Randy

“When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.”
― Rodney Dangerfield

“When anybody honks at me in traffic, I blush, wave, and shout, “Thanks for being a fan.” Being a celebrity is a 24/7 thing.”
― Jarod Kintz, $3.33

“I read somewhere that 77 percent of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I'm more intrigued by the 23 percent who are apparently doing quite well for themselves.”
― Jerry Garcia

“Look out for number one and try not to step in number two.”
― Rodney Dangerfield