

“To manage fear you only need to believe you can do things.
To manage danger you must be able to do things.”
―
To manage danger you must be able to do things.”
―

“Whether the person you are dealing with is playing a Monkey dominance game or is a pure predator, he wants to deal with a Monkey. When you are in your Monkey brain you are emotional and most of all predictable. Predators (rapists, robbers, murderers--but also the cold-blooded corporate ladder climber) thrive on this and count on you following your social scripts.”
― ConCom: Conflict Communication A New Paradigm in Conscious Communication
― ConCom: Conflict Communication A New Paradigm in Conscious Communication

“if someone says, “Shut the fuck up or I’m going to beat your ass,” and it escalates into a fight you will have real trouble proving self-defense... because you didn’t simply shut the fuck up. Self-defense is about defending your body, not your pride. If this threat display devolves into a fight, you were engaged in the Monkey Dance. You were not defending yourself. •”
― Facing Violence: Preparing for the Unexpected
― Facing Violence: Preparing for the Unexpected

“Modern life has fewer circumstances where panic is a bonus. Most of our perceived dangers (cancer, the ecological crisis du jour, international bad guy of the month) give us more than enough time to gather information and make conscious choices. But the Monkey sometimes finds panic far more satisfying.”
― ConCom: Conflict Communication A New Paradigm in Conscious Communication
― ConCom: Conflict Communication A New Paradigm in Conscious Communication

“Do not interpret anything I say here to mean “don’t fight back.” I’m also not going to patronize you with half-truths or platitudes. This is ugly on many levels: the level of the incident and the level of social conditioning to “get along,” which can make it so much harder to decide not to be a victim. This means that if and when a woman chooses to fight, it must be a total effort. In many cases, there is no level of force that will simply discourage a male attacker. He must be incapacitated. This is my advice and I think this mindset is critical, but the actual statistics are less grim—many assailants do run away and do not escalate when they encounter unexpected resistance.”
― Meditations on Violence: A Comparison of Martial Arts Training and Real World Violence
― Meditations on Violence: A Comparison of Martial Arts Training and Real World Violence
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