“The First [Friend] is the alter ego, the man who first reveals to you that you are not alone in the world by turning out (beyond hope) to share all your most secret delights. There is nothing to be overcome in making him your friend; he and you join like raindrops on a window. But the Second Friend is the man who disagrees with you about everything. He is not so much the alter ego as the antiself. Of course he shares your interests; otherwise he would not become your friend at all. But he has approached them all at a different angle. He has read all the right books but has got the wrong thing out of every one. It is as if he spoke your language but mispronounced it. How can he be so nearly right and yet, invariably, just not right? He is as fascinating (and infuriating) as a woman. When you set out to correct his heresies, you will find that he forsooth to correct yours! And then you go at it, hammer and tongs, far into the night, night after night, or walking through fine country that neither gives a glance to, each learning the weight of the other's punches, and often more like mutually respectful enemies than friends. Actually (though it never seems so at the time) you modify one another's thought; out of this perpetual dogfight a community of mind and a deep affection emerge.”
― Surprised by Joy: The Shape of My Early Life
― Surprised by Joy: The Shape of My Early Life
“Nothing, I suspect, is more astonishing in any man's life than the discovery that there do exist people very, very like himself.”
― Surprised by Joy: The Shape of My Early Life
― Surprised by Joy: The Shape of My Early Life
“The reader who finds these three episodes of no interest need read this book no further, for in a sense the central story of my life is about nothing else. For those who are still disposed to proceed I will only underline the quality common to the three experiences; it is that of an unsatisfied desire which is itself more desirable than any other satisfaction. I call it Joy, which is here a technical term and must be sharply distinguished both from Happiness and from Pleasure. Joy (in my sense) has indeed one characteristic, and one only, in common with them; the fact that anyone who has experienced it will want it again. Apart from that, and considered only in its quality, it might almost equally well be called a particular kind of unhappiness or grief. But then it is a kind we want. I doubt whether anyone who has tasted it would ever, if both were in his power, exchange it for all the pleasures in the world. But then Joy is never in our power and pleasure often is. I”
― Surprised by Joy: The Shape of My Early Life
― Surprised by Joy: The Shape of My Early Life
“The moment good taste knows itself, some of its goodness is lost.”
― Surprised by Joy: The Shape of My Early Life
― Surprised by Joy: The Shape of My Early Life
“who can describe beauty? The reader may smile at this as the far-off echo of a precocious calf love, but he will be wrong. There are beauties so unambiguous that they need no lens of that kind to reveal them; they are visible even to the careless and objective eyes of a child.”
― Surprised by Joy: The Shape of My Early Life
― Surprised by Joy: The Shape of My Early Life
Shyla Troyer’s 2024 Year in Books
Take a look at Shyla Troyer’s Year in Books, including some fun facts about their reading.
More friends…
Polls voted on by Shyla Troyer
Lists liked by Shyla Troyer












