened?” the handsome doctor that was apparently Lucifer’s father asked. Doing her best to appear sweet and innocent, something she’d actually practiced in high school, she looked up, allowed her bottom lip just the slightest of trembles and said, “I forgot the safe word again.” “Oh, my fucking God! Stop saying that!” Lucifer shouted from the hallway”
― R.L. Mathewson, Fire & Brimstone

“It’s in English,” I call out as it comes into focus. “It says ‘Made in China.’” At first Sister Loretta thinks I must be wrong, but when she sees the words for herself, she explains to us that God anticipated that the Communists in China would create technology that makes medals, rosaries, and plastic figurines really cheaply, and He was ready to temporarily forgive them for not being a democracy and for being pagans if they were willing to sell these holy goods to us at a fantastic discount, which shows us that God, like everyone else, goes out of His way to get a good deal on something He really needs. Who doesn’t like a bargain?”
― Kathleen Zamboni McCormick, Dodging Satan: My Irish/Italian, Sometimes Awesome, But Mostly Creepy, Childhood

“Sometimes you have to stand and fight. Sometimes running away isn't an option.”
― Christopher Paolini , The Fork, the Witch, and the Worm: Eragon

“Mildred adjusted the papers and scribbled some more. When she was finished, she took off her glasses, leaving them to swing from the chain around her neck. She gave the women around the table a pointed look. “Now think hard, ladies, can you come up with anything else?”
― Kirsten Fullmer