Max

“-Good thing you don’t own a mirror, Mr. Mirrorless, or you’d see how ugly you are.

-What makes you think I don’t own a mirror? Every face that ever looks at me tells me that I’m ugly. But every time I make them laugh, I get to show them what beauty really is.

-I see what you mean. Here, take my rearview mirror. I don’t need to carry it around like a vagina on a rope anymore.

-Mr. Thrustsalone, you don’t need to drag a vagina on a rope like some kind of pet on a leash to make you happy. There’s a reason why God invented right hands and hookers.

-Why, so politicians could have more productive ways to spend their time and our money than engaging in politics?

-Mr. Thrustsalone, you are wise beyond your years.

-I’m 88 years old.

-Yet you don’t look a day older than 87.”
― Jarod Kintz, At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

“It’s absolutely unfair for women to say that guys only want one thing: sex. We also want food.”
― Jarod Kintz, $3.33