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“George and Harold were usually responsible kids. Whenever anything bad happened, George and Harold were usually responsible.”
― The Adventures of Captain Underpants
― The Adventures of Captain Underpants
“Twas the night before Thanksgiving,
And the stars up above
Shone down on a school bus
Abounding with love.
The very next evening,
Eight families were blessed
With eight fluffy Thanksgiving turkeys
As guests.
They feasted on veggies
With jelly and toast,
And everyone was thankful
(The turkeys were most!).
So each one gave thanks
For love and for living,
And they all had a wonderful
Happy Thanksgiving.”
― 'Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving
And the stars up above
Shone down on a school bus
Abounding with love.
The very next evening,
Eight families were blessed
With eight fluffy Thanksgiving turkeys
As guests.
They feasted on veggies
With jelly and toast,
And everyone was thankful
(The turkeys were most!).
So each one gave thanks
For love and for living,
And they all had a wonderful
Happy Thanksgiving.”
― 'Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving
“Another piece of Zygo-Gogozizzle 24 ended up landing in a grape vineyard on planet Pinot. The Zygo-Gogozizzle 24 was quickly absorbed into the soil and was subsequently soaked up into the grapes. These grapes, which had until recently been harvested almost to extinction, suddenly became self-aware and super intelligent. They banded together in bunches and rose up to defeat their oppressors. The battle lasted one whole night, but sadly, it ended the next morning when the sun came up. The rebellion shriveled when the poor grapes ran out of juice. Apparently there’s a raisin for everything.”
―
―
“What happened at the end of our last story is something called misdirection. It's what happens when you are led to believe that something is true, but in reality it's not true at all. Misdirection happens a lot in real life- especially in politics, history, education, medicine, marketing, science, religion, and the Oprah Winfrey Network.”
― Captain Underpants and the Revolting Revenge of the Radioactive Robo-Boxers
― Captain Underpants and the Revolting Revenge of the Radioactive Robo-Boxers
“Tonight,” said Mack Nuggett,
“These feathery beasts
Will be chopped up and roasted
For Thanksgiving feasts.”
The children stood still
As tears filled their eyes,
Then they clamored aloud
In a chorus of cries.
“Oh dear,” cried Mack Nuggett,
“Now what shall I do?”
So he dashed to the well,
And the teacher went, too.
And they fetched some water
Fresh from the ground,
In hopes that a swig
Might calm everyone down.
And when they returned
To quiet the matter,
The children were calmer
(And mysteriously fatter!).
The boys and girls drank up
Their drinks in the hay,
Then thanked old Mack Nuggett
And waddled away.
They limped to the school bus
All huffing and puffing--
It’s not easy to walk
With hot turkey stuffing.
And then, as the school bus drove off in the night,
Mack Nuggett looked ‘round--not a turkey in sight!”
― 'Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving
“These feathery beasts
Will be chopped up and roasted
For Thanksgiving feasts.”
The children stood still
As tears filled their eyes,
Then they clamored aloud
In a chorus of cries.
“Oh dear,” cried Mack Nuggett,
“Now what shall I do?”
So he dashed to the well,
And the teacher went, too.
And they fetched some water
Fresh from the ground,
In hopes that a swig
Might calm everyone down.
And when they returned
To quiet the matter,
The children were calmer
(And mysteriously fatter!).
The boys and girls drank up
Their drinks in the hay,
Then thanked old Mack Nuggett
And waddled away.
They limped to the school bus
All huffing and puffing--
It’s not easy to walk
With hot turkey stuffing.
And then, as the school bus drove off in the night,
Mack Nuggett looked ‘round--not a turkey in sight!”
― 'Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving
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